Day 1 - Wake up and recover your life

Scripture focus: God's message: "Heaven's my throne, earth is my footstool. What sort of house could you build for me? What holiday spot reserve for me? I made all this! I own all this!" God's decree. Isaiah 66:1-2 (The Message)

Erwin McManus has written a book called Wide Awake. In this book he asks a question – what would the world look like if the future of our planet was dependent upon our dreams? Would our dreams, if fulfilled, create a better world and an awesome future? This month our devotional time will focus on learning what it means to trust God when he tells us that he desires for us to recover our life – and our dreams.

If you are interested in considering God's ways, you might want to read the thirty-seventh chapter of the book of Ezekiel – where God breathes new life into old, dry bones. It's an amazing story.

Can you imagine what would happen if we trusted God to breathe into the old, dry, dead spots in our own lives?

McManus says that not all our dreams will come true. But no dream will come true that is discarded.

I wonder, do you dream? I'm encouraged to hear McManus tell us that dreams and imagination are the place where God often has conversations with his people.

We will never achieve that which we cannot first imagine.

Dream big.

Recommended reading: Numbers 1 – 3

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 31 - Love, love and more love

Scripture focus: This is the way God put it: "They found grace out in the desert, these people who survived the killing. Israel, out looking for a place to rest, met God out looking for them!" God told them, "I've never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love! And so now I'll start over with you and build you up again, dear virgin Israel. You'll resume your singing, grabbing tambourines and joining the dance. You'll go back to your old work of planting vineyards on the Samaritan hillsides, and sit back and enjoy the fruit— oh, how you'll enjoy those harvests! The time's coming when watchmen will call out from the hilltops of Ephraim: 'On your feet! Let's go to Zion, go to meet our God!'" Jeremiah 31:3 (The Message)

How sweet it is to know that we can't outrun God.

As we crave times of rest, be aware that God is out looking for us.

Expect love, love and more love!

No matter what you have, or have not done, God continues to be eager to start over with us, building us up, joining the dance.

Recommended reading: Proverbs 10-11

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 30 - Recommendations for the ungrateful heart

Scripture focus: My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. Colossians 2:6-7 (The Message)

Yesterday's devotional suggested that our attitude of gratitude is a decent measuring stick for whether or not we're living deeply rooted in God's love. What happens if we discover that we aren't particularly grateful?

Recommendations for the ungrateful heart

1. Pity parties - ones that are attended rarely and where the guests leave early - are sometimes helpful. It's okay to host a pity party. Keep them to a minimum, and for heaven's sake - show up late and leave early!
2. Make a gratitude list. You can keep a running total of gratitude, build a new one each day, laminate it and make copies - so that you can review your list on a regular basis. This is particularly helpful during times of high stress.
3. Limit your interaction with the extremes. Perpetual perkiness is annoying and downright relapse friendly, as is time spent with the pessimistic at heart. Find a good friend who listens well and patiently but also is able to provide trusted feedback and balance to your story. I appreciate my friends who listen and empathetically reflect back my words. But I really, really appreciate the ones who, having done all that great listening, might add some personal insight of their own. Remember, you don't want a friend who says, "Well, you think you've got troubles! My situation is much worse than that!"
4. Exercise, especially when you don't feel like it.
5. Get outside in the sun. Only twenty minutes is enough to provide a big boost.
6. Treat yourself in some way that doesn't complicate your life. I avoid anything that is illegal, immoral or fattening. I like going to the library and checking out a book on tape, then listening to it as I travel in my car. This avoids the worrying I might choose to do during my drive.
7. List or speak to another about the issues, fears and concerns in your life that are stealing your joy. But don't dwell on them. Maybe make a list. But don't post it on your mirror - tuck it away. Once told or written, do not give your brain permission to dwell on the problem.
8. After you've given yourself a break from your worries, make an appointment with yourself or a good support team to begin the work of solving the problem. Procrastination, freezing up with anxiety, and avoidance increase stress.

These are some of the things that work for me. Perhaps you guys have others, and can make suggestions on the NorthStar Community facebook page, or on the devotional blog....

Recommended reading: Proverbs 8-9

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 29 - Self-assessment

Scripture focus: My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. Colossians 2:6-7 (The Message)

One of the favorite questions I've ever been asked is a simple, straightforward one: "How does anyone ever know how they're really doing?"

It's a great question.

We've learned the importance of acknowledging our feelings, but we've also heard that we shouldn't allow them to determine our steps.

Most of us realize memories can be clouded, and can even been downright faulty. Yet we know that often our perceptions and memories unconsciously drive our choices in the present.

Everyone has heard about the propensity to live in the land of denial. We're told we can't quite trust our decision-making, and we need a community to help us navigate the early stages of recovery.

So how can we feel any confidence in our ability to assess our progress?
It's pretty simple and straightforward.

Are you grateful?

Are you thankful for this new life God has provided?

Gratitude is one of those emotional litmus tests that has a high degree of accuracy. When we are capable of experiencing the attitude of gratitude in spite of our circumstances, we know we're moving toward maturity - maybe even life transformation.

If we want to assess our standing, I suggest we whip out our thanksgiving meter and see how much gratitude we're exuding.

Recommended reading: Psalms 23-25

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 28 - Deeply rooted

Scripture focus: My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. Colossians 2:6-7 (The Message)

There's an amazing amount of dynamic tension between listening and living.

As we "eat this book" - God's word, it's like having a picture to follow as one works on a puzzle. Without the picture, it would take us forever to figure out a 2000 piece puzzle. I happen to be working on a massive 2000+ puzzle of Vegas. If I didn't have a picture, I would have no clue what I was trying to put together.

Forrest Gump believes life is like a box of chocolates and he makes a compelling argument. I think it's more like a puzzle. And only as we look back on our life from the bird's eye view of heaven will we see the wonderful tapestry God wove in our lives.

So live.

Listen.

Live some more.

Wrestle with the discomfort that comes as we try to live life God's way. (Trust me, it is harder to live independently of him but giving up the habit of trying to get our own way all the time is like detox.)

Learn from the dis-ease.

Go live what you've learned.

Return to your listening.

Knowing in all of this that your life is being molded and shaped by the master.

Recommended reading: Psalms 19-22

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 27 - Lessons from the edge

Scripture focus: My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. Colossians 2:6-7 (The Message)

"Just go ahead with what you've been given." Start where you are; take one step at a time. Which step, you ask?

Need to lose weight? Check. But who says you have to lose it all today?

Need to exercise more? Check. That doesn't mean you have to run a marathon!

Need to figure out how to stop having panic attacks? Even if you don't stop them completely, you can learn how to manage them effectively.

Need to decide whether you're going to stay with your spouse or take your affair to the next level? Check. You don't have to have the answer today - you can get some wise counsel.

Need a new sponsor, or maybe just a recommitment to going to a meeting? Check. Then go! Make one good decision today. Just for today take the next right step in your recovery journey.

Need to have a quiet time each day? Check. But if you skip a day, or shave off a few minutes, the world won't end.

Need to try to read through the bible because that's what good Christians do? Check. However, no one has been kicked out of heaven because they couldn't manage to get through Leviticus.

Need to figure out how to stop yelling at your kids because good Christians don't yell at their kids? Check. Ask for help - this habit will take a while to replace.

Need to cut your grass and weed your garden? Check. But if you don't, it'll be there tomorrow.

Working on your short game in golf? Check. It's okay to acknowledge that there is only one Tiger.

Paul says this is simple and straightforward - "Just go ahead with what you've been given." Take your messy, every day, walking-around life, and live. Don't try to check off all the boxes - instead, practice the principle of listening to God. Along the way, learn how to live deeply rooted in your life with Christ. It's okay to start living, and see where he leads. It's okay to pick one box to work on, so long as we understand who provides the fuel to run the race. Learning to love God and let him give to us isn't the same thing as acquiring the perfect life.

Recommended reading: Psalms 17-18

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 26 - Simple and straightforward? I think not!

Scripture focus: My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. Colossians 2:6-7 (The Message)

Our friend in the UK is feeling confessional today - and he has a great story that illustrates a point I'm eager to make. Although Paul's counsel to us in Colossians may seem simple and straightforward to him, rarely do we humans actually acquire a simple and straightforward life. So, let's listen in as our friend commentates on our tendency to try to live a self-sufficient (which makes for a very complicated) life - and the people around us who want to believe that this kind of life is possible.

"If I get the impression that people think of me as doing 'OK' then I kind of try to live up to that which sets me up for a fall since I don't want to disappoint them and that makes me feel like I'm living a lie and that brings shame etc. I've been living this pattern for years and this is what I have just started to break in going to church so I am careful to make sure that people know I have absolutely not got my stuff together. Despite me trying to be honest, the elder who welcomed me at church that first week was so uneasy with me wanting to attend their 12 step group and was desperately trying to get me into their more middle class "tea and biscuits" home groups and cozy courses for new Christians. It was actually funny because he was filtering out everything I said to him about my issues - when he asked me what I did for a living and I explained that I ran my own business because I was unable to work for anybody else he took that to mean I was too independent and despite a few polite attempts to correct him (we Brits are so socially uptight we'd drown rather than cry for help so as to 'not cause a fuss') he wasn't getting my drift. It was actually hard work to dissuade people."

How funny. It seems that we are so set in our minds on thinking that it is both normal and healthy to be "fine" that we forget that most of us don't really have much personal experience with actually living a "fine" life. Who has acted as that elder in your life - hoping against hope that you're fine, encouraging you to take the tea and biscuit cure while you're more in need of a dramatic, difficult but ultimately miraculous heart transplant?

Our UK friend closes with - "Anyway, got my 12 step group tonight so I have some worrying and stressing I need to be getting on with."

Please, I beg you. It's okay to confess the need to worry and stress AND let your living spill over into thanksgiving. These are not mutually exclusive concepts, simply the evidence of a normal, messy, definitely non-linear kind of life.

Whether in calm or storm - may you find God in all the crevices of your experience today.

Recommended reading: Psalms 11-16

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 25 -

Scripture focus: "The seed cast on good earth is the person who hears and takes in the News, and then produces a harvest beyond his wildest dreams." Matthew 13:23 (The Message)

"It was actually this that finally gave me confidence to get out and make it to church since I now have the confidence that in fear or danger I can 'do a Forrest Gump' and run to the safe place. That first morning that I went to church I wore my running shoes just in case. You know, after worship that first Sunday a lady in the congregation prophesied to the church that God was saying that there was a 'running man' there that day who had for years been simultaneously running to God and running away from him and that this was a 'safe place' and I knew it was me she was talking about. My girlfriend burst into tears at that point - she likes to shout 'run Forrest run' and laughed encouragingly at my idea to wear my running shoes that morning so she knew it was me that God was talking to. I'm also no longer anxious about being lightheaded or breathless since I realize that they are feelings experienced by the healthiest people on the planet every day. Maybe I should just come visit your church one day in the future wearing a T-Shirt that simply says 'Teresa Was Right' and then you can skip preaching and get an early lunch for once."

Oh, the beauty of a seed cast on good earth that produces a person who hears and takes in the news, and then produces a harvest beyond his wildest dreams. My friend, your dreams have just begun.

With that said, our community says to you: "'Run, Forrest, run!' Come visit us. We have a seat saved. We would love it if for once she'd skip preaching and get us all out for an early lunch!"

What I would say to you is, "I love your T-Shirt. Can I get one for each of my kids?"

Recommended reading: Psalms 8-10

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 24 -

Scripture focus: For here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to take you out of these countries, gather you from all over, and bring you back to your own land. I'll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed. I'll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You'll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You'll be my people! I'll be your God! Ezekiel 36:24-28 (The Message)

"Talking of God using things in unexpected ways, I forgot to mention, about 4 months ago I took you up on your advice to get some daily exercise. God brought my way a chance to buy a powered treadmill from a gym (weighs more than a piano this thing) around the time I heard you speak about the value of exercise and, being quite sedentary (to say the least), I realized it was a thing I needed to pay some attention to."

This is good. He's paying attention. He's conscious.

"At first I could barely walk for 5 minutes and any attempt at running resulted in an anxiety attack since many of my health anxieties are to do with hyperventilating and lightheadedness. Now four months later I do 40 minutes a day six days per week. I can only run about 5 minutes max and then walk for 2 minutes and run another 5 minutes and so on but that has given me real confidence and I cover about 5KM (just over 3 miles) a day now running most of the way. Of course, if I am honest some days I hate it but I love it enough the other days to just keep pressing on with it."

Here's what I love about the story. He's giving us an example of the process of God making us able to do what he tells us and live by his commands. It's a process. This story would have been totally unappealing if he had said he started an exercise program and just won a marathon.

I love how some days he hates it, and he's honest about it.

When I took up jogging, my mother said the funniest thing. "Why do you want to do that?" She asked.

"Well, it's good for you. It keeps you fit. It's hard and I like a challenge." I replied.

She looked at me and responded, "All I know is that I've never seen a happy runner." End of story.

A new heart and new spirit don't come with a guarantee of perpetual happiness. That's okay. More on that point tomorrow.

Recommended reading: Acts 25-28

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 23 - God calms fear as we live in his presence

Scripture focus: Jerusalem will be told: "Don't be afraid. Dear Zion, don't despair. Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs." Zephaniah 3:17 (The Message)

It had been one of those weekends when I judged myself harshly - not liking the way I communicated God's message of hope. I was feeling like I let God down, running back to my spiritually anorexic place - when I received the encouraging email you've been reading in the previous devotionals. His courage in the face of fear fueled my fire, because his story reminded me of all that I know about God, but sometimes forget. I'm glad I wrote that note of thanks back - because the sequel was awesome.

"Well God does work in some unusual ways...I can only think how it's funny that God has each of us in a capacity (or to a degree) that we hadn't expected - which I suppose trumps any reflexive self-appraisal."

Self-appraisal has some merit, but only if it is surrounded by a firm foundation of God-appraisal. Performance is not the pathway to peace but that principle is not an excuse for failing to prepare, and working diligently to improve our serve. So it is with trust and faith that we allow ourselves to acknowledge our shortcomings, and extend ourselves grace. It's okay to feel like we've failed, so long as we remember to run back into the arms of our heavenly Father for comfort (as opposed to sticking our head in a jar of peanut butter).

Here's how I try to apply Zephaniah.

I say to myself - "I am afraid, that's how I feel...but I can make a decision to not let fear determine my path. I do feel despairing sometimes, but that doesn't mean I'm going to choose to despair - there's a difference. God is present among us, he's the strong warrior there to save. I don't have to be strong. I just have to show up. Once I show up, I'm back, and he'll calm me with his love and delight me with his songs."

More singing tomorrow....

Recommended reading: Acts 22-24

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 22 - Stay alert

Scripture focus: Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. 1 Peter 5:8-11 (The Message)

"I have learnt from you that it's the little daily, 'domestic' habits and things that matter and in that respect I have to agree with the Beatles that 'it's getting better all the time' even though I do know that in many ways it has to get worse before it gets better. Please pray that I can keep turning up even when the flak starts to fly. Seriously, I know my life depends on my ability to keep turning up so please pray that for me if you get a moment."

"P.S. God has given me a real compassion for people like me and a vision for a Grand Epic Adventure. However, I agree with you in that it's what you do that matters, not what you promise or intend, so I won't share it with you now, but I will hopefully, God willing, show you one day."

Now that's a good story.

Tune in for the sequel tomorrow....

Recommended reading: Acts 19-21

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 21 - We have Christ's Spirit

Scripture focus: The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature, can't receive the gifts of God's Spirit. There's no capacity for them. They seem like so much silliness. Spirit can be known only by spirit—God's Spirit and our spirits in open communion. Spiritually alive, we have access to everything God's Spirit is doing, and can't be judged by unspiritual critics. Isaiah's question, "Is there anyone around who knows God's Spirit, anyone who knows what he is doing?" has been answered: Christ knows, and we have Christ's Spirit. 1 Corinthians 2:14-16 (The Message)

"I've felt like such a pathetic coward all these years being afraid of such dumb things especially since I am a well-built ex rugby player who looks (but doesn't feel) the macho type and for years I tried the 'exposure therapy,' grit and determination approach which just led to more shame - I know now that the cycle of shame is like a man fighting himself and the stronger you are the longer and more bruising the fight and the more exhausting it is. The 12 step group was a very powerful experience and the stories were so precious - I had a palpable sense of how precious they were to God. I have to admit that I did feel anxious and uncomfortable yet I realized that I wanted reality in all of its painful glory and somehow I felt had to go back after people had been so honest in exposing their pain and needs. I was able to confess to them a little thumbnail sketch of my story, how my problems had cost me a marriage, a hard earned academic career in research and lecturing and a lot of lost years, friends, opportunities and experiences. I think that the sense of loss still has some kicking in to do yet and I just trust and pray to God that my best years are yet to come."

Christ's Spirit dwells in the midst of our messy stories.

To be continued....

Recommended reading: Acts 16-18

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 20 - God delivers

Scripture focus: "I still have many things to tell you, but you can't handle them now. But when the Friend comes, the Spirit of the Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is. He won't draw attention to himself, but will make sense out of what is about to happen and, indeed, out of all that I have done and said. He will honor me; he will take from me and deliver it to you. Everything the Father has is also mine. That is why I've said, 'He takes from me and delivers to you.'" John 16:12-15 (The Message)

"It's interesting that your devotional today mentions the Biggest Loser and how it's essentially a physical act of healing, public confession because that's exactly what showing up at church has been for me as it required me to be honest and public with my shameful secrets - a process I would like to continue in getting to know people there better and being more honest. I felt the weight of the world come off my shoulders almost immediately and met Jesus in a big way - it's like a loving community is the antidote to shame and being in a place where it's OK to be openly fearful or hurting is so healing."

At NSC, we experience this same kind of relief. My husband Pete loves his Sunday morning men's study group. One Sunday a young man showed up from a local treatment facility to attend the men's meeting. Pete walked up, and said, "Hey, I'm Pete."

The young man, shaking and fearful, raised a sweaty palm for the traditional manly handshake and replied, "Hi. I'm very very anxious."

Soon others joined Pete in reassuring our anxious new visitor. Pete felt that the words that touched him the most were the ones spoken by guys who were also in this same facility, just a little further along in their walk. They explained how fearful and anxious they felt in the early days of detox. Some even confessed to feeling anxious even in the moment of sharing.

The Spirit of truth works in community. He can work in isolation too. After all, God can do what God wants! But there's something very profoundly beautiful about not feeling alone in one's suffering. Straight up testimonies of lost/found/fine are good. But I prefer the ones that say, lost/found/freaked out but somewhat relieved/wonder what God's going to do next....

More on what God is doing in the UK tomorrow.

Recommended reading: Acts 13-15

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 19 - In trouble but without judgment

Scripture focus: "If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God, "I'll get you out of any trouble. I'll give you the best of care if you'll only get to know and trust me. Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times; I'll rescue you, then throw you a party. I'll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!" Psalm 91:14-16 (The Message)

Our friend continues, "Well I wanted to let you know that the 'lame have walked' as I made it to church last Sunday, to a 12 step group on Thursday and I'm going to be turning up to both regularly from now on.... As I told you in my previous email, I seem to have understood the most of what you'd taught but still felt a blockage of fear or what I can only describe as a very strong reluctance or inner barrier. I tried to go to a local church a few times but couldn't make it and had some confused ideas about which kind of church and where I should go - I've even driven up outside the church, watched the folks pour in and then driven away too fearful to enter."

But don't the angels cry out, "Fear not?" Should we suggest to our friend that fear is an inappropriate emotional response? Frankly, if he lived on this side of the pond, we'd be more likely to throw him a party. Because what he's doing is calling out. And when men and women call out to God - we fully expect him to answer. We expect God to answer whether we've gotten our emotions all properly aligned or not. We expect God to be on our side whether we're performing well or not.

"Then, last Sunday morning when I came to do my usual dance with God he showed me Matthew 18:20 that says, 'For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.' And it hit me in a rush - if I wanted a 'dead rising,' 'lame walking' bang-transformation change then I needed to 'do a Zacchaeus' and just get myself in the way of the living Jesus - and he tipped me off that he literally hangs out where two, three or more come together in his name - suddenly it didn't seem to matter where I went or what kind of state I would be when I got there."

Hear his message:

• God raises the dead and transforms lives.
• God works in community.
• We need to get ourselves in the way of the living Jesus.
• It doesn't matter one wit to God what kind of state we are in when we get there.

God is not interested in our performing for him so that he can throw us some treats. He wants to raise the dead and transform lives. But in his thoroughly non-codependent ways, he waits for us to show him that we welcome relationship with him. And when we show our interest - however misguided, self-serving, and non-relational we are - he lifts up his robes and runs bare legged toward us. Very cool. What are we waiting for?

Recommended reading: Acts 10-12

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 18 - God gives, we receive

Scripture focus: "The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, reveal who you are. Set the world right; do what's best—as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the devil. You're in charge! You can do anything you want! You're ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes." Matthew 6:7-13 (The Message)

We have a wild and crazy fellowship at NorthStar Community, including an active web community. One of our friends in the UK has joined our family from afar. His story is so cool and messy, that I've asked him to share it with us, and he's kindly agreed. It's what I call a really, really good testimony. It's messy and non-linear and offends our sensibilities. It causes us to rethink our prejudices and redefine what it means to be a full out committed follower of Jesus. Let me introduce you...

"You may recall that I emailed you to tell you that I diligently listen in to your broadcasts here in the UK and am unable to go to Church due to my 'agoraphobia' and other issues including having a drinking problem."

Hmmm. What would we say about that? Do you suggest I write our friend back and urge him to read and apply Galatians 5:1? Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand!

Do you recommend that we set him straight, demand that he perform better, call him a prodigal son and imply that he better get his act together?

Or, in light of what we've been studying, would this be a message more fit for godly consumption: Welcome home. We have the same kind of uneven, messy story as you. You belong. It would be a killer commute from the UK to Richmond, Virginia. Thank God for the internet!! Let's keep up the conversation, let me know what you're learning on the other side of the pond. We're praying for you, pray for us!

Underneath those words is an implied message: God gives good gifts to the righteous and the unrighteous. He sends rain and sun (he told us this in the gospel of Matthew, and his audience were a bunch of farmers, so they get that the rain is good and so is the sun) to the naughty and nice. God loves to give and give and give to us. Not because of what we do, but in light of who he is. Our stories may be messy, but God's good intentions toward us are unwavering. And we believe his prevailing purposes will prevail. So keep chewing, digesting, feeding on his word.

Recommended reading: Acts 7-9

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 17 - The dangers of wedding good circumstances and bad too tightly with God's favor or displeasure

Scripture focus: Satan retorted, "So do you think Job does all that out of the sheer goodness of his heart? Why, no one ever had it so good! You pamper him like a pet, make sure nothing bad ever happens to him or his family or his possessions, bless everything he does—he can't lose!" Job 1:9-10 (The Message)

I once heard a preacher say that Satan's plan to kill, steal and destroy hasn't changed much over the years because it hasn't needed to. We continue to buy his lies. Lies like: God only loves the children that behave. Or God loves the prodigal, but don't try his patience - if you are a prodigal shape up fast. Or how about this one - God blesses the good, and punishes the bad - so watch out, mister! And so, when Satan comes to tempt us from our romance with God, we are so easily led astray. His arguments make sense to us - because, frankly, our belief system is often faulty, leaving us vulnerable.

I used to think this was a direct result of bad, inadequate or the absence of good biblical teaching. I don't really buy that argument anymore. Jeff VanVonderen and Dale and Juanita Ryan have provided a vocabulary for a more satisfying answer. For me, I think my reluctance to let God be God - giving and giving and giving himself to me - has left me vulnerable to Satan's influence.

If I could just learn how to perform, or even up the accounting ledger of good versus bad behaving - I'd be free!! I, like those two prodigal sons, find it difficult to truly understand that God gives, and I receive. I feel exposed. But after years of chewing and growling over the word of God like a dog with a meaty bone, I move in my mindset from reading the prodigal son story to reading the prodigal SONS story and my spirit sings out, "This is true. This is true. This is what that parable means. This is how it applies to you. This is a fuller understanding, completely congruent with the totality of the word of God. This is it."

I'm not alone in my gushing. Our son Scott is taking a class at Fuller from Professor Ryan, so I sent Scott a rough draft of this month's devotionals, and asked him, "Son, have I captured the essence of the teachings of Dr. Ryan?"

His reply: "This is the single most important concept in all Christianity." We McBeans love the big statement.

So here's the point: God's ways and ours are different. We prefer to perform; God prefers loving, unconditional relationship. We prefer tidy endings; God loves a good paradox. We prefer to think of ourselves as powerful; God delights in our acknowledgement of powerlessness. Messy testimonies, unpredictable twists and turns in the plots of our life story do not disqualify us from the kingdom of God.

Our needs, wants, desires, longings and yearnings do not intimidate or disgust God.

Recommended reading: Acts 4-6

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 16 - Giving false testimony

Scripture focus: Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up! Galatians 3:2-4 (The Message)

One of the problems that I have had in my life is chaffing under the tutelage of a perfect "testimony." This internal resistance has sometimes made me feel practically unchristian. It's the kind of testimony where someone stands up, talks about how before they knew Christ their life was a mess. Then, in predictable fashion they tell of their conversion to faith and from that moment on, life becomes peachy, practically perfect.

My internal baloney meter has a hard time listening to these kinds of salvation stories. Maybe, I think to myself, I'm just jealous. Why didn't I get those same results? What's wrong with...me? Filled with barely suppressed resentment, these stories of redemption ultimately trigger a sense of shame and usually result in a renewed attempt on my part to get spiritually fit.

I could write a book entitled, Confessions of a Spiritual Anorexic, but who would buy it?

Then I discovered the third chapter of Galatians.

I continue to chew on verses two through four. It feels like there's more embedded in these verses than I can understand. Raised on linear testimonies of once lost, then found, now fine - somehow, these verses sound more authentic to me.

I know that it is naughty to judge the testimony of another. I'm confessing how close this conversation bumps up against that line - and I don't want to step over into the dark land of judgment. But I'm also asking something more. Is there something to this strong emotional response that is larger than envy? Could it be, is it even possible, that, at least for me and maybe others like me, there are more circuitous stories of soul repair than those simple, straightforward tales of bad to great in one moment of miraculous healing?

More on a messier story of redemption in the days ahead.

Recommended reading: Acts 1-3

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 15 - Spiritual anorexia

Scripture focus: "His father said, 'Son, you don't understand. You're with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he's alive! He was lost, and he's found!'" Luke 15:31-32 (The Message)

Lesson 8

In the book Soul Repair, the authors provide some important indicators that might help us discover if we, too, might be suffering from a serious case of spiritual anorexia. Here are some signs:

• Taking time for spiritual nurture seems dangerous or self-indulgent. Some might see it as self-absorbed or selfish.
• Ministry addiction is another indicator. Serving is sometimes a way to hide from our own inability to receive God's love.
• Frustration in serving. When we try to give away what we have not received, then we really don't have anything to offer someone in need. So our ministry efforts leave us exhausted and resentful. There's no joy in the serving, because it doesn't come from an overflow of gratitude, but is really a misguided attempt to buy God's love or approval.
• When "receiving" is not part of our spiritual experience, something is out of order. God gives good gifts to everyone - even us - this isn't a promise intended for others, but ourselves.
• If we feel like our needs will never be met, this hopelessness results in exhaustion, depression and anger. But remember - God gives good gifts. So maybe the failure to transfer cascading gifts from father to child isn't the result of a father who withholds, but is instead related to a child who refuses to receive.
• Spiritual perfectionism and body dysmorphia. People who are anorexic look in a mirror and see a fatty while the rest of the world looks on in horror at a skeleton. Spiritual anorexia functions similarly. Maybe we think if we get small enough, we won't burden God. If we lose ourselves in service, maybe he'll throw us a bread crumb (reduced-calorie, of course). But Jesus teaches a different message. He is delighted when we show up and return with our broken, damaged, and confused selves. He seeks out and celebrates the lost. He throws a party. We fear being a burden, God rejoices when we are honest enough to express our needs!
• Anorexia demands a perfectionistic control over calories in and calories out. The desire is for a perfect body. Anything less is not good enough. We bring that same desire for perfection into our relationship with God. How funny he must think we are! We, so eager to craft a perfect image, standing before the one who made us in His image.

Do any of these bulleted items remind you of...you? For a much more thorough and better study of this topic, please read the book Soul Repair. (This will be the book of the month at NorthStar Community in September but copies are already available at the NSC book table.) Recommended reading: Luke 22-24

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 14 - Big brother's spiritual anorexia

Scripture focus: "The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. The son said, 'Look how many years I've stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!'" Luke 15:28-30 (The Message)

Lesson 7

Although the casual reader of this story would think that the younger son is the black sheep of the family, serious students of this passage realize that the oldest son isn't a model child either. He's well behaved. He performs day after day. But he, like his sibling, suffers from a bad case of spiritual anorexia. We see that in how he responds to the party thrown by his father in honor of the returning son.

First, he insults the father by not attending the party. He continues to offer insult by interrupting the father's celebration and rudely (notice how he doesn't even address the father with respect) accuses the father of maltreatment.

The oldest son is particularly insulted by the slaying of the calf. He accuses the father of wasteful squandering of resources, and implies that his father has never done this for him. The son wants to have some right over the father's things. He acts as if he should get a vote about how the father chooses to use his material possessions.

Whether we have a nasty habit of wild living or a propensity to try to get our needs met by being really, really good (codependent) - both extremes have the same root problem. In this parable, the younger son wants to take on the role of hired hand - so that he can pay his way back into the family and the older brother does the same. He too acts like this is a business proposition. He gives and gives to the father as he serves as a dutiful son carrying out the business of his father.

Neither the youngest son nor the oldest one seems to have any idea that the father wants to give and give and give to them. Both don't seem interested in simply receiving, they want a relationship built on a contractual exchange of goods and services.

Both boys act like their relationship with the father is somehow dependent upon them earning their way into his good graces. But the father models, for both of his boys, a desire to give and a willingness to do so - even when the boys are behaving badly!

How have you tried to earn your way into the heart of the father? Have you noticed how his love for us is not dependent upon our ability to bring home the bacon and serve it for supper?

Recommended reading: Luke 19-21

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 13

Scripture focus: "All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day's work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, 'Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast—barbecued beef!—because he has him home safe and sound.'" Luke 15:25-27 (The Message)

Lesson 6

The slaying of a fatted calf was such a cultural statement of extravagance that everyone raised such a ruckus and even the houseboy was aware of the party menu. I served barbecued beef for dinner last night. My guys loved it - but the choice of entrée didn't cause a riot.

In Middle Eastern culture, most meals were vegetarian. Barbecued beef would have been a rare treat.

So we have another life lesson.

In the family of God, no expense is spared. God desires to serve up a fattened calf, metaphorically speaking, anytime we approach him with a want, a need, a longing.

My children love to tease me about my shortcomings when it comes to packing school lunches. Sheesh! One time, or maybe two...in the history of lunch making I was distracted and accidentally gave one child three sandwiches, another three bags of chips and the third one three cookies. God doesn't have such problems.

He is able, because he is God, to provide for us exactly what we need. Although there are conditions to this giving and receiving, they are not the conditions we might expect. In our humanity, we think God's conditions revolve around our good behaving or ability to express appreciation. Interestingly enough, that's not what God is asking. He's asking that we listen. His conditions aren't designed to up our peak performance, but instead, sharpen our ability to hear and ultimately respond to his shepherd's voice.

Why? Because if we don't learn how to hear, we'll end up following behind the backside of another sheep, or a false prophet, or a fool. Until we can distinguish God's voice from the hue and cry of this world, we won't have the ability to recognize the cascade of gifts he wants to give.

Receiving is our job. Giving is God's job.

We sure have gotten this part of the story all goofed up.

How have you turned the tale around? What evidence do you have that would indicate that you've confused God's role and yours?

Recommended reading: Luke 16-18

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 12 - Life in the family of God

Scripture focus: "But the father wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We're going to feast! We're going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!' And they began to have a wonderful time." Luke 15:22-24 (The Message)

Evidently, there are some instances when it is okay to not listen to your kids!

Lesson 5

Notice the father's response. He is not willing to accept restitution from his boy. He's not willing to take a pay off and balance the books. God doesn't dispense gifts to his children like we give out report card treats to ours. He isn't interested in bribing us for good behavior or withholding love when we disappoint.

God loves to give. Our job is to receive.

This offends us, does it not? It takes away our power to perform. It removes all control from our hands to manage our relationship with God. God is not interested in being managed by us. He's not interested in what we can do for him. He isn't asking us to grow strong, but is paradoxically providing opportunity for us to acknowledge our weakness.

God isn't giving us an opportunity to correct weaknesses so much as he is asking us to acknowledge needs, wants, and longings. He wants us to admit to him our vulnerabilities.

In tomorrow's study, we're going to take a look at the older son - who also struggles with spiritual anorexia.

But for today, think about how this young man's predicament might mirror your own. Have you preferred to think of God as someone you can pay off?

Do you struggle with the false belief that God thinks you owe him?

Do you freely accept all the good gifts God brings into your life - cascading down in lights from above?

Recommended reading: Luke 13-15

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 11 - Spiritual anorexia

Scripture focus: "When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: 'Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son ever again.'" Luke 15:20-21 (The Message)

Lesson 4

How does the dad respond to this plea?

The father doesn't wait to see if his son can indeed earn his way back into the family. Instead, he welcomes him without condition. This was probably not the welcome this son expected. In fact, he probably chaffed under such lavish loving. This boy would have been more comfortable performing an act of restitution than receiving from his dad. I bet a stern lecture or at least some serious groveling would have been easier to handle than this uncharacteristic display of unconditional love.

Certainly making amends would feel good - a kind of grand gesture at wiping the slate clean. Performing might prove the child's worth - but receiving yet again from a father he spurned actually accentuates his neediness. The father runs. Estate owners of his day don't run. They don't pick up their robes and bare their legs. This father acts more like a mother, showing absolute emotional abandon.

At our son's basketball game last weekend, Michael got his teeth rearranged. I almost charged the court, but fortunately for Michael, he resumed play before I could get my shoes on and leap over the people blocking my path. Pete didn't make a move toward our wounded baby. There's a basic biological difference in mothers and fathers that remains a mystery to me. But in this story, this dad breaks with tough guy tradition and runs like a girl to his son.

Books have been written about how the father's love is a vivid reminder of God's love for us. But that's not the part of the story I want to call your attention to. Instead, consider this: this son was spiritually anorexic (a term explained at length in Soul Repair).

As defined on page 43 of the book Soul Repair, "Spiritual anorexia is a kind of giving up on the possibility that God will meet our spiritual needs. Those of us who struggle with spiritual anorexia conclude that no more spiritual nurture is available. We must make do with the little we have. As a result, we live with a kind of lethargy, a resignation, a passivity, a hopelessness and despair that can sometimes be mistaken for contentment. We show up week after week at the spiritual dinner table, but we never eat." Are you spiritually anorexic?

Recommended reading: Luke 10-12

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 10 - Yukky amends

Scripture focus: "That brought him to his senses. He said, 'All those farmhands working for my father sit down to three meals a day, and here I am starving to death. I'm going back to my father. I'll say to him, Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son. Take me on as a hired hand.' He got right up and went home to his father. Luke 15:17-20 (The Message)

Lesson 3

The son doesn't ask to be restored to son-ship. Nor does he ask to be a servant or slave. What he's really requesting is an apprenticeship of sorts - a way to learn a trade, so that he can eventually earn an income.

Most commentators believe that this boy is trying to make restitution. He's doing an eighth step (for more information on the steps, see www.northstarcommunity.com and look for the Christ-centered 12 step information). His plan is an attempt to make amends.

The son tries to clean up his misdeeds much like one would balance an accounting ledger. If he can repay his debt, maybe everyone can forget that it was ever owed.

The amends process is both biblical and beneficial.

But we must guard against using it as a tool of manipulation, as a sort of bargaining chip to get ourselves back into the good graces of others without having to actually live in right relationship with them.

Have you ever used the amends making process as a way to salve your own bruised ego, rather than a necessary next step in righting a wrong?

Recommended reading: Luke 7 - 9

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 9 - Divided life

Scripture focus: "So the father divided the property between them. It wasn't long before the younger son packed his bags and left for a distant country. There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had. After he had gone through all his money, there was a bad famine all through that country and he began to hurt. He signed on with a citizen there who assigned him to his fields to slop the pigs. He was so hungry he would have eaten the corncobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any. Luke 15:12-16 (The Message)

Lesson 2

"So the father divided the property between them." Literally translated, this verse says he divided his life.

Big deal, right? The guy must be pretty rich if he's got something to divide. In today's tough economic times, we might speculate that his wealth shielded him from the cost of early divvying up of the estate. If we fail to take into account the tremendous cost of this transaction, we'll fail to miss the important lessons we need to learn.

This father's estate would have been his land. He didn't have IRA's or a stock portfolio. In order to have given this boy his inheritance, he'd have had to sell off one third of his land to give to his boy. To lose part of his land would tear apart this dad's life. The amount of land one owned determined their status in the community. The ability of a father to maintain control of his children was highly valued. The fact that he didn't send his son packing and instead, sold off his land would have caused him to lose standing in the community, cost him his reputation, and invite insult and mocking. This father was experiencing rejection and maintaining love for his son. This is radical.

Who has divided property for you? How many times have you cried out to God to rescue you, only to grab for the goodies without respecting the relationship once the crisis was averted? How have your choices caused those that you love pain, embarrassment, loss of standing in the community, insult and mocking?

It's an easy read to make note of the consequences for the boy's bad behavior - pig pens and groaning tummies tell a story many of us can relate to. But if we're going to experience life transformation, we must come to grips with our own need to learn how to pay attention to someone's pain other than our own. Sure the boy had consequences, but the dad's suffering was profound, and directly related to the son's rejection. It would be an easy and cheap way to avoid truth by falling into the trap of self-pity and shame as we identify with the youngest son's situation. Don't fall for this trap. Hang in with the story, wrestle with the words. Stay focused on the suffering of the entire family.

Recommended reading: Luke 4-6

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 8 - A Father's lavish love and a son's callous insolence

Scripture focus: Then he said, "There was once a man who had two sons. The younger said to his father, 'Father, I want right now what's coming to me.'" Luke 15:11-32 (The Message)

The prodigal son is a well-known biblical story. You've probably heard a kazillion messages on the subject. We're going to study this little story for the next few days, but I want to ask you to do something for me - will you read it as an exercise in scriptural wrestling?

As we talk about this story, ask yourself: How does this story make me feel? Who do I relate to in the passage? What does knowing this cause me to rethink or rearrange in my own life? What might I need to confess? These questions help us stay focused on the person most in need of a divine encounter with God - ourselves. The only person God holds us responsible for is ourselves. So I pray that this mini-study on a very familiar passage will have a very profound impact on each of our hearts.

Assume that this is a radical message. This really isn't about one son, but two. Both struggle with spiritual anorexia. (For more information on this topic, you'll want to read Soul Repair, by Jeff VanVonderen and Dale and Juanita Ryan.)

Lesson 1

The audacity of this son's request must not be missed. Basically, what this young man did was say to his dad, "Dad, I wish you were dead. But since you're not, and I really wish you were, I am going to act as if you are dead. I want my loot."

In biblical times, when you had two sons, the oldest child got a double portion. But this only happened after the father died.

The youngest son is asking for the father's stuff, without the father. He views the relationship as a means to an end. Although he wants the goodies that relationship as a son provides, he doesn't want to actually have to commit to a father/son relationship!

A traditional Middle Eastern father would respond by driving this impudent son out of the house with verbal and probably physical blows. But this dad doesn't do that - more on how the father responds tomorrow.

For today, spend some time asking God to show you where you have preferred the benefits of relationship - with God, with a spouse, with a parent, with a child - without wanting to bother with the relationship.

Recommended reading: Luke 1-3

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 7 - No false impressions

Scripture focus: "And you—you exiles whom I sent out of Jerusalem to Babylon—listen to God's Message to you. As far as Ahab son of Kolaiah and Zedekiah son of Maaseiah are concerned, the 'Babylonian specialists' who are preaching lies in my name, I will turn them over to Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, who will kill them while you watch. The exiles from Judah will take what they see at the execution and use it as a curse: 'God fry you to a crisp like the king of Babylon fried Zedekiah and Ahab in the fire!' Those two men, sex predators and prophet-impostors, got what they deserved. They pulled every woman they got their hands on into bed—their neighbors' wives, no less—and preached lies claiming it was my Message. I never sent those men. I've never had anything to do with them." God's Decree. "They won't get away with a thing. I've witnessed it all." Jeremiah 29:20-23 (The Message)

The tricky thing about daily devotionals is that there's usually only space for one point! Yesterday, the devotional focused on the need to listen to God's voice. But listening without obedience hardly counts as a virtue.

What we do with our daily lives provides a litmus test for our listening.

One of the points used in Jeremiah to illustrate this truth is the sexual behavior of Ahab and Zedekiah. "They pulled every woman they got their hands on into bed - their neighbors' wives, no less."

There aren't enough ways we can feed, water, clothe, and visit that will compensate for bad living in our daily lives.

Listening to God, really listening, results in serious following.

It changes how we manage our finances.

It guides our sexuality.

It determines the way we treat our partners.

It directs the way we parent our children.

It impacts the way we work.

It requires us to think about how we love others, even our enemies.

It demands that we take every loose thought and emotion, every belief and assumption, and hold it up to the light of God's word.

It makes us realize that it's probably a good thing to say regularly to ourselves, "I could be wrong."

Recommended reading: Leviticus 25 - 27

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 6 - First things first

Scripture focus: "But for right now, because you've taken up with these new-fangled prophets who set themselves up as 'Babylonian specialists,' spreading the word 'God sent them just for us!' God is setting the record straight: As for the king still sitting on David's throne and all the people left in Jerusalem who didn't go into exile with you, they're facing bad times. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, 'Watch this! Catastrophe is on the way: war, hunger, disease! They're a barrel of rotten apples. I'll rid the country of them through war and hunger and disease. The whole world is going to hold its nose at the smell, shut its eyes at the horrible sight. They'll end up in slum ghettos because they wouldn't listen to a thing I said when I sent my servant-prophets preaching tirelessly and urgently. No, they wouldn't listen to a word I said.'" God's Decree. Jeremiah 29:15-19 (The Message)

I had this weird experience recently after a Saturday night celebration service. I used the very familiar passage in Matthew where Jesus talks about how when we feed the hungry, clothe the poor, give water to the thirsty, and visit the imprisoned - we're doing it to him. He goes on to talk about how the choices we make in regards to loving the abandoned and ignored in our society will determine which pen - sheep or goat - we'll be relegated to. Afterwards, I didn't feel particularly good about what I communicated. I feared that our crowd, filled with families in recovery - or in need of it - might misunderstand the call to action and instead hear it as a shout out of condemnation.

The Matthew passage is powerful, but I think better understood if the messenger has the good sense to point out one of the distinctive characteristics of sheep - they listen to the voice of their master. This is crucial for sheep, because they have notoriously bad eyesight and are prone to follow whoever happens to be walking in front of them. Much like the poor fools who listened to the "Babylonian specialists" in Jeremiah 29, sheep will follow anyone. They're extremely gregarious animals, and love to hang out in large crowds. I suppose they are quite the party animals. But when properly trained, they can be kept safe and on the right path by a willingness to listen to the voice of their good shepherd.

This continues to be God's decree. He said it to the Jews in captivity, Jesus preached it to the crowds, and we must find ways to remind ourselves of the same message. Tirelessly and urgently, we must commit ourselves to listening to God's voice. The issue that got the Jewish people in trouble; the problem that gets the goats separated and sent into judgment; the point that God continues to make consistently over the ages is this - bad things happen to people when they refuse to listen to God.

So listen to this - if we rush out and feed the hungry, water the thirsty, visit the prisoners, clothe the poor - and we've done so without first listening to God's voice - we're in big trouble. Because the foundational principle is this: listen to God. And as we listen, he will lead. As he leads, we'll know who to feed and where to rush, who to provide water to, and which prisons to visit, who to clothe, and much, much more. But it starts with listening. I wish I had said it this way the other night.

Recommended reading: Leviticus 21 - 24

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 5 - Following God's lead

Scripture focus: This is God's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you"—God's Decree—"bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it." Jeremiah 29:10-14 (The Message)

Soon it will be the season when I leave my work several times a week in the late afternoon in search of a lacrosse field. It won't be just any field, it'll be the one where my boy will be warming up. I'll take my place in the bleachers (if we're lucky and the field has them). I'll arrive early - I love to watch the pre-game rituals. I'll unfold my very expensive but appropriately logoed stadium chair, whip out a good book and try to concentrate on the latest word on the topics I'm passionate about - God, people who are hurting, and stories about how these two things intersect. But I will struggle to concentrate. This will be the last season I ever take this particular position in the arena - mom-in-watching.

I have experienced some of my most profound worship experiences sitting in this place. Long before the other parental units arrive, alone and solitary in my seat as watchful guardian of a team of boys - several of whom I watched learn this game as fifth graders, the leaves blossoming in the trees that seem to stand watch around most fields and the sky awash with God light - I marvel at how it must feel to be God, a heavenly Father who watches us as intently as my eyes track the throwing motions and catching skills of a group of kids who think they're here to play a game. But I harbor other notions. I think they're on this field to practice becoming men.

How hard it is for me to let my child play without continually pointing out the significance of each moment! He thinks about scoring and line drills - as if these matter. I think about how the long practices and bruises build his muscles - and I'm not talking biceps. So when I chew over Jeremiah 29, I find comfort in the tenth through fourteenth verses. Because it seems to me that God, too, can't quite leave his children to their own devices. Even as they live with a seventy year exile experience (that was completely God's decision), God can't help but run to the sidelines of the playing field and holler out words of encouragement. This season I'm a senior mom, and I keep telling myself I'm going to behave this year and be an appropriate role model for the rookie moms. No yelling from the bleachers for me! But if, just maybe, an occasion arises where it seems absolutely essential to offer up a word of encouragement, I am chewing on the kinds of words God chose to yell to his children all those many years ago. He reminds his children of his own character and good intentions towards them. He doesn't demand that his children perform. He invites them to call out to him and he guarantees he'll show up.

Recommended reading: Leviticus 17 - 20

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 4 - Cooperating with God redefines competition in this world

Scripture focus: Yes. Believe it or not, this is the Message from God-of-the-Angel-Armies, Israel's God: "Don't let all those so-called preachers and know-it-alls who are all over the place there take you in with their lies. Don't pay any attention to the fantasies they keep coming up with to please you. They're a bunch of liars preaching lies—and claiming I sent them! I never sent them, believe me." God's Decree! Jeremiah 29:8-9 (The Message)

I admire people who know how to stick up for themselves and others. I love the movies where the underdog overcomes the bully. I pull for sports teams that everyone expects to lose. Noble sounding, isn't it? Maybe it's a message we assume would win the approval of God. Careful; it may be that we're confusing care and concern for the defenseless with something more sinister.

I'm always fascinated when two athletic teams take the field pre-game, huddle on the sidelines and offer up a prayer. I love the public display of faith. I wonder what they pray. Do they pray for victory, or good character? Do they ask for safety for themselves and their teammates; if so, do they offer up that same petition for their opponents? I suspect that in many cases they do. I imagine that wise chaplains guide them in an understanding of God's ways. But still - who hasn't walked onto the field of an athletic competition and not whispered quietly, "God, please let us win today?"

Anytime we find ourselves "pulling for" a team, a person, or a cause - doesn't it often mean we're "opposing" a perceived enemy? I may want the University of Virginia to win an ACC championship in every sport (I told you I love underdogs) but that desire means that I am unwittingly opposing the success of my son's alma mater - Virginia Tech. Can this be right? I don't really think so.

In Jeremiah's day, God sent a letter to his people in captivity and delivered a similar message. It wasn't popular. False prophets were telling the people what they wanted to hear - "Hate your enemy, oppose them, it's okay to compete with them - they captured you! You're the Jewish team, they're infidels. Separate yourself from them. Don't make friends, plot revenge." This message was an easy sell. But it wasn't God's message.

God continues to startle me with words that challenge my worldview. God urges the Jewish people to remember their heritage, and not forget who he is and who they are - but to use this knowledge to cooperate with the Babylonians, to bless them not curse them, to live in such a way that when God returns the Jewish people to their homeland in seventy years, the Babylonians will be better off because they had the Jews in their community for awhile. When my son takes the lacrosse field for his final season as a high school senior this year, I will no doubt pray, "Lord, please don't let anyone get hurt. Lord, help everyone to play well. And please, God, let the Rapids win this game." I'm a mom, that's how we pray. But I'm not sure that it's theologically sound. While the team is getting in shape this spring, I am going to continue to wrestle with Jeremiah 29 and how it might apply to lacrosse watching. Because more than winning, I desire transformation - for me, my boy, my family, my friends - and you.

Recommended reading: Leviticus 13-16

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community

Day 3 - Mysterious ways

Scripture focus: "Build houses and make yourselves at home. Put in gardens and eat what grows in that country. Marry and have children. Encourage your children to marry and have children so that you'll thrive in that country and not waste away. Make yourselves at home there and work for the country's welfare. Pray for Babylon's well-being. If things go well for Babylon, things will go well for you." Jeremiah 29:5-7 (The Message)

It strikes me as curious that God sends a letter to the Jews in captivity and actually instructs them to bless Babylon. He tells them to pray for Babylon's well-being. He encourages them to make themselves comfy in exile. He wants them to thrive and not waste away. He instructs them to encourage their children to marry and have kids of their own.

This is completely preposterous if we think about it. Who does this? Who blesses their captor? Who works for the welfare of the country that carted them off from their homeland? Maybe it's just me, but my experience is that in the world we live in, there are far more people who go through life sticking it to the man than there are people who work for the welfare of others - especially when those "others" are clearly labeled "enemy." I guess that's why Eugene Peterson practically begs us to gnaw on the word of God, chew on it, meditate on it, growl over it, wrestle with it, and allow it to change us from the inside out. God's ways are mysterious. He offers up one big surprising revelation after another!

Can we even believe this? He is asking us to love like he loves, care about what he cares about, bless those who curse us, pray for those who mistreat us. As natural as sticking it to the man is to mortals, it is unnatural to God. We like that about him when we're the ones to whom he extends good intentions. But what about when it's reversed, and we're asked to imitate Christ, and extend those same good intentions to not only those we love, but those we hate? One writer in scripture says that God's ways and our ways are radically different. He wasn't kidding. If we're going to be transformed, we will make the decision to surrender to the mysterious ways of God and spend the rest of our life trying to grasp the incomparable great love that he has bestowed upon us.

Recommended reading: Leviticus 9 - 12

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Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community