Day 40 - Denial
Scripture focus: If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it. Now therefore say to the people of Judah and those living in Jerusalem, 'This is what the Lord says: Look! I am preparing a disaster for you and devising a plan against you. So turn from your evil ways, each one of you, and reform your ways and your actions.' But they will reply, 'It's no use. We will continue with our own plans; each of us will follow the stubbornness of his evil heart.' " Jeremiah 18:7-12 NIV
We need to get honest about our lives. I believe we sometimes complicate our suffering by trying to placate our pain with spiritual platitudes. When we quote scripture and say that all things work together for the good - we're speaking truth. But is that going deep enough? Or is that a shallow response to deep suffering? Years ago a grieving widow friend of mine was told that her grieving process was an indicator of her lack of faith. I disagree. Her grief was an expression of pure, unadulterated pain before a God in whom she trusted to understand her suffering, hear her cries, respond, and at the appropriate time - rescue.
Sometimes I think we speak platitudes to each other in a misguided attempt to protect God's reputation! God's reputation doesn't need protecting! As we read through the book of Psalms, we hear the honesty of God's people. In Psalm 77 (and a bunch of others) the author asks - "Will the Lord reject forever?" Is this blasphemy? Or is this a secure loving relationship between a man and his God - an intimate conversation where a man can speak honestly with his God without fear of reprisal? Even Jesus cries out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Did God forsake Jesus? Or was Jesus crying out in his suffering, naming his honest feeling of loneliness in the midst of unspeakable pain?
I have a few relationships in my life where I feel completely safe. I can say things that I don't mean and that I know are not theologically sound. I can speak openly about the silence of God in an area of my life without fear of getting an email in a few days that chastises me for my apparent unbelief. These are the relationships that are on solid ground. These relationships are secure. We'll continue to have God conversations; eventually I'll move past acknowledging my pain and onto the solution - or at least the next right step. But sometimes we must pause and name the suffering before we can face our responsibility to move in response to the soft whisper of the Holy Spirit. Anything short of this naming process may be denial.
I want to remind us to be careful about using spiritual language as a form of denial. If we have a problem, let's name it. Sticking our heads in the sand of spiritually sounding right answers leaves us with a pretty big exposed target - don't you think?
God is big. He can handle the truth. It's not spiritual disloyalty to name a problem. It is, according to Kim Engelmann, the first step to getting off the hamster wheel. Admitting the pain we're in is not saying that God is unfaithful.
Recommended reading: Exodus 29 and 30 in the morning; Matthew 26 in the evening
4 comments:
It's become easier for me to name my problems when I remember that God loves me unconditionally and nothing's going to change that and that the removal of my defects of character is about the impact that my life is going to make on others and not about me looking good. I forget that sometimes. Remembering makes a big difference.
I have a question about something that came up in tonight message as well. What's the difference between holding a boundary and having an expectation?
Holding a boundary is doing the next right thing - because it is appropriate for one to do so. Setting a boundary with an expectation that in doing so, another person will change, is manipulation. Make sense? t
oh ok. I get it. I guess I haven't quite gotten the hold the boundary thing down yet then. Practice makes progress. :-)I'll keep at it. Thanks bunches.
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