NorthStar Community Daily Devotional

April 29

Scripture focus: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiates 4:9-12 NIV

One of the things that I loved about my mother-in-law was her ability to admit wrongdoing. I don’t think this was particularly easy for her – so no need to whip out the application for sainthood. In fact, it was the degree of difficulty in the admission that made her willingness to admit so admirable. Like the rest of us, sometimes admitting stuff was hard.

On Tuesday afternoon, Pete was perched on the window ledge in her room, a weak sunlight filtered in behind him. It made a lovely silhouette, but caused his face to seem fuzzy. Marion had trouble hearing him because she couldn’t read his lips. For those unfamiliar with hearing loss, most of us who experience it develop an ability to supplement our hearing with a rudimentary ability to read lips. This helps. She complained to him about his mumbling ways, and he tried to speak up and enunciate better. But if she had pushed the point, he could have reminded her that her hearing wasn’t at full strength.

On Wednesday evening, the tumor continued its relentless march into her trachea, making it hard for her to have enough breath to speak. In the wee hours of the morning, I struggled to hear and follow her instructions. “Do you need more pillows?” No, she nodded. “More water?” No, no she seemed to say. “Should I get you up and in the chair?” Absolutely Not!! Her nonverbal shouted in response. Eventually she managed, “My you are getting hard of hearing!” I found this extremely ironic and amusing. But I must admit, if the circumstances had been different – I might have felt annoyed.

She and I discovered the beauty and blessing of releasing all need to judge as the days rolled toward their inevitable conclusion. As usual, she led me in this discovery. Often filled with self-deprecation and doubt with a terminal need to feel embarrassed or a little ashamed when she did something human, like fall or need a heart valve replaced, the final weeks wiped out all that need to critique self, melting it away under the warm sunshine of self-acceptance.

Toward the end, nothing much mattered except that her family loved her and each other. There was no longer a need to improve, repair, rehab, fix, or make right a wrong. There is an indescribable beauty that blossoms when we learn how to see ourselves accurately, with complete honesty and total acceptance.

In the recovery process, step four asks us to make a searching and fearless moral inventory, but it can’t teach us how to do so without judging ourselves. The gift of acceptance must come from above. Although unspoken, for me personally, Marion’s greatest legacy will be this powerful combination of honest self-appraisal and loving acceptance. It was truly a God thing.

Click on the word comments below and join our conversation!

© Copyright 2010 NorthStar Community

---