Day 22

Scripture focus: At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice. I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment. Proverbs 7:6-7

One of the snares common to man is the propensity to judge. Proverbs, read improperly, can foster that inclination. Scott learned that taking the writings of scripture and praying them personally certainly puts a new spin on things. Here’s how this one could read (from my perspective): At the window of the neighbor’s house, he/she looked out through the lattice. He/she saw among the simple, he/she noticed among them Teresa – a person too old to be mistaken for a youth, but one who acted like a youth – she (Teresa) lacked judgment. Ahhhh…this changes things, does it not? We eliminate the need to discuss the waywardness of the youth today and how different it was “back in the day” and instead, we focus on our life on this particular day. A second snare waiting to grab us is the feeling of shame (a belief that we are broken, terminally unique, badder than the baddest person in town, unforgivable, irreparable, a reprobate). Frankly, swallowing this emotion whole without doing an appropriate fact check is irresponsible. And although lack of judgment and irresponsibility are natural, normal, developmentally appropriate stages in the life of a youth – unless you are still at the point where you must get a stranger to pick you up a six pack at the local store because you left your fake ID in your jeans that your Mama just washed – when we grow up, part of maturation will require that we learn how to live responsibly and acquire the capacity to use good judgment. The third snare is family dysfunction. There are symptoms that we develop when we grow up in a family that does not teach us how to have reasonably healthy coping strategies, provide us with a profound sense of security, and inspire us to reach for the stars (because we were created for such things – not in a vain attempt to win parental notice or approval). These symptoms might include: psychiatric and stress disorders, substance abuse, addictions to depression, phobias, anxiety, personality disorders, sexual dysfunction, intimacy issues, hyper-activity, compulsions, obsessions and more. This does NOT mean that healthy families never have problems – they do (see list above). But in unhealthy families, we are less like to name, address, resolve, and move through our issues. Recently I spoke at a conference where there was a strong medical presence representing the recovery movement. They grilled me – at length – about the need for a spiritual component to the recovery process. Many of these fine men and women, working on the front lines of addiction treatment day after day, wanted to make sure that I understood the physiological component of addiction (I know. You could’ve told them about how I harp on this, right?) I nodded in assent and with sincere appreciation thanked them for continuing to teach us all about how we can better overcome substance abuse. But what I’d like to add to that comment is this: every life choice, problem, issue, concern, bad break, disease, blessing and curse that comes down the pike is better understood, addressed, coped with and healed when we live as spiritual beings. People with cancer who have strong faiths reportedly do better than cancer patients with no faith. Scott had a series of tough breaks and a lapse in judgment that turned into a huge opportunity to grow and learn because he engaged his faith, perhaps sidestepping further snares. His faith did not act as a shield from youthful indiscretion, but it gave him a way to understand God, himself and others that was comforting and informative. May we all continue to lean into the word of God.

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