May 25 - Authentic community
Scripture focus: The wounds from a lover are worth it; kisses from an enemy do you in. Proverbs 27:6 (The Message)
I prefer my friends friendly.
I love words of affirmation, compliments and cards reminding me that someone thinks I'm worth the price of postage.
But what I love and what I truly need are sometimes two different things.
Last Friday night, Pete and I went out for a date night. We went to a nice restaurant, downright fancy by our standards (meaning it didn't have a drive through window and the servers weren't wearing uniforms).
While we nibbled our way through luscious appetizers, the couple next to us prepared for departure. When the woman stood, it was apparent that she had a wardrobe malfunction. I saw the gentleman glance down, appearing to notice the same issue that I had seen as she rose from her seat. Not one word was exchanged between them. I know this because I was watching carefully, and she didn't immediately rush to fix her very embarrassing gap in coverage.
This is a total guess, but I don't think this man was her husband or her lover. He certainly wasn't her friend. As she left the restaurant, her unplanned exposure was noticed by others. A group of very young adults snickered as she departed. I would have snatched them bald-headed if Pete hadn't interfered.
Authentic community provides the environment where true friends tell each other the truth, not just the good stuff. This pinpoint prick of pain in the moment of truth telling actually protects the individuals and the community from abuse and embarrassment. How much better for that lady if the gentleman has gently leaned over and whispered in her ear, "My dear, the hanging gardens are exposed." Instead, he allowed her to be shamed in front of strangers rather than suffer the discomfort of exchanging a needed word of correction among friends.
Strangers can't offer up these kinds of quiet words of correction. Only true friends can be friendly and tell the truth.
Be one of those kinds of friends.
Recommended reading: Psalm 44-46
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