Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless Word

Day 148 – A New View

Scripture focus: Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. For I, the Lord, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them. Isaiah 61:7-8 NIV

One of our NorthStar Community friends is back out on the streets. His discouragement was palatable one recent Sunday morning as he beseeched me to tell him something that might make a difference in his life choices. The questions reeked of shame and disgrace. My friend currently wakes up on a street corners and spends his day doing whatever it takes to get his drug of choice – even if it involves robbery and iniquity (if he’s still alive). I so wish my friend had a new view of his life.

I’ve had meetings downtown a couple of times this week. As I ride down the streets, my eyes search the alleys and street corners. I am looking for my pal. I ask God to put him in my path. I wonder what my friend would think about my moment-by-moment prayer vigil on his behalf. In his shame and disgrace, I suspect he might conclude that if he got in my path, I might run him over with my car as divine retribution for his shameful behavior, his disgraceful choices, and his many moments of iniquity, piling up one on top of another.

I have a different perspective. I want him in my path so that I can bestow a blessing upon him. If I had the opportunity, I’d tell him that last week our service wasn’t the same without him. He’s more willing to share his suffering in public than most. And his honesty refreshes us. We’re “less” when he is absent.

My friend isn’t a good guy because he behaves well. My friend is a child of God, and it is that truth that puts him in the chow line of double portions, inheritances, and everlasting joy. My friend will never experience peace until he realizes that the gift of peace has no strings attached. He doesn’t have to get his act together in order for God to love him. God loves him because God has his act together. This kind of understanding will require a moment of clarity – a divine intervention by the living God. So although my buddy hasn’t crossed my path this week, I’m praying God will cross his. In the meantime, we wait with hope. And we wonder – this guy so wants to be free. What’s holding up the miracle? Unless and until we realize that God wants us in his path – not to run us down, but to bestow a blessing – we’ll follow our friend down the path of shame. People who expect to get run down when they act up stay stuck.

Lord, help us have the courage to walk this path by giving us a new view of you – our Savior and Lord – one who came to seek and to save those who are lost.

Our friend is lost to us today. May we continue to hope, heal, and prepare for his return. When he comes home to his little community, we need to be prepared to continue the risky business of loving him like God does. Could it be that learning how to love like God is the double portion of blessing – the everlasting joy – the best inheritance of all? Jesus once commented that the poor will always be with us. I suppose he would say the same thing about the homeless, hopeless and helpless among us today. His commentary was not a sad statement of the world’s condition - it was more a preamble to his greatest commandment – love others well. So although you and I may never cure the ills of this world, we must become a people who love in response to suffering.

Recommended reading: 2 Samuel 9 and 10 in the morning; John 15 in the evening

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Week 21 At A Glance Scripture focus: They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. Isaiah 61:3-4 NIV This week's devotions examined some of the challenges and potential blessings wrapped in suffering. Frank and Cathy illustrated the point that restoration is messy business, and the renovation process isn't all good news. Rebuilding is preceded by destruction. The reality of despair and destruction provides faith communities and friends opportunities to learn how to mourn with the grieving. If we can develop this ability to weep with those who weep, we not only fulfill God's command to do so - we actually provide an environment that mourns and nurtures the hope for healing. Each devotional attempted to remind us that our goal isn't a life without conflict. That's a pipe dream. Instead, God provides us resources that enable us to suffer productively and to support others as they do the same. When we have an accurate view of what we might expect out of life on planet earth, it helps us trust in the right stuff and hope in the right things. This decreases our frustration and increases our ability to love others well. This completes the first one hundred forty-seven days of your 365 step journey; I pray you are nearer to God as a result of the steps you've taken this week. Recommended reading: 2 Samuel 7 and 8 in the morning; Proverbs 16 in the evening

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 146 - The Real Deal Scripture focus: How long, O Lord, must I call for help but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. Habakkuk 1:2-3 NIV The counselor came in to say good bye to a couple leaving rehab. Giddy with anticipation, both were optimistic that treatment had equipped the addict and her beloved codependent with the tools they needed to restore their family. Both had worked their programs diligently; they each developed an after-care program; they were ready to go home and get started on their new life. "Guys, I have loved working with you! You're both doing great. But I want to offer you one word of warning. It's going to get worse before it gets better." Stunned, they nod politely and dismiss his warning as overly pessimistic. Maybe all those years as a counselor have jaded his perspective, they think. Perhaps his other clients lack the depth of love and commitment that resides in the heart of these two, they conclude. Two months later, frustrated and afraid, these two recall the words of their therapist. And they wonder how he got so smart. If they call this therapist and confess their initial skepticism at his warning, he'll laugh at their new-found faith in his prognosticating abilities. Whether we find our way back to God through trial and tribulation or other less stressful pathways, we sometimes think that a faith-filled life results in a stress-free existence. Destruction, violence, strife, conflict, injustice - all those yukky realities happen on planet earth - even to those who believe. God doesn't offer us a pipe dream of conflict-free living on planet earth. Instead, he offers: His presence in the midst of the mess - whether we "feel" his nearness or not. Principles for how we can respond appropriately to the issues we inevitably encounter - our presence can bring resurrection, peace, calm, and justice to any and every situation as we live out our God-created identity. A new view. When we come to believe, God hands us a pair of God-vision goggles and instructions on their use. We can become the people who bring hope to the hopeless. Awareness that knowing all the answers isn't the key to eternal life. Knowing the One who holds the answers in his hand frees us to be the ones who follow his lead. Recommended reading: 2 Samuel 5 and 6 in the morning; John 14 and Psalm 120 in the evening

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 145 - Trusting in the right stuff Scripture focus: A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty. Job 6:14 NIV I love adolescents - they're so adolescent. They say things that are shocking and dare adults to rise to the challenge. They toggle between the desire to please and the need to be against. They're mercurial and edgy. Befriending an adolescent is a lot like taking a bath with plugged in electrical appliances hovering overhead. The teen years are extremely stressful. There's plenty to despair over. I've been bugging my son and his friends to get prom dates. I'm continuing my one woman campaign that no nice gal should be left behind on prom night. My son completely ignores my nagging. His friend, however, listened to me - and invited a young lady to prom. He showed up with flowers and asked in person. He didn't call, text or instant message. He was a gentleman. And that very nice young lady rejected his invitation. The rumor mill has it that she'd be willing to let him take her to dinner and the after prom party - but she doesn't like proms. It's enough to give a mother a migraine! No one likes proms - doesn't this girl get it? Proms are all about enduring, not enjoying! Proms are rites of passages - and I personally think a so-so prom experience will always be better than the feeling of sitting at home with your parents watching tv while all your friends get dressed up in cool outfits and complain conspiratorily on Monday about how guys are goofs. Teens despair over grades, sports, young love, parents, stress, peers and finances. They despair over speeding tickets and dui charges. They despair over adults continually asking them what they want to be when they grow up - while they're more focused on squeezing time in to play Grand Theft Auto (a terrible game). In the midst of all this despair, adolescents respond much like adults. They question and re-examine their beliefs. Despair challenges our preconceived notions. Faithful people sometimes find their faith in doubt - anger, fear, unbelief - these are normal (and uncomfortable) reactions to despair. Friends and family squirm uneasily in the face of despair and doubt. In our discomfort, we unwittingly love lousily. If we have a friend in despair, here are a few things we can do to love them well: Accept the friend and release self from the responsibility to respond to their questions with pat answers. (Remember, God does not need us to defend him.) Hear the pain without judging the content of the conversation. People don't always say what they truly mean or mean what they're saying. Minimizing or discounting the pain of another is counter-productive. Trust in the right stuff. We don't need our friends to behave perfectly. Again, God can handle the big emotions that often pop out when we're under stress. Keep calm and remind yourself that you weren't given the job of keeping others on an even keel. Hold the hope - without feeling the need to share your assignment. Suffering people need friends who can see beyond the despair to the healing that may come in the future. Prayerful hoping is a good thing. Stick like glue. Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional (F.I.N.E.) people won't remember your words of wisdom but they will relish in the reality that in their time of trouble, a good friend stuck like glue. The devotion of good friends during hard times is a God thing. Few have the heart for the task. My prayer is that we will learn how to be the one with enough faith to trust in the right stuff - and in the trusting, morph into a true friend. Recommended reading: 2 Samuel 3 and 4 in the morning; John 13 and Psalm 119 in the evening

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 144 - Comfort the mourning Scripture focus: to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Isaiah 61:2-3 NIV I cringed as I sat in on a grief workshop and a grieving mother gently berated a mourning widow. This mom seems to think that losing a husband isn't as painful as losing a child. I'm here because one of my ministerial friends has asked me to come in and sit in on the group. It seems that people come once and never return. My pastor friend doesn't understand why all these grieving people in his congregation don't want to participate in a support group with others who share their suffering. This problem wasn't all that hard to figure out. I'm not great at grieving. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by my own suffering and end up sitting with a mom or spouse or child and blubber. Other times I'm numb. I often find myself speechless in the face of such loss (which is far better than when my mouth turns on and I speak of that which I do not truly understand.) For me, recognizing my own inadequacies is a good place to join a person in their grief. When God gives us a mission to join Jesus in mourning with those who mourn, sometimes the best and only thing we can do is show up. We don't have to have answers or platitudes or stories of our own suffering. I think it's better to focus on why I'm showing up than it is to figure out what I'm supposed to do when I get there. The grief support group at my friend's church was floundering because the group didn't understand why they were showing up. People felt the need to give advice, rather than share their experience, strength and hope. Feedback is great when people are in a place to receive it. But the newly mourning tell me that they prefer presence over preaching. In the absence of our own experience, strength and hope we can do two things that are pretty effective: 1.we can shut up and 2.we can ask for help. I have a friend who has learned how to be a great griever. Here's what I've observed in her: After many years, beauty has risen out of the ashes of her suffering. She instructs me on the fine art of mourning. She shows up for others who experience loss, even when standing so close to great loss rekindles her own memories. It costs my friend to stand with those who grieve. But she does it. My friend knows how to apply the healing balm of oil. Suffering people get dehydrated and dried up. My friend brings her oil can and knows just where to add some lubricant, to soften the pain of movement. She knows that going to the grocery store is often more than one can bear. She'll show up and vacuum, dust, and change the linens - because mourning families still need a home to retreat to - and chaotic homes don't ease the way. My friend quietly covers the agony of others with a soft blanket of protection - shielding them from those who might be ignorant of the mourning process. When others who don't know better begin to murmur that perhaps enough time has passed, my friend whispers in the ears of the grieving, "Let's give it ten years or so, then we'll evaluate your progress." Sometimes our personal experience equips us to serve others well. But even if we lack in this area, we can offer the gift of presence. I continue to ask the Father to provide us with everything we need to love each other well. Recommended reading: 2 Samuel 1 and 2 in the morning; Psalm 117 and 118 in the evening

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 143 - Mourning without moping Scripture focus: God sent me to announce the year of his grace - a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies - and to comfort all who mourn. To care for the needs of all who mourn. Isaiah 61:2-3 The Message Cathy and Frank eventually found their way back to each other and God. Neil Anderson says, "When you find out that all you have is God, you discover that he is all you need." And this couple strongly advocates this position. They too have discovered that the really valuable things in life can't be measured in dollars and cents. This sounds like a great backdrop for a made-for-tv movie, but I seriously doubt anyone will actually write it - if they feel compelled to tell the truth. There were serious consequences as a result of the years of denial and lousy loving. They lost their home and credit rating when they declared bankruptcy. Plans for early retirement and travel in their golden years are no longer considerations. Frankie eventually entered rehab, and he's had some great years - and a few slips along the way. Frankie's life isn't what they dreamed for him. They're the first to acknowledge that Frankie has a great life AND it is not the life they expected. He hasn't pursued higher education; he never recaptured his potential on the ball field. Everyone who knows him readily declares that his educational status and sport's standing are irrelevant in comparison to his sober life. But honesty requires that they also admit that there are moments for each of them when they experience a twinge of regret over what might have been. These folks mourn without moping. They don't mourn the loss of dollars and cents; they don't grieve the years that the locusts ate; they mourn the loss of their dreams. To deny this truth is to cheapen the cost of learning how to love like God. Along the way they have built a network of friends who love them better than Job's friends were capable of loving Job. Their friends know how to listen to the mourning without feeling the need to bolster up their bad days with perky platitudes and incessant reminders of God's provision. When we live in a loving community that dares to care for the needs of all who mourn, it's important to remember that suffering people can mourn without diminishing God. It's perfectly acceptable to mourn losses AND celebrate God's provisions. People are capable of knowing that God's purposes prevail without always having to smack on a smile and speak of God's goodness in the middle of a bad hair day. I pray that each of us will grow in God-confidence as we learn how to love those who mourn. May we give ourselves and others the permission to mourn. To stifle the mourning process may have unintended negative consequences - leaving us in community with folks who say the spiritually "right" things but can't stop moping around. Recommended reading: 1 Samuel 29 and 30 in the morning; 1 Samuel 31 and John 12 in the evening

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 142 - Why hope? Scripture focus: The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. Isaiah 61:1 NIV I love the worship community where God has planted me. It's a messy place, where the Frank's and Cathy's of the world come and stay awhile. Sometimes they disappear, and we don't know the outcome of our loving. Others stay and settle in, making it their home. I think the ones who stay have the gift of courage. It's no easy thing to live in a community that mourns and celebrates in riotous, chaotic fashion every time two or more gather. A few Sundays ago, one of our community returned after being "out there" for awhile. His "out there" had been a multi-month relapse. We celebrated his return. The return was short-lived. Rumor has it that he's back out on the street, doing that thing he knows so well - suffering. He may die out there, and we may never know. He may continue to live on the streets for forty years - harming self and others. He may show up next week, worse for the wear but ready to try again. Only God knows the outcome. I told a friend how much it hurt to know my friend was on the streets; my friend wants to know why I don't find a new place to plant - maybe get a job in a coffee shop and learn how to make expensive expressos and luscious lattes. I explained to my friend that suffering is a part of loving and an essential pre-requisite if I want to have a life of hope. My friend doesn't really understand this, but that's ok, she's the kind of friend who doesn't have to understand everything to love a friend in pain. When God sent Jesus out into the world, he gave Jesus a mission. As Jesus' mission neared completion, he sent his people out on mission too. He audaciously claimed that his followers would do even greater things than he himself had done (a statement I cannot comprehend, but he said it so there must be something to it). So when Isaiah 61 pops up on my reading radar, I take seriously the hope found in these verses. The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me. we've been promised the Holy Spirit, God's presence, Jesus' advocacy for our cause. He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. Jesus' mission; our opportunity to do the same. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. I don't know of a people in our community who are more brokenhearted, captivated and dwelling in darkness than the addicted and their families. I love my worship community because they are so darn relentless in their hope. They understand the mission of proclamation and the potential for release. They hope when good, solid evidence claims that hope is a pipe dream. They hope when it hurts. They hope when it would make more sense to trust in things you can really count on - like a Starbuck's on every corner. They hope when the act of hoping means that sometimes they get dirt kicked in their faces. They hope on behalf of others, and perhaps the harder thing - they hope for God's saving grace in their own lives. They hope without expectation of good outcomes. They hope because God said we must. It takes a big heart and a large dose of courage to trust in things not yet seen. And whether my friend who is living in a box knows this or not - we hope on his behalf. We believe that when God said he had good news for the poor, balm for the brokenhearted, the possibility of freedom for the captive, and release from darkness for the prisoner - God had him in mind. And so must we. May your day be filled with huge hope - the kind of crazy, illogical, large loving hope that only makes sense when we trust God with the outcome. Recommended reading: 1 Samuel 26 and 27 in the morning; 1 Samuel 28 and John 11 in the evening