NorthStar Community Daily Devotional

April 28

Scripture focus: I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. Ecclesiastes 3:10-14 NIV

Grief is a funny thing. I have found it to be a strangely personal and comforting experience. All those books on the subject don’t really do it justice. In the materials that hospice provides, there are several very helpful guidelines and suggestions about how to support the person who is dying. We read and tried to pay attention and maybe followed them if we could.

Marion found the experience of dying funny too. Multiple times a day she would give me words of instruction, always ending with, “This is so strange; I feel like I’m planning someone else’s funeral.” She said this at least one hundred times in six days. I don’t know what the experts would say about that, but here’s what I believe.

She had some concerns for her family but she was not overly concerned. I was given a short set of instructions which I will follow. They include things like make sure the grandchildren know how important their education is and how proud she is of their accomplishments. She has some regrets – not being at Cara’s wedding this June is at the top of her list. On the other hand, she is delighted to think about all of us gathering to celebrate. She’s had a sneak peek at the dress, and she knows we’re in for a treat. She had a few stern warnings – don’t talk about her death in euphemisms. Don’t put her picture in the paper. Don’t forget that it is easier to cut a turkey with an electric knife. Don’t over-knead the oatmeal bread.
Somehow she managed to communicate a trust in us – that we would carry on and would do so in a way that would delight her. She believed in our ability to take the ball and run with it.

She was ready to go home. She had no doubts about her destiny; no qualms about standing before the throne of grace. She did so hope she looked good when she crossed the line into eternity – after all, she had a husband waiting on the other side.

The last week of her life was perfect and beautiful, which was the fruit of a life well lived. It is very difficult to feel sorrow for such a testimony to a faith-filled life. Grief and loss come in all sorts of experiences, but I am deeply grateful for Marion’s perspective; she taught me that in some situations dying is more like a party than a parting. She has inspired me to take a harder look at how I’m living my life, because she taught me that death in many ways is a summary statement for how we’ve lived.

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