March 30, 2007

Step 3: . We made a decision to turn our life and will over to the care of God.

Scripture reading for today: Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23 NIV

“I shall not be in want.” Can you articulate what you want and need, or are you like me? Every Sunday after church my family sits down to a good old-fashioned family dinner – at the restaurant of our choice! Getting to the restaurant is the hardest part of our day. It goes like this –

“Where do you want to eat?”
“I don’t know, where do you want to eat?”
“I don’t know…”

Then, someone (never me) suggests a restaurant. This is followed by all the protests from the family members who don’t want to eat there; these are the same family members who didn’t know or care about our restaurant choice just moments ago. I never enter that discussion. I really don’t know where I want to eat. I just go where the crowd takes me.

When we don’t know what we need or want - when we are living as if we are “needless” and “want-less” – something is not right. Pia Mellody has written a wonderful book (which I highly recommend) called Facing Codependency. In this book she offers insights that are both profound and true about how find ourselves in a state of want-lessness.

Even newborns have a way of expressing a need – they cry. No one is confused when a healthy baby is in a state of want. We may not know the exact need, but we will go to any lengths to discover it and rectify the situation. That’s healthy. But what if that scenario is not normal? What if the baby is left to cry for hours on end? What if wet diapers aren’t changed regularly? What if hunger isn’t addressed consistently? What if this state continues? What if a young child is told to Shut up!” or “Don’t feel that way” or “You’re wrong to think that Daddy doesn’t love you. Daddy loves you, but sometimes he can’t help himself. That’s why he hits you so hard.” What if our every thought, feeling, need, and want is ignored? Will we learn to trust our instincts? Will we learn how to name our true emotions, our deepest desires, our basic needs? And if we can name them, have we experienced a life that leads us to reasonably expect that they will be met?

Thought for today: Not caring where you eat is no big deal if your family can be trusted to choose wisely. But not being able to recognize your wants and needs – that’s a big deal. Today, make a conscious choice to think about what you want and what you need. Pay attention to the hand of God moving in mysterious ways to provide for you.

Thought for tomorrow: Sometimes big pronouncements aren’t the best kinds of decisions. Big pronouncements may be too hard to swallow. Instead of deciding today to trust God with every single detail of your life – why not start smaller and see what happens? Ask God, “Lord, show me the way you’d have me go - today.” Perhaps tomorrow would be a good day to practice. Take just one day, and ask God: “How would you have me live today? If I truly trusted you with today, what would be my next right step?” Then take it. Then ask the question again, and take that step. If tomorrow seems like too big a decision, why not give him, say, tomorrow morning – til noon? Then re-evaluate. You could take it in one hour chunks. Blog me and let me know how it’s going. Did you decide on an hour, or a day? I’d love to hear from you….

March 30
Teresa McBean