Week 18 - Day 120
Scripture focus: I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10 NIV
If you and I were sitting in front of a cozy fire with a hot cup of tea, what would you say if I asked you to describe a "full life"? When I was a young girl, it meant finding Prince Charming. As a newlywed, I dreamed of a home. As a couple struggling with infertility issues, it meant a baby. My preconceived notions of a "full life" certainly have changed over the years. Some of my dreams have been realized, others crushed. I've had cravings, that once fulfilled, proved to be disappointing at best. I've experienced events in my life that I entered into with dread, only to end up delighted. My big dream picker hasn't been particularly reliable.
So here I sit. I am wondering about my big dreams and full life potential.
I'm surprised that I can't really find one! Oh, I have desires. And I've got plenty of ideas. I still have a few ambitions I'm chasing.
As I'm practicing the spiritual discipline of trusting God, part of that "trusting" involves letting go of my expectations of what the "full life" means to me. Instead, I'm asking God to give me the discernment, wisdom, and courage to recognize the "full life" HE'S dreamed for me.
Yesterday I had some personal struggles and family challenges, but for a couple of hours I sat, listening to a woman tell me her story - and I was able to sit with her, completely present and engaged. My mind didn't skip away, worrying about my own troubles. We had a sweet time together - a full experience. Afterwards, I returned to my troubles and found them, right where I left them - no worse for a few hours of neglect.
Last night I watched my son's lacrosse game. Every time he got in the game someone tripped him, poked him, and generally tried to rough him up. His team won, but he didn't score any goals - a personal frustration. In the stands, I huddled in the cold evening air with the other parents; we've begun our countdown - a small number of games that we'll watch out boys play together before they head off to college and career (as compared to those of the past). We've been together since elementary school - playing on the same team, meeting on the sidelines for seven years - seen a bunch of victories and defeats, watched them score big and go scoreless, agonized over injuries both large and small. None of those things made our lives fuller. The full life isn't in the wins and losses, the good games or the bad - it's in the relationships. It's in the knowing and caring about each other's lives. That's the full life - a life I might have missed altogether, distracted by brain cravings and ambition for personal achievement and keeping score - if someone hadn't told me about the road to trusting God.
May you recognize your full life - as you trust God to deliver on his promise.
Recommended reading: Judges 10 and Psalm 99 in the morning; Psalm 100 in the evening
Month at a Glance - Day 121
Scripture focus: The Lord will not let the godly go hungry, but he refuses to satisfy the craving of the wicked. Proverbs 10:3 NLT
In summary:
· God desires for us to trust him, because in this state of 'being' there's lots of room for Him to guide us into what he wants us to be 'doing.'
· Ambition is God-given, and is best experienced when we are God-led.
· Spiritual fitness is going to push us to our limits - and beyond. Recovery fit people will need to develop spiritual muscles. We're all going to have to learn a lot of languages, so that we can speak to any hurt, habit or hang-up that presents itself in our community.
· We must become a people who trust God more than our strengths, skills or tools. We need to learn how to appreciate our strengths and preferences, but develop a willingness to work out of our weaknesses, too, if it be the Lord's will.
· We need to learn how to trust God, especially when we don't understand his ways.
· Prepare to be surprised - I'm surprised by the willingness of God to continue to redeem the supposedly unredeemable. If this is his way, I suppose we're to follow.
· Whatever excuses we've used to let ourselves off the hook of passionate living - we're busted. God can do anything, use anyone. We have no excuses. We do, however, have a host of opportunities.
· Sometimes, when we don't know how to measure success, or we get blinded by the bright lights of disappointment, we become dream stealers. We lose our dreams, and we become committed to making sure others join us in our misery.
· Expect dream refinement. My husband thought his big dreams would include a stint as Superman. I believe he's a super man, but it probably looks far different than he imagined it would when he was a little tyke running around in a cape and tights.
· Metamorphosis is hard work. Butterflies don't get those gorgeous strong wings by letting someone else crack open their cocoon! They have to fight for freedom. And so do we. In the process, it'll get messy. Whining will happen. Patience and helping others carry their hope helps.
· Walking in the light of trusting God frees us to pursue our soul cravings. We need the light, because sometimes we confuse pleasing God with trusting God. Assuming that our purpose is to please God, we may actually be sabotaging our efforts! Increased stress does bad things to our brain, and that may trigger brain cravings - yukky things that hijack our capacity to live and love large.
This completes the first one hundred twenty-one of your 365 step journey; I pray you are nearer to God as a result of the steps you've taken this week.
Recommended reading: Judges 11 and 12 in the morning; John 1 and Psalm 101 in the evening
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