June 12 - Neighbors

Scripture focus: The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood. We saw the glory with our own eyes, the one-of-a-kind glory, like Father, like Son, generous inside and out, true from start to finish. John 1:14 (The Message)

Why did Jesus move into the neighborhood? Was it a good time to buy property? Early in my introduction to Jesus, people told me he came to earth to save me from my sins. My child's mind heard this, "You are so bad, God had to send his son to live on planet earth to protect the world from you." This teaching was also paired with the song, "Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so, little ones to him belong, they are weak but he is strong." So I figured I was bad and weak. I imagined that God had to fling Jesus from heaven against his will. Who would willingly leave heaven, especially if the purpose of the visit is to deal with all the bad people who are too weak to help themselves?

I lived with this God-is-reluctant-but-able-to-save you philosophy for many years. I tried to make it easier for Jesus to live in my neighborhood by being a good girl. On those days when I couldn't quite carry out my best intentions, I learned some coping strategies – blaming, defending, manipulating, and self-deceiving. I even learned how to starve myself so that I could be needless and wantless – totally self-sufficient.

All these efforts to hide my weakness in a vain attempt to make life more bearable for a reluctant traveling God left me exhausted and disingenuous. So it came as quite a shock and a great relief to hear that I had ascribed wrong motives to Jesus' transfer from heaven to earth.

Jesus, who lives in complete harmony with God, came to earth and moved into the neighborhood to protect, not to spy or judge or condemn or punish. He moved into the neighborhood because he loved us and his father, not because we were a pain in his holy neck. God didn't send Jesus to earth to handle the sin problem – because sin can't be managed. He sent him in flesh and blood form to demonstrate his love for us.

God desires to protect us. Generous inside and out, true from start to finish, God's desire to renovate and restore is an act of protective love not a shame-driven desire to whip his children into shape. Jesus moves into the neighborhood because we delight him, not in response to disappointment with our human foibles and limitations.

What would life be like in each of our neighborhoods if we held tightly to the belief and firm conviction that God desires to protect us from the dangers that our vulnerabilities to sin and shame expose us to on a daily basis?

Recommended reading: Psalm 56-58

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 11 - Protection

Scripture focus: God said, "What have you done! The voice of your brother's blood is calling to me from the ground. From now on you'll get nothing but curses from this ground; you'll be driven from this ground that has opened its arms to receive the blood of your murdered brother. You'll farm this ground, but it will no longer give you its best. You'll be a homeless wanderer on Earth." Cain said to God, "My punishment is too much. I can't take it! You've thrown me off the land and I can never again face you. I'm a homeless wanderer on Earth and whoever finds me will kill me." God told him, "No. Anyone who kills Cain will pay for it seven times over." God put a mark on Cain to protect him so that no one who met him would kill him. Cain left the presence of God and lived in No-Man's-Land, east of Eden. Genesis 4:10-26 (The Message)

Cain distrusts God, disses God and ultimately betrays both God and his brother.
What is God's response? He protects Cain.

God's in the business of protecting his children. You're not excluded from his good intentions.

What difference would it make if we woke up every morning, completely trusting God with ourselves?

Recommended reading: Psalm 53-55

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 10 - Death by shame

Scripture focus: Cain had words with his brother. They were out in the field; Cain came at Abel his brother and killed him. God said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" He said, "How should I know? Am I his babysitter?" Genesis 6-9 (The Message)

We have a grave responsibility and an awesome opportunity.

Future generations can benefit from our lessons learned.

Adam and Eve sinned, which inflamed shame, and then they hid. God had to give them consequences for their actions when they refused to accept responsibility. Consequences are one of God's primary ways of getting us to pay attention to our sin.

It would have been really neat if Adam and Eve could have taught Cain and Abel that sin can't be managed but it can be disclosed.

Cain could have disclosed his lack of trust in God and himself, "God, I'm feeling pretty insecure, wondering if you love me, wondering if I'm even worth loving." This kind of honest disclosure actually reduces the compulsion to sin. Cain didn't disclose. He distrusted God's love. Maybe he doubted his own ability to be "good enough" for God. And Cain was right to wonder. We can never be good enough. But God isn't trying to get us to a state of "good enough" – he gives us the gift of true, God-created identity and asks us to embrace it – a far better state than "good enough."

To be continued....

Recommended reading: Psalm 50-52

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 9 - Cain's shame

Scripture focus: Cain lost his temper and went into a sulk. God spoke to Cain: "Why this tantrum? Why the sulking? If you do well, won't you be accepted? And if you don't do well, sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it's out to get you, you've got to master it." Genesis 4:5(b) – 7 (The Message)

How do we master sin? We don't – but God can. Cain demonstrated one of the primary signs of a shamed person. He lost his temper. Oddly enough, shame doesn't teach us to cower and apologize incessantly for our shameful ways.

In its convoluted, crafty style, shame convinces us of our need to attack and defend. This allows shame to stay in command and renders us incapable of giving and receiving love. Other emotions and behaviors often attached to a shame attack include:

• A compulsion to blame.
  
• A commitment to attacking with anger.
  
• A pervasive sense of fear and unease.
  
• A lack of self-awareness.
  
• A propensity to live unconsciously, completely unaware of how others perceive us.
  
• An intentional attempt to hide from others.
  

Cain lost his temper and Abel lost his life. Shame messes not only with us, but the lives of those that love us too. In fact, Frank Pittman says in Private Lives, that "Any effort to disorient your partner is a power play that will eventually hurt the relationship. People who are lied to become dependent, anxious, delicate, and over-reactive...."

When we allow shame to determine our steps, we will deliberately deceive and disorient those that love us. So maybe denial has his ugly fingers wrapped around your neck, choking the life out of you. Perhaps you don't know why we'd spend all this time talking about shame. If so, I wonder if you would consider studying the life of those who are close to you. Do they seem dependent, anxious, delicate and over-reactive? If so, could you be a contributing factor?

Recommended reading: Psalm 47-49

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 8 - Who loves you baby?

Scripture focus: Adam slept with Eve his wife. She conceived and had Cain. She said, "I've gotten a man, with God's help!" Then she had another baby, Abel. Abel was a herdsman and Cain a farmer. Time passed. Cain brought an offering to God from the produce of his farm. Abel also brought an offering, but from the firstborn animals of his herd, choice cuts of meat. God liked Abel and his offering, but Cain and his offering didn't get his approval. Genesis 4:1-5(a) (The Message)

God does not constantly approve of us like a doting parent in denial.

I have a teacher friend who tells me that the worst part of her job is dealing with parents who think their children are perfect. She believes that these parents may have good intentions – they believe they are protecting their children. But what's really happening is that these poor kids are learning some lousy (and unanticipated) lessons.

I had a kid tell me once that his mother didn't think he could do anything wrong – and he hated how she always defended him, charged up to the school and blasted his teachers, and even once threatened to sue his piano teacher. I asked him why he hated this. Surely he liked it that his mom never fussed at him!

"Oh, but she does. She just doesn't do it in front of others." This kid's mom was so worried about how her child's behavior reflected on her, she could not accept any acknowledgement of a mistake in public. And if he did what comes naturally to children and adults alike – make a mistake – she had to blame someone else for it. I know this well-intentioned mom believes that she's supporting her son's efforts and making sure that others don't inflict harm. But what's she done is teach her kid that she doesn't trust him to manage his own life. She's taught him that the world is out to get him, and he needs to defend himself with offensive actions. She's taught him that making mistakes is such a big deal, that we must go to all sorts of crazy lengths to make sure that we never ever admit we made a mistake. She's teaching her kid to hide. She's teaching him that she loves him conditionally.

On the other hand, God demonstrates his love for us like this – while we were still running around in fig leaves, before we ever came clean and acknowledged our sin and shame – he went out and made us some cool leather clothes to protect us.

I ask you – who loves more? The one who sees the sin and loves any way, or the one who is so sensitized to sin that they cannot acknowledge its presence? God loves us even when we act out.

Recommended reading: Hosea 11-14

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 7 - Godly intentions

Scripture focus: God made leather clothing for Adam and his wife and dressed them. God said, "The Man has become like one of us, capable of knowing everything, ranging from good to evil. What if he now should reach out and take fruit from the Tree-of-Life and eat, and live forever? Never-this cannot happen!" So God expelled them from the Garden of Eden and sent them to work the ground, the same dirt out of which they'd been made. He threw them out of the garden and stationed angel-cherubim and a revolving sword of fire east of it, guarding the path to the Tree-of-Life. Genesis 3:21-24 (The Message)

Previous verses give us a picture of a parent handing out consequences. Depending on your trust level, you might see this as discipline or punishment. But it's hard for even the most distrusting reader to not have their heart grow a size or two with today's scripture focus.

It is as we imagine God taking the time to make leather clothing for Adam and his wife that we see how much God loves us. Those fig leaves were completely ineffectual at managing, covering, and hiding their sin and shame. God could have left them scratching their loins, wondering if they did or did not choose a poisonous leaf, exposed in spite of their best fig leaf picking. God could have thought, "Well, a fine mess they've made of things! Serves them right to have to walk around worrying about what is and what is not showing. Let's just see how they like fig leaf apparel! Then God could have walked off in a huff, thinking, "I'll show them. They didn't love and trust me, so I'll give them a taste of their own medicine. I'll leave them to their own devices. Let them figure out how to manage their shame."

But God didn't. Instead, and even though Adam and his wife had a need for clothing as a direct result of growing forgetful of their loving relationship with God, God still provided for them in their time of need.

God protects us - most often from ourselves.

This is his driving motivation - to love and protect his children.

We can trust God with who we really are - even our secret sins and shameful thoughts.

Recommended reading: Hosea 7-10

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 6 - Shame triggers fear of consequences

Scripture focus: He told the Woman: "I'll multiply your pains in childbirth; you'll give birth to your babies in pain. You'll want to please your husband, but he'll lord it over you." He told the Man: "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from, 'Don't eat from this tree,' the very ground is cursed because of you; getting food from the ground will be as painful as having babies is for your wife; you'll be working in pain all your life long. The ground will sprout thorns and weeds, you'll get your food the hard way, planting and tilling and harvesting, sweating in the fields from dawn to dusk, until you return to that ground yourself, dead and buried; you started out as dirt, you'll end up dirt." The Man, known as Adam, named his wife Eve because she was the mother of all the living. Genesis 3:16-20 (The Message)

Adam and Eve experienced serious consequences for their poor decision-making. Most of us can relate! Clearly they receive consequences for their behavior. But what is the motivation behind God's parental discipline? Is it to punish, or protect? Is it to disgrace, or discipline? The motives we ascribe to God and others will seriously affect our own sense of shame.

At a recent TrueFaced Conference, one of the presenters said something that I particularly appreciated: "If we believe and fear that disclosure of a sin will cost us as much as discovery of that sin, then we will wait to be discovered. We will wait for someone to discover it." If we believe that God (and others) are driven to punish and disgrace us, we will always hide our sin (a very unhealthy response that actually increases our sin vulnerability). When we believe that God (and others) trust and love us, even when they discipline us, we understand that this discipline is for our protection. Does this help make sense of why we tend to hide at the very time when we are in greatest need of support?

It will take a powerful motivational source to convince us to become honest, open, self-disclosing people. Fortunately, God has made just such a provision for times like these. Why do we even care whether we disclose or wait to get caught in the act of sin? More on that later.

For today, prayerfully try to wrap your brain around the idea that disclosure is a gift that will actually reduce our sinful ways; discovery increases our shame and causes those we love to doubt our willingness to change.

Recommended reading: Hosea 4-6

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community