NorthStar Community Daily Devotional: August 2008

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 244 – Month of August at a glance

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time:

· Repetitive, loveless, cheap sex
· A stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage
· Frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness
· Trinket gods
· Magic-show religion
· Paranoid loneliness
· Cutthroat competition
· All-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants
· A brutal temper
· An impotence to love or be loved
· Divided homes and divided lives
· Small-minded and lopsided pursuits
· The vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival
· Uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions
· Ugly parodies of community
· I could go on. Galatians 5:19-21 The Message

We spent the month of August talking about, among other things, a life filled with the passion for self. The next verse proves filled with warning: This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom. Galatians 5:21(b) The Message

I can’t leave us like this – mired in the muck of self-focused living and its inevitable disappointments. Listen as Paul continues…But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard – things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. Galatians 5:22,23 The Message

More on the good life next month!

Recommended reading: Job 337-39 in the morning; In the evening 1 Corinthians 3, 4

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 243 – Ugly parodies of community

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …ugly parodies of community… Galatians 5:19,21 The Message

Before we jump to all sorts of opinions about what an ugly community is, let’s look at the Greek word “komoi.” This word describes a person who can’t bear the thought of boredom and is therefore continually seeking different forms of amusement or entertainment. It describes someone who is antsy if they don’t have their next fun adventure to dream about, plan for and then participate in. In the King James Bible, this word is translated “revelings.”

Last week we went on a family vacation. We had a ton of fun. We played and were entertained and sought various forms of amusement. We definitely did not revel. One thing we particularly love to do is gather together in the evening for game night. During the day, small groups of like-minded McBeans pursue pleasure as they define it. Pete and his brothers and some of their sons hit the golf course. Now, it’s hard listening to the stories about their day – lost balls, hitting people’s homes with errant shots (while they’re sitting on their porch), slices, hooks, bad putting, picky marshals, extreme heat and mega-size gnats – to see the fun in all this. But it’s tradition. And they like it. Others of us play tennis, read, workout, eat, shop, or whatever. But at night, we band together for game night.

One night we didn’t have many game night participants. And my niece noticed. She said, “Hey, don’t the rest of you guys love this tradition as much as I do?” My niece is not reveling. She’s building community. She isn’t sitting at that table in hopes of winning at Pit or Cranium or Trivial Pursuit or even Apples to Apples. She wants to sit around the table, and for one night, have this part of her family all together, enjoying each other’s company.

Community should be a place of fun and amusement and delight – but there’s no place in healthy community for revelry. Revelry is about trying to get the mid-brain (the pleasure center of our brain) to fire up and sparkle like the fourth of July. It’s about distracting ourselves from other, more painful thoughts and memories. It’s about survival rather than savoring. Revelry is just another form of addiction - an obvious and fruitless attempt to get our own way all the time.

The following evening the game table was once again restored to full participation. It will forever reside in my brain and heart as one of my fondest memories. This part of family lives far away. The kids are grown up and had to set busy lives aside so that we could join each other at this table of silly fun. I hope they thought it was worth it – I know that for me, it was a great gift of love and community. Cara’s got it right – we all love game night. It’s not only tradition - it’s an expression of love and connection and community – the good life. May you find the good life God has promised you!

Recommended reading: Job 33 and 34 in the morning; Job 35 an 36 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 242 - Addictions

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions… Galatians 5:19,21 The Message

The Greek word methe means to drink for the sake of intoxication. The religion of Bacchos centered around methe. Once the worshipers were completely tanked, they threw off all restraints and yielded to every temptation. Nothing was off limits. In fact, their goal was to breach every moral code. Often drugs were mixed with the wine. When Christianity came on the scene, Paul obviously had concerns about the cultural context of worship. The people were adjusted to thinking about worship as a frenzied act of feel good emotion. (Can I digress? What would a marketing team do with this situation today? Can you imagine them sitting around a table, thinking: how can we get people, used to drunken orgies and riotous acts of self-indulgence to come to believe in a faith that says things like, “In order to gain your life you must lose it.”? Or how about, “Love your enemies. Do good to those who persecute you. Lay down your life for a friend.”)

Funny, isn’t it, how much the times don’t change? We too live in a culture that touts the proposition that life is meant to be lived by reaching out and grabbing what suits you. Everywhere we turn we hear about our ability to achieve whatever dreams we dare to dream. We’re encouraged to empower ourselves. People tell us that the best thing we can do for those we love is to make ourselves happy. Pursue our dreams, and then we’ll be able to return to our families fulfilled and fit for love.

I actually agree with some of that stuff. I believe we do need to take care of ourselves and certainly pursue dreams. But here’s where I think we have to be careful: all that daring to dream and empowerment and fulfillment cannot come at the expense of others. It can’t leave us so stressed out or so over dosed on pleasure seeking that we overwhelm our pleasure centers – and end up addicted. (If this is confusing to you, we have a whole series of messages on our website that might help unravel your confusion. See www.northstarcommunity.com.)

It concerns me that it is so easy for us to slip into a life style of self-seeking, even as we pursue a life of faith. Paul is offering a warning to us that we must heed. Be careful where we step, and how we define the good life. We need to seek wisdom and discernment in all our pursuits – including our spiritual ones! I stumbled across a verse in my devotions this morning that Paul wrote to the Corinthians. Obviously, they were fussing among themselves about how devoted followers should behave. Here’s his response: The question keeps coming up regarding meat that has been offered up to an idol; Should you attend meals where such meat is served, or not? We sometimes tend to think we know all we need to know to answer these kinds of questions – but sometimes our humble hearts can help us more than our proud minds. We never really know enough until we recognize that God alone knows it all. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 The Message

Those folks who went to worship and got all liquored up were on a search for the same thing we are – a satisfying life. We live in a world where we can go out and find support for almost anything we want to believe. All I can say is - be careful. We need to be wise. We need to count ourselves lucky that God says that if we follow him, he’ll provide all that we need to know and do to live a fulfilling life!

Recommended reading: Job 31 and 32 in the morning; 2 Corinthians 1 and 2 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 241 – The need to be against

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival… Galatians 5:19-21 The Message

Someone once told me that addiction took lots of forms, but all addicts had one thing in common – the need to be against. Well, if that’s the case, then I suspect we’re all addicts! At some point, all of us have the urge to oppose. Some days we just want to be pouty and contrary. On those days we find ourselves with the strong and burning desire to be against. The object of our opposition isn’t nearly as important as our desire to defy. I’m not sure whether we can say this is a trait of all the addicted, but I’m pretty confident that it is part of being human.

In Galatians, Paul says this is the manifestation of envy. The Greek word phthonos – meaning a hostile feeling toward someone because that person has something – an advantage, a benefit, a position – that the other does not possess but would like to have. There’s more. This word implies a deeply felt grudge because someone possesses what a person wishes was his own. If we study this verse in the King James Version, we see “envying” and think – ok, that’s phthonos. But keep looking. It’s followed by the word “murders” – and guess what? There’s no corresponding Greek word to go with that word. According to Rick Renner (July 19th in Sparkling Gems from the Greek), he thinks it is because it took two English words to communicate strongly enough the dangers of phthonos.

I love Peterson’s translation…the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival. I have another way of thinking about it. As I have walked my recovery road, I realized that I had a nasty habit of devaluing others – depersonalizing everyone into a rival. I didn’t realize I did this for a long, long time. But with the progressive revelation that comes with years of plodding along in the Christ-centered 12 steps, one day I was given the gift of this insight. As God had his way with me, I was astounded to realize that any time I devalued another; it was usually caused by phthonos.

If we can convince ourselves that another person is the enemy, it is perfectly natural to critique and criticize. We can fancy up the language and excuse our behavior all we want. But critiquing, criticizing, gossiping, discussing and dissecting another person is phthonos. And it makes the list of Paul’s obvious signs that a person is living a life that develops out of trying to get their own way all the time.

Randy Pausch, presenter and author of The Last Lecture (both a lecture out on youtube.com and a best selling book by that same name), says that if you look long enough, people will surprise you – in a good way. I love the way Randy Pausch thinks! It’s easy to find a flock of birds who are willing to join us in phthonos – all we need is a common enemy. My challenge to myself (and you!) is that we take time to pause and prepare. Instead of finding a common enemy and doing the common thing – express our need to be against - perhaps we’d be better off to put on a pair of God-vision goggles and peer intently at a person until we can join with God, and have his vision for them. The ever-increasing glory potential God planted in each one of us can indeed be something we can rally around, encourage and support. And it’s far more satisfying than being the kind of person who has the need to be against.

Recommended reading: Job 27 and 28 in the morning; Job 29 and 30 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 240 - Cliques

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …small-minded and lopsided pursuits… Galatians 5:19-20 The Message

I read an article in the paper today that basically said, “Birds of a feather flock together.” The editorialist went on to discuss the merits of this supposition. Paul actually considers this kind of flocking an indicator of a person trying to get their own way all the time. I think he’s right. It’s easy to feel comfortable with our own personal perspectives when we don’t have anyone offering push back to our firmly held convictions. It’s more comfortable hanging out with people “like us,” isn’t it? All comfort aside – Paul puts it on his list of villainous works of independent living.

The word Paul uses to describe “cliquishness” is the Greek word hairesis. This word refers to a form of spiritual elitism, where a group of people adhere to the same doctrine and are exclusive, unwelcoming, and divisive. They’re the kind of people who ask, “Do you believe what I believe? If you do, then you can belong in my group. If not, forget it buster!” Consider a different perspective, one that is counter to a clique mentality. What if we asked this question, “Do you and I share a common objective? If so, let’s collaborate! If we’re passionate about the same things, even if we disagree on a point or two along the way, can’t we get together and learn from one another?” This frame of reference invites people to unite and belong, and then, in the safety of community, discuss what they’re “coming to believe.” Which way is easier? The first is obviously the easier choice. But who says desperately devoted followers of God need an easy button? God’s people have taken the road less traveled from the beginning. There’s a proverb that says, “As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another.” Very little sharpening is required if all those gathered always agree. No one rubs another the wrong way, or says something that challenges firmly held (and often misguided) beliefs.

Our NorthStar Community is a wild and crazy bunch of diverse people. We come in all sizes, shapes and colors. We come for a variety of reasons and stay when it doesn’t always make sense to do so. Some of us have named our higher power, and others still question whether there is one. A few of us have financial security and more of us aren’t quite sure where our next meal will come from. Trust me on this one – we all have lots of opinions about lots of different aspects of our community – and we can’t form much of a consensus on many of the topics of discussion. But here’s the deal – I believe with all my heart that this delights the Father. We’ve been collecting supplies for a treatment facility in our area and an argument broke out about this collection process. Some of the guys who attend our service didn’t want to wait to have the supplies distributed back at the facility – they wanted to take their share out of the collection basket. Heated discussion and some confusion resulted. I listened from afar as the men who were feeling cheated made their case, and I smiled with delight as compromise was reached. Those guys were listened to. They didn’t get agreement but they received loving attention. And even though we still had a celebration service to experience and I had a message to deliver – I had a sneaking suspicion that the work of God had already been accomplished on this day. No cliques formed. No one got bogged down in who was right and who was wrong. Instead, they paused to prepare. They considered the question: what would it look like to act in love – with kindness and dignity and respect – to all parties involved in this minor dispute. I sensed the angels dancing as they peaked over the precipice of eternity. It was a good day in the house of the Lord.

Recommended reading: Job 23 and 24 in the morning; Job 25 and 26 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 239 – Week 35 – A House Divided

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …divided homes and divided lives… Galatians 5:19-20 The Message

The word “seditions” is the King James translation for what Peterson calls “divided homes and divided lives.” This is a compound Greek word dichostasia, which means “to stand apart, as one who rebels and steps away from someone to whom he should have been loyal.” In some cases and in some families – the healthy response to bad behaving is to step away from the relationship and gain some much needed perspective. In recovery lingo, this is often called detachment. Let’s not get confused – this is not the equivalent of a form of end stage codependency called withdrawal.

This concept is very discombobulating for the recovery community. Parents of addicted children, spouses of the addicted, siblings, friends and co-workers often feel disloyal when they have to break ties with someone who they appreciate, love and even respect – when they are not impaired. People who study addictive family systems report that it is normal for families and friends to rally around the addicted, and spend a great deal of energy in an attempt to stop the “dividing” spiral. Counselors, treatment professionals, and even support groups often offer up a word of encouragement – detach. And on a good night, they offer up three words – detach with love. But to the hurting family this FEELS like dividing the community.

Hear me on this. The family and/or community is divided the moment one member of the community begins to love a “thing” more than people. A family and/or community is divided when one person is given more attention and less accountability than the other members of that community. Folks, that’s when the division takes place. Detaching with love is acknowledging the division – not initiating the process.

I have a friend who feels deeply convicted about his decision to divorce his wife. He feels as if he is dividing his home. He still struggles to understand that his wife’s abusive nature, uncontrolled fits of rage and bullying divided them years and years ago. I’d love for this family to experience restoration and healing. But for that to happen, everyone would have to get brutally honest about what really caused the split. It wasn’t a visit to an attorney – it was the perpetual stepping away from someone, someone to whom loyalty should have been granted.

I hate to say this, but sometimes we are all guilty of not seeing our part in the dividing process. So let’s pray for each other today, and encourage each other – to stop the cycle of blame, shame and guilt. Instead, we can ask ourselves a better question: what is my part and what should I do next? Remember. Others do not owe us kind treatment. But as believers, we owe that to others. Detachment is an act of love – if done with kindness and dignity. It helps others learn that foul treatment of others is unacceptable. It invites them to change. It protects us from those who prefer to divide than mend. And best of all – it actually encourages transformation. If I could give my newly divorced friends one word of advice for the future it would be this: when division happens in a relationship where loyalty should be a core value – deal with it swiftly; acknowledge it honestly; seek help immediately. Don’t wait years to end up in divorce, when perhaps, maybe, possibly - difficult but loving, kind, dignified and respectful confrontation could have set the tone for repentance.

Recommended reading: Job 19 and 20 in the morning; Job 21 and 22 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 238 – Week 34 at a glance

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved… Galatians 5:19-20 the Message

A long time ago I passionately pursued tennis. I bought the outfits and joined a team. I signed up for group tennis lessons at my community association. Eventually I took a few lessons from a tennis pro. All this effort – and I still can’t beat my husband at this game!

The tennis pro discovered a weakness in my game that surprised me. I wanted him to improve my serve and backhand. Instead, he told me I had a bigger problem than my ground strokes. He observed that I seemed to care more about running around my problems with my game (and there were many) than I was interested in walking through the pain of change. I wanted to pound the ball; he wanted to teach me how to get the thing over the net. I realized that I had found the perfect coach for me. He was right. I didn’t want to stand at the baseline for hours while he taught me the perfect place to hit the ball with my racket. I didn’t want to work on agility and speed drills. I didn’t want to commit to hitting two hundred serves a day. If he could give me game in a few weeks, great. If not, I didn’t want it bad enough to keep investing all this time and energy (and money). Soon, I was able to let go of my passionate pursuit of tennis. Instead, I play for fun. This was the right decision for me.

This week we’ve continued to explore the characteristics of a life driven by the need to get one’s own way all the time. This isn’t necessarily an uplifting topic. But I’m pressing on! Why? Because I’ve learned that walking through the pain of change in the way I live and love is worth the time and energy. I do need to identify the problem areas of my life before I can effectively seek a solution.

I have enough of a tennis game to give my boys a run for their money on the tennis court – and that’s good enough for me. But I am not satisfied with any obvious weakness in my love life. So if Paul’s list of signs and symptoms of lousy loving happen to hit a nerve in me, then I’m all over it. It’s not pleasant to think about, but it’s productive. Next week we’ll continue looking into this list – because our lives are worth the effort!

Recommended reading: Job 16 and 17 in the morning;: Job 18 and 1 Corinthians 16 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 237

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …an impotence to love or be loved… Galatians 5:19-20 the Message

An inability to love or be loved – strife – eritheia (Greek) – a self-seeking ambition that is more concerned about itself and the fulfillment of its own wants, desires, and pleasures than it is in meeting the same needs in others. (Sparkling Words From the Greek, July 18^th).

Our family once knew a little boy who grew up into a man who had an inability to love or be loved. It seemed to me that this wasn’t his fault. Outside observers saw him as pampered and coddled. Growing up in an affluent suburb, the kid seemed to have it all. He had game systems, cool shoes and fast cars. He seemed to be a person of privilege. Appearances can be deceiving. At home, he was regularly locked in a closet when his folks wanted to party. People forgot to feed him. Rarely did anyone remember to show up at school functions. As he got older, his parents included him in their adult social life. As a teenager, it was common knowledge that if you wanted to get your hands on drugs, this kid had access to anything one could want – through his mom. He had a fierce temper and a passion for attention but not much of a work ethic. He saw a lot of action at home that most kids only view in movies. I’m not much of a fan of game systems or shoes or cars as replacements for love and attention and hot meals. But what I find really disturbing is that this schizophrenic lifestyle of pampering paired with neglect did nothing to teach this child how to love and be loved.

Eventually, he learned. He learned that although his childhood wasn’t his fault – his future was his responsibility. He came to see that a life consumed with trying to get his own way all the time wasn’t a life worth living. So he changed his life.

It wasn’t easy. He sought counseling and joined support groups. He explored spirituality. He had to change his friends and detach from his family. He learned about the amends process – and then actually made some. He figured out that living off his folks was convenient but not conducive to building a big heart.

Today he’s a guy who still struggles with what it means to love God and others. It’s been particularly challenging to figure out how to respect himself. For those of us who know and love him – I can only report that he’s a guy who no longer needs a party or pity to make it through the day. He works hard. He’s a work in progress. And it’s obvious to all of us, and I hope to him – that a bad beginning isn’t enough to keep God’s prevailing purposes from prevailing. May God’s purposes prevail in your life today.

Recommended reading: Job 11 and 12 in the morning; Job 13 and 14 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 236 – Fireworks of fury

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …a brutal temper… Galatians 5:19-20 the Message

Wrath – a brutal temper – thumos (Greek) – a person literally boiling with anger. Commentators have suggested that this is the kind of anger that stems from poor problem solving strategies. It’s the result of shoving down unresolved issues without confronting them. Eventually all that anger builds and erupts – thumos is the result.

For many years, my husband worked from home. When he had conference calls, he’d use the speaker phone feature. He’s worked with the same guys for a million years; they don’t seem to hesitate to share their strongly held and occasionally conflicting opinions. Listening to them “discuss” a situation at length and with great vigor – I’d sometimes find myself reacting with anxiety. Later, I’d ask him about the call. Usually he wouldn’t even remember the conversation as being particularly conflicted. He certainly never reported that he felt angry. Another time he was having trouble with his computer. He called the help line. No joke – these guys kept him on hold the entire day, shifting him from one unhelpful help desk associate to another equally clueless helper. The longer this dragged out, the madder Pete appeared. Sometimes he’d be on hold for 45 minutes or so. During that time he’d call out to me, “Can you believe this?”, and other such things that I can’t repeat. At the end of the day, the help line was of no help, he had wasted a day on the phone, and he was experiencing wrath. Finally, I heard him exclaim – in a very controlled and a bit sarcastic tone, “Thank you very much for being absolutely no help at all!” And he hung up. The children and I had grown interested in this proceeding, so we were all standing at the door as he delivered his snappy comeback to the anonymous helper. We all fell on the floor in hysterics.

“Boy, Dad, that really got ‘em good. That guy won’t be able to sleep tonight! You put him in his place!”

“That’s it? You’re furious and have been kept on the phone all day – and that’s the worst thing you can think to say to the guy?” We still tease him about the time he blew his top by thanking a guy for poor service. The truth is, Pete just isn’t that great with wrath. (He used to be a lot better at it when we were younger. But that’s his story to tell!) Here’s why I think Pete is so bad at the wrath thing.

· When something bothers him, he gets it off his chest immediately. He doesn’t mind mixing it up and expressing his opinion. Even though he’s pretty introverted, he has learned that it’s best to get all the opinions – even the dissenting ones – out on the table. That avoids a nasty build up of anger that could erupt into thumos.

· If a situation does present itself where he isn’t able to appropriately handle conflict (like talking to a stranger on the phone who doesn’t really understand the nuances of the English language and can’t help you solve a problem you’re paying them to solve)– and the anger builds – thumos isn’t but so explosive – because the storehouse is small.

Dealing with each frustration as it arises prevents a nasty internal build up of anger and resentment. Even when our tempers flare they’re more like a sparkler than a bottle rocket. If we regularly shoot off fireworks of fury, it’s clearly obvious that we’ve got some work to do. No worries. At least Paul has given us a clue about where to start working!

Recommended reading: Job 8 and 9 in the morning; Job 10 and 1 Corinthians 15 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 235 – All-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants… Galatians 5:19 and 20 The Message

The NIV calls this desire jealousy; the King James translation uses a word that proves why we need more modern translations if we want to understand scripture – emulations. The Greek word, zelos, has a variety of meanings, including: passion, fervor, enthusiasm, envious, resentful, a person upset because someone else achieved more, irritated, infuriated, irate, annoyed, provoked, and fuming. (I could go on, but you get this one, right?)

Acts 7:9 says, “moved with envy” to describe the feeling that compelled Joseph’s brothers to sell him into slavery. You’ll remember that Joseph was one of many sons, favored by his father, destined for greatness – and given a very cool coat. This emotion was so strong that the boys felt compelled to act on their passionate resentment toward Joseph.

If ever there was an obvious indicator that something is “not quite right” in our lives – it’s the feeling of jealousy. Most of us can recognize this feeling and know it’s not attractive. But we also know the compulsion of the feeling. Just because we know our envy isn’t good for us does not free us from its power.

Instead of berating ourselves over our all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants, we need to allow our “zelos” to get our attention without giving it permission to run our lives. The solution will not be discovered by berating ourselves about our pettiness. Demanding that we stop feeling this way won’t calm the storm within.

Maybe a good first step would be acknowledgement. When we find ourselves overcome with resentment, we could offer up a prayer – “I’m feeling really resentful, jealous, and envious. This is an obvious sign that I’m under the influence of trying to get my own way. This belief that I have that someone else has what I deserve is not going to ultimately prove helpful to me or healthy for me. God, show me the way. Help me understand what’s really going on with my own unquenchable desire to have my own way. The issue here isn’t the issue – it’s not about this other person and what they have. This is about me and the kind of life that is developing as a result of what I’m thinking, believing, feeling and acting on. Help me.” And he will. God rescues those who cry out to him for help.

If we want the good life, we’re going to have to eliminate our desire for shortcuts and handouts. This will take a big heart.

Recommended reading: Job 4 and 5 in the morning; Job 6 and 7 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 234 – Cutthroat competition

Scripture focus: It’s obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …cutthroat competition… Galatians 5:19 and 20 The Message

The Greek word for cutthroat competition is “eris” – used to describe political parties that have different platforms or agendas. Newer translations of the New Testament translate it a “party spirit”. During an election year, this word needs little explanation. Politics is ugly business. Renner (Sparkling Gems From the Greek, July 17th) says it like this, “a bitterly mean spirit that is so consumed with its own self-interests and self-ambitions that it would rather split and divide than to admit it is wrong or give an inch to an opponent”.

If politics is ugly, then family politics is brutal. Most of us are either personally affected or have known others who have become so divided as a family that divorce became the only option. This is such a tragedy. Divorce is often blamed on “the other woman/man” or “growing apart” or “falling out of love” or “incompatibility” – but it seems to me that cutthroat competition always plays a part in the disintegration of a family.

No one starts out intending to be bitterly mean. I’d love to have a nickel for every person who has told me that they hope their divorce will be amicable. So hear my heart on this, I don’t think divorce is reserved for the bitter and mean – it regularly happens to good, kind, loving, sincere people. I’m also not taking sides. I don’t think divorce happens when one bitter and mean spirited person gets hitched to a good, kind, loving and sincere mate. I absolutely believe that oftentimes divorce happens to two good, kind, loving, sincere and well-intentioned people.

So what gives? Anytime we focus on our self-interests and ambitions – things can get ugly. It does something to the spirit to have to focus more on self than others. And divorce, by its very nature, is the tearing away of two who became three (husband/wife/couple) in an attempt to restore them back into two again. This is painful. And it changes people.

In an effort to avoid all that, it would be absolutely awesome if we could come together and try to figure out how to live on a daily basis without cutthroat competition. Getting our way all the time isn’t good for us! Learning how to humble one’s self to the marriage is not only essential if we want to avoid divorce – it’s actually a great place to learn how to live the kind of life God dreams about for us.

Ideally, a wife pays close attention to her husband – partnering in facilitating his well-being and good living. The husband does the same. If one spouse can trust that the other is always looking out for their best interest, it frees them from the need for self-protection and competition. If one spouse is selfish, it’s hard to implement this plan without someone getting hurt.

These same principles apply in all areas of our life. We must learn how to live with others without cutthroat competition. It’s going to take a big heart to learn how to do this one!

Recommended reading: Job 1 and 2 in the morning; Job 3 and 1 Corinthians 14 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 233 – Roadblock

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …paranoid loneliness… Galatians 5:19 and 20 The Message

Echtra – Greek word that Peterson translates as “paranoid loneliness”, meaning intense hostility towards others; often used to refer to enemies in a military conflict; it could refer to a personal enemy or people who can’t get along with each other.

It is obvious that God created us for community. When we can’t get along with people, there’s no way we can experience the full and abundant life God intends for us. It simply can’t happen. John Donne said, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.” And that’s true – especially if we’re in search of grand epic adventures and our true God-created identity.

When we don’t learn how to live well with others, it’s easier to blame them than accept responsibility for our own shortcomings. And face it, people give us plenty of reason to cast stones. People don’t treat us well. If we’re not paying attention, we’ll get obsessed with their bad treatment and miss our own bad behaving.

Soon, we’re in a vicious cycle of messy and unsatisfactory relationships. I love how Peterson chose the two words “paranoid loneliness” rather than the more obvious translation of “hatred” – because although hatred may be what this kind of lousy loving feels like, it doesn’t really capture the essence of the problem.

Lousy loving on anyone’s part can result in loneliness, and eventually paranoia. A few bad experiences are enough to drive us to islands of isolation. And although a fantasy of tropical island living may tickle our fancy, it’s highly unlikely that it is the location of our big dreams. (Although I’m perfectly willing to be convinced otherwise.)

So here’s what I suggest:

· Stop expecting others to treat us well – because that’s not the way life works.
· Learn appropriate responses to poor treatment – and respond accordingly.
· As we respond more appropriately to mistreatment, the incidences of mistreatment should dramatically drop – because we’ll stop hanging out with lousy lovers.
· It’s crucial that we focus our attention on treating others well. We must learn how to treat others with respect and dignity, kindness and grace. We don’t have time to be worrying ourselves with their misdeeds (except to use them as learning experiences).
· If we learn how to treat others well, people who also have this same ability will want to hang out with us. And we’ll end up with new and better friends than those lousy lovers we used to pal around with.

Even though we can’t expect others to treat us well all the time, we don’t have to end up paranoid and lonely. We can learn how to love well, and recognize others who do the same. May you find a community that brings out the best in you, as you do the same for others!

Recommended reading: Esther 8 and 9 in the morning; Esther 10 and 1 Corinthians 13 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 232 – Week 34 - Magic

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time:…magic-show religion…Galatians 5:19 and 20 The Message

Peterson’s translation of this phrase is exceedingly interesting! In both the NIV and King James Version – this word is translated “witchcraft”. The Greek word used is pharmakeia – meaning medicines or drugs that inhibit a person’s personality or change his behavior.

According to Rick Renner, in his book Sparkling Gems From the Greek, July 16th study, we need some historical context to understand this text. Before Jesus came on the scene, paganism was the ruling religion of the Roman Empire. One of the common features of their religious rituals was the use of mind-altering drugs. Worshipers gathered in pagan temples in search of relief from their suffering. The priests would give them a mix of drugs and wine, sending them home with the hope that tomorrow would be better. Of course, it was not. But those visitors would return – again and again – because the concoction gave them respite for awhile. (Sound familiar?)

Paul suggests that one obvious kind of life that develops out of trying to get our own way all the time is a desire for relief without a serious commitment to restoration. We want a magic pill. We want transformation without personal sacrifice. We want others to treat us well without having to think about how we treat others. We want to do well in life and experience success, without having to ask the hard questions about how we’re really doing in terms of living well. We want life to be easy. Anyone who offers a simple solution and a quick fix is selling magic – not movement towards the good life. Renner goes on to suggest that this word refers to “the flesh’s attempts to avoid being confronted and changed”. When I first looked at The Message translation, I wondered how in the world Peterson managed to come up with “magic-show religion” – but I think I understand it after reading Renner’s description of pharmakeia.

My friend Mike Thompson often encourages others to not give up five minutes before the miracle. Miracles happen. But they are not the same thing as magic-show religion. Mike’s life is a testimony to the benefits of forsaking all pharmakeia in the pursuit (sometimes painful) of an authentic life – a place where we come to discover our true, God-created identity. May you too find your life in Christ and discover yourself in the process!

Recommended reading: Esther 5, 6 in the morning; Esther 7 and 1 Corinthians 12

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 231 – Week 33 at a glance

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods… Galatians 5:19 The Message

This week we began our study with an essay by Jason Gray that challenged our definition of greatness. Then we moved on to a study of Galatians 5:19. We’re moving through Paul’s list of seemingly obvious indicators of living life independently of God.

I’m always challenged by my own experience – that what is obvious to others about me isn’t always obvious to me about myself! And so I’m studying this list as if my life depends on understanding it. True enough, my salvation is sealed. I’m saved, not because I get life right, but because Jesus extended mercy and grace to me – even when I live like a sinner. Knowing that theologically I am saint has not provided me with an instant coat of Teflon from all sorts of bad behaving.

But it is a great start. I’m trying to figure out how to step as God speaks. Part of that process involves learning what I’m not supposed to step into. Next week we’ll continue a study of the list that Paul seems to think is very straightforward.

Recommended reading: Esther 1 and 2 in the morning; Esther 3 and 4 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 230 - Measuring progress and avoiding the painful pursuit of perfection, Part 4

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time:…trinket gods… Galatians 5:19 The Message
Idolatry – trinket gods – the Greek word is eidololatria a compound word meaning to work or serve, extreme devotion and service to the worship of idols, a manmade idol, a heathen edifice, a pagan statue, or an image of a false god.

Extreme devotion.

Think about extreme sports.

Consider extreme make-overs.

Ponder all the time, attention, dedication and sacrifice that goes into the pursuit of extreme anything.

What are you extremely devoted to?

How do you spend your time?

What occupies your thought life?

Extreme devotion.

What would it look like to be extremely devoted to God?

Just asking….may your day be filled with a growing awareness of the people, places and things that capture our hearts and hold our attention.

Recommended reading: Nehemiah 12 and 13 in the morning; 1 Corinthians 11 and Psalm 37 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 229 - Measuring progress and avoiding the painful pursuit of perfection, Part 3

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time:…frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness…Galatians 5:19 The Message

The next word is aselgeia – meaning excessive consumption, wild, undisciplined living that is especially marked by unbridled sex. It can also refer to excessive consumption of food. These definitions are found in Rick Renner’s book, Sparking Gems From the Greek, July 15th study. In Eugene Peterson’s translation, he’s broadened the application of this verse to extend beyond sex and food.

I got a call this week from a woman who was very upset with me. She wants me to tell you that Jesus saves – and I agree with her wholeheartedly on this point. She wants me to stop talking about our mental and emotional garbage. Just forget about it, she suggests. The past doesn’t matter. On this point, I must respectfully disagree. I disagree because in my own life experience, the gift of salvation was a crucial next step in my journey – not the destination. And if I had stopped with that step, I’m not sure how I would have handled her call. For example, I didn’t know the day after I was saved that this woman didn’t owe me kind treatment; I would have assumed that Christians didn’t speak unkindly to each other. Post salvation, I am continually learning about my own stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage and reckoning with my own frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness AND discovering what it means to step as God speaks. Through this process, I’ve discovered a lot about myself. This does not negate my salvation experience; my salvation experience gains me entry into the transformation process (Romans 12:1-3).

I have learned that although this woman doesn’t owe me kindness, I have a responsibility to treat her well (thus saith the Lord). This is counter-intuitive if the driving motivation of my life is personal happiness. Just because she lashes me with her tongue, doesn’t mean I’m free to return the favor. Knowing that Jesus desires for me to use this great gift of mercy and grace to step as he speaks has taught me something about the unforced rhythms of grace – and changed the way I dance with others too. I wasn’t given the gift of salvation to squander – or as a mode of transportation to the land of perpetual personal satisfaction and happiness.

With it came a decision on my part to turn control of my life over to him. So when scripture says – no more excessive consumption, wild and undisciplined living or frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness – I assume that means I need to make some changes. When scripture says, “love others,” I figure it’s my job to figure out what that means. It’s funny, really, the by-product of this stepping process. In the past, her vitriolic attack would have really stirred me up – causing me to feel shame and doubt and even a dose of self-condemnation (the result of believing falsely that others should treat me well, I should do well, and life should be easy). I’d have felt compelled to self-medicate. After I managed to disconnect from her phone bashing, something weird happened. I didn’t feel the need to smother my emotions with peanut butter or kick my dog – both options if I’m still living off the junk in my trunk. After years of trying to control my unhealthy responses (by using my own wits to try to stop myself from eating peanut butter and lashing out in anger), I’m discovering that when I do the next right thing, I don’t have the need to grab for something that I hope will make me happy (like a food fix or revenge).

This is a God thing. I’m still a real work in progress; but I’m celebrating one small miracle – yesterday, I didn’t yell back. I didn’t self-medicate. I did something different – and it not only felt good – it felt like the next right thing to do! Yippee!

Recommended reading: Nehemiah 11, 12 in the morning; Psalm 35 and 36 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 228 - Measuring progress and avoiding the painful pursuit of perfection, Part 2

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time:…a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage…Galatians 5:19 The Message

Long before we had the scientific understanding of dendrites and glial cells, Paul knew the deal: what we think about matters. Jesus spoke of this same principle when he distinguished between acts of cleanliness and uncleanliness. He said it wasn’t so much what we did, as it was the state of our heart that determined our spiritual condition. He reminded men that adultery wasn’t just an action, it could simply be a look (Matthew 5:28). He taught us that the state of our heart determined the path we’d choose to run down. He warned of false prophets, telling his audience to pay less attention to what a person said and more attention to the fruit of their lives (Matthew 7:16). He warned others to take more care with what came out of their mouth than went in it (Matthew 15:11). The stuff that goes on between our ears and in our heart is vitally important to God. Paul expressed a similar perspective in Galatians five. The next word used by Paul is akatharsia – meaning lewd or unclean thoughts that eventually produce lewd or unclean actions. These definitions are found in Rick Renner’s book, Sparking Gems From the Greek, July 15th study.

Our technology hasn’t gotten so fancy that we can read the thoughts of others, or judge the intentions of their heart (and that’s good, because that’s not our job). But we can learn a lot by studying the fruit. I suppose that’s one reason why Paul felt it necessary to craft a list of obvious indicators that we’re trying to get our own way all the time. He knew – without the benefit of modern technology – that what we think about matters. It determines what we do. And what we do affects others (and self). Sometimes it’s enough to make us all wonder what we really believe. Certainly Galatians reminds us that at a minimum, what we’re doing may cause us to pause and prepare. We may need to ask ourselves: what was I thinking?

Recommended reading: Nehemiah 9, 10 in the morning; 1 Corinthians 10, Psalm 34 in the

evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 227 - Measuring progress and avoiding the painful pursuit of perfection, Part 1

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex… Galatians 5:19 The Message

Sex may be a hot topic in our culture – but it’s a touchy subject for believers. It’s caused a lot of conflict in the church, and for a group that’s supposed to love God, self and others – that’s sad. For those of you who attend NorthStar on a regular basis – you know already that we don’t think it is our job to legislate morality or try to dictate another’s behavior. At NSC, we have a community of people who, for a variety of reasons, have banded together – we belong to each other. And within the confines of that community of faith, we often discuss – sometimes vehemently – what we believe. But we don’t ask each other to agree in order to belong. So I’m not writing to try to tell you what to do about your sex life. I’m saying this: when we commit our lives to believing in God, it means we’re in the process of learning how to step as He speaks. It’s a process. And whether we know how to handle this information well or not, scripture does speak about our sexuality.

When Paul writes out his list of things that make it obvious that a person is trying to get their own way all the time, the list is not the point. The point is that when we try to get our own way all the time, we cannot simultaneously step as God speaks. The list that Paul compiles is symptomatic of a person living independently of God (which is one definition of sin). The first thing on the list is: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex. (Please notice how intentionally I’m trying to NOT pick one sin over another, rank sin, or blame and shame. I’m just saying – here’s the list.)

The Greek word that Paul used is porneia – and its definition includes all sexual activity outside of marriage – including both adultery and homosexuality. This same word is used when describing the act of prostitution and pornography. This definition is found in Rick Renner’s book, Sparking Gems From the Greek, July 15th study.

Although I’m not interested in your sex life – God is. Sexuality is a beautiful gift from God AND it is to be expressed with care. It’s my prayer that if you have any questions about the way you’re expressing your sexuality, that you will search God’s word – not just for the stuff he says we shouldn’t do, but also to see how he wants us to live as sexual beings. Then you may want to go to someone you trust, who you feel has discernment in this area, and discuss not only what you know about yourself, but what you think you know about God and his view on this subject. Explore the topic.

I suggest this because you and I want to have big hearts and fulfill our mission on planet earth. We don’t want to wake up one morning and realize that there was something obviously “not quite right” about how we were living our life – and we didn’t take the time to make a much needed course correction. Remember, we’re not trying to become perfect or follow all the rules – we’re trying to learn from Jesus “the unforced rhythms of grace” (see Matthew 11:28-30).

There’s an article that was published in 1983 entitled The War Within: An Anatomy of Lust - Leadership Journal, Fall 1982, Vol. 3, No. 4, Page 30 that may be helpful for those who are wondering if their sexual expressions are normal…or not. We have a copy of this article on our book table at NSC, or you can access it on our web site at www.NorthStarCommunity.com/articles.htm

Recommended reading: Nehemiah 7, 8 in the morning; 1 Corinthians 9 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 226 – Obvious?

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time…Galatians 5:19 The Message

“I’ve just decided that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this. I deserve better.” And with that pronouncement, a wife and mother leave her family in pursuit of a more fulfilling life. At that moment, she has no clue – it is absolutely not obvious to her – what kind of life develops out of trying to get her own way all the time. But the rest of us, the ones who have lived in community with her, see clearly that this is indeed how she has lived her life. She’s the kind of gal who always has to get her own way – all the time. (Wouldn’t it be great if we could see our own defects of character as clearly as we see others!?!)

In the NIV translation of Galatians 5:19, it reads: “the acts of the sinful nature are obvious”…

In the King James Version it says: “now the works of the flesh are manifest”…

Manifest – the Greek word is phaneros – meaning to appear, to become visible, to become apparent, to become seen, to be well known, to become conspicuous

My friend left her family and it appeared, became visible, was apparent, well known and conspicuous to her community that she was behaving without regard to her husband, children, or even her own core beliefs. She looked selfish. She became obsessed with her body image – lost weight and buffed up. And although her family looked like survivors of a tragedy – she appeared to thrive.

Sometimes it takes a long, long time before it truly becomes obvious as to the kind of life we’ve created for ourselves. It was years before this woman’s apparent act of selfishness revealed itself to be a misguided attempt to manage her depression. All the buffing and polishing and playing and getting her own way could not stop the progressive nature of her mental affliction. None of that was obvious until much later.

So although Galatians is true, I don’t think it is necessarily easy to determine what kind of life we’re creating. In the next few days, we’re going to look more deeply into Galatians 5, and see what signs and symptoms Paul has provided us in this letter. Perhaps he has left us some clues that will enable us to see the obvious in our own lives – before we wreak havoc on ourselves and others.

Recommended reading: Nehemiah 6, 7 in the morning; 1 Corinthians 8, Psalm 33 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 225 – Week 33 – True greatness

Scripture focus: In the same way that you gave me [Jesus] a mission in the world, I give them a mission in the world. John 17:18 The Message

Jesus’ mission was great – and it changed the world. Jesus says he’s given us a mission, too. Do you feel like you have a great mission in this life? I read this devotional by Jason Gray (“Finding Your Calling in a Cup of Coffee”), and I think he speaks more articulately about greatness than I ever could – so enjoy!

Whenever I’m in Seattle I make it a point to visit Espresso Vivace, my favorite coffee shop in the world. For me, it captures the simultaneously rogue and refined spirit of the Seattle zeitgeist, and though it’s kind of a frou-frou drink, my regular there is a little concoction of love and happiness called the White Velvet. They top it off with foam art that looks like a leaf or even a heart, which is appropriate since there’s a lot of love in that cup.

We first heard about Espresso Vivace when National Geographic rated it “Best of the City” in Seattle, and we’ve made it a priority to stop every time we’re in town. During one of my last visits there, I was reading the articles posted on the wall and saw a write-up about the many ventures of Vivace’s entrepreneurial founder, David Schomer. After years of mixed results working as an engineer for Boeing, a meteorologist and a musician, the article proclaimed he finally “found his calling” with his coffee roasting business, and offered up the story of Espresso Vivace’s success as proof. It got me thinking about the ways we tend to measure success.

I understand what the writer is getting at, and I even agree with it for the most part. Author Frederick Buechner offers the beautiful thought that our calling is where our “great joy and the world’s deep hunger meet,” which is literally true in Schomer’s case if you swap out the word “hunger” for “thirst” as his personal passion for coffee converged with the burgeoning coffee industry of the late ’80s.

But still, I was troubled by the words “found his calling,” and they stuck with me long after the delectable aftertaste of my White Velvet faded. It made me think of how uncomfortable our culture is with the idea of a true calling that doesn’t produce “success.” Even as Christians, we tend to interpret measurable success as a sign of God’s stamp of approval.

If that is all there is to it, then a lot of us are in big trouble. In my work, I’m exposed to many different ministries as I’ve played in mega churches as well as churches so small I’m amazed they keep it going. Now, I don’t mean this in any way to knock big ministries—many of them are invaluable to the Kingdom—but I can honestly say that more often than not the smaller and seemingly “insignificant” ministries are led by some of the greatest and sharpest people I know. Many of them are discouraged and dogged by a sense of failure since they don’t have the numbers that most use to measure the “success” of a ministry.

I have observed, though, that it’s their very smallness that makes them so deft, crucial and able to get to the heart of things. They have less to lose by telling a hard truth. Their size is conducive to a kind of intimacy that allows them to get inside the tiny crawl spaces of the human heart and speak to the secret motivations, shame and fears that hide there. Small ministries are God’s fine instruments, cutting and mending with laser-like precision.

Ever notice that Jesus continually resisted the worldly paradigm of success? Whenever his following would swell, he would pare it down by saying startling things like “eat my flesh” and “drink my blood.” By conventional standards he wasn’t a very “successful” evangelist, healer or even teacher (most were bewildered when he would speak).

The Bible’s greatest stories are cast with unlikely characters who descended to greatness. The book of Hebrews features a roll call of faithful heroes who never saw the successful consummation of all they believed for. It’s clear that God’s Word rejects the idea of measuring success solely by numbers, popularity or even the achievement of a desired end. Instead, scriptural success is defined by one thing: faithfulness.

You may “find your calling” and discover that your calling is to fail: to give to those who only take, to speak to those who will not hear, to love those who won’t know how to receive your love. You may find that your calling will daily break your heart and leave you feeling like you’re holding back the darkness with a tattered book of matches. You may find that you are called to join what J.R.R. Tolkien called “the long defeat,” to fight with no assurance of winning, but to fight nonetheless.

I think of Dr. Paul Farmer in Haiti who serves the poorest of the poor against a rising tide of poverty. I think of my friend, Thulani, who labors for the growing number of AIDS orphans as director of World Vision ministries in troubled Zimbabwe. I think of my parents whose ministry is the last stop for many people who have slipped through the cracks. These kinds of callings aren’t likely to produce bestselling books or poster children for the American dream, but they are inspiring examples of faithful perseverance in the face of a losing battle. They remind us that there is more to existence than the constant striving for material success.

I know this all seems worlds away from the front door of Espresso Vivace, but there is a parallel, however modest. Upon further reflection, I wonder if maybe the article is right about Schomer finding his true calling. There are only three Vivace locations, after all, and it is his passion for his “calling” that insures he’ll never be a threat to coffee behemoths like Starbucks. The passion for success is often at odds with the passion for faithfulness, and Schomer’s passion for the perfect shot of espresso will most likely limit his business.

I’m grateful for this, and I thank God for my white velvet mocha and all that it symbolizes: that the pursuit of worldly success is like chasing the wind, and the monuments and castles of this kingdom are made of sand. It reminds me that there is another Kingdom whose citizens understand that our truest calling is to be faithful to the passion we are entrusted with, and that faithfulness is the better measure of success.

That may be a lot to ask of a cup of coffee, but again, even the smallest things can carry great meaning if invested with passionate faithfulness.

Recommended reading: Nehemiah 4, 5 in the morning; Psalm 32, Proverbs 22 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 224 – Week 32 at a glance

Scripture focus: God-defiers are always in trouble; God-affirmers find themselves loved every time they turn around. Celebrate God. Sing together – everyone! All you honest hearts, raise the roof! Psalm 32:10-11 The Message

This week’s devotionals focused on the 32nd Psalm, and reminded us of the following concepts:

· “Mulligans” began with God.

· Essential to the fresh start process will be: the need to hold nothing back, a willingness to come clean and tell the truth about or failures, and an acknowledgement that the world is never going be an easy place to step as God speaks.

· A spiritual journey is best traveled with companions. If we aren’t always going to do well, if people are not going to treat us right, and if the world can be a heartless place to reside – it’s best to experience all this with good friends.

· A couple of definitions to help us along the way include –
Walk – live – Greek word is peripateo – to habitually walk around in one general vicinity; a person who has walked in one region for so long that it has now become his environment, his place of daily activity, the sphere that encircles his existence

Repentance – “A religious term referring simply to a deep change of one’s mind and heart.” [David Eckman, p.88, Becoming What God Intended]

If we want to have big hearts in this heartless world, we’re going to need a firm commitment to living within earshot of the voice of God.

You have completed your two hundred twenty fourth day of a 365 journey. May your walk keep you in the vicinity of God!

Recommended reading: Nehemiah: 1 - 3 in the morning; 1 Corinthians 7 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 223 – Straight Shooting

Scripture focus: Let me give you some good advice; I’m looking you in the eye and giving it to you straight: “Don’t be ornery like a horse or mule that needs bit and bridle to stay on track.” Psalm 32:8-9 The Message

Today I want to join with the psalmist and shoot straight – we often behave like an ornery horse or mule. We must get serious about our predisposition to forget God and ignore his voice. Come on, you know this about yourself, don’t you? Every day we have choices to make – either to step as God speaks or blaze our own trail. When we’re sitting at a stoplight late for our next meeting, and the driver in front of us is distracted with a phone call or mocha latte and sits right through the green arrow that would shoot us toward our next task – we have a choice. We can fuss and fume, make gestures and blow horns, or we can pause to prepare. We can blame this bad driver for our tardy arrival, or we can accept responsibility for not leaving a little early to compensate for the inevitable red lights and distracted drivers. Some task or assignment that should have been easy will unexpectedly turn frustrating. We can decide to blow a gasket or calmly remind ourselves that life isn’t easy. We can fume about the problem, or pray about a solution. We have choices. And if we don’t learn how to follow, Psalm 32 reminds us that we might find ourselves being led by bit and bridle. We might get our license yanked for reckless driving (for the umpteenth time) or get fired because we’re too ornery to work with. These consequences are the metaphorical bits and bridles of our day. How can we avoid the bit and bridle?

My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. Galatians 5:16-17 The Message

Walk – live – Greek word is peripateo – to habitually walk around in one general vicinity; a person who has walked in one region for so long that it has now become his environment, his place of daily activity, the sphere that encircles his existence… In Galatians, the apostle Paul tells us to live, or walk in some translations – by God’s spirit. I love this Greek word. Notice the definition. It means to habitually walk around in one area so long that it becomes home. At first, this region won’t feel comfortable. We’ll long for the old familiar sights, sounds and smells of our former dwelling. But if we walk around habitually, daily, and long enough – soon this new way of living will become as comfortable as an old shoe.

* We begin taking personal responsibility for our schedules and not living in denial about how long it takes to get from point A to point B. If we want to show up to meetings on time, we’ll leave in time to achieve that goal. Maybe we’ll be the first one there. That might give us time to settle in and pick a comfortable seat. We can calm our nerves, review our notes, maybe even stop and order our favorite coffee to take with us.

* When a task turns frustrating, we don’t waste time on foolish questions like “Why me?” We expect frustration, and plan accordingly. We begin our assignments well in advance of deadlines. We network and ask for help when a solution doesn’t present itself. We don’t allow one bad break to define our day. We not only expect problems, we anticipate them as opportunities to stretch ourselves! We must learn to walk by God’s Spirit. Yes, it will feel weird. But it’s worth it. It is the home of freedom.

Recommended reading: Ezra 10 and Proverbs 21 in the morning; 1 Corinthians 6 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 222 - Hell Breaks Loose

Scripture focus: These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray; when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we'll be on high ground untouched. God's my island hideaway, keeps danger far from the shore, throws garlands of hosannas around my neck. Psalm 32:6-7 The Message

I used to think these two verses meant this: if we pray, when bad things happen - they won't happen to us - they'll happen to the bad guys. God will insulate me from trouble, and only good stuff will happen to me as long as I pray (and do all the other things good Christians do).

I don't think like this anymore. Before verse six, there is a verse five in Psalm 32 - and it's all about failure. Specifically, it's about my failure. It's not speaking about "bad guys" - it's talking about me (and you and everyone else). These things add up I now realize is written in the context of the first five verses of this psalm - and the psalmist just described how he held back, hid himself, became distraught and depressed in his isolation - until the pressure became so intense that he was forced to confess his failures. Then he got relief. I think six and seven are reminders from the psalmist that this isn't a "once and done" experience. We'll grow forgetful of this cleansing process. We'll fall back into our old habits - forgetting God and trying to forge an identity on the basis of personal performance. Inevitably, the pressure will build again.

Now, here's where the scripture gets really interesting. Remember, I used to think this meant bad things couldn't happen to good people. I know - totally naïve and biblically unsound - but I'm just being honest! Let's face it - that fantasy, even if it were true, would not be good news for me. Because I can never pray perfectly, behave flawlessly, and do all those things that good Christians do on a consistent basis. So if my earlier interpretation is correct, I'm in big trouble.

Fortunately, we move on to verse seven. Dams will burst and hell will break loose. The pressure will build. We will fail to perform. We will grow forgetful of God, and our do-gooding. And God's response will be to never leave us nor forsake us. When the pressure builds to the point where we can't take it, if we find our way back to God and make a clean breast of our failures - God will provide us with a refuge. He will throw garlands of hosannas around my neck. A hosanna is an exclamation of praise to God.

Who provides the garlands of praise to God? God provides the garlands of praise. He will remind us, as all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts, of why finding our way back to him is good news. He'll provide moments of clarity, grace and mercy. God will do this for us - even though we've grown forgetful of him and failed to do what good Christians should and ought to do.

In a world hell bent on teaching us that we must do well, others should treat us nice, and good things should come easy - God provides a new perspective. He reminds us that we won't always do well - even if we try hard. Others won't treat us well (I don't even know why we think otherwise). And the world will never be an easy place to reside. But hear this: God is in the business of rescuing the helpless, hopeless and perishing. Run hard back to the place of not holding back from him, and you will find rest for your soul. You can do it.

Recommended reading: Ezra 8 and 9 in the morning; 1 Corinthians 5 and Psalm 31 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 221 - Too Good to be True?

Scripture focus: Then I let it all out; I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God." Suddenly the pressure was gone - my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. Psalm 32:5 The Message

Have you ever walked through the 12-step process? Most people don't make it through all twelve, and that's sad. People tell me that the fourth step - taking a complete and honest moral inventory - is sometimes too painful. And it is. I filled up pages and pages and pages of stuff I'd have rather forgotten when I listed all my fears, frustrations, shortcomings and assets (admittedly, the asset list was very short).

More people might complete the fourth step if they knew the power of the fifth step. That's when we share with God, self, and another, the exact nature of our wrongs. Culled from the fourth step inventory, I'm not sure who it's harder to admit the truth to - God, self or another! A fifth step is like sharing a lifelong list of bloopers without a laugh track. It's like watching some of those painfully awkward moments on the TV show "The Office" - only you can't tell yourself that it's only pretend. This is our life and we're sharing the most painful parts of it without props. Or at least that's how it's supposed to go.

And when someone commits to this process honestly, it is a spiritual act of worship. That's the only way I can describe it. As one shares, and others listen without blame, shame or condemnation - suddenly a lifetime of pressure is lifted. It's an amazing experience. It's also part of the repentance process.

Repentance - "A religious term referring simply to a deep change of one's mind and heart." [David Eckman, p.88, Becoming What God Intended]

For me, taking my fifth step was evidence of a decision to live in community. I wanted to feel lucky at life - and according to Psalm 32, that could only happen if I was willing to hold nothing back. I know some people think of repentance and punishment as two links in one long chain (do wrong - get punished - repent do wrong - get punished - repent ). That's not how I experienced it. Repentance is a gift. It's an opportunity to change one's mind and heart. (And if you do an honest and complete fourth step, you'll understand why that's a good thing.) Repentance is a chance to relieve the pressure. Repentance is what it means to come home - back to my community as I find my way back to God.

"Repentance is not something God demands of you before he will take you back and which he could if he chose; it is simply a description of what going back is like." [C. S. Lewis]

It's my prayer that repentance becomes a way of life for each of us - not as a response to guilt and shame, but as a dance of delight - moving in perfect rhythm to the grace and mercy of God.

Recommended reading: Ezra 6 and 7 in the morning; 1 Corinthians 4 and Psalm 30 in the evening

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