Day 73 - Still hopeless
Scripture focus: "This is the meaning of the parable. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved." Luke 8:12 NIV
After feeding the new family, we settle into our evening's plan. Soon we find ourselves engaged in a lively discussion about the nature of cravings. We talk about how addiction isn't about character so much as it is about chemistry - a defect in the pleasure center of the brain. This concept causes the mom with the three kids to question the group's sanity. Unfortunately, she's too polite to ask in front of the group.
"Ok. I heard what you said tonight. And I don't mean to be rude, but you are dead wrong lady."
"Tell me more," I urge.
"I'm an addict - in case you didn't know that. And my brain has nothing to do with it. I'll tell you why I'm an addict. My daddy was one and my mother too. I've been using since I was eight years old. That's just the way it is. No way did I have stress when I was eight years old! Most kids have rules - I had none. Most kids have to go to school and clean their rooms and do chores. My parents didn't expect anything from me. Nada. Nothing. Zip. I had the life any kid would want - no supervision. What stress?" Suddenly she pauses, and looks at me. She softens her voice, "I know you're probably a nice enough person and you're just trying to make all of us feel better. But I am a born and bred addict; nothing will ever change for me. Lady, you just don't understand." Of course, she's right; there's a lot I don't understand. I do, however, understand that she's trying to convince me that no good seed can flourish in the soil of her very hard heart. I also believe that although kids may want to live like Peter Pan - growing up in an addicted home isn't the same as living in "Neverland" with the "Lost Boys." Kids with no rules have no boundaries to keep them safe. Kids who don't have to go to school often choose in their immaturity not to go to school - thereby assuring themselves of an uncertain career path in the future. Kids who never have to clean their rooms often live in homes where mothers and fathers never clean the house - or the bathrooms - or the dishes - or the clothes. No supervision often means abandonment and no loving accountability. Smoking dope with your parents when you're a kid is not the good life!!
I'm reminded of the story she told me a few hours ago. No job; no money; no spouse; three kids; no food; no heat; no hope. How exactly is life as an addicted parent working for her? "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure." She's magnanimous now that she's gotten me all straightened out.
"What if you're wrong?"
Recommended reading: Numbers 19 and 20 in the morning; Luke 1 in the evening
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1 comment:
I was thinking about this article while in the shower this morning. I remember that Saturday. I came in later than I usually do and saw speaking to the young lady you're referring to. Unfortunately I cannot tell you what she looked like. That got me to thinking. How can I hope to one day help people when I don't notice nor care enough to notice someone's who's hurting.
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