Day 19 - Yukky to the tummy
Scripture focus: The voice out of Heaven spoke to me again: "Go, take the book held open in the hand of the Angel astride sea and earth." I went up to the Angel and said, "Give me the little book." He said, "Take it, then eat it. It will taste sweet like honey, but turn sour in your stomach." I took the little book from the Angel's hand and it was sweet honey in my mouth, but when I swallowed, my stomach curdled. Revelation 10:8-10 The Message
Yesterday's devotional asked us to consider the sweet taste of God's words in our mouths; today, we'll consider why that results in a curdled stomach.
Think of ourselves as creatures made up of three parts: body (appetites), soul (emotions and personality), and spirit (our true God-created identity, whose image we are born with). These three parts often act like siblings, fighting and vying for dominion. My body cries out for the appetites it craves. My soul wants to be heard and desires to express itself. My spirit, my true God-created identity, desires to be fulfilled by intimate relationship with God. When we ingest the Word of God, to the extent that it doesn't please our body and soul, we end up with indigestion.
The Word of God tells me to love my enemies. But I don't feel like loving my enemies. My personality - that part of me that likes everyone on a team and wants the team to play well together – doesn't even want to have any enemies. My personality wants everyone to get along and do something fun together. My body craves what it craves. It doesn't want to feel stress or sweat or do much heavy lifting. My body wants to read books by cozy fires or play tennis well without having to practice. My body prefers peanut butter to hummus. But my Spirit, oh it has desires too. It delights at the Word of God, and desires to do His bidding.
So when I read "love your enemy" my body and soul rebel, but my spirit is intrigued.
Obedience is a long road headed in one direction. But along the way, there are many slip ups and detours. Some might suggest that we get a better road map and try to stay on track. I'm suggesting that we pay attention to our yukky tummies so that we learn why we keep ending up on dead-end roads. I don't believe we can avoid the pitfalls without figuring out why our stomach curdles at the very thing our spirit desperately desires to digest.
"Striving to sin less (avoid the tummy ache) leaves us dysfunctional and immature because it creates hiddenness. Making mistakes and paying dearly for them will cause painful failure (indigestion). Not resolving the pain of my failure (asking God to make my insides and outsides match and relying on His grace to accomplish this request) can cost me my destiny." (Bill Thrall and Bruce McNichol)
Recommended reading: Proverbs 1 - 3
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Love my enemy? First, it was necessary to learn that I was the enemy I hated the most. It's almost like I had put out a 'contract' on myself. When in the protection, and nurture, and confrontation, and openness of the North Star hut, I began to learn that God really did love me every moment of every day, did I then begin to love myself. Only when I embraced God's love for me did I then see how much He loved us all, His creation, the World. All my 'enemies' were my own [false] creation. All my enemies were people I deeply wounded, and I deeply grieved God in the process.
At this very moment, He is pouring out His love on my 'enemies' desiring to heal them at the same time desiring that I wound no one else, but to seek to Love as He loves.
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