Scripture focus: Then I let it all out; I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God." Suddenly the pressure was gone - my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. Psalm 32:5 The Message
Have you ever walked through the 12-step process? Most people don't make it through all twelve, and that's sad. People tell me that the fourth step - taking a complete and honest moral inventory - is sometimes too painful. And it is. I filled up pages and pages and pages of stuff I'd have rather forgotten when I listed all my fears, frustrations, shortcomings and assets (admittedly, the asset list was very short).
More people might complete the fourth step if they knew the power of the fifth step. That's when we share with God, self, and another, the exact nature of our wrongs. Culled from the fourth step inventory, I'm not sure who it's harder to admit the truth to - God, self or another! A fifth step is like sharing a lifelong list of bloopers without a laugh track. It's like watching some of those painfully awkward moments on the TV show "The Office" - only you can't tell yourself that it's only pretend. This is our life and we're sharing the most painful parts of it without props. Or at least that's how it's supposed to go.
And when someone commits to this process honestly, it is a spiritual act of worship. That's the only way I can describe it. As one shares, and others listen without blame, shame or condemnation - suddenly a lifetime of pressure is lifted. It's an amazing experience. It's also part of the repentance process.
Repentance - "A religious term referring simply to a deep change of one's mind and heart." [David Eckman, p.88, Becoming What God Intended]
For me, taking my fifth step was evidence of a decision to live in community. I wanted to feel lucky at life - and according to Psalm 32, that could only happen if I was willing to hold nothing back. I know some people think of repentance and punishment as two links in one long chain (do wrong - get punished - repent do wrong - get punished - repent ). That's not how I experienced it. Repentance is a gift. It's an opportunity to change one's mind and heart. (And if you do an honest and complete fourth step, you'll understand why that's a good thing.) Repentance is a chance to relieve the pressure. Repentance is what it means to come home - back to my community as I find my way back to God.
"Repentance is not something God demands of you before he will take you back and which he could if he chose; it is simply a description of what going back is like." [C. S. Lewis]
It's my prayer that repentance becomes a way of life for each of us - not as a response to guilt and shame, but as a dance of delight - moving in perfect rhythm to the grace and mercy of God.
Recommended reading: Ezra 6 and 7 in the morning; 1 Corinthians 4 and Psalm 30 in the evening
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NorthStar Community
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