August 15 

Scripture focus: Dear, dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively! 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 (The Message)

When the serpent asked Eve about the tasty-looking-but-forbidden-fruit tree, Eve had an interesting response. I hope I'm not making too much of this, but if you look at what God said to Eve in Genesis two and what she reports he said in Genesis three, it appears as if she added the statement about "don't touch it." I wonder if Eve was adding an extra boundary for herself, sort of a hedge of protection against temptation. Sometimes when we fear our own ability to know and do God's good, pleasing and perfect will, we humans add extra "boundaries." This rarely works. Living life by rules hasn't really proven to be a successful life plan for most of us.

Boundaries were never intended to be fortresses or moats. We all know the dangers of living life without limits. Proverbs 25:28 says "a person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out."

If we live as if God wants us kept in a small box, something is wrong. Boundaries are not limits to our liberty, they are guides that help us not get caught and brought back into captivity! 

Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. Galatians 5:1 (The Message)

May we experience the wide-open, spacious life God has planned for each of us today!

Recommended reading: 1 Kings 19-22

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© Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

August 14

Scripture focus: The Life-Light was the real thing: every person entering Life he brings into Light. He was in the world, the world was there through him, and yet the world didn't even notice. He came to his own people, but they didn't want him. But whoever did want him, who believed he was who he claimed and would do what he said, He made to be their true selves, their child-of-God selves. These are the God-begotten, not blood-begotten, not flesh-begotten, not sex-begotten. John 1:9-13 (The Message)

As a young adult, I was more defined by my hurts, habits and hang-ups than my true, God-begotten self. In fairness to myself, I didn't realize that there was a true, God-begotten self within me. When this information was presented to me, I thought I had hit the big money jackpot. This wasn't just good news, it was awesome news. As a shame-inflamed, terminally unique feeling person who finds out there was more to me than my limitations was a huge deal.

But I struggled with some preconceived and definitely false notions about what it would mean to ask God to take care and control of my life. I feared it would mean that I would have to stop wearing make-up. Maybe if I drank the "kool-aid," I'd have to stop using my brain. What if God asked me to sell all my possessions and send the proceeds to poor hungry children in third world countries (not that there's anything wrong with that!)? I feared that it might mean that I'd have to learn how to love only Christian music and burn my Grateful Dead collection. Suffice it to say, I had a lot of crazy ideas about what it meant to become a Christian that made me question whether I really wanted to go all out in this believing in Jesus or just stand beside the pool hoping he'd come to me.

As I investigated – and this took quite awhile - I gradually began to catch glimpses of my true, God-created self. Hard knocks and heartbreak as well as moments of great joy mixed in with some life experience taught me that God's boundaries were far more liberating than limiting. I don't know how or when it happened, but I began to see that following God was not a troublesome task, but an epic adventure.

Every person who believes that Jesus is, in fact, the Messiah, is God-begotten. If we love the One who conceives the child, we'll surely love the child who was conceived. The reality test on whether or not we love God's children is this: Do we love God? Do we keep his commands? The proof that we love God comes when we keep his commandments and they are not at all troublesome. 1 John 5:1-3 (The Message)

Healthy boundaries help us keep God's commands and allow us to discover true freedom in the process.

Recommended reading: 1 Kings 16-18

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August 13

Scripture focus: Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you. Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father. That's my gift to the conquerors! Revelation 3:20-21

My feisty family of origin predisposed me to love the image of Princess Warrior – especially the warrior part! I love the idea of being part of something larger than myself and having a mission that I am passionately pursuing. Admittedly, I kind of like the image of having a place at the table of honor too.

But being a conqueror is not always the same thing as being a winner. Sometimes we lose battles and fear losing the war. When things go wrong, without our healthy boundaries intact to keep our mind sharp and emotions, attitudes and behaviors in alignment with our true, God-created identity and beliefs – we might get distracted and find ourselves in need of an attitude adjustment. Lack of healthy boundaries in our relationships and work life will result in problems that may manifest themselves at the first sign of trouble – i.e., feeling like things aren't going our way or – heaven forbid – at the suggestion that we might be a failure!

Here are some ways that we might reveal a bad attitude:

• When we blame others for a problem rather than focusing on taking the next right step toward a solution
• When we make excuses for our procrastination and incompetencies rather than accepting personal responsibility for our part in the mess and eagerly seeking to learn from our mistakes
• When we avoid admitting and acknowledging a problem
• When we minimize a conflict rather than seek reconciliation
• When we rationalize a reason for a problem or "label" someone without taking appropriate actions to resolve the issue...all of these are symptoms of the kinds of attitudes people with bad boundaries might display.

Jesus stands at the door and knocks. Even the Son of God waits respectfully at the door, allowing us the opportunity to choose whether we will open it or not. Learning how to live and love with healthy boundaries is one of the ways we let him into our lives.

Recommended reading: 1 Kings 13-15

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August 12

Scripture focus: God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them
reflecting our nature
So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea,
the birds in the air, the cattle,
And, yes, Earth itself,
and every animal that moves on the face of Earth."
God created human beings;
he created them godlike,
Reflecting God's nature.
He created them male and female.
God blessed them:
"Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air,
for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth." Genesis 1:26-28 (The Message)

God designed us to take responsibility for our lives – both relational and purposeful. When we fail to set limits and boundaries, we end up with all sorts of signs and symptoms (that are not the issue – the issue is boundary boo-boos).

Drs. Cloud and Townsend have provided some symptoms that plague people who don't know how to properly use boundaries. These are warning signs that we've confused taking responsibility for and to. Here are some of their suggested signs that we might have boundary issues: depression, resentment, rage or anger, obsessive and compulsive behaviors, a vague sense of loss of both freedom and love, procrastination as a lifestyle, extreme disorganization, low energy level, problems concentrating, feeling overwhelmed, physical ailments like high blood pressure, allergies, obesity, ulcers, fatigue and headaches, self-pity, feeling left out, envy, addictions, chronic worrying, and crying spells!

That's quite the list.

Bottom line: if we don't figure out what we are responsible for and distinguish that from who we are responsible to we're going to be in big trouble. Clearly, we will be unfit for God's grand epic adventures.

Recommended reading: 1 Kings 10-12

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August 11

Scripture focus: Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. Matthew 7:6 (NIV)

I crack myself up when I think back to the day when I spent so much time taking responsibility for things that God never, ever intended for me to shoulder. For years I lived under the impression that if Jesus said, and he did, that the truth will set you free, then it must be my job to tell everyone the truth. Unfortunately, this is quite the distorted application of the text – and pretty arrogant too!

Jesus taught some other important principles that help clarify the issue of responsibility. He told us not to give pearls to pigs. In Proverbs we're told that if we rebuke a scoffer, we might end up dead. Before you think I've abandoned bad boundaries for judgmental thinking – hear me out.

Although it is not my place to judge another person in any area, I have been given responsibility for becoming a person who possesses discernment. We have, after all, been told we can have the mind of Christ; we can know God's will; we can have our minds renewed. So I know it's not my job to decide if a person is a pig or a prince(ss). But I do have a job.

Here's what I can do:

• Take responsibility for learning what is sacred and what is not – for myself. I have responsibility to intentionally seek to know God. How that knowledge will be used in the future isn't my problem. My work is to acquire it.
• I have a responsibility to my fellow man to aid in his/her restoration process (Galatians 6:1-4) if I am a spiritual being (and anyone who has turned their life over to God's care and control has the capacity to become a spiritual being).

Save time and energy, learn from my goofy ways: running around spouting "truth" (assuming we know what that is) has never helped a person steeped in shame. It just sends us scurrying for cover. Healthy boundaries instruct us in the proper handling of the truth.

May God reveal a timely word of truth to each of us today.

Recommended reading: 1 Kings 7-9

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August 10

Scripture focus: Be very sure now, you who have been trained to a self-sufficient maturity, that you enter into a generous common life with those who have trained you, sharing all the good things that you have and experience. Don't be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he'll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life. So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith. Galatians 6:6-10 (The Message)

When we learn how to appropriately use healthy boundaries to receive good and reject bad, we will find ourselves taking responsibility for ourselves. Does this sound selfish? It's not. If we've grown up without healthy boundaries, this advice may feel counter-intuitive. Sort of like the first time I flew on a plane with my children. I was appalled that the stewardess would suggest that I put my oxygen mask on before I put them on my children. Upon reflection, I began to see the wisdom of her advice. After all, if I weren't able to be strong and able to assist my children out of the plane, those little masks probably wouldn't provide all the support they would need in an emergency.

In the same way, God provides plenty of words of encouragement, teaching us principles that will help us not get too fatigued in doing good. He's not suggesting that we become selfish people; he's demonstrating how we might experience the abundant life without precipitously burning out halfway through our mission.

Recommended reading: 1 Kings 4-6

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August 9

Scripture focus: Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. Galatians 6:5 (The Message)

I love to study people; I find the human race utterly fascinating.

In my studies, I'm amazed at the peculiar way we humans de-value our natural strengths and talents. Time and again I've watched how we admire the strengths that we observe in others but don't possess – giving them great accolades for their amazing abilities – while taking our own strengths for granted, even minimizing them as "no big deal."

I have a friend who regularly whips up dinner for large numbers of people. She thinks this is normal and natural. Her food is always delicious, homemade and exquisitely presented – and according to the Food Network, all this is very crucial for the enjoyment of the guest. I can feed lots of people too. But I do it by helping the economy flourish – I utilize bakeries and fast food chains, takeout restaurants – whatever it takes to feed my guests. I'm more of a food deliverer than a "hostess with the most-est."

I happen to have musically inclined children. If I try to sing, people ease away from me or put in ear plugs. My kids think perfect pitch and maintaining a regular rhythm and even learning how to play various musical instruments is something anyone can and should do – they simply don't understand that this isn't about me not wanting to play or sing. I simply can't do it.

Maybe that's why Paul reminds us that while we're learning how to take responsibility for ourselves, it will be best if we don't waste time comparing ourselves to each other.

God has a prevailing purpose in mind when he gives my friend the gift of amazing hospitality. God places different gifts and talents in individuals. As a community, we join together and leverage our various strengths to accomplish more than any single individual could ever manage in isolation. To the extent that we can identify and affirm these strengths, that's awesome. But if we find ourselves minimizing our own strengths and envying those given to another – we're probably off track and in need of a tune up.

The only person responsible for discovering and nurturing the strengths and abilities God placed within you is – you. We'd better get busy!

Recommended reading: 1 Kings 1-3

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