Day 31
Scripture focus: Does not wisdom call out? Does not understanding raise her voice? Proverbs 8:1 NIV
An inability to identify, express and appropriately interact with our feelings is a problem. Scott talked about how he sometimes feels like his emotions are an outside force; they overtake him. He feels as if there is nothing he can do.
He could have stuck with this story.
By engaging his faith, he allowed for a space of needed introspection and outside influence. As he explored the writings in scripture, prayed, and sought outside counsel, Scott moved beyond his limited understanding and strong feelings to a new and different point of view.
It has been a process.
I suspect Scott is always going to be a man who has strong emotions. I cannot imagine a day when he will not feel certain about what the General Manager should do to keep the Celtics in contention. He will always make outrageous statements about guys like Pete Carroll being glorified frat boys. He will be certain about what his father needs to do in order to improve his golf game. He will make us more thoughtful types roll our eyes. But he also warms a mother’s heart. I used to think the best of families were “good” ones. We missed that mark completely, but we sure do love the ride.
May each of our families strain our ears to hear the soft, loving voices of God’s Spirit, calling out in wisdom and understanding.
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Day 30
Scripture focus: Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death. Proverbs 7:27 NIV
We are all in denial.
No way, you say?
Are you uncomfortably aware that your marriage is crumbling, and your kid is hanging out on street corners? How can this be denial?
Part of denial involves our inability to figure out how our troubles happened.
Think about it like this. Scott starts hanging out with a girl who has a boyfriend far away. They click. Does Scott ever stop and ask, “Hmmmm. If I become her boyfriend, will I feel secure if we have to live far apart?”
Hindsight is a beautiful thing; but let’s face it, some things we can see coming a mile away.
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Scripture focus: Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death. Proverbs 7:27 NIV
We are all in denial.
No way, you say?
Are you uncomfortably aware that your marriage is crumbling, and your kid is hanging out on street corners? How can this be denial?
Part of denial involves our inability to figure out how our troubles happened.
Think about it like this. Scott starts hanging out with a girl who has a boyfriend far away. They click. Does Scott ever stop and ask, “Hmmmm. If I become her boyfriend, will I feel secure if we have to live far apart?”
Hindsight is a beautiful thing; but let’s face it, some things we can see coming a mile away.
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Day 29
Scripture focus: Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Proverbs 7:26 NIV
If someone wants to victimize you, it will require your full cooperation.
Figuring out what is going not quite right is absolutely NOT the same thing as ascribing blame.
Once I was teaching a lesson on family systems, and some guy at the back of the room stood up and shouted in utter frustration, “I get all this! Tell me how to fix it!”
He was sincere but the way he glared down at his wife led me to intuit that perhaps he was playing the blame game.
I replied, “Go first.”
“What?” He squinted back at me, cupped his ear and tried to believe that he had misheard.
“You heard me. Go first. Be a man. Fix your part in the problem. See what happens.”
I never saw that guy again. Maybe he got busy and went first. Maybe he decided I didn’t have a clue.
When it gets right down to it, the only change we can ever truly control is the changes we make ourselves.
“A safe but sometimes chilly way of recalling the past is to force open a crammed drawer. If you are searching for anything in particular, you don’t find it, but something falls out at the back that is often more interesting.” J. M. Barrie, from the dedication to his first edition of Peter Pan.
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Scripture focus: Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Proverbs 7:26 NIV
If someone wants to victimize you, it will require your full cooperation.
Figuring out what is going not quite right is absolutely NOT the same thing as ascribing blame.
Once I was teaching a lesson on family systems, and some guy at the back of the room stood up and shouted in utter frustration, “I get all this! Tell me how to fix it!”
He was sincere but the way he glared down at his wife led me to intuit that perhaps he was playing the blame game.
I replied, “Go first.”
“What?” He squinted back at me, cupped his ear and tried to believe that he had misheard.
“You heard me. Go first. Be a man. Fix your part in the problem. See what happens.”
I never saw that guy again. Maybe he got busy and went first. Maybe he decided I didn’t have a clue.
When it gets right down to it, the only change we can ever truly control is the changes we make ourselves.
“A safe but sometimes chilly way of recalling the past is to force open a crammed drawer. If you are searching for anything in particular, you don’t find it, but something falls out at the back that is often more interesting.” J. M. Barrie, from the dedication to his first edition of Peter Pan.
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Day 28
Scripture focus: Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Proverbs 7:24-25 NIV
One of the skill differentiators between healthy and unwell families is the use of boundaries. Boundaries are best used with flexibility. Unfortunately, many of us either have too rigid or too diffuse boundaries.
Suppose grandma falls and breaks her hip. If she has too rigid boundaries, she tells everyone that she is fine and refuses all help. Too diffuse and she calls up her daughter in Poughkeepsie and says, “Sweetie, the time has come. I need you to leave your job, your husband, your seven children and three dogs, come to Richmond and take care of me. This is your duty. I’ll have my friend Nancy pick you up at the train station at three. Please wear that lovely blue suit I gave you for your birthday – you are completely helpless when it comes to fashion.”
Boundaries help our heart stay true to its calling.
Boundaries help us not wander over onto someone else’s path.
How are your boundaries? Might this be a subject worth exploring?
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Scripture focus: Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Proverbs 7:24-25 NIV
One of the skill differentiators between healthy and unwell families is the use of boundaries. Boundaries are best used with flexibility. Unfortunately, many of us either have too rigid or too diffuse boundaries.
Suppose grandma falls and breaks her hip. If she has too rigid boundaries, she tells everyone that she is fine and refuses all help. Too diffuse and she calls up her daughter in Poughkeepsie and says, “Sweetie, the time has come. I need you to leave your job, your husband, your seven children and three dogs, come to Richmond and take care of me. This is your duty. I’ll have my friend Nancy pick you up at the train station at three. Please wear that lovely blue suit I gave you for your birthday – you are completely helpless when it comes to fashion.”
Boundaries help our heart stay true to its calling.
Boundaries help us not wander over onto someone else’s path.
How are your boundaries? Might this be a subject worth exploring?
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Day 27
Scripture focus: All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. Proverbs 7:22-23 NIV
Unhealthy families, for a variety of reasons, often end up stepping into nooses without a clue as to how they got caught up in such costly mistakes. Healthy families divide up their structure and roles, integrating and creating a home in connection with each other. Unhealthy families are rigid, separately taking on functions, working in isolation. Here are some of the roles you can find in most typically unhealthy families:
* Someone in the family does a lot of stuff. They are the energizer bunny, and people often compliment them on their ability to be go-go-going. For a long time, the energizer preens in front of such adulation. He/she doesn’t notice that everyone else is sitting around eating popcorn and watching a movie. Eventually, Mr. or Mrs. Do-er feels tired, lonely, neglected, empty, disrespected.
* Someone in the family takes charge of loving, helping, enabling. They smooth out ruffled feathers and avoid conflict. This may morph into a lot of “doing” – but mostly this person fears that others will abandon the family or that the family cannot survive without them.
*The loner escapes. This isn’t the same as introversion, because it is accompanied by a deep sense of loneliness.
*The hero provides success for the family to bask in. He/she makes the family proud, but at great personal expense.
*The mascot provides comic relief. He/she is in charge of play. This person takes up the banner of fun as a fantastic escape from problems, and often judges others as too serious.
*The scapegoat takes on the unenviable position of black sheep.
*Favoritism is another role – maybe dad has a favorite little princess, or mom has a favorite little prince.
*One person may carry the banner of spirituality for the family.
In healthy families, these roles get mixed up and handed out, played out by all the members to various degrees at different times. Which kind of family is yours?
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Scripture focus: All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. Proverbs 7:22-23 NIV
Unhealthy families, for a variety of reasons, often end up stepping into nooses without a clue as to how they got caught up in such costly mistakes. Healthy families divide up their structure and roles, integrating and creating a home in connection with each other. Unhealthy families are rigid, separately taking on functions, working in isolation. Here are some of the roles you can find in most typically unhealthy families:
* Someone in the family does a lot of stuff. They are the energizer bunny, and people often compliment them on their ability to be go-go-going. For a long time, the energizer preens in front of such adulation. He/she doesn’t notice that everyone else is sitting around eating popcorn and watching a movie. Eventually, Mr. or Mrs. Do-er feels tired, lonely, neglected, empty, disrespected.
* Someone in the family takes charge of loving, helping, enabling. They smooth out ruffled feathers and avoid conflict. This may morph into a lot of “doing” – but mostly this person fears that others will abandon the family or that the family cannot survive without them.
*The loner escapes. This isn’t the same as introversion, because it is accompanied by a deep sense of loneliness.
*The hero provides success for the family to bask in. He/she makes the family proud, but at great personal expense.
*The mascot provides comic relief. He/she is in charge of play. This person takes up the banner of fun as a fantastic escape from problems, and often judges others as too serious.
*The scapegoat takes on the unenviable position of black sheep.
*Favoritism is another role – maybe dad has a favorite little princess, or mom has a favorite little prince.
*One person may carry the banner of spirituality for the family.
In healthy families, these roles get mixed up and handed out, played out by all the members to various degrees at different times. Which kind of family is yours?
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Day 26
Scripture focus: With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. Proverbs 7:21 NIV
I used to believe that if Pete and I could create a “good” family, no one would go astray. Boy was I an idiot!
This week I had lunch with a friend who I think has created not only a “good” family structure but a great one. Our time together began with a recitation of the interesting situations her children had gotten themselves entangled in since last we lunched. These “entanglements” included handcuffs and tickets and a few other things that one doesn’t normally associate with “good” families (because, as I said, most of us are idiots!).
Does this alter my viewpoint about my friend? No way! In fact, it confirms my conviction. As a healthy family, she and her brood have experienced problems and stress but have handled them in a healthy way.
She and her husband talk about problems; they make adjustments; they admit when a symptom indicates a need for change; they talk to the kids about the changes they are making; they admit their stress without wallowing in it – they take appropriate action; they make it easy for their kids to admit problems too; they teach their kids how to be problem solvers, not royalty in the family system of denial.
Healthy families:
* Provide safety, warmth, nurturance to all members
* Create a sense of community, belonging, loving
* Foster autonomy
* Promote self-respect in all members
* Make mistakes without making it a federal offense
* Have fun
* Are spiritual
As you might suspect, unhealthy families have a different kind of list. To be continued…
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Scripture focus: With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. Proverbs 7:21 NIV
I used to believe that if Pete and I could create a “good” family, no one would go astray. Boy was I an idiot!
This week I had lunch with a friend who I think has created not only a “good” family structure but a great one. Our time together began with a recitation of the interesting situations her children had gotten themselves entangled in since last we lunched. These “entanglements” included handcuffs and tickets and a few other things that one doesn’t normally associate with “good” families (because, as I said, most of us are idiots!).
Does this alter my viewpoint about my friend? No way! In fact, it confirms my conviction. As a healthy family, she and her brood have experienced problems and stress but have handled them in a healthy way.
She and her husband talk about problems; they make adjustments; they admit when a symptom indicates a need for change; they talk to the kids about the changes they are making; they admit their stress without wallowing in it – they take appropriate action; they make it easy for their kids to admit problems too; they teach their kids how to be problem solvers, not royalty in the family system of denial.
Healthy families:
* Provide safety, warmth, nurturance to all members
* Create a sense of community, belonging, loving
* Foster autonomy
* Promote self-respect in all members
* Make mistakes without making it a federal offense
* Have fun
* Are spiritual
As you might suspect, unhealthy families have a different kind of list. To be continued…
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Day 25
Scripture focus: She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said: “I have fellowship offerings at home; today I fulfilled my vows. So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love! My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.” Proverbs 7:13-20 NIV
What is it exactly about this seduction that makes it so….seductive? It isn’t the sheets!
It probably is related to:
* Temporary reduction in anxiety
* Temporary distraction from stress
* Temporary feelings of power/control and well-being
* An opportunity to avoid and address our true feelings
* A way to avoid developmental responsibilities
* A distraction from problems
* Avoidance of intimacy
I bet Pete would prefer that I put on a brazen face, kiss and hold him, and offer him all sorts of opportunities to cavort on colored linens from Egypt. But the real deal is this: our bed is currently piled high with about 16 loads of clothes that need folding. We could take a walk down to the street corner, but we wouldn’t make it and here’s why: our lawn needs water, the grass needs cutting and the rose bushes need a trim.
The only cinnamon we see is what I sprinkle in the oatmeal we eat while swallowing our cholesterol meds and working the daily crossword puzzle in an attempt to keep dementia at bay.
But I will tell you this: life is sweet many (not all) days at our house. Our recovery community continues to teach us how to avoid the long journey of denial and walk the road to recovery. It’s the good life. Not perfect, not without lapses, but good.
May we all find our way back home.
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Scripture focus: She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said: “I have fellowship offerings at home; today I fulfilled my vows. So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love! My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.” Proverbs 7:13-20 NIV
What is it exactly about this seduction that makes it so….seductive? It isn’t the sheets!
It probably is related to:
* Temporary reduction in anxiety
* Temporary distraction from stress
* Temporary feelings of power/control and well-being
* An opportunity to avoid and address our true feelings
* A way to avoid developmental responsibilities
* A distraction from problems
* Avoidance of intimacy
I bet Pete would prefer that I put on a brazen face, kiss and hold him, and offer him all sorts of opportunities to cavort on colored linens from Egypt. But the real deal is this: our bed is currently piled high with about 16 loads of clothes that need folding. We could take a walk down to the street corner, but we wouldn’t make it and here’s why: our lawn needs water, the grass needs cutting and the rose bushes need a trim.
The only cinnamon we see is what I sprinkle in the oatmeal we eat while swallowing our cholesterol meds and working the daily crossword puzzle in an attempt to keep dementia at bay.
But I will tell you this: life is sweet many (not all) days at our house. Our recovery community continues to teach us how to avoid the long journey of denial and walk the road to recovery. It’s the good life. Not perfect, not without lapses, but good.
May we all find our way back home.
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Day 24
Scripture focus: Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home; now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.) Proverbs 7:10-12 NIV
In case you’ve never hooked up with a prostitute, please allow me to provide some alternative dangerously addictive comforts that might be substituted in these verses to give us a more personal connection: alcohol, prescription and/or nonprescription drugs, illegal drugs, food, tv, sex, work, spending, hoarding, stress, exercise, reading, risky behaviors, nicotine, caffeine, relationships, power, sleep, gambling, etc.
Is it possible that forces with crafty intent are finding a receptive audience in your heart?
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Day 23
Scripture focus: He (a youth) was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in. Proverbs 7:8-9 NIV
Some parenting philosophies suggest that we protect our children, teaching them to avoid corners where temptation lurks. Pete and I haven’t really ascribed to this theory. Our fasciculous retroflexeses are in working order (that neurological super speedy highway between the mid-brain the prefrontal cortex which helps us think about cause and effect, delayed gratification, etc.) and that means that although we seriously considered chaining our children to their bedposts until they were thirty in order to avoid evil doing, we feared that this would leave them with a limited sense of freedom. Frankly, we were afraid that once we cut them loose they would go no farther than the kitchen, maybe the den. We really didn’t want to be cleaning up ramon noodle wrappers each morning or picking up empty Cheerwine bottles off the coffee table when our kids were old enough to apply for Social Security.
Lapses in judgment, symptoms of unwellness, relationship malfunctions and all the other “isms” that plague us often start as normal, developmental responses to life stress. Often our symptoms are a treatment strategy for avoiding pain and suffering.
Growing up with require that we get serious about facing our problems; faith provides us a framework to do so that is both hopeful and healing.
Clearly, all children will one day walk down the street. Maybe it will be at twilight, as the dark of night is setting in. They will feel lonely, and in need of companionship. They will feel tempted to seek the comfort that is available and inviting. Delaying gratification, trusting God to provide, might be concepts best embraced in the light. Darkness clouds the vision. They will have some choices to make, and it will be most helpful if they have a real sense of community to reach out to…..or should I say “we”?
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Day 22
Scripture focus: At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice. I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment. Proverbs 7:6-7
One of the snares common to man is the propensity to judge. Proverbs, read improperly, can foster that inclination. Scott learned that taking the writings of scripture and praying them personally certainly puts a new spin on things. Here’s how this one could read (from my perspective): At the window of the neighbor’s house, he/she looked out through the lattice. He/she saw among the simple, he/she noticed among them Teresa – a person too old to be mistaken for a youth, but one who acted like a youth – she (Teresa) lacked judgment. Ahhhh…this changes things, does it not? We eliminate the need to discuss the waywardness of the youth today and how different it was “back in the day” and instead, we focus on our life on this particular day. A second snare waiting to grab us is the feeling of shame (a belief that we are broken, terminally unique, badder than the baddest person in town, unforgivable, irreparable, a reprobate). Frankly, swallowing this emotion whole without doing an appropriate fact check is irresponsible. And although lack of judgment and irresponsibility are natural, normal, developmentally appropriate stages in the life of a youth – unless you are still at the point where you must get a stranger to pick you up a six pack at the local store because you left your fake ID in your jeans that your Mama just washed – when we grow up, part of maturation will require that we learn how to live responsibly and acquire the capacity to use good judgment. The third snare is family dysfunction. There are symptoms that we develop when we grow up in a family that does not teach us how to have reasonably healthy coping strategies, provide us with a profound sense of security, and inspire us to reach for the stars (because we were created for such things – not in a vain attempt to win parental notice or approval). These symptoms might include: psychiatric and stress disorders, substance abuse, addictions to depression, phobias, anxiety, personality disorders, sexual dysfunction, intimacy issues, hyper-activity, compulsions, obsessions and more. This does NOT mean that healthy families never have problems – they do (see list above). But in unhealthy families, we are less like to name, address, resolve, and move through our issues. Recently I spoke at a conference where there was a strong medical presence representing the recovery movement. They grilled me – at length – about the need for a spiritual component to the recovery process. Many of these fine men and women, working on the front lines of addiction treatment day after day, wanted to make sure that I understood the physiological component of addiction (I know. You could’ve told them about how I harp on this, right?) I nodded in assent and with sincere appreciation thanked them for continuing to teach us all about how we can better overcome substance abuse. But what I’d like to add to that comment is this: every life choice, problem, issue, concern, bad break, disease, blessing and curse that comes down the pike is better understood, addressed, coped with and healed when we live as spiritual beings. People with cancer who have strong faiths reportedly do better than cancer patients with no faith. Scott had a series of tough breaks and a lapse in judgment that turned into a huge opportunity to grow and learn because he engaged his faith, perhaps sidestepping further snares. His faith did not act as a shield from youthful indiscretion, but it gave him a way to understand God, himself and others that was comforting and informative. May we all continue to lean into the word of God.
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Day 21
Scripture focus: Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call understanding your kinsman; they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words. Proverbs 7:4-5 NIV
John and Linda Friel have researched and documented this material in a book, Adult Children - The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families. As we study what it looks like to life dysfunctionally, I ask you to consider the call of God’s word and his sweet mercy. Our goal is not to wallow in our limitations, but to tell the truth about the symptoms in our lives that indicate our need for God’s healing powers. Adult children of dysfunctional families may experience:
*Pivotal times in our life (ages 28, 39, 47) when there is a greater intensity, pain and confusion about ourselves, our purpose, and our ability to cope such that we need to seek help beyond ourselves.
* Prone to covetousness, desiring to be like “her” or “him”.
* Believe that we are unlovable if people knew the real us.
* We are distant, detached, fearful of relationship even with those we love – especially children.
* Believe in the illusion of a “perfect” life until one of our own children gets into trouble.
* Unable to achieve our potential – under-employed, aimless.
* Tend toward addictions.
* Suffer migraines, over-exercise, eating disordered.
* Come from highly dysfunctional, chaotic families (addicted, abusive).
* Paralyzed as a result of subtle, covert dysfunction from our family of origin that we can’t quite name.
* Compared unfavorably to higher achieving siblings; feel guilty or jealous of siblings.
* Walked on eggshells in childhood, neglected or fearful, insecure regarding family stability.
* May have had a lot of material goods without physical or emotional support of parents.
* Spoiled or smothered by misguided love, seduced to stay in the family circle while peers are living adult lives; demand love from others.
* Afraid of authority figures or people are afraid of us; hate others who are different from us.
* Irresponsible with self-care, over-responsible with caretaking of others.
* Despise religion or atheism-fear God or expect him to take care of us.
* Experience abuse as adults – either abused or abusive.
* Limited range of emotional expression- roller coasters or emotionless; suffer from rage or depression.
* Either try too hard or too little; workaholic; never satisfied; suffer as much as we can.
* Try to look “picture perfect”; study others to determine what is “normal”.
* Hate one parent, over-protect the other.
Our childish ways of protecting ourselves are no longer helpful to us as adults – but we keep using these out-dated methodologies. Something needs to change. We need to consider the possibility that it is time to grow wise, mature, and follow God’s call for holy living (holiness – living with nothing hidden).
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Scripture focus: Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call understanding your kinsman; they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words. Proverbs 7:4-5 NIV
John and Linda Friel have researched and documented this material in a book, Adult Children - The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families. As we study what it looks like to life dysfunctionally, I ask you to consider the call of God’s word and his sweet mercy. Our goal is not to wallow in our limitations, but to tell the truth about the symptoms in our lives that indicate our need for God’s healing powers. Adult children of dysfunctional families may experience:
*Pivotal times in our life (ages 28, 39, 47) when there is a greater intensity, pain and confusion about ourselves, our purpose, and our ability to cope such that we need to seek help beyond ourselves.
* Prone to covetousness, desiring to be like “her” or “him”.
* Believe that we are unlovable if people knew the real us.
* We are distant, detached, fearful of relationship even with those we love – especially children.
* Believe in the illusion of a “perfect” life until one of our own children gets into trouble.
* Unable to achieve our potential – under-employed, aimless.
* Tend toward addictions.
* Suffer migraines, over-exercise, eating disordered.
* Come from highly dysfunctional, chaotic families (addicted, abusive).
* Paralyzed as a result of subtle, covert dysfunction from our family of origin that we can’t quite name.
* Compared unfavorably to higher achieving siblings; feel guilty or jealous of siblings.
* Walked on eggshells in childhood, neglected or fearful, insecure regarding family stability.
* May have had a lot of material goods without physical or emotional support of parents.
* Spoiled or smothered by misguided love, seduced to stay in the family circle while peers are living adult lives; demand love from others.
* Afraid of authority figures or people are afraid of us; hate others who are different from us.
* Irresponsible with self-care, over-responsible with caretaking of others.
* Despise religion or atheism-fear God or expect him to take care of us.
* Experience abuse as adults – either abused or abusive.
* Limited range of emotional expression- roller coasters or emotionless; suffer from rage or depression.
* Either try too hard or too little; workaholic; never satisfied; suffer as much as we can.
* Try to look “picture perfect”; study others to determine what is “normal”.
* Hate one parent, over-protect the other.
Our childish ways of protecting ourselves are no longer helpful to us as adults – but we keep using these out-dated methodologies. Something needs to change. We need to consider the possibility that it is time to grow wise, mature, and follow God’s call for holy living (holiness – living with nothing hidden).
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Day 20
Scripture focus: Bind them [God’s commands] on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 7:3 NIV
Clearly, the most obvious commandment of all is to love God and others (as we love ourselves). (The assumption in this statement is that we do, in fact, love ourselves. The presumption is that we know how to love ourselves – appropriate self-care – in a healthy way.)
My closest friends, those who co-parented with Pete and I, are getting old. It is with this experiential background that I can say to you with complete confidence – I agree with Scott when he said, “One struggle I find in applying these passages on wisdom pertains to the fact that I am not always aware of the wisest action in a given situation. Scripture consistently preaches the importance of staying wise, keeping one’s head, but that, like many things, is easier said than done.”
Loving our children, amazingly enough, is easier said than done.
This is true in every family. No one is immune. Norman Rockwell’s beautiful depictions of the perfect family are fiction, works of art. My friend the artist has tutored me on the life of an artist. She paints over imperfections. She starts a canvas and sometimes covers up her first, second and twelfth attempts. As families, we do not have this luxury. I cannot learn my lessons as a parent and then turn back the clock and start over with my children.
Blessings upon blessings, it has been in the field of study of the addicted family system that we have had the most opportunity to learn from our mistakes. Isn’t this amazing? I love how God works!
The remainder of the month will be a peek into the kinds of kids that addicted families are prone to create (with the blessed underlying assumption that God’s grace is more than sufficient to overcome our human limitations).
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Day 19
Scripture focus: Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Proverbs 7:2 NIV
Scott and I have a deeper bond than mother and son. We are also brothers and sisters in Christ; co-laborers in the fields ripe for the harvest. We are joined by a connection that reaches back to the beginning of time. Both come from the imagination of God – who created us as humans who bear the image of our heavenly Father. From this perspective, I am old enough to realize that sometimes we must tumble before we triumph; victory is not always sweet, but mostly sweaty. Scripture teaches us that we enter into the refiner’s fire more than we march like little soldiers in blind compliance to the instructions of a God who prefers obedience over sacrifice (see Micah 6:6-9 for what God really prefers).
It aggravates me when my kids forget to write thank you notes or hang out with girls that have boyfriends back home. I am prone to confusion and may see their lapses in judgment as something I am responsible for unless I continue to remember who I am responsible to (ultimately mostly God).
Notice the subtle shift when I realign my perspective.
No longer am I the guardian of my children’s choices. Suddenly, the focus shifts to my choices as a mother who is responsible to model, guide and instruct.
Oh Lord, have I kept your commands? Am I living in tune with the unforced rhythms of your grace, guided by the voice of the Holy Spirit? Have I guarded your teachings as the apple of my eye?
Inevitably, I discover that the best I can do for my children is to take responsibility for myself. Do you sense my heavy sigh? My children’s stories fascinate and intrigue me. I never tire of studying them. Returning to the place of honest self-reflection is less fascinating and more frustrating than I would care to admit.
More on why our children benefit from less obsessive parenting and more obedience on the part of their parental units tomorrow…
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Scripture focus: Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Proverbs 7:2 NIV
Scott and I have a deeper bond than mother and son. We are also brothers and sisters in Christ; co-laborers in the fields ripe for the harvest. We are joined by a connection that reaches back to the beginning of time. Both come from the imagination of God – who created us as humans who bear the image of our heavenly Father. From this perspective, I am old enough to realize that sometimes we must tumble before we triumph; victory is not always sweet, but mostly sweaty. Scripture teaches us that we enter into the refiner’s fire more than we march like little soldiers in blind compliance to the instructions of a God who prefers obedience over sacrifice (see Micah 6:6-9 for what God really prefers).
It aggravates me when my kids forget to write thank you notes or hang out with girls that have boyfriends back home. I am prone to confusion and may see their lapses in judgment as something I am responsible for unless I continue to remember who I am responsible to (ultimately mostly God).
Notice the subtle shift when I realign my perspective.
No longer am I the guardian of my children’s choices. Suddenly, the focus shifts to my choices as a mother who is responsible to model, guide and instruct.
Oh Lord, have I kept your commands? Am I living in tune with the unforced rhythms of your grace, guided by the voice of the Holy Spirit? Have I guarded your teachings as the apple of my eye?
Inevitably, I discover that the best I can do for my children is to take responsibility for myself. Do you sense my heavy sigh? My children’s stories fascinate and intrigue me. I never tire of studying them. Returning to the place of honest self-reflection is less fascinating and more frustrating than I would care to admit.
More on why our children benefit from less obsessive parenting and more obedience on the part of their parental units tomorrow…
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Day 18
Scripture focus: My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Proverbs 7:1 NIV
Our family has long believed in the concept of co-parenting. One of our friends who joined the team that co-parented Scott was Tom. Tom has a saying, “I find that parenting our children is less about what they learn from us, and more about what we learn from them.” Of course, Tom and the rest of us only came to this marvelous insight after our kids left for college and we resumed the luxury of sleeping through the night.
Long before our children taught us differently, Pete and I thought that one of our responsibilities as parents was to teach our children how to behave. Concepts like: good manners, talking to folks and maintaining eye contact, not poking their siblings’ eyes out with pointy sticks – stuff like that – all seemed very important. And they were! Families who fail to pay attention to modeling, guiding and instructing kids in the fine art of getting along with others often end up with hooligans (or kids who act like they are the parents of their parents) for children.
Parents have a responsibility to their children. But parents are not responsible for the outcome.
Although I would love for my children to learn all of life’s lessons via text message or video – without having to get personally involved in the messiness of life, I know this is not meant to be. Of course, it would be nice if children behaved – even the adult ones.
But the truth is, what I truly value (on days when I am feeling mature and faith-filled) is not so much behaving as believing. I appreciate Scott’s story on many levels, but mostly I appreciate how he engaged his faith in the process and faced his own humanity head on. Would it have been better for him to have taken this class and learned how to seek wisdom through scripture reading and new forms of prayer BEFORE he made his choice with regards to hanging out with a very cute girl who broke his heart? A mother’s heart says yes.
More on why I am not sure that a mother’s heart is the best place to look for answers in tomorrow’s devotional.
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Scripture focus: My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Proverbs 7:1 NIV
Our family has long believed in the concept of co-parenting. One of our friends who joined the team that co-parented Scott was Tom. Tom has a saying, “I find that parenting our children is less about what they learn from us, and more about what we learn from them.” Of course, Tom and the rest of us only came to this marvelous insight after our kids left for college and we resumed the luxury of sleeping through the night.
Long before our children taught us differently, Pete and I thought that one of our responsibilities as parents was to teach our children how to behave. Concepts like: good manners, talking to folks and maintaining eye contact, not poking their siblings’ eyes out with pointy sticks – stuff like that – all seemed very important. And they were! Families who fail to pay attention to modeling, guiding and instructing kids in the fine art of getting along with others often end up with hooligans (or kids who act like they are the parents of their parents) for children.
Parents have a responsibility to their children. But parents are not responsible for the outcome.
Although I would love for my children to learn all of life’s lessons via text message or video – without having to get personally involved in the messiness of life, I know this is not meant to be. Of course, it would be nice if children behaved – even the adult ones.
But the truth is, what I truly value (on days when I am feeling mature and faith-filled) is not so much behaving as believing. I appreciate Scott’s story on many levels, but mostly I appreciate how he engaged his faith in the process and faced his own humanity head on. Would it have been better for him to have taken this class and learned how to seek wisdom through scripture reading and new forms of prayer BEFORE he made his choice with regards to hanging out with a very cute girl who broke his heart? A mother’s heart says yes.
More on why I am not sure that a mother’s heart is the best place to look for answers in tomorrow’s devotional.
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Day 18
Scripture focus: My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Proverbs 7:1 NIV
Our family has long believed in the concept of co-parenting. One of our friends who joined the team that co-parented Scott was Tom. Tom has a saying, “I find that parenting our children is less about what they learn from us, and more about what we learn from them.” Of course, Tom and the rest of us only came to this marvelous insight after our kids left for college and we resumed the luxury of sleeping through the night.
Long before our children taught us differently, Pete and I thought that one of our responsibilities as parents was to teach our children how to behave. Concepts like: good manners, talking to folks and maintaining eye contact, not poking their siblings’ eyes out with pointy sticks – stuff like that – all seemed very important. And they were! Families who fail to pay attention to modeling, guiding and instructing kids in the fine art of getting along with others often end up with hooligans (or kids who act like they are the parents of their parents) for children.
Parents have a responsibility to their children. But parents are not responsible for the outcome.
Although I would love for my children to learn all of life’s lessons via text message or video – without having to get personally involved in the messiness of life, I know this is not meant to be. Of course, it would be nice if children behaved – even the adult ones.
But the truth is, what I truly value (on days when I am feeling mature and faith-filled) is not so much behaving as believing. I appreciate Scott’s story on many levels, but mostly I appreciate how he engaged his faith in the process and faced his own humanity head on. Would it have been better for him to have taken this class and learned how to seek wisdom through scripture reading and new forms of prayer BEFORE he made his choice with regards to hanging out with a very cute girl who broke his heart? A mother’s heart says yes.
More on why I am not sure that a mother’s heart is the best place to look for answers in tomorrow’s devotional.
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Scripture focus: My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Proverbs 7:1 NIV
Our family has long believed in the concept of co-parenting. One of our friends who joined the team that co-parented Scott was Tom. Tom has a saying, “I find that parenting our children is less about what they learn from us, and more about what we learn from them.” Of course, Tom and the rest of us only came to this marvelous insight after our kids left for college and we resumed the luxury of sleeping through the night.
Long before our children taught us differently, Pete and I thought that one of our responsibilities as parents was to teach our children how to behave. Concepts like: good manners, talking to folks and maintaining eye contact, not poking their siblings’ eyes out with pointy sticks – stuff like that – all seemed very important. And they were! Families who fail to pay attention to modeling, guiding and instructing kids in the fine art of getting along with others often end up with hooligans (or kids who act like they are the parents of their parents) for children.
Parents have a responsibility to their children. But parents are not responsible for the outcome.
Although I would love for my children to learn all of life’s lessons via text message or video – without having to get personally involved in the messiness of life, I know this is not meant to be. Of course, it would be nice if children behaved – even the adult ones.
But the truth is, what I truly value (on days when I am feeling mature and faith-filled) is not so much behaving as believing. I appreciate Scott’s story on many levels, but mostly I appreciate how he engaged his faith in the process and faced his own humanity head on. Would it have been better for him to have taken this class and learned how to seek wisdom through scripture reading and new forms of prayer BEFORE he made his choice with regards to hanging out with a very cute girl who broke his heart? A mother’s heart says yes.
More on why I am not sure that a mother’s heart is the best place to look for answers in tomorrow’s devotional.
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
July 17
Scripture focus: Then Job answered the LORD and said,
"I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?'
"Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."
'Hear, now, and I will speak;
I will ask You, and You instruct me.'
"I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You;
Therefore I retract,
And I repent in dust and ashes." Job 42:1-6
I find it easy to live out my faith in a complacent fashion. I find it particularly easy to absolve myself of any responsibility as I prepare for ministry within the context of seminary. Perhaps on a subconscious level it seems like I am devoting the rest of my life to God and as long as I limit the flagrancy of my offenses against him then I am relatively in the clear. The study of scripture has served as a humbling reminder of my existence both in relationship to him and the larger context of the Christian community.
On an individual level, these scriptures provided me with a more refined view of the interplay between wisdom and emotion while further providing a framework for re-learning how to interact with God in prayer. I desire to stay in close contact with God through prayer and study so as to provide myself with the best possible opportunity to interact wisely. While the importance of the individual nature of my relationship with God should not be underscored, these scriptures further serve as a much-needed reminder than I exist as a small piece of God’s creation. His interaction with creation is not limited to answering my prayers. Also, the way God relates to people and creation often remains mysterious. In the past, this realization served as something which I used to distance myself from him, and now it draws me close.
May you be drawn close in whatever circumstance you find yourself today. swm
This concludes Scott’s portion of the July devotional study. If you’d like to ask Scott questions or offer up a personal comment or two, you can reach Scott through the NSC website (info@northstarcommunity.com). Our administrator will happily forward all your personal inquiries to him!
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Scripture focus: Then Job answered the LORD and said,
"I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?'
"Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."
'Hear, now, and I will speak;
I will ask You, and You instruct me.'
"I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You;
Therefore I retract,
And I repent in dust and ashes." Job 42:1-6
I find it easy to live out my faith in a complacent fashion. I find it particularly easy to absolve myself of any responsibility as I prepare for ministry within the context of seminary. Perhaps on a subconscious level it seems like I am devoting the rest of my life to God and as long as I limit the flagrancy of my offenses against him then I am relatively in the clear. The study of scripture has served as a humbling reminder of my existence both in relationship to him and the larger context of the Christian community.
On an individual level, these scriptures provided me with a more refined view of the interplay between wisdom and emotion while further providing a framework for re-learning how to interact with God in prayer. I desire to stay in close contact with God through prayer and study so as to provide myself with the best possible opportunity to interact wisely. While the importance of the individual nature of my relationship with God should not be underscored, these scriptures further serve as a much-needed reminder than I exist as a small piece of God’s creation. His interaction with creation is not limited to answering my prayers. Also, the way God relates to people and creation often remains mysterious. In the past, this realization served as something which I used to distance myself from him, and now it draws me close.
May you be drawn close in whatever circumstance you find yourself today. swm
This concludes Scott’s portion of the July devotional study. If you’d like to ask Scott questions or offer up a personal comment or two, you can reach Scott through the NSC website (info@northstarcommunity.com). Our administrator will happily forward all your personal inquiries to him!
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
July 16
Scripture focus: He said,
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
And naked I shall return there
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the LORD."
Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God. Job 1:21-22 New American Standard Bible
In terms of God’s relationship with individuals, the most profound example comes from Job. After spending much time complaining to God about the lack of justice in his circumstances, God reminds Job of a few things. He emphasizes his power as creator in addition to the human inability to fully comprehend God’s infinite nature. God’s speech reminds Job of his place in the universe; that he merely represents one part of God’s vast creation. I find this speech interesting, as Job 1 and 2 do not indicate that the adversary (In Hebrew- the word that gets translated as Satan here is not actually a name, just a word meaning “adversary”) afflicted Job while God’s attention rested elsewhere.
Instead God himself pointed the adversary, or accuser, in Job’s direction because of his holy and blameless nature. Thus, it confuses me that God’s argument centers on Job’s place in the universe, as God himself singled Job out for this treatment. Either way God’s argument only serves as a partial explanation for what Job endured. As such, in applying this to my own set of circumstances, this is all I have to work with. In no way do I suspect that God singled me out for punishment and would never place myself in Job’s class as a blameless and upright man.
However, the book does serve as yet another useful reminder of my place in the universe. I must maintain a sense of perspective about my own problems within the context of what happens within both God’s people and the rest of the world. swm
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Scripture focus: He said,
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
And naked I shall return there
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the LORD."
Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God. Job 1:21-22 New American Standard Bible
In terms of God’s relationship with individuals, the most profound example comes from Job. After spending much time complaining to God about the lack of justice in his circumstances, God reminds Job of a few things. He emphasizes his power as creator in addition to the human inability to fully comprehend God’s infinite nature. God’s speech reminds Job of his place in the universe; that he merely represents one part of God’s vast creation. I find this speech interesting, as Job 1 and 2 do not indicate that the adversary (In Hebrew- the word that gets translated as Satan here is not actually a name, just a word meaning “adversary”) afflicted Job while God’s attention rested elsewhere.
Instead God himself pointed the adversary, or accuser, in Job’s direction because of his holy and blameless nature. Thus, it confuses me that God’s argument centers on Job’s place in the universe, as God himself singled Job out for this treatment. Either way God’s argument only serves as a partial explanation for what Job endured. As such, in applying this to my own set of circumstances, this is all I have to work with. In no way do I suspect that God singled me out for punishment and would never place myself in Job’s class as a blameless and upright man.
However, the book does serve as yet another useful reminder of my place in the universe. I must maintain a sense of perspective about my own problems within the context of what happens within both God’s people and the rest of the world. swm
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
July 15
Scripture focus: For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot,
And like a root out of parched ground;
He has no stately form or majesty
That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
He was despised and forsaken of men,
A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
And like one from whom men hide their face
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;
Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten of God, and afflicted.
But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.
All of us like sheep have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way;
But the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all
To fall on Him.
He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He did not open His mouth;
Like a lamb that is led to slaughter,
And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
So He did not open His mouth.
By oppression and judgment He was taken away;
And as for His generation, who considered
That He was cut off out of the land of the living
For the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due?
His grave was assigned with wicked men,
Yet He was with a rich man in His death,
Because He had done no violence,
Nor was there any deceit in His mouth.
But the LORD was pleased
To crush Him, putting Him to grief;
If He would render Himself as a guilt offering,
He will see His offspring,
He will prolong His days,
And the good pleasure of the LORD will prosper in His hand.
As a result of the anguish of His soul,
He will see it and be satisfied;
By His knowledge the Righteous One,
My Servant, will justify the many,
As He will bear their iniquities.
Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great,
And He will divide the booty with the strong;
Because He poured out Himself to death,
And was numbered with the transgressors;
Yet He Himself bore the sin of many,
And interceded for the transgressors. Isaiah 53:2-12
In some ways, the book of Esther may serve as a counter to this view of God and his relationship to his people. While a variety of religious implications exist within this book, God’s involvement in this story remains a mystery. God’s people are both persecuted and yet protected, and though his involvement may be inferred from this protection, the author never makes this explicit. Occasionally, then, scripture portrays God as one working behind the scenes rather than one tyrannically controlling every situation. It serves as a witness of God’s power and presence even when he does not choose to act. For me, this became a helpful theme to remember. Even though I could not discern God’s specific level of activity in my life I could recognize and appreciate that he still existed somewhere; both in the world and with his people. swm
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
July 14
Scripture focus: Bless the LORD, O my soul!
O LORD my God, You are very great;
You are clothed with splendor and majesty,
Covering Yourself with light as with a cloak,
Stretching out heaven like a tent curtain.
He lays the beams of His upper chambers in the waters;
He makes the clouds His chariot;
He walks upon the wings of the wind;
He makes the winds His messengers,
Flaming fire His ministers.
He established the earth upon its foundations,
So that it will not totter forever and ever.
You covered it with the deep as with a garment;
The waters were standing above the mountains.
At Your rebuke they fled,
At the sound of Your thunder they hurried away.
The mountains rose; the valleys sank down
To the place which You established for them.
You set a boundary that they may not pass over,
So that they will not return to cover the earth.
He sends forth springs in the valleys;
They flow between the mountains;
They give drink to every beast of the field;
The wild donkeys quench their thirst.
Beside them the birds of the heavens dwell;
They lift up their voices among the branches.
He waters the mountains from His upper chambers;
The earth is satisfied with the fruit of His works.
He causes the grass to grow for the cattle,
And vegetation for the labor of man,
So that he may bring forth food from the earth,
And wine which makes man's heart glad,
So that he may make his face glisten with oil,
And food which sustains man's heart.
The trees of the LORD drink their fill,
The cedars of Lebanon which He planted,
Where the birds build their nests,
And the stork, whose home is the fir trees.
The high mountains are for the wild goats;
The cliffs are a refuge for the shephanim.
He made the moon for the seasons;
The sun knows the place of its setting.
You appoint darkness and it becomes night,
In which all the beasts of the forest prowl about.
The young lions roar after their prey
And seek their food from God.
When the sun rises they withdraw
And lie down in their dens.
Man goes forth to his work
And to his labor until evening.
O LORD, how many are Your works!
In wisdom You have made them all;
The earth is full of Your possessions.
There is the sea, great and broad,
In which are swarms without number,
Animals both small and great.
There the ships move along,
And Leviathan, which You have formed to sport in it.
They all wait for You
To give them their food in due season.
You give to them, they gather it up;
You open Your hand, they are satisfied with good.
You hide Your face, they are dismayed;
You take away their spirit, they expire
And return to their dust.
You send forth Your Spirit, they are created;
And You renew the face of the ground.
Let the glory of the LORD endure forever;
Let the LORD be glad in His works;
He looks at the earth, and it trembles;
He touches the mountains, and they smoke.
I will sing to the LORD as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.
Let my meditation be pleasing to Him;
As for me, I shall be glad in the LORD.
Let sinners be consumed from the earth
And let the wicked be no more
Bless the LORD, O my soul
Praise the LORD! Psalm 104
The Psalms repeatedly serve as examples of corporate prayer. They never lose sight of the fact that we exist as part of God’s people and not merely as a collection of individuals worshiping God in isolation. Psalms such as 104 also offer glimpses of God’s interaction with his people. This psalm in particular demonstrates his role not only as the creator, but also the one who maintains creation, including humans. Thus it indicates an intimate involvement between God, creation, and mankind. It serves as a helpful reminder to know that I exist as part of something much broader than myself. God may be intimately involved and connected with his people even when I do not perceive this connection for myself on an individual, personal level. swm
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Scripture focus: Bless the LORD, O my soul!
O LORD my God, You are very great;
You are clothed with splendor and majesty,
Covering Yourself with light as with a cloak,
Stretching out heaven like a tent curtain.
He lays the beams of His upper chambers in the waters;
He makes the clouds His chariot;
He walks upon the wings of the wind;
He makes the winds His messengers,
Flaming fire His ministers.
He established the earth upon its foundations,
So that it will not totter forever and ever.
You covered it with the deep as with a garment;
The waters were standing above the mountains.
At Your rebuke they fled,
At the sound of Your thunder they hurried away.
The mountains rose; the valleys sank down
To the place which You established for them.
You set a boundary that they may not pass over,
So that they will not return to cover the earth.
He sends forth springs in the valleys;
They flow between the mountains;
They give drink to every beast of the field;
The wild donkeys quench their thirst.
Beside them the birds of the heavens dwell;
They lift up their voices among the branches.
He waters the mountains from His upper chambers;
The earth is satisfied with the fruit of His works.
He causes the grass to grow for the cattle,
And vegetation for the labor of man,
So that he may bring forth food from the earth,
And wine which makes man's heart glad,
So that he may make his face glisten with oil,
And food which sustains man's heart.
The trees of the LORD drink their fill,
The cedars of Lebanon which He planted,
Where the birds build their nests,
And the stork, whose home is the fir trees.
The high mountains are for the wild goats;
The cliffs are a refuge for the shephanim.
He made the moon for the seasons;
The sun knows the place of its setting.
You appoint darkness and it becomes night,
In which all the beasts of the forest prowl about.
The young lions roar after their prey
And seek their food from God.
When the sun rises they withdraw
And lie down in their dens.
Man goes forth to his work
And to his labor until evening.
O LORD, how many are Your works!
In wisdom You have made them all;
The earth is full of Your possessions.
There is the sea, great and broad,
In which are swarms without number,
Animals both small and great.
There the ships move along,
And Leviathan, which You have formed to sport in it.
They all wait for You
To give them their food in due season.
You give to them, they gather it up;
You open Your hand, they are satisfied with good.
You hide Your face, they are dismayed;
You take away their spirit, they expire
And return to their dust.
You send forth Your Spirit, they are created;
And You renew the face of the ground.
Let the glory of the LORD endure forever;
Let the LORD be glad in His works;
He looks at the earth, and it trembles;
He touches the mountains, and they smoke.
I will sing to the LORD as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.
Let my meditation be pleasing to Him;
As for me, I shall be glad in the LORD.
Let sinners be consumed from the earth
And let the wicked be no more
Bless the LORD, O my soul
Praise the LORD! Psalm 104
The Psalms repeatedly serve as examples of corporate prayer. They never lose sight of the fact that we exist as part of God’s people and not merely as a collection of individuals worshiping God in isolation. Psalms such as 104 also offer glimpses of God’s interaction with his people. This psalm in particular demonstrates his role not only as the creator, but also the one who maintains creation, including humans. Thus it indicates an intimate involvement between God, creation, and mankind. It serves as a helpful reminder to know that I exist as part of something much broader than myself. God may be intimately involved and connected with his people even when I do not perceive this connection for myself on an individual, personal level. swm
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
July 13
Scripture focus: Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth.
Serve the LORD with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the LORD Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the LORD is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100
In this process of seeking wisdom, questioning God, and revolutionizing my prayer life, the various presentations of God’s presence in the world as exhibited in the writings of scripture also proved formative in my development. In such times as the ones mentioned previously, devoting oneself to morbid self-attention often seems a natural by-product of self-doubt and large doses of suffering. I was no exception. The Writings counter this mentality by offering forth a myriad of varying examples of how God interacts in the world. Ultimately, the world does not revolve around me. The sun does not rise and set at my convenience. swm
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July 12
Scripture focus: O come, let us sing for joy to the LORD,
Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.
Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving,
Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.
For the LORD is a great God
And a great King above all gods,
In whose hand are the depths of the earth,
The peaks of the mountains are His also.
The sea is His, for it was He who made it,
And His hands formed the dry land.
Come, let us worship and bow down,
Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker.
For He is our God,
And we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand
Today, if you would hear His voice,
Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah,
As in the day of Massah in the wilderness,
"When your fathers tested Me,
They tried Me, though they had seen My work.
"For forty years I loathed that generation,
And said they are a people who err in their heart,
And they do not know My ways.
"Therefore I swore in My anger,
Truly they shall not enter into My rest." Psalm 95
One of the blessings I have discovered in the study of scripture is that there absolutely is a place for big emotions in the kingdom of God. I believe that one can only lament to the same extent to which he or she expresses a willingness to praise (just my personal opinion). One cannot simply complain about God’s lack of action for all of the negative aspects of life while taking all of the credit, or simply not acknowledging any credit, for the positive things that transpire. In the aftermath of my situation, it became abundantly clear that God saved me from a potentially lifelong mistake, he provided me with money which helped me in my housing crisis, car and computer situation, and he allowed my grandmother to pass quickly so as not to suffer. Because I spent so much time lamenting, it is vital that I offer praise and thanksgiving in the resolution of each of these situations. I found Psalms 95, 100, and 104 particularly useful in teaching me to offer forth this kind of prayer. They continually reminded me of God’s greatness even in trying circumstances. He is who he is regardless of what happens to me, and I am still a part of his people. swm
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Scripture focus: O come, let us sing for joy to the LORD,
Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.
Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving,
Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.
For the LORD is a great God
And a great King above all gods,
In whose hand are the depths of the earth,
The peaks of the mountains are His also.
The sea is His, for it was He who made it,
And His hands formed the dry land.
Come, let us worship and bow down,
Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker.
For He is our God,
And we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand
Today, if you would hear His voice,
Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah,
As in the day of Massah in the wilderness,
"When your fathers tested Me,
They tried Me, though they had seen My work.
"For forty years I loathed that generation,
And said they are a people who err in their heart,
And they do not know My ways.
"Therefore I swore in My anger,
Truly they shall not enter into My rest." Psalm 95
One of the blessings I have discovered in the study of scripture is that there absolutely is a place for big emotions in the kingdom of God. I believe that one can only lament to the same extent to which he or she expresses a willingness to praise (just my personal opinion). One cannot simply complain about God’s lack of action for all of the negative aspects of life while taking all of the credit, or simply not acknowledging any credit, for the positive things that transpire. In the aftermath of my situation, it became abundantly clear that God saved me from a potentially lifelong mistake, he provided me with money which helped me in my housing crisis, car and computer situation, and he allowed my grandmother to pass quickly so as not to suffer. Because I spent so much time lamenting, it is vital that I offer praise and thanksgiving in the resolution of each of these situations. I found Psalms 95, 100, and 104 particularly useful in teaching me to offer forth this kind of prayer. They continually reminded me of God’s greatness even in trying circumstances. He is who he is regardless of what happens to me, and I am still a part of his people. swm
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July 11
Scripture focus: This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. My eyes pour down unceasingly,without stopping, until the LORD looks down and sees from heaven. My eyes bring pain to my soul because of all the daughters of my city. You have heard my voice, "Do not hide Your ear from my prayer for relief, from my cry for help." Lamentations 3:21, 49-51, 56
Lamentations functions similarly to the lamenting Psalms I discussed in previous entries.
The author cries out to God and expects action.
Interestingly, the author here seems to understand that he/she has some level of responsibility for his/her circumstances. The author mentions the sins of Jerusalem in such places as 1:8, 3:42, 4:13, and 5:7 and seems to indicate personal sin in 1:14 and 18.
One can assume then, that neither an individual nor God can take full responsibility for circumstances. Blaming God and crying out to him may be acceptable, but it is important not to overlook one’s own role in arriving at a particular position. Most of the circumstances mentioned above were matters outside of my control. The one situation over which I did possess some level of control took the harshest toll on my emotions. (At least in the short-term, the grieving process with respect to my grandmother is farther reaching and longer lasting). In my laments to God, I find it important to take responsibility for my actions rather than simply shaking my finger at the clouds. swm
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July 10
Scripture focus:
I said, "I will guard my ways
That I may not sin with my tongue;
I will guard my mouth as with a muzzle
While the wicked are in my presence."
I was mute and silent,
I refrained even from good,
And my sorrow grew worse.
My heart was hot within me,
While I was musing the fire burned;
Then I spoke with my tongue:
"LORD, make me to know my end
And what is the extent of my days;
Let me know how transient I am.
"Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths,
And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight;
Surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Selah.
"Surely every man walks about as a phantom;
Surely they make an uproar for nothing;
He amasses riches and does not know who will gather them.
"And now, Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in You.
"Deliver me from all my transgressions;
Make me not the reproach of the foolish.
"I have become mute, I do not open my mouth,
Because it is You who have done it.
"Remove Your plague from me;
Because of the opposition of Your hand I am perishing.
"With reproofs You chasten a man for iniquity;
You consume as a moth what is precious to him;
Surely every man is a mere breath. Selah.
"Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear to my cry;
Do not be silent at my tears;
For I am a stranger with You,
A sojourner like all my fathers.
"Turn Your gaze away from me, that I may smile again
Before I depart and am no more." Psalm 39
In baseball, if a player goes an extended period of time without getting a hit, the tension amongst his fans builds as they anticipate his next hit. Technically, it is perfectly plausible that this person will never hit again but fans have faith that it will happen. (This analogy could also work for “football” players and scoring goals, if that helps during this season of World Cup.) These Psalms seem to work in much the same way. Tension builds in the times where God does not act but the Psalmist (I use this word because the authorship of the Psalms is not entirely clear, and probably rests with more than one person) never seems to lose hope that he will act. Or perhaps, at the very least, the Psalmist does not lose faith in God’s ability to act. I have a responsibility to cry out in both lament and hope during times of distress. This will look different for each person so don’t hesitate to embrace the approach that feels most natural for you. swm
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Scripture focus:
I said, "I will guard my ways
That I may not sin with my tongue;
I will guard my mouth as with a muzzle
While the wicked are in my presence."
I was mute and silent,
I refrained even from good,
And my sorrow grew worse.
My heart was hot within me,
While I was musing the fire burned;
Then I spoke with my tongue:
"LORD, make me to know my end
And what is the extent of my days;
Let me know how transient I am.
"Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths,
And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight;
Surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Selah.
"Surely every man walks about as a phantom;
Surely they make an uproar for nothing;
He amasses riches and does not know who will gather them.
"And now, Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in You.
"Deliver me from all my transgressions;
Make me not the reproach of the foolish.
"I have become mute, I do not open my mouth,
Because it is You who have done it.
"Remove Your plague from me;
Because of the opposition of Your hand I am perishing.
"With reproofs You chasten a man for iniquity;
You consume as a moth what is precious to him;
Surely every man is a mere breath. Selah.
"Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear to my cry;
Do not be silent at my tears;
For I am a stranger with You,
A sojourner like all my fathers.
"Turn Your gaze away from me, that I may smile again
Before I depart and am no more." Psalm 39
In baseball, if a player goes an extended period of time without getting a hit, the tension amongst his fans builds as they anticipate his next hit. Technically, it is perfectly plausible that this person will never hit again but fans have faith that it will happen. (This analogy could also work for “football” players and scoring goals, if that helps during this season of World Cup.) These Psalms seem to work in much the same way. Tension builds in the times where God does not act but the Psalmist (I use this word because the authorship of the Psalms is not entirely clear, and probably rests with more than one person) never seems to lose hope that he will act. Or perhaps, at the very least, the Psalmist does not lose faith in God’s ability to act. I have a responsibility to cry out in both lament and hope during times of distress. This will look different for each person so don’t hesitate to embrace the approach that feels most natural for you. swm
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July 9
Scripture focus: My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning. O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; and by night, but I have no rest. Yet You are holy, O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel. In You our fathers trusted; they trusted and You delivered them. To You they cried out and were delivered; in You they trusted and were not disappointed. But I am a worm and not a man, a reproach of men and despised by the people. All who see me sneer at me; they separate with the lip, they wag the head, saying, "Commit yourself to the LORD; let Him deliver him; let Him rescue him, because He delights in him."
Yet You are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother's breasts. Upon You I was cast from birth; you have been my God from my mother's womb. Be not far from me, for trouble is near; for there is none to help. Psalm 22:1-11
Somewhere along the line I constructed a theology which protects God, though it seems abundantly clear now that he neither needs nor desires my protection.
Surely God does not care to hear me whine about my problems.
I remember how I desired to explain to people after such instances as the shooting that took place while I was at Virginia Tech that God was not responsible.
Ultimately, I was afraid of the reality that God does possess some level of responsibility during times of suffering. The Psalms illustrate that while human sinfulness may act as the most immediate cause of a given circumstance, God ultimately possesses the power to intervene.
Because he has this power, the Psalms indicate that it is okay to cry out and request this intervention, or even more drastically, to assess blame.
Prior, I found myself too invested in maintaining God’s appearance as one above reproach to allow myself to fully relate and engage him in this way.
The Psalms and my prayer life took on new vitality as I began to pray them myself rather than reading them simply as another person’s prayers. Not only do these Psalms indicate that lament serves as an acceptable form of prayer, but they also contain hope and an expectancy of God’s action. swm
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Scripture focus: My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning. O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; and by night, but I have no rest. Yet You are holy, O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel. In You our fathers trusted; they trusted and You delivered them. To You they cried out and were delivered; in You they trusted and were not disappointed. But I am a worm and not a man, a reproach of men and despised by the people. All who see me sneer at me; they separate with the lip, they wag the head, saying, "Commit yourself to the LORD; let Him deliver him; let Him rescue him, because He delights in him."
Yet You are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother's breasts. Upon You I was cast from birth; you have been my God from my mother's womb. Be not far from me, for trouble is near; for there is none to help. Psalm 22:1-11
Somewhere along the line I constructed a theology which protects God, though it seems abundantly clear now that he neither needs nor desires my protection.
Surely God does not care to hear me whine about my problems.
I remember how I desired to explain to people after such instances as the shooting that took place while I was at Virginia Tech that God was not responsible.
Ultimately, I was afraid of the reality that God does possess some level of responsibility during times of suffering. The Psalms illustrate that while human sinfulness may act as the most immediate cause of a given circumstance, God ultimately possesses the power to intervene.
Because he has this power, the Psalms indicate that it is okay to cry out and request this intervention, or even more drastically, to assess blame.
Prior, I found myself too invested in maintaining God’s appearance as one above reproach to allow myself to fully relate and engage him in this way.
The Psalms and my prayer life took on new vitality as I began to pray them myself rather than reading them simply as another person’s prayers. Not only do these Psalms indicate that lament serves as an acceptable form of prayer, but they also contain hope and an expectancy of God’s action. swm
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July 8
Scripture focus: Why do You stand afar off, O LORD? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble? In pride the wicked hotly pursue the afflicted; Let them be caught in the plots which they have devised. For the wicked boasts of his heart's desire, and the greedy man curses and spurns the LORD. The wicked, in the haughtiness of his countenance, does not seek Him all his thoughts are, "There is no God." His ways prosper at all times; your judgments are on high, out of his sight; as for all his adversaries, he snorts at them. 6He says to himself, "I will not be moved; throughout all generations I will not be in adversity." His mouth is full of curses and deceit and oppression; under his tongue is mischief and wickedness. He sits in the lurking places of the villages; in the hiding places he kills the innocent; his eyes stealthily watch for the unfortunate. He lurks in a hiding place as a lion in his lair; He lurks to catch the afflicted; He catches the afflicted when he draws him into his net. He crouches, he bows down, and the unfortunate fall by his mighty ones. He says to himself, "God has forgotten; He has hidden His face; He will never see it." Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up Your hand do not forget the afflicted. Why has the wicked spurned God? He has said to himself, "You will not require it." You have seen it, for You have beheld mischief and vexation to take it into Your hand.
The unfortunate commits himself to You; You have been the helper of the orphan. Break the arm of the wicked and the evildoer, seek out his wickedness until You find none. The LORD is King forever and ever; nations have perished from His land. O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear to vindicate the orphan and the oppressed, So that man who is of the earth will no longer cause terror. Psalm 10
The catalyst for my season of self-reflection began with a broken heart skillfully pierced on the night before I flew home to visit my grandmother who was in the process of dying unexpectedly in the hospital. I also found out the day prior that my rooming situation was changing and I had no promising leads on a new home. And my car broke down. And my computer crashed. Each of these situations on its own may have been somewhat manageable, but I found the combination overwhelming. I needed to cry out to God but I would not allow myself to do so. Have you ever resisted a good cry out to God? swm
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Scripture focus: Why do You stand afar off, O LORD? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble? In pride the wicked hotly pursue the afflicted; Let them be caught in the plots which they have devised. For the wicked boasts of his heart's desire, and the greedy man curses and spurns the LORD. The wicked, in the haughtiness of his countenance, does not seek Him all his thoughts are, "There is no God." His ways prosper at all times; your judgments are on high, out of his sight; as for all his adversaries, he snorts at them. 6He says to himself, "I will not be moved; throughout all generations I will not be in adversity." His mouth is full of curses and deceit and oppression; under his tongue is mischief and wickedness. He sits in the lurking places of the villages; in the hiding places he kills the innocent; his eyes stealthily watch for the unfortunate. He lurks in a hiding place as a lion in his lair; He lurks to catch the afflicted; He catches the afflicted when he draws him into his net. He crouches, he bows down, and the unfortunate fall by his mighty ones. He says to himself, "God has forgotten; He has hidden His face; He will never see it." Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up Your hand do not forget the afflicted. Why has the wicked spurned God? He has said to himself, "You will not require it." You have seen it, for You have beheld mischief and vexation to take it into Your hand.
The unfortunate commits himself to You; You have been the helper of the orphan. Break the arm of the wicked and the evildoer, seek out his wickedness until You find none. The LORD is King forever and ever; nations have perished from His land. O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear to vindicate the orphan and the oppressed, So that man who is of the earth will no longer cause terror. Psalm 10
The catalyst for my season of self-reflection began with a broken heart skillfully pierced on the night before I flew home to visit my grandmother who was in the process of dying unexpectedly in the hospital. I also found out the day prior that my rooming situation was changing and I had no promising leads on a new home. And my car broke down. And my computer crashed. Each of these situations on its own may have been somewhat manageable, but I found the combination overwhelming. I needed to cry out to God but I would not allow myself to do so. Have you ever resisted a good cry out to God? swm
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July 7
Scripture focus: My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor, have given a pledge for a stranger, if you have been snared with the words of your mouth, have been caught with the words of your mouth, do this then, my son, and deliver yourself; since you have come into the hand of your neighbor, go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor. Give no sleep to your eyes, nor slumber to your eyelids; deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hunter's hand and like a bird from the hand of the fowler. Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise, which, having no chief, officer or ruler, prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest. How long will you lie down, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest"-- Your poverty will come in like a vagabond and your need like an armed man.
A worthless person, a wicked man, is the one who walks with a perverse mouth, who winks with his eyes, who signals with his feet, who points with his fingers; who with perversity in his heart continually devises evil, who spreads strife. Therefore his calamity will come suddenly; instantly he will be broken and there will be no healing. There are six things which the LORD hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers. My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; bind them continually on your heart; tie them around your neck.
When you walk about, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk to you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; and reproofs for discipline are the way of life to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her capture you with her eyelids. For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals nd his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her will not go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry; but when he is found, he must repay sevenfold; He must give all the substance of his house. The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, and his reproach will not be blotted out. For jealousy enrages a man, and he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not accept any ransom, nor will he be satisfied though you give many gifts. Proverbs 6 New American Standard Bible
One struggle I find in applying these passages on wisdom pertains to the fact that I am not always aware of the wisest action in a given situation. Scripture consistently preaches the importance of staying wise, keeping one’s head, but that, like many things, is easier said than done.
I suppose this is where staying in daily contact with God, and prayerfully considering situations as Proverbs instructs comes into play. In my case, the situation granted me several opportunities to behave wisely and I blatantly neglected to do so. Thus I strive to take to heart these lessons concerning wisdom as it relates to emotion. God clearly instructs us to harness our emotions to some extent, and I do not suspect he would ask us to do something he has not given us the capacity to carry out. So, more broadly, God seems to desire emotional responsibility in how we relate to others. swm
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Scripture focus: My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor, have given a pledge for a stranger, if you have been snared with the words of your mouth, have been caught with the words of your mouth, do this then, my son, and deliver yourself; since you have come into the hand of your neighbor, go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor. Give no sleep to your eyes, nor slumber to your eyelids; deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hunter's hand and like a bird from the hand of the fowler. Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise, which, having no chief, officer or ruler, prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest. How long will you lie down, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest"-- Your poverty will come in like a vagabond and your need like an armed man.
A worthless person, a wicked man, is the one who walks with a perverse mouth, who winks with his eyes, who signals with his feet, who points with his fingers; who with perversity in his heart continually devises evil, who spreads strife. Therefore his calamity will come suddenly; instantly he will be broken and there will be no healing. There are six things which the LORD hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers. My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; bind them continually on your heart; tie them around your neck.
When you walk about, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk to you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; and reproofs for discipline are the way of life to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her capture you with her eyelids. For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals nd his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her will not go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry; but when he is found, he must repay sevenfold; He must give all the substance of his house. The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, and his reproach will not be blotted out. For jealousy enrages a man, and he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not accept any ransom, nor will he be satisfied though you give many gifts. Proverbs 6 New American Standard Bible
One struggle I find in applying these passages on wisdom pertains to the fact that I am not always aware of the wisest action in a given situation. Scripture consistently preaches the importance of staying wise, keeping one’s head, but that, like many things, is easier said than done.
I suppose this is where staying in daily contact with God, and prayerfully considering situations as Proverbs instructs comes into play. In my case, the situation granted me several opportunities to behave wisely and I blatantly neglected to do so. Thus I strive to take to heart these lessons concerning wisdom as it relates to emotion. God clearly instructs us to harness our emotions to some extent, and I do not suspect he would ask us to do something he has not given us the capacity to carry out. So, more broadly, God seems to desire emotional responsibility in how we relate to others. swm
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July 6
Scripture focus: All that my eyes desired I did not refuse them I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart was pleased because of all my labor and this was my reward for all my labor. Ecclesiastes 2:10
These themes of wisdom and responsibility continue in the book of Ecclesiastes. Chapter two speaks to the difficulty of seeking satisfaction through self-indulgence while reminding readers of the importance and the benefits of pleasing God.
During my season of distress, I have taken the time to read and pray and reflect upon what’s really going on with me. I cannot claim that I exerted much effort into pleasing God in any area of life.
However, I find relief in chapter nine of Ecclesiastes where the author writes that there is a time and season for everything. I understand that, in some ways, I have not behaved up to these standards of wisdom seen in scripture.
Although I can’t find much good in myself at the moment, I cannot ignore the gratitude I feel for the temporary nature of my consequences. Time and the support of my community have provided me with a little perspective. This story could have ended up a lot worse; I could have gotten the object of my desire. I suppose that it is common sense to know that time has a way of moving on, but seeing it explicitly written in scripture proves comforting. There is a time and a season for everything... swm
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July 5
Scripture focus: Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding, for I give you sound teaching; do not abandon my instruction. When I was a son to my father, tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, then he taught me and said to me, "Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live; acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding! Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth. "Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; love her, and she will watch over you. "The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get understanding. "Prize her, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. "She will place on your head a garland of grace; she will present you with a crown of beauty." Hear, my son, and accept my sayings and the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths. When you walk, your steps will not be impeded; and if you run, you will not stumble. Take hold of instruction; do not let go guard her, for she is your life. Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; turn away from it and pass on. For they cannot sleep unless they do evil; and they are robbed of sleep unless they make someone stumble. For they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence. But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day. The way of the wicked is like darkness; they do not know over what they stumble. My son, give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your sight; keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life to those who find them and health to all their body. Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious speech far from you. Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right nor to the left; turn your foot from evil. Proverbs 4
One of the books I read in my class was Song of Solomon. I cannot decide if the Song of Solomon corroborates or contradicts these themes of wisdom and restraint. The book certainly addresses the intoxicating nature of love and its affects. Thus, scripture acknowledges the power of these emotions and keeping them under control would, by connection, prove no easy task.
I’m appreciative that this evocative text was in my syllabus. If not, maybe I would have confused wisdom with stuffing my emotions. Clearly, this is not God’s intent. Here’s what I’m thinking:
* Emotions are powerful and sometimes even addicting.
* Self-control is not easy.
* Powerful emotions are not bad things nor should they be ignored.
* Our emotions are a gift.
* Our emotions must be handled with care.
* I can’t guarantee that my emotions will not rule me, so I need help. swm
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July 4
Scripture focus: My son, give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding; that you may observe discretion and your lips may reserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life; her ways are unstable, she does not know it. Now then, my sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house, or you will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one; and strangers will be filled with your strength and your hard-earned goods will go to the house of an alien; and you groan at your final end, when your flesh and your body are consumed; and you say, "How I have hated instruction! And my heart spurned reproof! "I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, nor inclined my ear to my instructors! "I was almost in utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation." Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? 7Let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the LORD, and He watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray. Proverbs 5
Proverbs stresses again and again the importance of staying wise. This does not entail flying through life by the seat of one’s pants only choosing to exert control over situations when it suits one. Granted, in a given situation more than one individual is usually involved. Aren’t our most pressing issues regarding faithfulness about relationships? We all possess unique responsibility and no single person bears an entire relationship’s burdens alone, but as a result of not following this instruction I found myself “caught in the toils of [my] sin.” Proverbs 5:23 NRSV.
Where do we turn when caught? That question is pivotal and worth adding to our list of things to consider when we find ourselves in a stew pot. swm
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July 3
Scripture focus: My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones. Proverbs 3:1-8
During the season of my discontent, I attended a lecture on “How to Stay Faithful”. That lecture hit me like a ton of bricks (or feathers, I suppose). I had not acted wisely or responsibly and I have subsequently spent much time examining the wisdom section of the writings in an effort to sort through this mess that I got myself into. I found myself trying to live with the tension of knowing I had allowed my emotions to overwhelm me despite the fact that God has provided resources to prevent such behavior.
While Proverbs 1-9 discusses sexual faithfulness, I believe that there exist themes and wisdom which can be gleaned from these passages and applied to any situation that requires faithfulness. (And what situation does not? In both large and small things, aren’t we called to be faithful?)
The first part of chapter three, verses 1-12, instruct readers to cling to loyalty and faithfulness and to trust in Yahweh (Yahweh is the Old Testament word used to specifically describe the God of Israel, and no other gods with a small g).
I do not think that my behavior during this time aligned with a person steadfastly devoted to trusting in Yahweh. Further, I did not “Keep [my] heart with all vigilance…” as 4:23 instructs. This verse presumes a certain amount of control over one’s emotions. As a fairly emotional person, I often feel powerless in this area.
But as my mom often says, powerless and taking personal responsibility for one’s choices are two different issues. Unfortunately, even my mom’s oft drilled words of advice proved unhelpful to me in the circumstances I found myself in. Still, I did have a vague sense that I had lessons to learn. swm
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Scripture focus: My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones. Proverbs 3:1-8
During the season of my discontent, I attended a lecture on “How to Stay Faithful”. That lecture hit me like a ton of bricks (or feathers, I suppose). I had not acted wisely or responsibly and I have subsequently spent much time examining the wisdom section of the writings in an effort to sort through this mess that I got myself into. I found myself trying to live with the tension of knowing I had allowed my emotions to overwhelm me despite the fact that God has provided resources to prevent such behavior.
While Proverbs 1-9 discusses sexual faithfulness, I believe that there exist themes and wisdom which can be gleaned from these passages and applied to any situation that requires faithfulness. (And what situation does not? In both large and small things, aren’t we called to be faithful?)
The first part of chapter three, verses 1-12, instruct readers to cling to loyalty and faithfulness and to trust in Yahweh (Yahweh is the Old Testament word used to specifically describe the God of Israel, and no other gods with a small g).
I do not think that my behavior during this time aligned with a person steadfastly devoted to trusting in Yahweh. Further, I did not “Keep [my] heart with all vigilance…” as 4:23 instructs. This verse presumes a certain amount of control over one’s emotions. As a fairly emotional person, I often feel powerless in this area.
But as my mom often says, powerless and taking personal responsibility for one’s choices are two different issues. Unfortunately, even my mom’s oft drilled words of advice proved unhelpful to me in the circumstances I found myself in. Still, I did have a vague sense that I had lessons to learn. swm
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
July 2
Scripture focus: My son, if you will receive my words and treasure my commandments within you, make your ear attentive to wisdom, incline your heart to understanding; for if you cry for discernment, lift your voice for understanding; if you seek her as silver and search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will discern the fear of the LORD and discover the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice, and He preserves the way of His godly ones. Then you will discern righteousness and justice and equity and every good course. for wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will guard you, understanding will watch over you, to deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things; from those who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness; who delight in doing evil and rejoice in the perversity of evil; whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways; to deliver you from the strange woman, from the adulteress who flatters with her words; that leaves the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; for her house sinks down to death and her tracks lead to the dead; none who go to her return again, nor do they reach the paths of life. So you will walk in the way of good men and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will live in the land and the blameless will remain in it; but the wicked will be cut off from the land and the treacherous will be uprooted from it. Proverbs 2
I found myself in a situation in these past five months of which I am not proud. I suppose that I have always viewed myself as a virtuous person. My parents raised me within the context of a church community and I have always (more or less) acted accordingly. When I say this I merely mean that I was a well-behaved youth, mostly acting with integrity. In December, I met a girl with a boyfriend and we became close friends. A few weeks later, she became engaged. A few weeks after that, she ended her engagement because I expressed feelings for her. My primary issue stems from what happened between the engagement and its breaking. As her fiancé lived elsewhere, we essentially started dating, leading to an inappropriate relationship. Some might describe this as an affair, others not. Either way I personally view it as wrong. The finer details of this situation do not seem relevant but it is important to note how quickly these events transpired. Partially because of the speed of the events, our own relationship escalated quickly in its emotional intensity. The relationship lasted a number of months before ultimately meeting its seemingly inevitable conclusion.
“Where was God in all of this?” I have asked myself that question frequently for months. To be honest, I am not entirely sure, though probably not where I thought. Throughout the situations that have provoked my suffering, I perceived, believed, and accepted some things about myself, God and others that are false. This created some “issues” (as you can imagine). One of the things that I have discovered about myself is that I am an emotional guy (not new information but clearly deserving a note of recognition). Sometimes it has seemed as if my emotions (like love or sorrow or fear) are so overwhelming that I become accustomed to treating them like they are an outside agency which exerts its will on me and exists as a force completely out of my control or responsibility. Has this ever happened to you? To be continued...swm
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July 1
Scripture focus: The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: To know wisdom and instruction, to discern the sayings of understanding, to receive instruction in wise behavior, righteousness, justice and equity; to give prudence to the naive, to the youth knowledge and discretion, a wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, to understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their riddles. the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my son, your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck. My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, "Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood, let us ambush the innocent without cause; let us swallow them alive like Sheol, even whole, as those who go down to the pit; we will find all kinds of precious wealth, we will fill our houses with spoil; throw in your lot with us, we shall all have one purse," My son, do not walk in the way with them keep your feet from their path, for their feet run to evil and they hasten to shed blood. Indeed, it is useless to spread the baited net in the sight of any bird; but they lie in wait for their own blood; they ambush their own lives. So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence; it takes away the life of its possessors. Wisdom shouts in the street, she lifts her voice in the square; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out; at the entrance of the gates in the city she utters her sayings: "How long, O naive ones, will you love being simple-minded? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing and fools hate knowledge? "Turn to my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you. "Because I called and you refused, I stretched out my hand and no one paid attention; and you neglected all my counsel and did not want my reproof; I will also laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your dread comes, when your dread comes like a storm and your calamity comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you. "Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently but they will not find me, because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the LORD. "They would not accept my counsel, they spurned all my reproof. "So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way and be satiated with their own devices. "For the waywardness of the naive will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them. "But he who listens to me shall live securely and will be at ease from the dread of evil." Proverbs 1, New American Standard
For the next few weeks, Scott is giving me a break and writing a series of devotionals that I (his very appreciative mom) find intriguing – and expect you will as well. These excerpts are adapted from a final paper Scott wrote for a class he took at Fuller Seminary, during a season of great personal discontent. t
A variety of life challenges presented themselves over the last few months and a class I took during this time, more than any other resource, offered me a framework for understanding and coping with these issues. In discussing these things I do not wish to whine or narcissistically focus on my problems but instead use them to demonstrate ways in which scripture study and prayer have the capacity to impact real life. I hope these devotionals communicate the link between selections of scripture and my personal life as it pertains to wisdom, prayer, and the nature of God’s presence in the world. I further believe that the self-application of what I learned has broader implications beyond just my personal circumstances. In other words, I pray you find some comfort, even as I have been comforted during the last few months of trials and tribulations – some self-inflicted. swm
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
Scripture focus: The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: To know wisdom and instruction, to discern the sayings of understanding, to receive instruction in wise behavior, righteousness, justice and equity; to give prudence to the naive, to the youth knowledge and discretion, a wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, to understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their riddles. the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my son, your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck. My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, "Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood, let us ambush the innocent without cause; let us swallow them alive like Sheol, even whole, as those who go down to the pit; we will find all kinds of precious wealth, we will fill our houses with spoil; throw in your lot with us, we shall all have one purse," My son, do not walk in the way with them keep your feet from their path, for their feet run to evil and they hasten to shed blood. Indeed, it is useless to spread the baited net in the sight of any bird; but they lie in wait for their own blood; they ambush their own lives. So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence; it takes away the life of its possessors. Wisdom shouts in the street, she lifts her voice in the square; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out; at the entrance of the gates in the city she utters her sayings: "How long, O naive ones, will you love being simple-minded? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing and fools hate knowledge? "Turn to my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you. "Because I called and you refused, I stretched out my hand and no one paid attention; and you neglected all my counsel and did not want my reproof; I will also laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your dread comes, when your dread comes like a storm and your calamity comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you. "Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently but they will not find me, because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the LORD. "They would not accept my counsel, they spurned all my reproof. "So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way and be satiated with their own devices. "For the waywardness of the naive will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them. "But he who listens to me shall live securely and will be at ease from the dread of evil." Proverbs 1, New American Standard
For the next few weeks, Scott is giving me a break and writing a series of devotionals that I (his very appreciative mom) find intriguing – and expect you will as well. These excerpts are adapted from a final paper Scott wrote for a class he took at Fuller Seminary, during a season of great personal discontent. t
A variety of life challenges presented themselves over the last few months and a class I took during this time, more than any other resource, offered me a framework for understanding and coping with these issues. In discussing these things I do not wish to whine or narcissistically focus on my problems but instead use them to demonstrate ways in which scripture study and prayer have the capacity to impact real life. I hope these devotionals communicate the link between selections of scripture and my personal life as it pertains to wisdom, prayer, and the nature of God’s presence in the world. I further believe that the self-application of what I learned has broader implications beyond just my personal circumstances. In other words, I pray you find some comfort, even as I have been comforted during the last few months of trials and tribulations – some self-inflicted. swm
Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community
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