Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 213 – Month of July at a Glance

Scripture focus: I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18 NLT

This month we looked at discouragement, depression, anhedonia, regret, temptation, shortcuts, and the neurology of emotion. But we didn’t talk about this in order to become brainiacs. Instead, we’re seeking after the good life that Jesus says (with conviction) that we are to experience as his followers. “I came that they might have, keep, and constantly retain – vitality, gusto, vigor and zest for living”….

We turned our attention to the enemy – who definitely doesn’t want us to experience the abundant life and we dissected some of the pitfalls and roadblocks to this vital, vigorous life. To gather our courage before this exploration, we reminded ourselves of God’s part –

Point one: The life God dreamed for us is far better than we could have chosen for ourselves. It’s better than the best toy we could afford to buy with all our material wealth, better than the perfect husband and kids, better than the most fabulous job in the world…better better better than any big dream you and I could dream up for ourselves.

Point two: This unrivaled, unequaled, matchless, incomparably rich and overflowing life is up to God. When we acknowledge our powerlessness AND notice our unmanageable lives AND when we come to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves and he can restore us to sanity AND when we make the decision to turn our life over to him – he picks the dream. It’s a good dream – no, it’s a great dream. But God picks. We don’t pick. God picks.

Armed with a reminder of God’s promises to us, we looked at three common false beliefs that get us off track, and open us up to attack from the enemy who came to kill, steal, and destroy. These false beliefs are: 1. I must do well. 2. The world must treat me well. And 3. Life should be easy.

We continued our exploration of pitfalls and roadblocks by discussing ways to improve our ability to step as God speaks. Proper nutrition, adequate play time, taking thoughts captive, and commitment to feeling the full range of emotions skimmed the surface of a call to become our true, God-created identity.

We were reminded of the need for feeling our feelings without bullying others with them. We talked about how to express ourselves without violating God’s principles of love. We considered what it means to receive a “fit reply” and we were given some tips to improve both our share and our listen.

But lest we forget, we’re not running this race to become consummate communicators – we’re simply allowing God, our gardener, to landscape us with his word. If the Lord isn’t in the midst of this process, it won’t much matter how well we eat, adequately we play, sharply we think, or big we feel. And so we concluded the month with a reminder to think clearly, pray regularly, and express gratitude continually. We can’t do this if we aren’t able to speak wisely, take responsibility eagerly, forgive regularly, and love lavishly. Whew! We’ve been busy!

Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 26, 27 and 28 in the morning; 2 Chronicles 29 and Romans 14 in the evening

Copyright 2008 NorthStar Community

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 212 – Inventory the Garden

Scripture focus: He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds. Titus 2:14 NLT

My neighbor, the gardening expert, often steps out in the cool of the evening and surveys her handiwork. In the winter, she inventories her garden. She plans what to keep, and what to prune. She researches new plants. In essence, my friend is always inventorying her garden. And we need to do the same. Let’s get started!

§ It matters to God how we speak. (For further conviction on this topic – read James 3.) How we speak even affects our brain! “The words you speak feed back into the magic trees of the mind, reinforcing the memory they came from. When you make negative statements, you release negative chemicals. These lead to negative memories that grow stronger and become negative strongholds that control your attitude and life.” Who Switched Off My Brain? p. 115

§ It matters to God that we take personal responsibility. (See Matthew 5-7.) Again, our ability to take personal responsibility for what we think, feel, worry about, etc. strengthens our brain. We can’t be sloppy thinkers or half-hearted “rememberers” – we need to stay fully engaged and present in our own lives! “Your individuality implies and carries with it the taking of responsibility for your actions: you must consciously force the meta-cognitive and cognitive levels to interact. You can do this by consciously thinking about what is in your mind which allows you literally to access the body-mind network where the memories are stored and redirect it.” Who Switched Off My Brain? pp. 119-120

§ It matters to God that we learn how to forgive others – and self. Ongoing results of the “Forgiveness Study” by researchers at the University of Wisconsin found that those who develop an ability to forgive, have greater control over their emotions and are significantly less angry, upset and hurt, and consequently much healthier. Who Switched Off My Brain? p. 123

§ It matters to God how we love Him, others and even self! Of course we know this is true! But I’m challenging us to think about how we’re carrying out the command! It’s not okay to come to church and nod an assent, and then treat the guy serving you your lunch rudely. “When you experience God’s love and the love of people, your heart speeds up its communication with the mind and body through the blood flow.” Who Switched Off My Brain? p. 126

How’s your garden growing?

Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 23 and 24 in the morning; 2 Chronicles 25 and Romans 13 in the evening

Copyright 2008 NorthStar Community

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 211 – Week 31 – Human Gardens

Scripture focus: In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life. James 1:21 The Message

We’ve thought about the fruit of the spirit, but have you considered what a salvation-garden of life might look like? What kind of garden would it be – flowers or veggies? I have a neighbor who is the consummate gardening guru. Her yard is a riotous testimony to what one can accomplish with a very green thumb, a lot of hard work and a passion for the task at hand. Her gardens include both vegetables and flowers. Whether fruit, vegetable or flower – it is clear who does the heavy lifting when it comes to gardening – the gardener! This is awesome news for us. Think about this – we are the garden, and James is encouraging us to let the gardener, God, have his way with us! How awesome is that? He pulls the weeds, waters the lawn, plants the seeds, and prunes the bushes. We, his garden, in simple humility, allow God to do his thing.

What would a human garden look like? God’s Word reveals the answer. Here are a few things we might find growing in our garden, if we submitted to the Father’s touch…

God desires for us to settle down, living un-fretful lives. Evidently, God’s gardens aren’t filled with worry warts. Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. (Philippians 4:6-7 The Message)

God thinks a mind is a terrible thing to waste. He has instructions for how we should be using it. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. (Philippians 4:8 The Message)

God has plenty to say about the fruit that is produced in a well-tended garden too. But for today’s devotional, let’s remember that how we think and what we think about matters. It affects productivity. Of course, God knows how we’re made and has this all figured out. But even humans are catching on to this principle! Let me leave you with a little scientific research that supports our theology. “When you set your mind to consciously take control of your thought life, you will find that it doesn’t take long for the benefits to set in. Research shows that an enriched environment of thinking positive, healthy thoughts can lead to significant structural changes in the brain’s cortex in only four days. Detoxing the brain by controlling your thought life won’t only make you feel better and fitter in body and mind; it will also make you smarter. Cutting-edge brain research over the past few decades, shows that intelligence is not static, but can be enhanced (or reduced) by your neurochemistry. You control your neurochemistry by your thought life; therefore you can make yourself healthier and smarter.” Who Switched Off My Brain? p. 114-115.

Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 21 and 22 in the morning; Romans 11 and 12 in the evening

Copyright 2008 Northstar Community

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 210 – Week 30 at a glance

Scripture focus: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life. James 1:19-21 The Message

This week we talked about all sorts of ways to improve our ability to step as God speaks. Proper nutrition, adequate play time, taking thoughts captive, and commitment to feeling the full range of emotions skimmed the surface of a call to become our true, God-created identity.

We also discussed the need for feeling our feelings without bullying others with them. We talked about how to express ourselves without violating God’s principles of love. We considered what it means to receive a “fit reply” and we were given some tips to improve both our share and our listen.

But lest we forget, we’re not running this race to become consummate communicators – we’re simply allowing God, our gardener, to landscape us with his word. If the Lord isn’t in the midst of this process, it won’t much matter how well we eat, adequately we play, sharply we think, or big we feel.

This completes the two hundred tenth day of our three hundred sixty five day journey. May your journey draw you nearer to God and closer to your true God-created identity.


Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 19 and 20 in the morning; Romans 10 and Psalm 21 in the evening

Copyright 2008 by NorthStar Community

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 209 – Expectations

Scripture focus: See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

God reminds us that he’s in the business of doing a new thing.

I wonder. Do you see new things happening in your life? Or does it feel like you’re doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results (insanity)?

God is making a way in the desert.

God is providing streams in the wasteland.

In order to see this new thing, we need to see things in a new way.

So I ask you – do you have on a good pair of God-vision goggles?

Are you prepared to set aside your assumptions and presumptions, and begin to look at life through the eyes of the one who made life possible?


Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 17 and 18 in the morning; Psalm 20 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 208 – A Fit Reply

Scripture focus: Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success. Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time. Proverbs 15:22, 23

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply. Hmmmm. Do you think that’s true? I’m not so sure! How do we define “fitting”? Honestly, sometimes the only reply that I think is “fitting” is when someone tells me what I want to hear. But in my rapidly advancing age, I realize that this definition of “fitting” isn’t suitable for growing a big heart. If we want to become our true, God-created identity, we need to surround ourselves with a community that will give us a fitting reply.

· A fitting reply is…the right advice for the occasion. Love her or leave her? Punish or pamper? Speak or remain silent? The Bible could have been the size of a pamphlet if all we need is five easy steps to making good choices. Good advice in one situation is terrible counsel in another.

· A fitting reply is…one that is invited. It won’t matter how great the advice if the listener isn’t open to feedback. Whether we’re seeking advice or in the position of potentially offering it – we must be wise in the interaction. If what we really want is to blow off steam, make sure the listener knows you are (for the moment) advice adverse. Listener, don’t assume that someone who says, “Can I ask your advice?” means it. Clarify. Sometimes that opening question is just an entrée into a monologue.

· A fitting reply is…usually the result of excellent listening. Over the years, I’ve learned that those quick to offer up advice and opinions might not be the best counselors. Another problem –if we’re cranky, under fed or stressed, then perhaps we aren’t fit for listening. If someone seeks out our counsel – please do them the favor of sharing your own vulnerable state. There are other options. You can always meet another day when both parties are more fit for sharing.

· A fitting reply is…not always verbal. Sometimes the most effective response is active listening. We can empathize without informing. Especially for extroverts, who need to talk out loud and hear themselves process - listening to an extrovert gives them what they need to come to their own insights. Again, not all questions have answers. Sometimes we wait upon the Lord for a reply (the most fit response of all!) and our sharing is more about feeling supported and cared for than given an apt reply.

· A fitting reply is…one that never violates our over-arching principle of loving God and others. I hate to mention this – but sometimes we speak and listen inappropriately. We share to gossip, devalue or ridicule. Our listening to such unkindness makes us co-conspirators. One of our sons said something recently that I thought was really great. After listening to another “just share their feelings” – our son’s take away was, “You know, being a critical person is really unattractive.” Perhaps the most fitting reply to some conversations is simply, “I think we’ve crossed the line and left the reservation. What we’re doing here isn’t loving. We need to stop talking.”

How fitting are your replies?

Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 13 and 14 in the morning; 2 Chronicles 15 and 16 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 207 – Telling it like it is…or talking out of turn?

Scripture focus: By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue – it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. My friends, this can’t go on. James 3:6-10, (selections from those verses) The Message

“I’m just telling you how I feel.” I say to my husband while trying to win him over to my viewpoint. I felt so…righteous as I said those seven little words. Hey, isn’t it healthy to have and express a wide range of emotions? Well…sort of. But there are exceptions. Just because I have a feeling, it doesn’t mean I have the right to express it. People do not owe us a listen. The only person responsible for my emotional luggage is…me. A wide range of emotional responses is healthy. The next step will require us to learn how to respond to our emotions – while continuing to love God and others as we love ourselves.

Here’s what I’m learning – it is always a great idea to pause to prepare before I share my feelings. I ask myself “Why are you sharing?” If I’m opening myself up to be known, sharing for the sake of intimacy and full disclosure AND I am sharing this information with a person who I have an appropriate level of intimacy with – that’s fine. But it is completely inappropriate to share my feelings with a virtual stranger, or acquaintance. Boundary violations occur if I over-share at work or lounging by the pool with casual friends. It’s not okay to share my feelings, even with those I love, if in the sharing, I’m focused more on me than the relationship I might be about to ruin by my emotional rant. I have a policy that I try to remember before I express my feelings. First, I ask for permission to share. Second, I tell my dear friend what I need from them.

Sometimes I say, “Hey, I am freaking out. I would like to share this with you – are you in a space where you can listen to my big feelings? I know that what I’m sharing isn’t even consistent with what I believe – but I just need to let it out. Is this okay with you?” You can see that this is the kind of sharing that requires a very deep connection between speaker and listener. This isn’t stating a preference for pizza or burgers! Notice that this kind of sharing is me owning my feelings – it is not about me using my feelings to manipulate someone to give me my way.

I also ask, “How will I share?” By sharing strong feelings with another, sometimes we unwittingly (or intentionally) end the opportunity for dialogue. If we’ve expressed ourselves with an angry tone, or sarcasm, or inappropriate humor – we shut others down. If we glare as we share, if our tone is harsh, if we communicate that we care more about how we feel than the person we’re sharing with – others will rightfully conclude that we are unsafe people. If we communicate a lack of interest in asking and listening to another’s feelings, we quickly communicate that the conversation is more about spew than share.

With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Whether we intend it or not – sometimes when we share how we feel, we are actually cursing the very men and women God made in his image. When I told Pete how I felt – I never intentionally meant it as cursing. But big hearted people need to set aside good intentions, and learn how to love well. I messed up. Have you ever expressed your feelings and hurt another?

Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 11 and 12 in the morning; Romans 10 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 206 – Stinking thinking? What’s the alternative?

Scripture focus: My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul. Proverbs 3:21

“Thoughts do cause illness and should thus be studied and controlled. If they are powerful enough to make us sick, they are powerful enough to make us healthy as well. That’s why a change in your thinking is essential to detox the brain.

Consciously controlling your thought life means not letting thoughts rampage through your mind, but learning to engage interactively with each one. Your job is to analyze a thought before you decide either to accept or reject it. Keep in mind some key principles to kick-start the process of controlling your toxic thoughts:

· Thoughts create your mood.

· When you experience a fear-based emotion, you will feel depressed and your thoughts will be characterized by negativity.

· A negative thought linked to emotional turmoil will be distorted.

· Learn how thoughts form.

· Use this knowledge to increase conscious awareness of your thoughts and feelings.

· Make a conscious decision to accept or reject a thought.

· Deal with emotional strongholds and build strong memory.” Who Switched Off My Brain?

I do not want you to hear this as another message on the power of positive thinking. That’s not the point of this devotional. I want to challenge you to think truthfully. And be alert to the reality that lots of our thoughts are trashy, and unworthy of the kid of THE King!

How about an example? In the heat of an emotionally charged moment, I tried to convince my husband of the rightness of my perspective. I spoke with great conviction and didn’t feel the need to take time to listen, ask questions, or gather information that might have informed my opinion. He was interested in a dialogue; I was interested in expressing my opinion. So he shut up and let me express. He wasn’t concerned so much about the rightness or the wrongness of the issue, he simply wanted to hear and be heard. Pete was looking for relationship, I wanted my way. This could have become a hurtful exchange – fortunately, Pete got a grip and grabbed hold of his common sense. He paused to prepare. Eventually, I followed suit.

In hindsight, I realize that my husband fulfilled his responsibility in this relationship and I fell short. We’re called to step as God speaks – and that means love as God loves. There’s no escape clause for bailing on that command even if, and perhaps especially when – you are completely convinced of your own rightness. I failed to love Pete when I became more concerned with telling him how I felt than learning what he was thinking and feeling.

Both of us, seasoned in the messiness of marriage, consciously chose to control our thought life as we unpacked this messy marital moment. He didn’t jump to conclusions and over dramatize my lousy loving. I used the opportunity to make amends, restitution and express gratitude and joy for a man who took a bad situation AND chose not to make it worse. I lost sight of common sense and discernment – but by paying attention to my toxic thoughts – I was able to readjust my attitude and make a quick course correction. What we think matters. How is your thought life?

Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 9 and 10 in the morning; Psalm 19 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 205 – Fun

Scripture focus: To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what they think they understand will be taken away from them. Luke 8:18 NLT

I have a suggestion for how to improve your receptivity to the voice of God. This will improve your ability to step as God speaks. Put on your sneakers, go out and play. You heard me. Put down the daily devotional and go play. But before you run out and bust out a rousing game of badminton – learn why this advice is sound.

“When we play, we are stretching our emotional expressive ranges. Play brings laughter, referred to as “internal jogging” (by Normal Cousins) because it literally lets peptides flow. It releases an instant flood of feel-good chemicals that boost the immune system. Almost instantaneously, it reduces levels of stress hormones. For example, a really good belly laugh can make cortisol drop by 39%, adrenaline by 70% and endorphin increase by 29%. It can even make growth hormones skyrocket by 87%! Other research shows how laughter boosts your immune system by increasing levels of gamma interferon which protects against respiratory infections. Having fun through play is the cheapest, easiest and most effective way to control toxic thoughts and emotions and their toxic stress reaction. You need to find appropriate forms of exercise that increase your heart rate. Increased blood flow nourishes and cleanses the brain and organs. If you break into a sweat, you will also get the added benefit of mood improvement prompted by the release of endorphins.” Who Switched Off My Brain? pp. 128-130

I love the phrase – “keep it simple” – and the spiritual disciplines have a rhythm of grace that is both simple and profound. Eating properly and play time are spiritual disciplines. Both acknowledge the precious priority we give to the temple that houses our spirit – the human body.

It’s summer – a perfect time to not only feast on fresh veggies but also set aside time to splash in the pool, play some tennis, hit a golf ball, ride go karts, roller blade, walk in the woods, ride a bike, take a motorcycle ride in the mountains, walk on the beach, fish, picnic, go to the petting zoo, water ski, jog beside the James River…and more! If your spiritual life feels stale, take it outside and give it some fresh air!

Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 7 and 8 in the morning; Romans 9 and Proverbs 20 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 204 – Week 30 – Spiritual food

Scripture focus: The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us…Deuteronomy 29:29

God is mysterious. And so are we. It’s tempting to focus on the unknown, strange, and barely believable. We search for meaning and seek answers to our existential questions. But what if…we could end up in a healthier and happier spot by changing our endless quest for the mysterious, and spend at least as much energy on the basics?

Let’s talk food. It matters what we eat. I’m not referring to calories and carbs, weight and body fat measurements. Eating and spirituality are intimately related. What we eat, when we eat it, and why we choose it -actually affects our emotional temperature. Proper nutrition is like fuel for the brain – and we all know how important a fully functioning brain is for wellness!

“Eating…is a highly emotional and metacognitive event. Your large and small intestines are densely lined with neuropeptides and receptors, all busily exchanging information laden with emotional content. The pancreas releases at least twenty different emotionally-laden peptides that regulate the assimilation and storage of nutrients, all carrying information about being full or hungry. Do not ignore the information these peptides provide…You need to eat well to feed your brain properly. Who Switched Off My Brain?

If life seems blah, if your brain feels as fuzzy as unbrushed teeth – it’s possible that your brain is nutritionally anemic. Since our culture is absolutely obsessed with body image, it is easy to find books on nutrition. Nutritionists can teach us how to eat reasonably well – this isn’t secret information. No matter what else is going on with you, you can choose to start feeding your body yummy nutrients. Your emotional and energy doldrums may have less to do with mysterious spiritual maladies and unresolved issues than you think. You may need to simply put the Twinkies down and rustle up some grilled veggies, salmon and brown rice!



Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 5 and 6 in the morning; Romans 8 and Psalm 18 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 203 – Week 29 at a glance

Scripture focus: Remain in my love…I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. John 15:10-11

This week we discussed peace, panic, resting, joy and gratitude. I’m hoping that we remember that unhealthy folks only have a limited range of emotions – and even those few feelings are usually charged with negativity. Do you sit around during moments of resting and joy, waiting for the next shoe to drop? Do you distrust peace? Are you more comfortable with chaos than calm?

It’s crucial for big hearted people to seriously embrace all the many and varied feelings God planted within us. Think of it like this: in unhealthy families, they only get the basic crayon box – 8 crayons is all they have to color their emotions with. The eight pack box is for babies.

As we mature, we get to graduate to the 16 or 24 box. And if we’re really, really fortunate, we get the 64 set – with a sharpener on the back of the box! Remaining in the love of the Father expands our capacity to feel. It’s the equivalent of a 64 boxed set of Crayola crayons!

One summer when I was visiting my grandmother, she bought me a 64 boxed set of crayons – and several super cool coloring books. It was a great gift. I immediately ran next door to my best friend’s house – and we began coloring outside on her picnic table. I can still smell the honeysuckle that draped a nearby fence and feel the morning sun on my face. It was hot as heck, but with 64 colors to choose from – no one minded a little sweat. I colored with fuchsia and magenta, outlining the forms with a very fine-edged black – thanks to the cool sharpener. I learned that burnt umber was a legitimate shade (if it’s in the Crayola box – it’s legit) and midnight blue was stunning.

I only used that box one time. Called in for the afternoon, I left my beautiful box of crayons on the picnic table – and they melted into a pile of goo. Boy was I bummed! But in hindsight, this memory fills me with gratitude and my joy is complete. Because as valuable as the box of color was to me, what was priceless was the love of a grandmother who lets you come visit and always buys you a great treat. I mourned the loss of my coloring-potential, but to this day, I embrace the joy that comes with knowing that my grandparents loved me well.

At her house, it was possible to feel midnight blue and fuchsia pink – all in one day. No one coerced another’s emotional response (looking for something tidy and more appropriate) or tried to minimize pain. It was a sad day when the crayons melted, but that night we still ate ice cream and played flashlight tag until the grownups rounded us up for the evening.

I hope that this week encouraged us to embrace all the colors in our emotional rainbow – and listen for the joy, peace and gratitude that manages to show up – even on a midnight blue kind of day.

This completes the two hundred third day of our three hundred sixty five day journey. May your journey draw you nearer to God and closer to your true God-created identity.

Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 3 and 4 in the morning; Romans 7 and Psalm 17 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 202 – Ruined by gratitude

Scripture focus: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

I have a friend who is perpetually perky. He’s completely genuine in this hopeful outlook on life. His wife says that she finds it annoying, but since they’ve been married fifty years – I assume she’s learned how to cope. Not everyone finds their way back to God and ends up with a Pollyanna personality.

Overflowing hope spills on all sorts of temperament types. The Drs. Ryan have this to say about gratitude on page 252 of one of my favorite books – Rooted in God’s Love.
“Gratitude is a kind of participation in and response to God’s grace…The experience of gratitude is a response of our inmost being to God’s grace. When gratitude breaks through, we are able to stop our frantic efforts to earn our way through life. In these moments of calm we see that our inmost being belongs to god. We are God’s creation. Sometimes that is all we need. Other times this thought that we are God’s dearly loved creation is so far beyond all we could ever have asked, hoped or dreamed for, that our hearts fill with praise and joy.”

For me, even on days when I’m not chipper, I find that gratitude is a lovely companion. I can’t force the experience of responding to God’s grace. So, especially on the days when I’m more grumpy than grateful – I’ve discovered a few things that help me get my gratitude groove going.

· I have a little note to self that reads: Remember! Notice the many gifts God is going to give you today! (Notice that I am assuming and presuming that God will indeed give me good gifts. This is biblically sound and totally appropriate.)
· I have a principle I practice several times a day. I ask myself: Am I thankful for these good gifts – and how can I express my gratitude?
· I take a snack break each afternoon, and I find a few minutes to sit and relax. I drink a cup of hot coffee in the winter or iced in the summer. I reflect back on the day thus far and ask myself – what important stuff did I miss today? Where there moments of joy that I missed? Evening is fast approaching – how can I create an environment of gratitude for my family? What can I do to bring joy to my boys (and my girl when she’s available to sprinkle with joy)?

These are just a couple ways I nurture gratitude. When I nurture gratitude, it seems like joy and peace find me.

Why am I so intentional in my search for gratitude? Because I’m aware that my amygdale (small piece of our brain in charge of responding to emotions) and my mid-brain (pleasure center) have been better trained for other, more limited emotional responses. I’m beefing up my emotional response system. Are there any emotions that your internal radar is missing?

May gratitude spill all over your spirit today. If you planned a cranky day – may it be ruined by your participation and response to God’s grace!

Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 1 and 2 in the morning; Romans 6 and Psalm 16 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 201 – Embrace Joy

Scripture focus: But the fruit of the spirit is…joy…Galatians 5:22

Recovery is a wild ride. Part of healthy recovery is learning how to experience the full gamut of life’s emotions. Recently, one of the children in our Saturday night celebration service came up and jumped into my arms. He was filled with joy! His parents took him to Disney for a vacation, and he had big news about his experience to tell me.

But recovery is a wild ride – and when practiced well – it provides all sorts of new experiences – and emotions! This family is filled with joy. Their joy knows no bounds. As a result of the hard work of recovery, they were able to hang together as a family. They’ve had the opportunity to go on vacation (one they can afford because they’ve worked and saved for it). They played!

I’m so excited for them! I too experience joy – hearing their story and hugging their happy boy. Dale Ryan provides another reason for our rejoicing in his book Rooted in God’s Love, p. 250.

“Shame does not coexist comfortably with joy….Jesus drew strength to reject shame from the anticipation of joy. We can let go of our shame when we allow ourselves to remember that God has plans for us that include joy. We are not aimlessly adrift in life, headed nowhere, wanderers in a meaningless maze. On the contrary, every day takes us closer to the fulfillment of God’s purposes. Jesus’ followers share his conviction that joy, not shame, is God’s purpose in creation. Today we can root ourselves in God’s love for us. We can scorn the shame. We can remind ourselves that God’s plans for us include joy.”

So, my friends, seize the joy. You just may find yourselves at Disney World!


Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 28 and 29 in the morning; Psalm 14 and 15 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 200 – Kill joy!

Scripture focus: The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and “sinners.” ‘ Luke 7:33-34

“One of the accusations made by the religious leaders of Jesus’ day was that he partied with undesirables. It was unacceptable in their minds to associate in any way with undesirables. That would make you unclean. But it was particularly unacceptable to party with undesirables. Then, as now, religion was thought to be very serious business, much too serious for the kind of celebrations that Jesus enjoyed…Jesus told many stories about God’s love for celebration. When the lost is found, the finder throws a feast. When the prodigal returns, the father has a party. When a single person repents, the angels rejoice. And on and on. Jesus, the man of sorrows, was also a man of celebration and joy.” Dale and Juanita Ryan, Rooted in God’s love, p. 246.

Are you a kill joy?
Do you resist resting?
Is it hard for you to play?

I understand that you may be in the midst of suffering. I know you may be grieving a tremendous loss. But I also believe that God is going to sneak in moments of joy in the midst of sorrow. I pray that we can embrace these respites when they arrive. They feed and nourish us, they revive our spirit. Appreciating and embracing moments of joy is not a betrayal of one’s grief – it is a gift from God in the midst of it. May you accept God’s wild and crazy gift of joy today!



Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 26 and 27 in the morning; Romans 5 and Psalm 13 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 199 – The paradox of resting in Jesus

Scripture focus: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

I used to skip over this verse. It made no sense to me. I thought followers of Christ were in the business of laying down their lives for their friends, loving their enemies, counting the cost (and it was high) and following the Master no matter what. Certainly scripture teaches us those principles.

But all these principles are balanced by other truths. Matthew 11 teaches us Jesus’ model for discipleship. And who can forget John’s words – “The work of God is this: believe in the one he has sent.” Paradoxical? Yes. Contradictory? I don’t think so.

I believe there are moments when we’re enlisted to lay down our lives, love our enemies, and count the high cost of servanthood and serve anyway. But those are moments.

In order to be ready, willing and able to respond to those moments – I think we need to spend hours and days and weeks and months and years preparing for the moment. We do that by following Jesus’ model of discipleship:

1. Come to Jesus.

2. Spend quality time with him – alone. Learn how to relate to Jesus one-on-one. This takes quantity time in order for it to become quality time.

3. A clue that we’re embracing #1 and #2 is that we’ll find that we’ve recovered our life. Setting aside both quantity and quality time with Jesus will require ditching a lot of other activities that once crowded our schedule.

4. Redefine rest. Jesus is promising us rest. This kind of rest isn’t the same thing as collapsing on the couch at the end of the day. Instead, rearranging our schedule actually results in a more restful day. We’re not exhausted in the evening; we may be tired, but we’re also invigorated – we find ourselves the happy owners of our own lives. Our weariness often has more to do with frustration over a life lived trying to avoid condemnation than a sign that we’ve worked hard. It is possible to work hard and rest well – all in the same day!

5. Watch Jesus. We don’t make it up as we go. The author and perfecter of our faith also has the insight scoop on what makes us tick and why. He shows us how to work and live at peace. He teaches us the unforced rhythms of grace – a concept we can’t embrace if we’re busy trying to prove ourselves worthy of others approval.

6. We are perfectly suited for the life Jesus wants us to live.

When we live like this on a daily basis, we’re equipped to serve and endure when he calls upon us to do heavy lifting – like lay down our lives, love our enemies, and bear the cost of discipleship.

Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 24 and 25 in the morning; Psalm 11 and 12 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 198 – Panic

Scripture focus: This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:19-20

I went on vacation a few years ago and had a series of panic attacks – go figure. Eventually someone explained the experience to me. I was told that when we go too long rushing and bustling around, our body acclimates itself to a high-stress, high-adrenaline lifestyle. When we slow down, our body doesn’t know what to do with all that adrenalin it’s been accustomed to pumping into our body like crack, and we experience panic attacks.

Panic – period of fear or discomfort, with 4 or more of the following: pounding heart/chest discomfort, sweating, trembling, shortness of breath, feeling of choking, nausea/abdominal distress, dizzy, faint, depersonalization, derealization, fear of losing control or going crazy, fear of dying, numbness or tingling, chills or hot flushes.

I have made the decision to live in such a way that increases the odds that I never waste a good vacation again detoxing from stress. Before I could fulfill that big dream, I had to learn about the nature of stress. I was actually experiencing low levels of panic on a regular basis – feelings I ignored – until I went on vacation. Sitting on the beach with nothing to do but apply sunscreen on a regular basis, these feelings of discomfort made no sense. But they got my attention! Is it possible that you, too, may have forgotten what it feels like to “set our hearts at rest”? I’ve made major lifestyle changes in order to find my way back to the peace that passes all understanding. The trip was worth it!

I’ve learned a lot about myself along the way. I’ve learned that running away from condemnation is stressful. Leaning into the grace and mercy of God is restful. Avoiding condemnation looks an awful lot like people pleasing. Pleasing God is more peaceful and less confusing than trying to make all the people happy all the time.

I thought stress was normal – and for many of us, that’s true. But it is not healthy. Big hearted people need to learn how to:
· rest, not rescue
· please God, not mere mortals
· respond to conviction, not condemnation.

May your day be filled with peace!



Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 22 and 23 in the morning; Romans 4 and Psalm 10 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 197 – Week 29 - Peace

Scripture focus: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:20

I think we can all agree that peace of mind is a precious experience; I bet we also utter a hardy “amen” when someone suggests that our hearts and minds need guarding. People search for peace in many ways – some of which seem very strange to me. I just finished reading the book, Into The Wild, by John Krakauer. It’s a documentary of sorts about one young man’s search for peace that resulted in death by starvation. It matters how we search for peace. What is not debatable is our need for it.

“Every organ and muscle in our body has a sympathetic or stress state and a parasympathetic or relaxed state. Both of these systems are part of the autonomic nervous system. Researchers at the Institute of HeartMath have found that the toxic emotions experienced as a result of this “busy-rush syndrome” cause disruptions to the autonomic nervous system that lead to erratic heart rhythms (among a myriad of other health problems). Take the time to do things that generate positive emotions, such as love, respect and kindness, and the result will be more coherent heart rhythms. This rhythm is a balance between the sympathetic (accelerates the heartbeat) and the parasympathetic (slows the heartbeat) nervous systems. Therefore, relaxing is not just a luxury, it’s a necessity.” Who Switched off My Brain?

It’s my prayer that we will find the peace of God, and allow it to transcend our understanding. May it permeate our life experience and recharge our emotional responses to life. May we be enriched by the fruit that this peace produces – like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. May we have whole brain experiences with God today.


Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 20 and 21 in the morning; Romans 3 and Psalm 9 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 196 – Week 28 at a glance

Scripture focus: The Lord your God is with you he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

This week’s devotions began with the words of Jesus, who says, “I came that they might have, keep, and constantly retain – vitality, gusto, vigor and zest for living”. What is the source of this vitality, gusto, vigor and zest for living? Whatever the source, it”that springs up from deep down inside.”

Next, we turned our attention to the enemy – who definitely doesn’t want us to experience the abundant life. Then we began to dissect some of the pitfalls and roadblocks to this vital, vigorous life. But before we got to our part in the process, we reminded ourselves of God’s part –

Point one: The life God dreamed for us is far better than we could have chosen for ourselves. It’s better than the best toy we could afford to buy with all our material wealth, better than the perfect husband and kids, better than the most fabulous job in the worldbetter better better than any big dream you and I could dream up for ourselves.

Point two: This unrivaled, unequaled, matchless, incomparably rich and overflowing life is up to God. When we acknowledge our powerlessness AND notice our unmanageable lives AND when we come to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves and he can restore us to sanity AND when we make the decision to turn our life over to him – he picks the dream. It’s a good dream – no, it’s a great dream. But God picks. We don’t pick. God picks.

Finally, we looked at three common false beliefs that get us off track, and open us up to attack from the enemy who came to kill, steal, and destroy. These false beliefs are: 1. I must do well. 2. The world must treat me well, and 3. Life should be easy.

Next week, we’re going to explore some of the physiological implications of living the uninformed life.


This completes the one hundred ninety sixth day of our three hundred sixty five day journey. May your journey draw you nearer to God and closer to your true God-created identity.

Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 18 and 19 in the morning; Romans 2 and Psalm 8 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 195 – Benefits of brain renovation

Scripture focus: The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14 NIV

In 2008 Tiger Woods won the U. S. Open on one leg. Injured, and advised to take it easy – the guy went out and won a tournament even though he was in the play-offs and had to pay an extra nineteen holes of golf! During this tournament, an interview with Tiger’s father, Earl, was played repeatedly. Basically, his father goes on record and reports that he not only taught Tiger how to swing a club, he taught him how to train his brain. He told his boy, “You will never, ever play against anyone who is as mentally tough as you.” The U. S. Open of 2008 proved Earl Woods to be a prophet.

How does one strengthen their mind, and improve the performance of their body?

“Although feelings and thoughts seem intangible, the brain is active anytime we feel or think anything. That activity can then lead to a cascade of changes in the body. The brain, as you know, regulates the heart, the gastrointestinal system, the lungs, and probably the immune system, and each change in the brain can lead to a sequence of changes throughout the body that can have an impact on health.” Healing and the Mind, by Bill Moyers, p.209

Evidently, it matters what you think. But this isn’t just about positive thinking. There’s more to the story!

“A fascinating aspect of all this interaction, and something you really need to be aware of, is that even though you can be presented with evidence that something is true, you won’t really believe it, unless you feel that it is true. It may be reasonable, logical, scientifically proven or just plain common sense, but you won’t believe it unless your brain’s limbic system (the seat of your emotions) allows you to feel that it is true. Your emotions are not separate, but rather enmeshed in the neural networks of reason in your mind.” Who switched off my brain? p.36

One of the ways we sharpen our mind is learning how to be present in the moment. The brain encodes every life experience with our five senses, with thoughts and feelings. If we’re distracted, disconnected, frustrated, and agitated – we miss important cues. From my perspective, when I’m freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional (F.I.N.E.) – those are the times I miss God moments.

For me, stillness is exceedingly important in the brain renovation process. We need time every day for stillness. Stillness provides time for the brain to focus. It promotes creativity. It encourages the experiencing of God moments. I pray that you will find some time each day to be still. (Let me remind you that when we figure out that we don’t have to do everything well, we don’t get distracted because we’re aggravated when others don’t treat us well, and when we realize life isn’t easy – all that renewed thinking frees up time for stillness.)


Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 16 and 17 in the morning; Psalm 6 and 7 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 194 – Brain renovation, Part 3

Scripture focus: We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity. 2 Corinthians 10:4-6 The Message

Another warped philosophy that I used to embrace was – LIFE MUST BE EASY. Frankly, I have no idea why I ever bought into this false belief. Life has never been easy. I used to be startled by hardship and suffering. I felt insulted when my projects and plans fell short of my expectations.

But life isn’t easy. Life is tough. Confession – I used to believe that when life was difficult, it was someone’s fault (not usually mine, but someone’s). I believed that frustrated plans and unfortunate events might just be God getting revenge on his wayward children. Honestly, I truly believed that.

Scripture, again, comes to our rescue. As we read through the bible, and if we can off-load some of these false assumptions and foolish presumptions – we realize that God isn’t in the business of punishment so much as he is fully committed to transformation and preparation.

God is no more interested in punishing us that I am eager to punish my own children. I can only think of a few times when Pete and I have ever felt the need to “punish” a child. And in our older age, we’d probably cut those times by half if we could go back and get a parenting redo.

But both of us are fully committed to preparation and discipleship. We have dreams for our children. We see within each of them their own unique “ever-increasing glory” – and we want to provide them with everything we possibly can to support their grand epic adventures.

Life is not easy. Our job as parents is to help prepare our children not only for the adventure, but also the battles. If Pete and I know this as the human, frail, inadequate, goofy parents that we are – how much more does God know? Tons and tons and tons. God knows infinitely more about what his babies need for the good life. And he is completely dedicated to equipping us.

Our job is to give up on false notions that hinder our ability to step as he speaks. Life isn’t easy. Once we figure this out – ironically, life gets a whole lot less frustrating!


Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 14 and 15 in the morning; Romans 1 and Psalm 5 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 193 – Brain renovation, Part 2

Scripture focus: He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:2-4

Narrowly defining what it means to live well in the land God has given us may entangle us in the performance trap. But it isn’t the only trap that we must escape if we want to live vigorously. Somewhere along the way, we may come to believe that OTHERS MUST TREAT US WELL. Seriously, I prefer for others to treat me well. I enjoy relationships with folks who understand the basic principles of living within the limits of loving God and others AND practice these principles in all their affairs.

But here’s the deal. Nowhere in scripture does it say, “Others must treat you well – or bad things will happen to them!” Trust me. I’ve looked. It’s not in there.

Desperately devoted followers who want to experience the abundant life on God’s terms discover other principles in scripture (while they’re looking for those verses about what other people are supposed to do). We realize that God speaks to us about how we are to treatothers. Yep.

Deep down inside us, the Holy Spirit cries out words of instruction and encouragement. He doesn’t say, “Hey, for the good life, make sure others treat you well.” No. The Holy Spirit speaks the words of God, and he says, things like –

· Love your enemies
· Speak words that build up, not tear down
· Be quick to listen and slow to speak
· Be kind

And a host of other instructions and guiding principles – none of which have a ding dang thing to do with other people treating you well. So if we want to develop a big heart, we need a better brain. We need to focus our attention on our part in God’s story. And let other people choose their own epic adventure.


Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 12 and 13 in the morning; Acts 28 and Proverbs 19 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 192 – Brain renovation, Part 1

Scripture focus: But I came that they might have, keep, and constantly retain a vitality, gusto, vigor, and zest for living that springs up from deep down inside. I came that they might embrace this unrivaled, unequaled, matchless, incomparable, richly loaded and overflowing life to the ultimate maximum!” Rick Renner’s amplified translation of John 10:10

I know – we read this verse, and the choice seems like a no brainer. We wake up in the morning, promising God (and maybe ourselves) that today we will embrace our unrivaled, unequaled, matchless, incomparable, richly loaded and overflowing life to the ultimate. Then we climb out of bed. And the toilet overflows. The kitchen is a mess. Two messages appeared on our cell phone overnight. We check our calendars and realize we have nine hours of meetings and seven hours of work – all squeezed in to a ten hour work day. The bread is moldy – so you end up packing twinkies and pudding and chips in your children’s lunch (the chips add fiber). Your spouse reminds you that the bills came in yesterday, and yet again, the family managed to spend more than they made last month. Something’s got to change. Is this the unrivaled, unequaled, matchless, incomparable, richly loaded and overflowing life you can embrace? Maybe. But first, we have to retrain our brain so that we can actually recognize the zestful life, even in the midst of messy living. We must let go of the false belief that “I must do well.” Everyone prefers the day when all goes well – but my friend, we don’t HAVE to do well in order to live with gusto. Desperately devoted followers, embracing the two points of yesterday’s devotionals stop evaluating life based on performance, and instead, ask God – what do you want me to do today? A working knowledge of scripture helps inform the answer. He wants us to believe in the one he had sent. He wants us to rest. He commands that we love God and others as we love ourselves.

· The toilet overflows, and the family pitches in and cleans up. Hey, we’ve got other toilets! We shut off the water, and plan on figuring out how to fix this when we have more time.

· The kitchen is messy. But it got that way because teenagers hung out late into the night – watching and playing sports, making cool music, and having some very interesting discussions with the parental units about tough life choices (and the Celtics). These kids definitely could be doing something else – that kitchen could be pristine! But at what cost? Besides, the worst kitchen disaster we ever experienced took thirty minutes to shovel out!

· The four basic food groups are preferred in a school lunch. But kids have survived on sugar and junk food. Besides, in the future they will use these interesting lunches to mock their mom in public – how fun is that?

· It would be nice to have a calm day at work, but when you pause to prepare – you remember you actually love your work. You’ll work diligently, and what doesn’t get finished will wait patiently for you to attend to it on another day.

· Certain months of the year are more expensive than others. How fortunate for us if we have money to pay the big bill without going into debt! And, although this conversation sounds rather repetitive, no longer does it trigger strong emotions and result in an argument.

And then it hits you – you are living the abundant life! More ideas for brain renovation tomorrow.

I want to know God’s thoughts…the rest are details. Einstein

Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 10 and 11 in the morning; Psalm 3 and 4 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 191 – The Potter Picks The Prevailing Purpose of Our Life

Scripture focus: I came that they might embrace this unrivaled, unequaled, matchless, incomparable, richly loaded and overflowing life to the ultimate maximum!” Rick Renner’s amplified translation of John 10:10

Two points for today, both are very, very important.

Point one: The life God dreamed for us is far better than we could have chosen for ourselves. It’s better than the best toy we could afford to buy with all our material wealth, better than the perfect husband and kids, better than the most fabulous job in the world…better better better than any big dream you and I could dream up for ourselves.

Point two: This unrivaled, unequaled, matchless, incomparably rich and overflowing life is up to God. When we acknowledge our powerlessness AND notice our unmanageable lives AND when we come to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves and he can restore us to sanity AND when we make the decision to turn our life over to him – he picks the dream. It’s a good dream – no, it’s a great dream. But God picks. We don’t pick. God picks.
Jesus is offering us the opportunity to embrace points one and two. Lest we forget, the enemy – the thief who wants us to go our own way, run our own ship, choose our own destiny – desires this for us…

The thief wants to get his hands into every good thing in your life. He’ll create conditions and situations so horrible that you’ll see no way to solve the problem except to sacrifice everything that remains from his previous attacks. In fact, this pickpocket is looking for any opportunity to wiggle his way so deeply into your personal affairs that he can walk off with everything you hold precious and dear. And that’s not all – when he’s finished stealing all your goods and possessions, he’ll take his plan to rob you blind to the next level. The goal of this thief is to totally waste and devastate your life. If nothing stops him, he’ll leave you insolvent, flat broke, and cleaned out in every area of your life. You’ll end up feeling as if you are finished and out of business! Make no mistake – the enemy’s ultimate aim is to obliterate you. Rick Renner’s amplified translation of John 10:10

The decision really is a no brainer.

Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 8 and 9 in the morning; Acts 27 and Psalm 2 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 190 – Week 28 – He came, so that we might LIVE

Scripture focus: But I came that they might have, keep, and constantly retain a vitality, gusto, vigor, and zest for living that springs up from deep down inside. Rick Renner’s amplified translation of John 10:10

Jesus says, “I came that they might have, keep, and constantly retain –
· Vitality
· Gusto
· Vigor and
· Zest for living”….

What is the source of this vitality, gusto, vigor and zest for living?
Ø Is it found in pleasing circumstances? Nope.
Ø Is it found in harmonious relationships? Good guess, but no again!
Ø Is it found in physical health? That helps – but no.
Ø Is it found in financial stability? No.
Ø Is it found in material possessions? Nope.
Ø Is it found in getting our own way? Nah.
Ø Is it found in the perfect job? Nope.
Ø Is it found in the perfect spouse? Sad but true – no it is not!
Ø Is it found in the perfect kids? Absolutely not.
Ø Is it found in high levels of excellent performance and achievement?

Thankfully, no.

Ø Is it found in the acquisition of our favorite toys and gadgets? Nope.
So what is the source?

…”that springs up from deep down inside.”

People who consistently experience vitality, gusto, vigor and zest for living are people with big hearts. Jesus came to give us a big heart. It’s my prayer that we accept his offer for help. This help will show up not so much in the acquisition of things, but in the renovation of the heart.

And I’m shooting straight with you here – every other road we take trying to acquire vim, vigor and vitality – if walked independently of God – will disappoint.



Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 6 and 7 in the morning; Acts 26 and Psalm 1 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 189 – Week 27 at a glance

Scripture focus: Make no mistake – the enemy’s ultimate aim is to obliterate you. Rick Renner’s amplified translation of John 10:10

This week we looked at discouragement, depression, anhedonia, regret, temptation, shortcuts, and the neurology of emotion. Whew! We’ve been busy. Highlights include some essential definitions:

1. Depression – an empty state, not characterized by an emotional experience, an inability to experience a full range of emotions, decreased responsiveness to our environment emotionally

2. Anhedonia – inability to experience pleasure

3. Temptation - a suggested shortcut to achieve that which we believe will ultimately be for good

4. Amygdale – almond-shaped structure behind the mid-brain that controls the body’s response to emotion

5. Glial cells – virtual vacuum cleaner for the brain

6. Neocortex – the thinking part of the brain

7. Emotional hijacking – what happens when the amygdale runs wild and gains control of the brain

Of course, none of these definitions is the actual point of this week’s devotions. Each concept is an illustration of our personal vulnerability. The enemy has come to kill, steal, and destroy. And sometimes, we play into his hand. We were created to have a wide range of emotional expression. So when we find ourselves depressed and anhedonic – we’re ripe for the picking.

We were created to wake up each morning, feel the cool breeze on our face and think – “My, how God loves me.” Knockout roses, sunrises and sunsets, the kindness of a stranger – all are moments that should spark a highly charged emotional response of gratitude.

But if we’re cranky and crotchety, distracted and disconnected – we miss these moments of grace. Instead, we focus on bad drivers and inconveniences. We notice the slights and ignore the unmerited favors of others. Our brain attends to the bad, and soon, it’s all we notice.

Do you realize the implications? Truly, we’re rewriting history in our brains. We’re creating a memory bank that affirms our bad believing and supports our arrogant entitlement to behave badly. Soon, the only emotions we care about are our own. We feel entitled to tell people how we feel, but unfortunately, we really don’t have an accurate handle on that. Because all we’re feeling is what we’ve reinforced repeatedly.

The gratitude, grace, mercy, joy, peace, patience, and all the other blessings have been swept away by our eager beaver glial cells. Once the moments of gratitude are ignored, they are actually lost to us as memories.

My oh my! “A fine mess we’ve gotten ourselves into Ollie!”

But wait. That’s only part of the story. More on the good news next week.

This completes the one hundred eighty ninth day of our three hundred sixty five day journey. May your journey draw you nearer to God, and closer to your true God-created identity.

Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 5 in the morning; Acts 25 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 188 – Regret

Scripture focus: The goal of this thief is to totally waste and devastate your life. If nothing stops him, he’ll leave you insolvent, flat broke, and cleaned out in every area of your life. You’ll end up feeling as if you are finished and out of business! Rick Renner’s amplified translation of John 10:10

Eventually, most of us figure out that we’ve been had by the enemy. And it’s not like he sticks around to comfort us in our loss. The second we realize that we’ve fallen into his trap, he turns on the taunt.

“How could you have been so stupid?” He says.
“You knew that was wrong!” He condemns.
“You’ll never get it right. Give up.” He mocks.

The enemy hasn’t changed his plan since the Garden of Eden – because it is an effective one. Once we wake up and realize that we’ve acted like big goofs – our shame is triggered. Sometimes we have guilt over our actions, and that would be fine, because we could learn about amends making and restitution. But the shame is a killer. It’s the emotional voice in our head crying out – “You’re broken and you’ll never be fixed. Something is wrong with you – more wrong than most. You are terminally unique in your brokenness, so there’s no need to look for a solution. What you need is some comfort.”

And thus, the cycle begins again.

I’m not kidding you. Breaking the cycle of shame is work that only God can accomplish. Fortunately for us, God actually loves his work – and his people.

For today, it’s my prayer that we recognize that when we’re fighting with our spouses, our parents, our children, our boss, our employee, our friend or even our postal worker – we’re really fighting against someone on our team. There is an enemy who has come to kill, steal, and destroy – but he’s not of human flesh. He wants to totally waste and devastate our lives. He wants to leave us without relationship. He wants us to discard friends and family. He wants us to get out of the hope business.

But know this: it isn’t over until God says so. God’s prevailing purposes prevail. He’s in the business of rescuing the perishing – even when the one perishing is you!

Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 3 and 4 in the morning; Acts 24 in the evening

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Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 187 – The neurology of emotion

Scripture focus: In fact, this pickpocket is looking for any opportunity to wiggle his way so deeply into your personal affairs that he can walk off with everything you hold precious and dear. And that’s not all – when he’s finished stealing all your goods and possessions, he’ll take his plan to rob you blind to the next level. Rick Renner’s amplified translation of John 10:10

In Dr. Caroline Leaf’s book, Who Switched Off My Brain? she asserts that every memory encoded in our brain is attached to both thought and feeling. Irwin McManus asserts the same principle in his book, Soul Cravings. Leaf takes the concept further by teaching us that memories encoded without emotional attachment are virtually erased by the glial cells. I never heard of such a thing! But according to her, when we sleep, the glial cells act like vacuum cleaners for the brain, cleaning out debris. Evidently, a memory with no emotion is like dog hair on a white tile floor – it will be swept away.

When we get stressed out, the amygdale shouts an alarm. This gets the attention of our mid-brain, and it begins to cry out for survival. A freaked out mid-brain cuts itself off from the neocortex, the “thinking brain” and soon we’re in the midst of a full blown craving. What do we crave? - whatever our body has learned to accept as a shortcut to better feelings.

All this activity in the brain creates an opportunity to lose our place in God’s story. Cut off from the reasoning part of our brain, emotionally hijacked, we will quickly lose our way. We’ll start making expedient choices rather than excellent ones. We’ll begin to rationalize and justify our emotional responses to daily events. Soon, we’ll be completely convinced that we’re the smartest people in the world. Our sense of entitlement and “right” will be so strong that we won’t even consider that we might be wrong! And the glial cells complicate matters.

While we’re nursing our wounds, obsessing over the rightness of our ways (and the wrongs of others) – we are not emotionally present to see God’s blessings, grace and mercy in our day. We will miss the kindness of others. We will fail to notice that in the midst of our emoting, others responded to us with restraint and kindness. Without noticing these things, our brain encodes the encounter without emotion – and that night, the glial cell will come in and suck the memory out of your brain. You know what you’re left with? A series of very emotional, angry memories – further justification for why you feel you can act like a jerk. The information that might help us pause to prepare or reconsider our strongly felt beliefs, is erased from our memory banks – further hardening our stance. Scary, isn’t it?

Take note that we are completely unaware that all this neurochemistry is creating the perfect storm for losing everything we hold precious and dear. We think we’re sharing our feelings – when instead, we’re stomping on others. We think we’re fighting for a cause – when instead, because we’re fighting - we’re losing our ability to love others. We think we’re right – when instead, the better question would be – are we in right relationship?

But that’s not all. While we’re emotionally hijacked and making a mess of things, the thief moves in for the kill. There’s more going on in our life than just our bad behaving. Our self-centered (more chemistry than character) perspective is like leaving the doors to our homes unlocked with a big note on the door – “Steal here”.


This is serious business.

Recommended reading: 1 Chronicles 1 and 2 in the morning; Acts 23 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 186 – Temptations

Scripture focus: The thief wants to get his hands into every good thing in your life. He’ll create conditions and situations so horrible that you’ll see no way to solve the problem except to sacrifice everything that remains from his previous attacks. Rick Renner’s amplified translation of John 10:10(a) found in Sparkling Gems from the Greek

I never tire of considering the life of King David. A man after God’s own heart, in possession of every good thing in life, and he blew it. When I read through the historical accounts of the life and times of David in the Old Testament, I am always amazed by how his story unfolds. After slaying a giant, sparing Saul’s life out of a sense of unfathomable loyalty and honor, and finally achieving his destiny – kingship – David’s life unravels.

As the scriptures report – “In the spring, when kings go to war – David stayed home.” And while there, his eyes beheld Bathsheba. He fetches her, impregnates her, and then seems to wake up from the nightmare that has become his life. But just for a moment. He realizes he’s done wrong but promptly falls back into a horrible nightmarish situation. In a misguided attempt to right his wrong without accepting personal responsibility, he calls Bathsheba’s husband home in a thinly veiled attempt to provide Uriah an opportunity to sleep with his wife. DNA testing wasn’t available – so David thinks his little plan will surely get him off the hook.

Uriah refuses to sleep with his wife while the other troops are fighting, foiling David’s plan. Does David now choose the road of responsibility? No. He has Uriah murdered. Think this through. David is the king. If he sent an email out to the troops, and told Uriah he had the “hots” for his wife – do you know what Uriah would have done? He would have said, “Have her my King! She’s yours for the taking!” That’s the way it worked. But David, living independently of God, took shortcuts. He tried to make himself feel – pleasure, excitement – who knows? Instead of waiting for the fruit, David went out and stole fruit off of someone else’s tree.

David was a bad boy – but there’s more to the story. The thief waited for the opportunity to “kill, steal and destroy” (NIV translation of John 10:10(a)). David presented him with the opportunity the moment he loved without limits. Bathsheba was off limits. Regardless of the cultural mores of his time, David clearly knew what he did was wrong. In his spirit, David knew that loving God and others required more of him than even his own people required of their king.

As we make our choices today, let’s not forget David. There is a thief wanting to get his hands on your good life. You may not feel like life is good today, and perhaps you’ll be tempted to take a shortcut to feeling better. But watch out. While we’re taking the shortcut (temptation – a suggested shortcut to achieve that which we believe will ultimately be for good), the thief is alert to seizing the moment.


Recommended reading: 2 Kings 24 and 25 in the morning; Acts 22 and 23 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 185 – Shortcuts

Scripture focus: “Don’t look for shortcuts to God. The way to life – to God! – is vigorous and requires total attention…What is required is serious obedience – doing – what my Father wills. These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on…But if you use my words in bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards.” Matthew 7, selected verses

I rarely feel like exercising, eating fruits and vegetables, hanging up my clothes, or cleaning the lint out of my dryer filter. I rarely feel like putting gas in my car, flossing my teeth, or speaking kindly and calmly to the lady who just rammed my bumper with her car. I never feel like mowing the lawn, waking before dawn, making school lunches or unloading the dishwasher. It took me years to realize this was a spiritual malady.

When Jesus tells us that the two most important commandments are to love God and others as we love ourselves, he’s not talking about mushy emotions. He’s talking about doing things like:

· Exercising because it strengthens and cares for his temple – our bodies that house his Spirit.

· Eating right because it provides stamina and nourishment, improves our memory and equips us for whatever toil the day requires.

· Taking care of chores – like car maintenance, lawn care, and housecleaning is a spiritual act of worship. It’s a way to express gratitude for what we’ve been given, and it gets whatever we own fit for sharing with others.

· Speaking kindly and calmly is appropriate in every relationship. But learning how to do so takes lots and lots of practice. Whether we feel like it or not – it is what it means to love – even our “enemies.” (Enemy – anyone who tempts us to NOT dare to love like God.)

Waiting for a feeling to stir us to action is like waiting for my kids to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, clean their rooms, and do their homework because they feel like it – it’s not going to happen! I suppose that’s why I’ve come to believe that trying to use my feelings as the determining factor in my behaving is ridiculous. It’s a shortcut. It’s taking the easy way out. When my feelings match God’s prevailing purposes – that’s awesome. But waiting for my feelings to coincide with God’s way to life is risky behavior.

However, do not hear me saying that it is ever appropriate to just charge through life without giving our emotions the respect they deserve. God made us with emotions. He gave our brain a special, almond-shaped part called the amygdale – designed specifically to manage our body’s response to emotions. Feelings are a big deal to God.

So what exactly should be our response to our feelings? Should we ignore, embrace, exhort, deny, or deify our feelings? Should we pick and choose feelings to acknowledge, and others to discount?

More on the messy marriage of faith and feelings tomorrow.

Recommended reading: 2 Kings 22 and 23 in the morning; Acts 22 and Psalm 150 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 184 – Two words

Scripture focus: You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. Psalm 30:11, 12

1. Depression – an empty state, not characterized by an emotional experience, an inability to experience a full range of emotions, decreased responsiveness to our environment emotionally

2. Anhedonia – inability to experience pleasure

“I think life is boring.” And from the way he lounges in the chair, staring off into space, I’m quite convinced that at a minimum, he finds conversation with me boring.

“Is there anything in your life that revs your engine?”

“No.”

“You don’t think it’s fun to go down to the river with your friends?”

He glances away from the beautiful bricked walled landscape that is my window view. This question has peaked his interest. He’s sizing me up, wondering exactly what I do and do not know about that nasty little incident down by the river. “Yeah, well, I like being with my friends. They’re ok, but it’s not like they make me happy or anything.”

“What makes you happy?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s sad.”

“Not really. That’s life. The real world just isn’t all that great.”

At the moment, for this young adult, the real world isn’t all that great. He believes it isn’t great because he’s on lockdown at home for some particularly heinous (alleged) behavior. He’s got a court date when he should be thinking about a prom date. He’s looking at jail time when he was previously looking at college scholarships, weighing his options, and considering his opportunities. All those options and opportunities pretty much disappeared when his arrest was made public. His mom thinks his arrest caused his depression and anhedonia. His dad thinks he’s lazy. Other’s believe that some wacked out neurochemistry messed with his pleasure center and a few think it’s the result of all those drugs he ingested daily “for fun”. This kid tells me he does drugs because the real world isn’t good enough – that the drugs make the real world seem like a more amenable place to park one’s existence. According to his theory, his anhedonia and depression preceded his daily dosing on marijuana, Jim Beam and prescription pills. Who knows what’s really going on with him? Although the question sounds fatalistic, the answer is fantastic. God knows. God knows the deal, and what caused it. He knows what’s bull and what’s believable. He understands the etiology, but even better, he has the cure for what ails this young man. And he knows the truth about us too – the way we must take to turn our wailing into laughing, our sackcloth into joy, our silent suffering into singing. God gets it, and he gets us. If the real world doesn’t seem quite good enough for you, will you consider exploring the world through the eyes of God? It just might move you from not-quite-good-enough to great.

Recommended reading: 2 Kings 19, 20 and 21 in the morning; Psalm 148 and 149 in the evening

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 183 – Week 27 - Discouragement

Scripture focus: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

“I am so discouraged. I just don’t think I’m making much progress in my spiritual journey. It seems like I struggle with the same feelings of shame and depression no matter what I do!”

“You know – I have that same issue!” - pipes in a stranger from the next table.

In the end, my girlfriend and I have a perfectly lovely conversation with a complete stranger about what a desperately devoted follower of Christ should feel on a day-to-day basis. (I personally think “desperately devoted” is a clue.)

In Eugene Peterson’s translation of the bible (The Message), we find this passage in the book of Galatians. “But what happens when we live God’s way?” [Good. This is our question. What does happen to our emotions when we live God’s way? I’m immediately reminded of what the NIV translation says about this same topic, in the same verses, of the same book – Galatians – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Frankly, it’s this verse that my new and old friend wrestles with over lunch. Is this what happens when we live God’s way? What if we think we are living God’s way – but we don’t always experience the fruitfulness of Galatians 5:22? What are we missing?]

Peterson continues – “He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard – things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.”

Three observations:
1. My friend Rachel drove back in the middle of the night in pouring down rain to make it to class on time – simply because she made the commitment to do so. It felt scary and terrible – but she did it.

2. I’ve got a friend with an eating disorder. She went to treatment because she feels affection for her children. She doesn’t feel very peaceful about the decision and she’d prefer to isolate with her disease – but she did it.

3. There’s this guy I know who is dying of cancer. He’s surrounding himself with the people and things he loves. He laughs more than he cries. He reports a newfound awareness of the holiness of people and things. He wants a cure for his cancer. If you push him, he might just admit to his deep and profound sorrow over leaving behind young children and a wife he adores. But he need not force his way in life - he’s directing and marshalling his energies wisely. He’s also in extreme pain and suffering – but he does the next right thing.

Maybe we should start thinking about the possibility that this kind of fruitful living is happening in our lives – but we’re missing it because we’re so focused on feeling love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control!

This month, we’ll focus on the messy mingling of faith and feelings in our devotional time!

Recommended reading: 2 Kings 17 and 18 in the morning; Acts 20 and 21 in the evening