Day 25

Scripture focus: Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes. Proverbs 26:4-5 NIV

Do you love trivia? Here’s a question for you trivia lovers: what are the five words most often spoken to me? Here are your choices: A. Your messages are too long. B. Tell me what to do. C. The devotionals are too short. D. You need a wardrobe consultant. Answer key: Although (A.) and (D.) are technically true, most people are too gracious to mutter them (the rest of you know who you are). (C.) is false; I’m never accused of brevity. Why say something in five words if you can use ten or better yet, twenty? Of course, the answer is (B.) Tell me what to do.

Suffering people struggle with anxiety, depression, and frustration. They often feel hopeless and helpless. Prayers come out in the form of moans. “To seek God when you are in hell and not able to find him is the most despairing journey of the human heart.” (p. 18 Running In Circles) In the face of two choices: asking for instructions or isolating in disconnected solitary suffering – asking is the far superior choice. The value of the asking may not lie in the answer. I suspect that the humility and willingness that a sincere “ask” requires may be far more valuable than any guru’s response. This humility and willingness are essential characteristics of a person in the midst of metamorphosis.

In Proverbs 26, verses 4 and 5, do you see a potential frustration? Within the same verse the writer gives two contradictory statements. Someone suffering from the folly of another might end up pretty confused listening to this guru’s advice. Kenny Rogers croons, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em” – awesome. Tell me what to do. How do I learn when to hold and when to fold – when to speak and when to remain silent? Jesus handled his temptations in the desert with a craftsman’s precision and skill. He knew his enemy; more importantly, he knew himself. But for people prone to cyclical suffering, it’s perfectly understandable that we lack confidence in our own ability to follow his lead.

Five words: vision, identity, purpose, discipline, and belief.

If you want to acquire a big, beautiful heart in a world of hurt, do the following:

1. Learn how to see the world (both seen and unseen) through the lens of God-vision goggles [vision].

2. Learn the true identity of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, self, and the enemy. Study their character, calling and conclusions. We have the entire story in scripture; we can read the final chapter. The story is finished. The only question that remains is how you are going to respond.

3. Discover God’s prevailing purposes. Jesus is the consummate example of one who stayed focused on God’s purposes – and his part in the story. It was this clarity of purpose that equipped him to know when to speak, and when to remain silent (Remember his trial? He remained silent; then he spoke.). In Luke four, his popularity in the polls vanishes and the crowd threatens to toss him over a cliff. On that day he folds ‘em and walks off. In the Garden of Gethsemane, he holds ‘em and waits for his accusers.

4. Practice stepping as God speaks. We aren’t Jesus, but we are promised the gift of transformation. This will require discipline. We can have the mind of Christ. But it isn’t delivered by FedEx or UPS.

5. Believe. John tells us, “The work of God is this: believe in the one He has sent.” Good intentions won’t provide the fuel to run the race. People who believe act on what they learn.

Recommended reading: Genesis 50 and Exodus 1 in the morning; Matthew 17 and Psalm 21 in the evening

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 NIV

Day 24 – Jesus knew his God-created identity and prevailing purpose

Scripture focus: As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:16-17 NIV

Speculate with me for a moment. Jesus could have made other choices. He could have turned those stones into bread and immediately taken a big bite out of the tastiest loaf. He could justify his actions by thinking that it would provide him with the strength to continue his battle with the devil. (Of course, it reminds me of that nasty fruit tasting incident in Genesis three – and that didn’t work out so well for Adam and Eve.)

Jesus could have said, “Back off buddy, you aren’t the boss of me! I’m not going to fall for your tricky tricks. You got Adam and Eve with this temptation – but not me! You’re a slimy snake, and I want nothing to do with you. In fact, I smite thee with my righteous anger!” This too would have been theologically correct. Jesus does ultimately overcome the oppressor. Why not just get that part of the story out of the way?

The Son of God could have fled to the nearest prayer closet. He could have said to Satan, “Could you hold that thought? I need to go reflect on this in prayer.” Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to pray during stressful times of ministry.

He could have stood before his accuser in silence. As he gazed into the face of the enemy, he could have been praying, “Abba, Father, save me!” Certainly he prayed at all times and with his God connection, he knows his daddy was listening.

Setting speculation aside, what did he actually do? Sometimes big insights into scriptural passages come by looking back in the text. What was the event that preceded the temptation? The baptism of Jesus. What did his daddy say to him? “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

“In the Gospels, Jesus does not succumb to every kind of suffering that comes his way. His identity as God’s beloved Son and his sense of purpose and calling cause him to avoid certain situations. God reminds him before he goes into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil that Jesus is his beloved Son. This reminder…is to encourage Jesus and build him up before a period of desolation. In the wilderness, Jesus knows who he is. There is no doubt in his mind – and he states it. The Enemy tries over and over to challenge this identity. He distorts Scripture, and if Jesus were to follow what Satan wanted, he would come under the bondage and oppression of evil. Time after time he answers Satan’s distortions with statements of victory and purpose. When he emerges from the wilderness, his identity leads him to begin his ministry the right way. “ (p. 20, Running In Circles)

Now, return with me to our hypothetical story in yesterday’s devotional. Can we formulate a four point plan for how to escape the cyclical suffering that often accompanies big family gatherings? I don’t know. What I do know is that the cornerstone of any effective planning will require the following: we must know our true God-created identity, we must be well-versed in hearing God’s voice, and disciplined in the fine art of stepping as he speaks.

Recommended reading: Genesis 48 and 49 in the morning; Matthew 16 and Psalm 20 in the evening

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 NIV

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 23 - Avoid becoming a glutton for punishment Scripture focus: Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." Matthew 4:1-3 NIV Recently I listened as someone shared their moral inventory with me (see information about this fifth step process on our web site www.northstarcommunity.com ). Abuse, neglect, and massive amounts of suffering were consistent themes. "Wow." I said at story's end. Then I let the tears flow. Staring back at me with a stern look of disapproval, this fifth stepper said, "Hey, none of that. I'm tough. I can take it." If we were picking a team that could be tough and suffer, my first round draft pick would be Jesus. He's proven that he can take a licking and keep on ticking. Long before his crucifixion and subsequent resurrection, Jesus experienced suffering. In fact, Matthew four reveals it was his pre-game meal - prior to beginning his three years of public ministry. After fasting for forty days and nights, Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by Satan. Now, if you were the "baddest man in town" - I think being the Son of God qualifies you for that title - (no offense to Jim Croce and Leroy Brown) might you say to yourself, "I'm tough. I can take it." With that kind of attitude, when Satan said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." What might you expect Jesus to do? (Please pause to prepare and refrain from giving the "right" answer that comes from having read this passage a hundred times in the past.) Remember, Jesus hadn't eaten in forty days. Don't forget, he turns water into wine at his mother's insistence, in spite of his reluctance to do so. He was hungry. His "God-hood" was being questioned. He had the ability to perform the challenge. And what did he choose? He quotes scripture. He reframes the challenge. Jesus doesn't need to prove either his manhood or his "God-hood." He is far more concerned with what God thinks of him than Satan. Jesus refuses to run into the fiery trial of suffering in an insecure attempt to prove himself to his enemy. Suppose you're the adult child of an abusive alcoholic. When you were a kid you had to "take it." Perhaps your codependent parent remained in the marriage "for the sake of the kids" and failed to provide the protection from this abuser that you deserved. As an adult, you go home for family gatherings and your abuser continues to rule the roost. During a particularly contentious meal, the force of the abuser's wrath is turned on you. What do you do? Do you decide you're "tough" and can take it? Do you pray for God to save you as you sit in your seat and listen to your accuser accuse? On the ride home, do you make excuses for your parent's bad behaving to your own children? What if you reframed your experience? What if you said to yourself, "Jesus does not succumb to every kind of suffering that comes his way (p. 20 Running On Empty) and neither do I. I don't have to take this anymore. " Armed with this renewed perspective, you make a plan - and stick with it. More on that plan tomorrow. Recommended reading: Genesis 46 and 47 in the morning; Psalm 19 in the evening Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 TNIV

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Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 22 - The danger of false spirituality Scripture focus: Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that is taking place among you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 1 Peter 4:12 My husband and I got into a rather lively debate on the nature of mercy (compassion for others) and grace (unmerited favor). As imitators of Christ, both of us believe that spiritual maturation will require that we become more merciful and gracious as we age. The suffering of others concerns followers of Christ, because it concerns God. What Pete and I are struggling with is our observation that sacred people can sometimes act like suckers. Christians occasionally make the most radical codependents. Frankly, I feel a little chagrined by my perspective. Is it harsh? Am I lacking the mercy gene? God is so amazing. While we were discussing the concepts of mercy and grace in the face of suffering, God was merciful, providing me with comfort and a fresh perspective as I struggled with my self-doubt (Let me be clear. Self-doubt is a good thing if one is prone to being "often wrong by never in doubt")! Kim V. Engelmann writes about this very topic in her marvelous book, Running In Circles. Brought up in a family with a theologian father and an abusive mother who regularly spoke a spiritual language - it took years for Engelmann to realize that faith is sometimes a hindrance to productive suffering. "The most chilling aspect of those years was the fact that my mother's spiritual language seemed to validate everything. Our family's faith was a mixed blessing. Had we not believed in God, we might have sought help much more readily. Paradoxically, spiritual language can be a lacquer that covers over and justifies problems rather than helping us discern the most appropriate, even obvious course of action." (pp.16-17) I knew it! It's true! Sometimes spirituality is a thinly veiled cover for cyclical suffering! (I am not saying that this is intentional or premeditated.) Cyclical suffering is neither merciful nor gracious! God is the God of renewal, restoration, transformation and healing. How dare we marinate in the juices of suffering without benefiting from its power to inform, instruct, refine and strengthen? Engelmann continues - "I am a pastor now, and I see many people trapped in a similar cycle of pain. The wife of a bipolar man whose wild spending habits have brought them to financial ruin says, 'God is telling me to love him and pray harder.' There is certainly nothing wrong with loving, and praying harder is always warranted in difficult situations. But these people reappear in my office a week, a month, even a year or two later asking why God hasn't done anything. Despite their earnest prayers, heaven is silent. The old patterns keep repeating. There is no relief. In fact, the problem now looms larger than before." (p.17) Amen!! Peter the disciple reminds us that we aren't supposed to be surprised at the trials that come to test us. But we're not supposed to run into the flames! Suffering is no stranger to us - but for Pete's sake - life will provide plenty of it without making choices that actually feed the beast! The next few days of devotionals will provide us an opportunity to stretch our spiritual muscles. Eat your Wheaties and get ready. Recommended reading: Genesis 44 and 45 in the morning; Matthew 15 in the evening Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 TNIV

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 21 - Week at a glance Scripture focus: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity." Jeremiah 29:11-14a NIV 1. There are five roadblocks to recovery that can derail our best intentions: stubborn resistance, intentions, arrogant entitlement, resentment and disconnected isolation. 2. Humility is an antidote to these roadblocks. 3. Humility makes us teachable and open to suggestions. (God makes us both willing and able to follow through on those suggestions.) 4. Humility provides the firm foundation that gives us the wisdom to see that people don't much care about our good intentions if we never pull the trigger and follow through. (God provides us with the wisdom to realize that we need to pay attention to how others perceive us.) 5. Humility leaves no room in our heart for arrogant entitlement. We learn that life isn't all about "us". (God sends others into our lives so that we can learn how to serve rather than always trying to find someone to serve us.) 6. Resentment melts away (over time) when our humble spirits continue to inform us about the truth of our own shortcomings. (God is patient with us while this process proceeds.) 7. Isolation isn't an option for people who are humbled by the grace and mercy of God. It may be messy and challenging, but big-hearted people know that when God said love him and others, that command was going to require that we live in a community. (God shapes our definition of what family means, and provides principles for how to live healthily within our community.) 8. Intimacy is a second key antidote if we're going to live large. We simply have to learn how to get along with others without them driving us crazy or vice versa. (Prayer is essential - fortunately, God listens and responds.) 9. We must "reframe" our perspective on suffering. (God has the "frame" we need.) 10. We must humble ourselves and get a grip on what prosperity, God's grand epic adventure, hope and a future mean in the kingdom of God. (God is quite capable of providing this renewed view.) 11. In all of these things, we continue to ask ourselves: what are the half-truths and whole-lies that are standing between me and my maturity? (The big boys and girls of the world will go to any lengths to allow God's maturation process to proceed.) This completes the first twenty one steps of your 365 step journey; I pray you are nearer to God as a result of the steps you've taken this week. Recommended reading: Genesis 43 and Proverbs 4 in the morning; Matthew 14 in the evening Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 TNIV Click "Comments" Below to Join the Discussion Scroll down to the Archive Section to View Previous Devotionals.

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 20 - The paradox of suffering - Part II Scripture focus: Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:2-8 NIV As Ortberg stated, suffering is paradoxical. "Here's the other side of the paradox. Ask ten people what the number-one reason is why they doubt the existence of God. Nine of them will say it is the existence of pain and suffering in the world. We cannot fathom why there is so much hurt, so deep and so unexplained. We cannot understand why a good, loving and competent God does not come down and fix up this mess. Now. Today." (pp.7-8 Running In Circles) Here's the part in this series where you get to put those big panties on! Suffering, pain, trauma and tragedy are not like a math equation. There's no formula for avoiding bad times. If someone has left the impression that faith-filled people don't experience trials, then something is wrong. Scripture never says that. What scripture does say is that people who believe can be assured that their suffering is not meaningless. In Stephen Arterburn's book Reframe Your Life, he provides a model for transforming our view of suffering. He agrees with Ortberg who agrees with scripture! "When you reframe your life, you live with a new level of discernment because you are always looking below the surface for more information before you make assumptions about people and situations." (p. 141) That's the wisdom James is referring to in our scripture focus for today! Discerning people realize that there's more going on than we realize. Grab a pair of God vision goggles - and use them! This requires keeping them firmly smashed on our face even when seeing the truth is inconvenient or sad or painful or disappointing. We don't just accessorize with our spirituality! It's our foundation. One couple, missionaries at the time, suffered greatly as his sexual addiction was exposed. God didn't swoop in and protect them from the consequences of this wrongdoing. I suspect that days, weeks and even months or years into the journey both of them probably wished this whole mess had never happened. I'm grateful they chose to believe God. Instead of playing the role of victim, trying to duck out of their respective responsibilities, or hoping God would make it all go away, these two entered into the process of recovery. Today they help other families who find themselves suffering with the same affliction. Melissa and Troy Haas tell their story in two books: the Journey - Hope for Spouses Walking Through The Valley of Sexual Addiction (Melissa) and Building For Freedom - Allowing Christ to Reconstruct A Life Broken by Sexual Sin. (Troy). They are a testimony to the wild and crazy way God prospers, protects from harm, gives us hope and provides us with a future. What kind of suffering do you choose? Recommended reading: Genesis 41 and 42 in the morning; Matthew 13 and Psalm 18 in the evening Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 TNIV Click "Comments" Below to Join the Discussion Scroll down to the Archive Section to View Previous Devotionals.

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 19 - The paradox of suffering, Part I Scripture focus: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV "This is not what I signed up for in this marriage. We made a covenant before GOD!!! We gave our life to him; traveled all over the world for him; had daily devotionals and attended spiritual retreats! Heck, we even led retreats on marriage enrichment!!! How could this be happening to us? Didn't God say he would prosper us and protect us from harm? Where is God in all this? He said he'd give us hope and future - you call this mess hopeful?" Like many spiritually-minded people, this family has recently uncovered a hidden addiction - and it's tearing the family apart. They don't understand. Quoting Jeremiah 29:11 as if it's a "get out of suffering free card," this family is wrestling with how such a dirty little secret could have festered in such a desperately devoted household. This is a spiritual conundrum worth unpacking! Has it occurred to you that perhaps God's definition of prosperity is wildly different than our own presumptions? John Ortberg says, "There is a strange paradox deep in the soul. Years ago, I was part of a survey that asked thousands of people what had most helped them grow spiritually. The number one answer was pain." (Running In Circles, p. 7) The number one answer was pain. Pain helps people grow spiritually. Suffering can produce hope and a future. Cyclical suffering (unproductive, repetitive, never-learn-a-single-lesson-from-it-suffering) is harmful. Productive suffering prevents harm and produces character. It is one way to strengthen a heart. "Times of suffering and difficulty had a way of making people aware of their frailty and lack of control. They shatter our self-sufficiency. They open us up to receiving the truth about ourselves. When biblical writers like James say that suffering has the power to bring about maturity in the human soul, they are simply making observations about the way things are." (Ortberg continues.) My friend cries out in his grief, not because he's a lousy theologian, but simply because he has a decision to make. It's the same decision you and I face daily. Are we on this spiritual journey for the promise of prosperity? Or are we walking this road because we believe in the One God sent? Baby believers may run to the throne of grace in response to suffering in hopes of finding relief. That's as it should be - keep on coming, God loves his babies! But big boy and girl believers grow big hearts when they realize that this journey isn't all about "me"! My friend has lived a long time entrenched in spiritual "doings" without growing out of his baby fat. This suffering experience is an opportunity to rejoice over. This is a pivotal moment in his life: will he hold on to his pacifier (addiction) or will he allow God to mold him into his true God-created identity? There's more going on than God following us around making sure we're comfy. A friend gave me this sign, and I read it regularly, "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!" This is a heartless world that inherently produces suffering. Harm happens. God is providing us a way to suffer productively. Listen, this is a huge point - avoidance of suffering is not an option in this world. The question is, how will you respond to the opportunity to grow as you suffer? Recommended reading: Genesis 39 and 40 in the morning; Psalm 17 in the evening Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 TNIV Click "Comments" Below to Join the Discussion Scroll down to the Archive Section to View Previous Devotionals.