June 5 - Shame says, "Hide!"

Scripture focus: He said, "I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid." God said, "Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?" The Man said, "The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it." God said to the Woman, "What is this that you've done?" "The serpent seduced me," she said, "and I ate." Genesis 3:11-13 (The Message)

If sin (living independently of God) inflames shame, what exactly is shame?

• Shame-filled people believe that something is uniquely broken in us that cannot be fixed.
• Shame-filled folks have the mistaken impression that because we sin something is wrong with us.
• Unresolved shame creates the need to hide and isolate, robs us of our dignity and ability to be honest with ourselves about our shame. Notice that Adam and Eve didn't go running off to tell their heavenly Father what they did wrong. Instead, they hid.
• Since the human has no capacity to cope with sin, most people choose to try to manage their sin by blaming others for their problems. It's easy to get confused and think that shame-soaked people have a problem accepting personal responsibility. But the root of the problem is a keen awareness of our own powerlessness in the face of sin. We can try to boost our attempts at accepting personal responsibility, but without dealing with the root of the issue we will run on the hamster wheel of shame unless we get to the bottom of this problem!

The good news is that shame comes with a host of symptoms, which can help us identify when we've gotten ourselves into a stewpot of shame. Some symptoms of a shame attack include:

1. High sensitivity to our own sin and therefore, high sensitivity to the sin of others.
2. In a difficult situation a shame-filled person loses objectivity and the ability to love others and instead, we go to any lengths to become the issue.
3. Unable to give and receive love.
4. Susceptible to wrong life choices.
5. Controlling of others.
6. Unable to stick with, establish long term healthy relationships because our shame will lie to us about others (expect too much/judge/hypersensitive), assume they think like we do (expect too much of them/judge them/hypersensitive), and we will either withdraw or sabotage the relationship by shaming behaviors until they have to protect themselves from our angry, shaming ways.
7. Shaming creates hiding and isolating behaviors - so that we resist joining groups, asking for feedback, putting ourselves in situations where we share ourselves in an honest and true way.

Recommended reading: Hosea 1-3

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 4 - Fig Leaf Failure

Scripture focus: Immediately the two of them did "see what's really going on"-saw themselves naked! They sewed fig leaves together as makeshift clothes for themselves. When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God. God called to the Man: "Where are you?" Genesis 3:7-9 (The Message)

Adam and Eve got what they wanted; tasting the fruit immediately allowed them to see "what's really going on" - but it failed to provide them with God-vision goggles.
Living independently of God (abandoning their commitment to a love relationship with Him),

Adam and Even lost the ability to see themselves as God sees them - holy and dearly beloved. One bite of the fruit, and these two see themselves through a mirror best reserved for circus acts and freak shows. Their self-image became distorted. Their esteem plummeted. No longer able to remember their favored status as kids of the King, their sin inflames their shame, and their shame becomes their defining feature. (Some people think their eviction from the Garden was the point of "separation," but didn't the relationship with Adam, Eve and God really crash the minute they chose to distrust God?)

The other day I went to wash a load of clothes and in my haste slammed the washing machine top down on my poor little old thumb - an appendage that is completely ill-equipped to withstand the pressure of a fast moving washing machine lid. For the remainder of the evening, the only thing I could feel was my aching, purple thumb. My persistent cough was not an issue. Nor did I notice that my legs continued to work fine. All I could think of was my injury, and worry about whether my thumbnail would stay attached. No amount of ice, salve, or soothing words could comfort me.

Sin is like a sore thumb. The human mind, body and spirit make no provision for "handling" sin. As the authors of TrueFaced (a wonderful book I highly recommend to the reader) say far more eloquently than I ever could - sin refuses to be managed. We simply cannot handle, manage, or cope with sin.

When sin is inflamed, it triggers shame. Eve moved from trusting God to testing her limits, and ended up with a heap of shame. More on shame and its nasty effects on a person's spirit in the days ahead.

Recommended reading: Acts 25-28

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 3 - Temptation

Scripture focus: The serpent told the Woman, "You won't die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you'll see what's really going on. You'll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil." When the Woman saw that the tree looked like good eating and realized what she would get out of it-she'd know everything!-she took and ate the fruit and then gave some to her husband, and he ate. Genesis 3:4-6 (The Message)

So what is it that got Eve in trouble? Could it be that she was tempted by knowledge ("she'd know everything")? Maybe. Did she suffer from a case of God-envy - wanting in on all the stuff that God knew? Is knowledge power and was Eve on a mission to increase her power potential? If so, what was her desired outcome? She and Adam already were CEO's of their large and fruitful organization (God blessed them: "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth." (Genesis 1:28)) called planet earth. Each evening God showed up and strolled through the garden with them. He didn't abandon nor forsake them, leaving them to their own devices and in so doing, accidentally trigger self-esteem issues and fear of failure. In fact, up to this point in the story it appears as if Adam and Eve have the perfect life.

In summary, Eve and Adam her co-conspirator, are without excuse.

They don't have absentee or angry parents to blame for their misdeed.

They haven't experienced a world where God seems distant and unavailable.

But something triggered their self-destruct button. What was it?

And given that information, what causes us to self-destruct?

This is really, really important. Because for far too long we might have been looking under the wrong rocks to uncover the nature of our "problems" and find a "solution."

The human condition unites us. Eve is one of us. Her story can instruct ours. When Eve spoke to the principle rather than her trust relationship with God, she opened the door to making a choice independent of her love relationship with God. In that moment, she abandoned her commitment to loving and trusting God, and instead, entered into a contractual relationship determined by rules, rights and responsibilities. The moment we begin to care more about what we know or do than who we love, the second we become distrustful of another's love for us, we will move to betrayal. At the heart of this issue is Eve's betrayal of her love relationship with God. She betrayed his trust.

May God provide each of us with new and profound insights into the nature of betrayal - because betrayal is Eve's issue - not a propensity to eat the wrong kind of fruit.


Recommended reading: Acts 21-24

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 2 - What God Allegedly Said

Scripture focus: The Woman said to the serpent, "Not at all. We can eat from the trees in the garden. It's only about the tree in the middle of the garden that God said, 'Don't eat from it; don't even touch it or you'll die.'" Genesis 3:2-3 (The Message)

As Eve responds to the serpent's question, notice several crucial points:

1. It appears that Eve added to God's message when she says "don't even touch it." If you read Genesis 2:17, it says, "You can eat from any tree in the garden, except from the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil. Don't eat from it. The moment you eat from that tree, you're dead." Is this significant? I don't know. But I have observed in myself a tendency to try to use borders and fences to coral my wayward heart. For example, dieting gurus tell us to keep junk food out of our homes in order to maintain our sincere commitment to healthy eating. That's a fence. I've heard sponsors recommend that alcoholics stop visiting their favorite "watering holes" in order to avoid temptation. Studies in brain activity indicate that if we even see a "using buddy" our brain lights up like a Roman candle in the exact same spot that it lights up when we use (therefore they conclude that it's a good idea to avoid using buddies too). I understand the excellent advice; I even follow it – most days. But avoidance isn't the cure, merely a recommended part of any good recovery program. Avoidance alone has never cured one's compulsion to use a cheap substitute to fill us with what we so desperately lack. I wonder if Eve, in a sincere attempt to follow God's instruction, put up the "don't touch" boundary as a way to protect herself from her own desires and inclinations.

2. Notice that Eve was not confused about God's instructions. She said the right thing; she knew the principle. The problem was that she proceeded to live the wrong life; knowing and saying the right things doesn't necessarily translate into making wise choices.

3. Finally, study Eve's response. In answering the serpent, she spoke about principles and guidelines, not relationship. She referenced God's instructions, but was not led by her heart. Why did she feel the need to speak to the serpent about what God did or did not say? It sounds like Eve felt the need to defend God (did she wonder if God needed defending because she doubted his love and ability to protect her?).

What would have been different about this conversation if Eve were guided by trust rather than triggers? She might have said to the serpent, "Hey, you've really got me thinking. I wonder exactly why God gave me this principle to live by. Tonight, when we're walking in the garden, I'll talk to God about this and get back to you." I'm a big fan of education. I love learning new things and I appreciate how this information can be useful in helping me make wise choices. But knowledge is not a panacea to what ails us, nor is it a substitute for a trusting love relationship. So the next important question is this: what ails us?

Recommended reading: Acts 17-20

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

June 1 - Not rules, principles, guidelines, or good intentions

Scripture focus: The serpent was clever, more clever than any wild animal God had made. He spoke to the Woman: "Do I understand that God told you not to eat from any tree in the garden?" Genesis 3:1 (The Message)

Most people have heard the sordid tale of Adam and Eve, particularly in reference to their nasty fruit tasting incident. Who could have predicted that fruit could be so bad for us?

Actually, I don't think fruit is the problem.

This month, we're going to think about the root of the problem. We're going to study the first incident that I personally think gives each of us a clue about our own "sin problems" – i.e., our inability to stop bad behaving, even when we sincerely have good intentions.

For today, think and ponder and pray for insight about the serpent's question. What's he implying? What did Eve hear – both spoken and unspoken – that ultimately triggered an event so cataclysmic that she got Adam and herself booted from the Garden of Eden?

If fruit tasting wasn't the root of the problem, what was?

Recommended reading: Acts 14-16

Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

May 31 - Groan and grow

Scripture focus: The Holy Spirit and our spirit together bear witness that we are children of God. And if we are children we are heirs as well: heirs of God and coheirs with Christ, sharing his sufferings so as to share his glory. What we experience in this life can never be compared to the unrevealed splendor that is waiting for us. The whole creation, which was made unfulfilled by God, is waiting with eager longing, hoping to be freed. From the beginning till now all creation has been groaning in one great act of giving birth; and we too, who possess the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait to be set free. Romans 8:16-22

I don't know all the ins and outs of how to acquire a transformed life.

But God does.

For this day, I am choosing to let that be enough information to order my day around.

Recommended reading: Acts 11 - 13

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

May 30 - More on loving longing

Scripture focus: My heart is breaking with the longing that it has for Your ordinances and judgments at all times. Psalm 119:20 (Amplified Bible)

"To claim our rightful place in destiny, we must not only accept and claim the sweetly painful incompleteness within ourselves, but also affirm it with all our hearts. Somehow we must come to fall in love with it." Addiction and Grace, p. 180.

Two thoughts:

1. If we can accept yearning and longing as a state of being that is neither pathological, abnormal or fatal then we can stop wasting time trying to make pain relief our highest value.
   
   
2. If we can accept yearning and longing as a state of being in not only ourselves but others, we can free ourselves from codependency. We can accept the truth that we can never take care of all that another lacks.

Once we accept longing as a way of life, we can free ourselves to pursue loftier life goals than simply feeling good.

Recommended reading: Acts 8 - 10

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community