Day 18

Scripture focus: My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Proverbs 7:1 NIV

Our family has long believed in the concept of co-parenting. One of our friends who joined the team that co-parented Scott was Tom. Tom has a saying, “I find that parenting our children is less about what they learn from us, and more about what we learn from them.” Of course, Tom and the rest of us only came to this marvelous insight after our kids left for college and we resumed the luxury of sleeping through the night.

Long before our children taught us differently, Pete and I thought that one of our responsibilities as parents was to teach our children how to behave. Concepts like: good manners, talking to folks and maintaining eye contact, not poking their siblings’ eyes out with pointy sticks – stuff like that – all seemed very important. And they were! Families who fail to pay attention to modeling, guiding and instructing kids in the fine art of getting along with others often end up with hooligans (or kids who act like they are the parents of their parents) for children.

Parents have a responsibility to their children. But parents are not responsible for the outcome.

Although I would love for my children to learn all of life’s lessons via text message or video – without having to get personally involved in the messiness of life, I know this is not meant to be. Of course, it would be nice if children behaved – even the adult ones.

But the truth is, what I truly value (on days when I am feeling mature and faith-filled) is not so much behaving as believing. I appreciate Scott’s story on many levels, but mostly I appreciate how he engaged his faith in the process and faced his own humanity head on. Would it have been better for him to have taken this class and learned how to seek wisdom through scripture reading and new forms of prayer BEFORE he made his choice with regards to hanging out with a very cute girl who broke his heart? A mother’s heart says yes.

More on why I am not sure that a mother’s heart is the best place to look for answers in tomorrow’s devotional.
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