Day 16 - Giving false testimony
Scripture focus: Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up! Galatians 3:2-4 (The Message)
One of the problems that I have had in my life is chaffing under the tutelage of a perfect "testimony." This internal resistance has sometimes made me feel practically unchristian. It's the kind of testimony where someone stands up, talks about how before they knew Christ their life was a mess. Then, in predictable fashion they tell of their conversion to faith and from that moment on, life becomes peachy, practically perfect.
My internal baloney meter has a hard time listening to these kinds of salvation stories. Maybe, I think to myself, I'm just jealous. Why didn't I get those same results? What's wrong with...me? Filled with barely suppressed resentment, these stories of redemption ultimately trigger a sense of shame and usually result in a renewed attempt on my part to get spiritually fit.
I could write a book entitled, Confessions of a Spiritual Anorexic, but who would buy it?
Then I discovered the third chapter of Galatians.
I continue to chew on verses two through four. It feels like there's more embedded in these verses than I can understand. Raised on linear testimonies of once lost, then found, now fine - somehow, these verses sound more authentic to me.
I know that it is naughty to judge the testimony of another. I'm confessing how close this conversation bumps up against that line - and I don't want to step over into the dark land of judgment. But I'm also asking something more. Is there something to this strong emotional response that is larger than envy? Could it be, is it even possible, that, at least for me and maybe others like me, there are more circuitous stories of soul repair than those simple, straightforward tales of bad to great in one moment of miraculous healing?
More on a messier story of redemption in the days ahead.
Recommended reading: Acts 1-3
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1 comment:
I can identify with this so much. Yes, God has done a miraculous work in my life, but I used to think I was supposed to have it all together in an instant. I stopped focusing on what he was doing in my life, missing out on my blessings, because I thought I was supposed to now become this "perfect" being. I always knew he was supposed to do it because I couldnt but, somewhere I lost that child like faith, and thought now its my job. I see how messy my life is because of this thinking, and am now praying with a different attitude and honesty. God I am a mess, but here I am, if you don't do it through me, then maybe it is not supposed to be, you have a better plan:)
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