Day 26

Scripture focus: With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. Proverbs 7:21 NIV

I used to believe that if Pete and I could create a “good” family, no one would go astray. Boy was I an idiot!

This week I had lunch with a friend who I think has created not only a “good” family structure but a great one. Our time together began with a recitation of the interesting situations her children had gotten themselves entangled in since last we lunched. These “entanglements” included handcuffs and tickets and a few other things that one doesn’t normally associate with “good” families (because, as I said, most of us are idiots!).

Does this alter my viewpoint about my friend? No way! In fact, it confirms my conviction. As a healthy family, she and her brood have experienced problems and stress but have handled them in a healthy way.

She and her husband talk about problems; they make adjustments; they admit when a symptom indicates a need for change; they talk to the kids about the changes they are making; they admit their stress without wallowing in it – they take appropriate action; they make it easy for their kids to admit problems too; they teach their kids how to be problem solvers, not royalty in the family system of denial.

Healthy families:
* Provide safety, warmth, nurturance to all members
* Create a sense of community, belonging, loving
* Foster autonomy
* Promote self-respect in all members
* Make mistakes without making it a federal offense
* Have fun
* Are spiritual

As you might suspect, unhealthy families have a different kind of list. To be continued…
 

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