Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World


Day 241 – The need to be against

Scripture focus: It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: …the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival… Galatians 5:19-21 The Message

Someone once told me that addiction took lots of forms, but all addicts had one thing in common – the need to be against. Well, if that’s the case, then I suspect we’re all addicts! At some point, all of us have the urge to oppose. Some days we just want to be pouty and contrary. On those days we find ourselves with the strong and burning desire to be against. The object of our opposition isn’t nearly as important as our desire to defy. I’m not sure whether we can say this is a trait of all the addicted, but I’m pretty confident that it is part of being human.

In Galatians, Paul says this is the manifestation of envy. The Greek word phthonos – meaning a hostile feeling toward someone because that person has something – an advantage, a benefit, a position – that the other does not possess but would like to have. There’s more. This word implies a deeply felt grudge because someone possesses what a person wishes was his own. If we study this verse in the King James Version, we see “envying” and think – ok, that’s phthonos. But keep looking. It’s followed by the word “murders” – and guess what? There’s no corresponding Greek word to go with that word. According to Rick Renner (July 19th in Sparkling Gems from the Greek), he thinks it is because it took two English words to communicate strongly enough the dangers of phthonos.

I love Peterson’s translation…the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival. I have another way of thinking about it. As I have walked my recovery road, I realized that I had a nasty habit of devaluing others – depersonalizing everyone into a rival. I didn’t realize I did this for a long, long time. But with the progressive revelation that comes with years of plodding along in the Christ-centered 12 steps, one day I was given the gift of this insight. As God had his way with me, I was astounded to realize that any time I devalued another; it was usually caused by phthonos.

If we can convince ourselves that another person is the enemy, it is perfectly natural to critique and criticize. We can fancy up the language and excuse our behavior all we want. But critiquing, criticizing, gossiping, discussing and dissecting another person is phthonos. And it makes the list of Paul’s obvious signs that a person is living a life that develops out of trying to get their own way all the time.

Randy Pausch, presenter and author of The Last Lecture (both a lecture out on youtube.com and a best selling book by that same name), says that if you look long enough, people will surprise you – in a good way. I love the way Randy Pausch thinks! It’s easy to find a flock of birds who are willing to join us in phthonos – all we need is a common enemy. My challenge to myself (and you!) is that we take time to pause and prepare. Instead of finding a common enemy and doing the common thing – express our need to be against - perhaps we’d be better off to put on a pair of God-vision goggles and peer intently at a person until we can join with God, and have his vision for them. The ever-increasing glory potential God planted in each one of us can indeed be something we can rally around, encourage and support. And it’s far more satisfying than being the kind of person who has the need to be against.

Recommended reading: Job 27 and 28 in the morning; Job 29 and 30 in the evening




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