Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
May 14
Recommended Reading Psalm 31 and Mark 3
Last night one of our sons asked me why Lamentations was in the bible. Since he’s the third born, I had the good sense to realize that he probably wasn’t expecting an answer so much as he was interested in a dialogue, so I said, “Why do you think it’s there?”
“Well, since I doubt that God’s goal was to encourage whining, I wonder if it has something to do with this verse, Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”
“Funny that you came to that verse. That is exactly the same verse I was looking at earlier in the week. I was feeling kind of whiney, and decided to hang with someone who could truly understand me – so I read Lamentations. That’s the verse I underlined!”
Notice that I didn’t answer his question, and his prompt exit seemed to indicate that he didn’t notice my non-response. I think the kid just needed to confess to me what he had just re-discovered and have someone who could join him in this reminder.
I think that because of the circumstances surrounding the evening. We had returned home from a tough lacrosse loss. He got hit so hard his jaw wouldn’t work right, and he had a loose tooth (that’s with a helmet on); his arm was swollen at the elbow to about the size of Rhode Island. He was so sore and tired that he wasn’t going to tackle his dreaded math homework until the wee hours of the morning. I suspect God knew my boy needed to be reminded that the Lord’s love never fails (even when the ref doesn’t call a penalty on the guy who decked him), the Lord’s mercies never cease (even when you’re tired and still have math to do), the Lord’s mercies begin afresh each morning – tomorrow will be another day.
Thought for today: I hope you can recall these truths too as you approach Him with your confessions. If you’re hesitant to approach God, notice what you’re thinking about God. Maybe you need to start out by confessing your forgetfulness of His character.
Thought for tomorrow: Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” Lamentations 3:21-22 NLT
May 14
Teresa McBean
May 13
Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
May 13
Recommended Reading Psalm 30 and Mark 2
I love the gospel of Mark. I love how the writer tells of Jesus’ power and provides evidence of how Jesus uses the power given to him for good. Some people misuse their power. Maybe you’ve suffered at the hands of power misused. Have you ever misused power and caused another to suffer? Jesus didn’t do that. But what he did do is this: He made it possible for people like us – abused and/or abusers, to find a powerful solution to our unremitting pain – caused my power improperly used.
In particular, I hope you’ll read about Jesus’ call to Matthew (also known as Levi) – “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Levi got up and followed him. (Mark 2:14). Matthew was a tax collector. His job was to collect taxes from the Jewish community and send it to the Romans – the oppressors of the Jewish people during this time in history. A Jew himself, Matthew would have been considered a terrible sinner by his fellow Jews because he was not only took from them and sent it to the enemy – he personally profited from the exchange.
And this is the part that makes me cry. Jesus invited Matthew to join Him in His grand epic adventure. He took a guy that the community saw as a bad guy, and he reframed the entire experience through the wonderful power of grace and mercy.
Thought for today: The invitation to join Jesus was not the transformation part of the story – it’s simply the part that made the transformation possible. Matthew could have told Jesus to go fly a kite. He could have ignored the invitation to discipleship. And of course, you can do the same. But it is my prayer that as the Holy Spirit whispers in your ear – Come, follow me and be my disciple – that you’ll haul yourself up and follow. But I’m warning you, eventually you’re going to have to go through the confession process in order to experience power properly placed in your life.
Thought for tomorrow: “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.” Jeremiah 29:12-14 NIV
May 13
Teresa McBean
May 13
Recommended Reading Psalm 30 and Mark 2
I love the gospel of Mark. I love how the writer tells of Jesus’ power and provides evidence of how Jesus uses the power given to him for good. Some people misuse their power. Maybe you’ve suffered at the hands of power misused. Have you ever misused power and caused another to suffer? Jesus didn’t do that. But what he did do is this: He made it possible for people like us – abused and/or abusers, to find a powerful solution to our unremitting pain – caused my power improperly used.
In particular, I hope you’ll read about Jesus’ call to Matthew (also known as Levi) – “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Levi got up and followed him. (Mark 2:14). Matthew was a tax collector. His job was to collect taxes from the Jewish community and send it to the Romans – the oppressors of the Jewish people during this time in history. A Jew himself, Matthew would have been considered a terrible sinner by his fellow Jews because he was not only took from them and sent it to the enemy – he personally profited from the exchange.
And this is the part that makes me cry. Jesus invited Matthew to join Him in His grand epic adventure. He took a guy that the community saw as a bad guy, and he reframed the entire experience through the wonderful power of grace and mercy.
Thought for today: The invitation to join Jesus was not the transformation part of the story – it’s simply the part that made the transformation possible. Matthew could have told Jesus to go fly a kite. He could have ignored the invitation to discipleship. And of course, you can do the same. But it is my prayer that as the Holy Spirit whispers in your ear – Come, follow me and be my disciple – that you’ll haul yourself up and follow. But I’m warning you, eventually you’re going to have to go through the confession process in order to experience power properly placed in your life.
Thought for tomorrow: “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.” Jeremiah 29:12-14 NIV
May 13
Teresa McBean
May 12
Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
May 12
Recommended Reading Psalm 29 and Mark 1
Admitting our wrongs is a three-fold process of confession. First, we admit our wrongs to God, then we admit our wrongs to ourselves and then we admit our wrongs to another human being. This process can be a powerful, life-changing experience. We all long to be known; to share the secrets that are so toxic to our souls; to experience the grace of being loved and accepted – sins and all. The spiritual discipline of confession provides the structure within which we can experience this grace in practical ways… Confession is an act of obedience to a (see James 5:16) biblical imperative. It is an imperative with a promise of healing.*
Thought for today: I have this exercise dvd that I love to do at home when my schedule is too packed for a class or it’s too yukky to get outside. My dvd-driven inspiration keeps telling me that if I want to “re-sculpt” my body I will need to require my body to do things it does not want to do. Did you hear that? If we want to “re-sculpt” our lives, we’re going to need to require things of ourselves that we don’t want to do. Like confession.
Thought for tomorrow: Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all ay long. For day and night our hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord” – and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Psalm 32:1-5 NIV
I’d love to continue this discussion, but I’ve been sitting for several hours and now it’s time to go do some vigorous exercise…even though my body would prefer a nap.
May 12
Teresa McBean
* Recovery from Guilt, 6 studies for groups or individuals by Dale and Juanita Ryan, Copyright 1992, this and other excellent series are available from http://www.christianrecovery.com/, p.5.
May 12
Recommended Reading Psalm 29 and Mark 1
Admitting our wrongs is a three-fold process of confession. First, we admit our wrongs to God, then we admit our wrongs to ourselves and then we admit our wrongs to another human being. This process can be a powerful, life-changing experience. We all long to be known; to share the secrets that are so toxic to our souls; to experience the grace of being loved and accepted – sins and all. The spiritual discipline of confession provides the structure within which we can experience this grace in practical ways… Confession is an act of obedience to a (see James 5:16) biblical imperative. It is an imperative with a promise of healing.*
Thought for today: I have this exercise dvd that I love to do at home when my schedule is too packed for a class or it’s too yukky to get outside. My dvd-driven inspiration keeps telling me that if I want to “re-sculpt” my body I will need to require my body to do things it does not want to do. Did you hear that? If we want to “re-sculpt” our lives, we’re going to need to require things of ourselves that we don’t want to do. Like confession.
Thought for tomorrow: Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all ay long. For day and night our hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord” – and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Psalm 32:1-5 NIV
I’d love to continue this discussion, but I’ve been sitting for several hours and now it’s time to go do some vigorous exercise…even though my body would prefer a nap.
May 12
Teresa McBean
* Recovery from Guilt, 6 studies for groups or individuals by Dale and Juanita Ryan, Copyright 1992, this and other excellent series are available from http://www.christianrecovery.com/, p.5.
May 11
Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
May 11
Recommended Reading Psalm 28 and 1 Peter 5
Is it wrong to yell at your kids and call them stupid?
Is it wrong to belittle your spouse in public – if you make it sound funny?
Is it wrong to take a wallet that you find on the street and consider this your lucky day?
Is it wrong to take supplies from your office and use them personally – especially if you’re under-paid and appreciated?
Is it wrong to have sex if you’re not married?
Is it wrong to look at porn on-line?
Is it wrong over-eat and under-exercise? (Or under-eat and over-exercise?)
Is it wrong to drink alcohol?
Is it wrong to life from paycheck to paycheck?
Is it wrong to help with your children’s homework? Is it wrong to expect your children to manage their own schoolwork without any input from you?
The answers to these kinds of questions will no doubt vary for many of us. If you grew up in a family where someone regularly smacked you around, maybe a little yelling and name calling sounds like no big deal to you. Perhaps living from paycheck to paycheck is a giant step up from the welfare existence you were accustomed to last year. Some people can drink alcohol and it’s a fine choice – for others is a slow form of suicide.
I’m not saying that all our dilemmas about right and wrong are all relative. Some are just plain right; others clearly wrong. But there are some issues that are fuzzy that reasonable people can disagree on without either one needing a bad guy label. How we answer these questions will determine what we define as wrong doing – and that’s an important issue when it comes to doing a fifth step.
Thought for today: 1 Peter is one of those books that helps me answer some of my pressing questions about right and wrong. Lots of other places in scripture do the same thing. I’m glad God saw fit in His infinite wisdom to provide this resource for us.
Thought for tomorrow: All scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. 2 Timothy 3:16 NLT If you’re having trouble making a list of “wrongs” – take some time each day to peer intently into the scriptures and see what looks back.
May 11
Teresa McBean
May 11
Recommended Reading Psalm 28 and 1 Peter 5
Is it wrong to yell at your kids and call them stupid?
Is it wrong to belittle your spouse in public – if you make it sound funny?
Is it wrong to take a wallet that you find on the street and consider this your lucky day?
Is it wrong to take supplies from your office and use them personally – especially if you’re under-paid and appreciated?
Is it wrong to have sex if you’re not married?
Is it wrong to look at porn on-line?
Is it wrong over-eat and under-exercise? (Or under-eat and over-exercise?)
Is it wrong to drink alcohol?
Is it wrong to life from paycheck to paycheck?
Is it wrong to help with your children’s homework? Is it wrong to expect your children to manage their own schoolwork without any input from you?
The answers to these kinds of questions will no doubt vary for many of us. If you grew up in a family where someone regularly smacked you around, maybe a little yelling and name calling sounds like no big deal to you. Perhaps living from paycheck to paycheck is a giant step up from the welfare existence you were accustomed to last year. Some people can drink alcohol and it’s a fine choice – for others is a slow form of suicide.
I’m not saying that all our dilemmas about right and wrong are all relative. Some are just plain right; others clearly wrong. But there are some issues that are fuzzy that reasonable people can disagree on without either one needing a bad guy label. How we answer these questions will determine what we define as wrong doing – and that’s an important issue when it comes to doing a fifth step.
Thought for today: 1 Peter is one of those books that helps me answer some of my pressing questions about right and wrong. Lots of other places in scripture do the same thing. I’m glad God saw fit in His infinite wisdom to provide this resource for us.
Thought for tomorrow: All scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. 2 Timothy 3:16 NLT If you’re having trouble making a list of “wrongs” – take some time each day to peer intently into the scriptures and see what looks back.
May 11
Teresa McBean
May 10
May 10
Recommended Reading Psalm 27 and 1 Peter 4
Over the years my husband and I have occasionally enlisted our children’s help in ministry. Usually this has involved tapping into their musical abilities. Lots of times it’s been a request for patience when our family schedule has needed to flex in order to accommodate a pressing need of a hurting person or family. Once it resulted in a lost week of vacation as we responded as a family to a ministry crisis.
Today, the tables turned. Our son needed his dad to help him create a video for an assignment related to his youth ministry internship. I so enjoyed watching Pete return the favor and rearrange his schedule in order to accommodate Scott’s ministry demands.
The story goes like this…Once, a long long time ago, when Pete was in college, he was taking an applied math course. At midnight, after a rigorous evening of rec basketball, Pete sat down to study for a test the next day. After a few minutes, he realized that no amount of study (at this late hour) could prepare him adequately for that test.
For no reason that he can explain, he reached into his desk and pulled out his very dusty Bible and began to read. Suddenly, a peace that passes all understanding overtook him, and he decided that the best thing to do with such peace was to put it to bed.
The next morning he woke up, went to math, took the test…and aced it. By his own admission, Pete realized that he had no clue where his answers sprung from or how he managed to score better than all his friends (who had foregone b’ball to study). (That’s the only part of the story I question. I never have known Pete to have friends who would choose studying over basketball.)
Anyway, he followed the exact same routine for the next test…and bombed it.
It occurred to me that Pete’s willingness to tell the story was a great example of admitting wrong. I’ve heard him use the story to illustrate both the miraculous power of God AND to warn others that presuming on God’s grace might not be the best plan in the world.
The psalmist is counting on God to hold him close even if his parents abandon him. This speaks to God’s love and grace and mercy. But I don’t think it should give us an excuse to be cocky about our wrongs. Wrong doing is serious business in the kingdom of God.
Thought for today: I know that lots of us have experienced unmerited grace. Examples that come to my mind include: a kid I know whose dad just bailed him out of jail for the umpteenth time – with no thanks from the child, a wife I know who chooses to forgive her husband’s infidelity, a child of alcoholic parents who is choosing to not self-medicate with alcohol and drugs in spite of his chaotic family system…the list is long. But unmerited grace should not be used as an excuse for unwillingness to own up to one’s wrong doing. Just because you’ve dodged the bullet today doesn’t mean you didn’t deserve consequences for your actions. Why not man up and do the right thing – even if it looks like you can skate through with no ill effect?
Thought for tomorrow: Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”? Proverbs 20:9 NIV
May 10
Teresa McBean
Recommended Reading Psalm 27 and 1 Peter 4
Over the years my husband and I have occasionally enlisted our children’s help in ministry. Usually this has involved tapping into their musical abilities. Lots of times it’s been a request for patience when our family schedule has needed to flex in order to accommodate a pressing need of a hurting person or family. Once it resulted in a lost week of vacation as we responded as a family to a ministry crisis.
Today, the tables turned. Our son needed his dad to help him create a video for an assignment related to his youth ministry internship. I so enjoyed watching Pete return the favor and rearrange his schedule in order to accommodate Scott’s ministry demands.
The story goes like this…Once, a long long time ago, when Pete was in college, he was taking an applied math course. At midnight, after a rigorous evening of rec basketball, Pete sat down to study for a test the next day. After a few minutes, he realized that no amount of study (at this late hour) could prepare him adequately for that test.
For no reason that he can explain, he reached into his desk and pulled out his very dusty Bible and began to read. Suddenly, a peace that passes all understanding overtook him, and he decided that the best thing to do with such peace was to put it to bed.
The next morning he woke up, went to math, took the test…and aced it. By his own admission, Pete realized that he had no clue where his answers sprung from or how he managed to score better than all his friends (who had foregone b’ball to study). (That’s the only part of the story I question. I never have known Pete to have friends who would choose studying over basketball.)
Anyway, he followed the exact same routine for the next test…and bombed it.
It occurred to me that Pete’s willingness to tell the story was a great example of admitting wrong. I’ve heard him use the story to illustrate both the miraculous power of God AND to warn others that presuming on God’s grace might not be the best plan in the world.
The psalmist is counting on God to hold him close even if his parents abandon him. This speaks to God’s love and grace and mercy. But I don’t think it should give us an excuse to be cocky about our wrongs. Wrong doing is serious business in the kingdom of God.
Thought for today: I know that lots of us have experienced unmerited grace. Examples that come to my mind include: a kid I know whose dad just bailed him out of jail for the umpteenth time – with no thanks from the child, a wife I know who chooses to forgive her husband’s infidelity, a child of alcoholic parents who is choosing to not self-medicate with alcohol and drugs in spite of his chaotic family system…the list is long. But unmerited grace should not be used as an excuse for unwillingness to own up to one’s wrong doing. Just because you’ve dodged the bullet today doesn’t mean you didn’t deserve consequences for your actions. Why not man up and do the right thing – even if it looks like you can skate through with no ill effect?
Thought for tomorrow: Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”? Proverbs 20:9 NIV
May 10
Teresa McBean
May 9
Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
May 9
Recommended Reading Psalm 26 and 1 Peter 3
I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil where a guy (60 days sober) was declaring his utter recoveredness – to coin a phrase. He was going on and on and on about how his life was transformed. His future in-laws weren’t buying it. They argued that this guy had tried rehab numerous times and managed to “walk the line” of sobriety for months at a time – but never years. In true Dr. Phil fashion, there was lots of drama and it made for a great story.
So what do you think? Would you want him marrying your daughter on day 72 of sobriety?
As you read Psalm 26, the psalmist is also speaking of his integrity, innocence, pure motives, hatred of evil, refusal to hang out with evil doers, and his firm stance on solid ground. That’s awesome. But I wonder…is it true? Surely it was true for Job, and when he made those rash statements his friends questioned his ability for self-confrontation much like those potential in-laws on Dr. Phil and I do when I read the words of this psalmist.
So really, who’s to say?
Thought for today: God is the one to say how we’re really doing. We give Him that opportunity when we admit to him the exact nature of the wrongs that popped up as we inventoried our life. Let’s give him a chance to speak into our lives. If we’re righteous as Job, the psalmist and the kid on Dr. Phil – cool. If not, we know where to start working on our stuff.
Thought for tomorrow: For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it. Proverbs 5:6 NLT
May 9
Teresa McBean
May 9
Recommended Reading Psalm 26 and 1 Peter 3
I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil where a guy (60 days sober) was declaring his utter recoveredness – to coin a phrase. He was going on and on and on about how his life was transformed. His future in-laws weren’t buying it. They argued that this guy had tried rehab numerous times and managed to “walk the line” of sobriety for months at a time – but never years. In true Dr. Phil fashion, there was lots of drama and it made for a great story.
So what do you think? Would you want him marrying your daughter on day 72 of sobriety?
As you read Psalm 26, the psalmist is also speaking of his integrity, innocence, pure motives, hatred of evil, refusal to hang out with evil doers, and his firm stance on solid ground. That’s awesome. But I wonder…is it true? Surely it was true for Job, and when he made those rash statements his friends questioned his ability for self-confrontation much like those potential in-laws on Dr. Phil and I do when I read the words of this psalmist.
So really, who’s to say?
Thought for today: God is the one to say how we’re really doing. We give Him that opportunity when we admit to him the exact nature of the wrongs that popped up as we inventoried our life. Let’s give him a chance to speak into our lives. If we’re righteous as Job, the psalmist and the kid on Dr. Phil – cool. If not, we know where to start working on our stuff.
Thought for tomorrow: For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it. Proverbs 5:6 NLT
May 9
Teresa McBean
May 8
Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
May 8
Recommended Reading Psalm 25 and 1 Peter 2
Today is a great day to NOT skip your recommended reading in the Psalms. It’s very step five-esque. Read away!
Thought for today: One parting thought: don’t forget why you’re doing this. Oh, sure, it has a lot to do with the benefits reaped (and hoped for by the psalmist) as one confesses – but here’s a big vision thought for you: your willingness to keep stepping through this process will determine the outcome for others too. In your community - wherever that is – others are in need of a person of integrity, wisdom, discernment, kindness, patience, and willingness to serve others. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re living in a world of hurt. This hurt is no respecter of socio-economic status, race, creed or any other measure we might employ to determine whether others are experiencing the good life. Our communities are in need of spiritual advocates who get what the good life really looks like AND who have the experience to point others in the right direction.
Thought for tomorrow: So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness. 1 Peter 2:1-3 NLT
God isn’t trying to get us to behave like nuns; He wants us to grow up into the kind of people in whom He can plant a grand epic adventure and watch it thrive. (Maybe God will call you to be a nun with a grand epic adventure and that’s cool, but my point is that God is not withholding the good life from us or asking us to live an austere life with no earthly pleasures.)
May 8
Teresa McBean
May 8
Recommended Reading Psalm 25 and 1 Peter 2
Today is a great day to NOT skip your recommended reading in the Psalms. It’s very step five-esque. Read away!
Thought for today: One parting thought: don’t forget why you’re doing this. Oh, sure, it has a lot to do with the benefits reaped (and hoped for by the psalmist) as one confesses – but here’s a big vision thought for you: your willingness to keep stepping through this process will determine the outcome for others too. In your community - wherever that is – others are in need of a person of integrity, wisdom, discernment, kindness, patience, and willingness to serve others. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re living in a world of hurt. This hurt is no respecter of socio-economic status, race, creed or any other measure we might employ to determine whether others are experiencing the good life. Our communities are in need of spiritual advocates who get what the good life really looks like AND who have the experience to point others in the right direction.
Thought for tomorrow: So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness. 1 Peter 2:1-3 NLT
God isn’t trying to get us to behave like nuns; He wants us to grow up into the kind of people in whom He can plant a grand epic adventure and watch it thrive. (Maybe God will call you to be a nun with a grand epic adventure and that’s cool, but my point is that God is not withholding the good life from us or asking us to live an austere life with no earthly pleasures.)
May 8
Teresa McBean
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