Day 57
Scripture focus: Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don't be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8 NLT
"Finally, I know what's wrong with me!"
"Ok. What's that?"
"I'm bi-polar!! Isn't that great?" He says it with such enthusiasm that the listener would swear he just won the biggest lottery of all time!
"You've got to help me here. Why is this great news?"
"Because now I know what's wrong with me!!" I realize that no new information was provided in answer to my question, but somehow, I think I understand why a psychiatric diagnosis feels like a win. It offers some explanation for years of suffering - without it being about character, confidence, or commitment to change. I empathize with him. After years of being told he's "bad," an "underachiever, " a tool of Satan - and worse - this diagnosis gives him a way to have conversations with others about his personal life experience in ways that don't blame and shame.
The question remains - does this help solve the cyclical suffering? It might. But two key ingredients will need to be added to the diagnosis: community, and acceptance of a new life without circumstantial escape.
I have a bi-polar girlfriend who does what is natural - when she starts feeling well and healthy, she goes off her meds. Within a few weeks, her non-medicated mind begins to tell her that the neighbors are spying on her. Her only solution is to begin wallpapering her home with massive amounts of Reynolds Wrap. Inevitably, she'll call me and report on her efforts to keep the micro-waves at bay. I'll call her husband at work and say those magic words, "She's off her meds." Then, he will get a clue and notice the shiny walls in this abode and take appropriate measures. This is an example of community at work. It requires massive doses of cooperation among the parties within the community. My girlfriend made a deal that she'd always call me and report when the aliens return; in a moment of clarity, she gave me permission to call her hubby; in an act of unspeakable love and compassion - he agreed to do the next right thing without freaking out and asking why this happens every few years. This is community at work - and it has enabled my girlfriend to live a reasonably normal life without a lot of humiliation in the process.
My newly diagnosed buddy will need a plan like this. Because although a label often helps explain suffering and point the way to some solutions - it isn't a magical cure. Work will still be required. The fight will be huge; sometimes the suffering will be hard to bear. It's going to take a big-hearted team to tackle the ups and downs that bi-polar disorder may bring to my friend.
How about you? Do you have a community that is committed to understanding and education, patience and loving accountability? Are you fit to live in such a community? Are you willing to be made willing to practice principles of loving living that make you not only bearable to live with - but a delight to be around?
Recommended reading: Leviticus 19 and 20 in the morning; Psalm 41 in the evening
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