Day 237
Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …an impotence to love or be loved… Galatians 5:19-20 the Message
An inability to love or be loved – strife – eritheia (Greek) – a self-seeking ambition that is more concerned about itself and the fulfillment of its own wants, desires, and pleasures than it is in meeting the same needs in others. (Sparkling Words From the Greek, July 18th).
Our family once knew a little boy who grew up into a man who had an inability to love or be loved. It seemed to me that this wasn’t his fault. Outside observers saw him as pampered and coddled. Growing up in an affluent suburb, the kid seemed to have it all. He had game systems, cool shoes and fast cars. He seemed to be a person of privilege. Appearances can be deceiving. At home, he was regularly locked in a closet when his folks wanted to party. People forgot to feed him. Rarely did anyone remember to show up at school functions. As he got older, his parents included him in their adult social life. As a teenager, it was common knowledge that if you wanted to get your hands on drugs, this kid had access to anything one could want – through his mom. He had a fierce temper and a passion for attention but not much of a work ethic. He saw a lot of action at home that most kids only view in movies. I’m not much of a fan of game systems or shoes or cars as replacements for love and attention and hot meals. But what I find really disturbing is that this schizophrenic lifestyle of pampering paired with neglect did nothing to teach this child how to love and be loved.
Eventually, he learned. He learned that although his childhood wasn’t his fault – his future was his responsibility. He came to see that a life consumed with trying to get his own way all the time wasn’t a life worth living. So he changed his life.
It wasn’t easy. He sought counseling and joined support groups. He explored spirituality. He had to change his friends and detach from his family. He learned about the amends process – and then actually made some. He figured out that living off his folks was convenient but not conducive to building a big heart.
Today he’s a guy who still struggles with what it means to love God and others. It’s been particularly challenging to figure out how to respect himself. For those of us who know and love him – I can only report that he’s a guy who no longer needs a party or pity to make it through the day. He works hard. He’s a work in progress. And it’s obvious to all of us, and I hope to him – that a bad beginning isn’t enough to keep God’s prevailing purposes from prevailing. May God’s purposes prevail in your life today.
Recommended reading: Job 11 and 12 in the morning; Job 13 and 14 in the evening
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