Day 265 – Week 30 at a glance
Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World
Scripture focus: "Ah, God, listen to my prayer, my cry—open your ears. Don't be callous; just look at these tears of mine. I'm a stranger here. I don't know my way— a migrant like my whole family. Give me a break, cut me some slack before it's too late and I'm out of here." Psalm 39:12-13 The Message
This week we walked through Psalm 39 in our scripture focus. It concludes with a veiled threat. “Give me a break, cut me some slack before it’s too late and I’m out of here.”
Before Pete and I married, we made a promise to each other: never, ever mention the “D” word (divorce) in an argument. Threats of leaving and divorce are serious trust-busters in a marriage. We weren’t making a theological statement or taking a naïve approach to our marital commitment. We weren’t trying to avoid the possibility of divorce, or caring more about staying married than having a great marriage. Our promise to each other was one where we said we’d never use withdrawal of love and commitment as a weapon of war in a disagreement.
God and I have the same deal going. Even when I feel forsaken and abandoned – I refuse to believe it. And sometimes when it would be easy to think about giving up on this God stuff and taking up tennis instead, I refuse to romance the idea of leaving God.
Sometimes the commitment is easy. Last night I stood in a muddy river and baptized a group from our NorthStar community. Standing ankle deep in muck and watching the faces of those entering the water, my spirit cries out, “Yes Lord!”
Other days the commitment is hard. A string of dry devotional days or financial hardships paired with difficult decisions and solid evidence pointing to my own inadequacies all add up to make my decision to believe in the one he has sent an act of discipline.
Our marriage has had the same challenges. When everything is rocking along at a steady pace, I delight in my marriage. Other times I consciously decide to count my marital blessings, and I have to rummage through some yukky stuff to find the hidden treasure.
But on those lonely, sometimes paranoid days, I recall this: the fruit of the Spirit is lush and I can only gain access to an internal Garden of Eden when I live life God’s way.
So although the psalmist is just spouting off, I am not a big fan of threatening to leave, or acting like the world is coming to an end.
My brother gave me some sage advice years ago, when on one of my freaking out days he gently advised, “Teresa, the world can only come to an end once. In the meantime, we probably ought to just get busy doing the next right thing.” Amen
This concludes our two hundred and sixty sixth day of devotional readings. Keep going!
Recommended reading: Isaiah 39 and 40 in the morning; Isaiah 41 and Ephesians 1 in the evening
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