May 2

Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

May 2

Recommended Reading: Job 30-31

The fifth step is all about admitting stuff. Big and small, good and bad – anything that ended up in our fourth step inventory is about to be revealed to others. Most unhealthy families don’t teach us how to admit much of anything. In fact, most sick families share a common trait – don’t tell. This serves no one well. It keeps sick people from getting much needed help. It makes innocent people bear the brunt of others’ dysfunctions. It limits options and avoids solutions.

In lots of families it is unsafe to reveal a shortcoming, vulnerability or weakness. This is a shame, because God’s desire for families is that lots of healthy problem solving within the home. Unhealthy families tend to be chaotic, capricious and inconsistent. They can be rigid and rule-driven or – the opposite extreme – absent of guidance entirely. Love is conditional and life is unpredictable. Discipline is sporadic and sometimes cruel.

Even in healthy families, children can learn that being yourself is not a good idea. When I was a kid I loved to read. I was fascinated by the wonderful world of books! I am quite sure I was obnoxious, persistent, difficult and boring in my nightly recounting of every little detail contained in my current reading pleasure. I believed I was sharing precious gems. My family did not share this view.

And I get that as an adult. I listened, heck, I even read along with one of my children through the complete series of Harry Potter. My oldest son is currently enamored with an old book series – Fletch – and although not my cup of tea, I certainly know a lot about every plot twist and detail. So I get what it’s like to listen to another person wax eloquent about a book that is of marginal interest to me.

But as a child, I got teased about my voracious reading habits. No one intended a bit of harm – they just wanted a moment’s peace. As a child, I concluded that something was wrong with being me, and soon I stopped sharing.

I don’t think many of us will be sent to juvie for excessive reading. But if we learn to stop sharing the innocuous part of ourselves – do you think it will be easy to share the dark secrets of the soul?

Thought for today: Admitting the exact nature of our wrongs is a hard thing to do. But in the right environment, having come to know the awesome, loving God of scripture and with the right supporting God-representative with skin on – it can be a comforting time of healing.

Thought for tomorrow: He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28:13 NIV

May 2
Teresa McBean