July 2 - Addiction to Self
Scripture focus: The religious leaders asked Jesus' followers: "Why does he eat with tax collectors and 'sinners?'" Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
In Gerald May's book, Addiction and Grace, he echoes the thought held by the founders of the Twelve-Step program; both agree that the core human disease is addiction to self. I observed this phenomenon recently while traveling across the country via air during a major storm surge. It is never good news to live on the East coast and have an appointment scheduled on the West coast on the very day that Mother Nature decides to blanket the mid-section of the nation with thunderstorms, tornadoes and other weather-related crises. The delays this causes in airports across the nation are extremely annoying. But the good news is that it provides extroverted types lots of opportunities to meet new people and enjoy interesting conversation. I was sitting in Dallas, waiting for the storms to ease off to the East so that we could take off, and found myself surrounded by conversationalists. Soon we were recounting where we were headed and why. I met a women's lacrosse coach and a college alum headed to his reunion. I listened to a disgraced beauty pageant contestant share her story with an older gentleman who blatantly admired her "attributes" while trying to evangelize her soul. I talked to a "Hot Shot" (that's their real name) firefighter (female) whose mother wants her to put down her ax, find a nice boy and settle in Poughkeepsie. Somewhere along the line we got to talking about recovery. Everyone had an opinion about the recovery process. Some felt like there was no such thing as addiction -- just people who took the concept of a good time too far. Others thought it was a character issue. No one was unclear or confused about their personal perspective -- until I brought up the issue of addiction to self. A guy who happened to have told us he was sitting in first class thought that was a ridiculous over-statement -- until I offered to take his seat in first class and trade him mine (row 31 -- back in the back and in the middle seat of three). The disgraced beauty queen thought that, perhaps, maybe, just possibly there might be something to this concept of self-addiction. The college alum was having none of it. He believed that we were supposed to take pride in ourselves and look out for number one. He thought we should all strive for excellence and peak performance. In the spirit of the moment, this caused the "Hot Shot" to suggest that this desk jockey would never really test his limits until he abandoned his soft life and joined the forestry service where he, too, could train to fight fires. All this good natured banter resulted in an elderly lady asking a simple question, "What is it that you personally believe you cannot live without?" Slowly, one after another began to confess, "I am addicted to myself." Then our flight got called and we all proved the point by rushing the gateway in a determined attempt to grab our seat and cargo space as soon as possible so as not to be further inconvenienced. Once seated, I thought to myself, "Every person in this discussion knows they were created for more than just the relentless pursuit of self-care, and this conversation has triggered our shame. But what must happen to be inspired 'to be ye transformed'"?
Recommended reading: 2 Corinthians 10-13
Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community
3 comments:
I wonder if there are two sides to the coin...self addiction and self rejection? It feels to me in my life like they work together to keep me from being all God created me to be. I have to look at myself through God's eyes, not mine. I hope the transformation process comes with those goggles!
Anonymous I think their are to sides to the coin and both start with self.My inspriration,I needed relief from self.I had built a one person prison.I thought I was the guard over inmate Self, only to find out the inmate had taken over.The ring of keys I USED one by one stopped working and all that was left was self.I was sick and tried of being sick and tried of Me.I believe I will always be recovering never recovered.I pray I will always be transforming never transformed.If I ever see myself as recovered or transformed, I am afraid I would want Gods job back.
God Bless
Do you think self-addiction and self-rejection are both symptoms of forgetfulness of God? When we forget about God, who he is and how much he loves us - isn't it inevitable that our God-vision goggles get misplaced (because we're not thinking we need them) and then, depending on the circumstances we either appear self-addicted or -rejecting. When we are conscious of God, then we can't help but be more aware of our true God-created identity - and see ourselves as part of a bigger story, so we aren't as caught up in our own personal drama?
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