May 28 - Love our longing, II
Scripture focus: Lord, my longings are sitting in plain sight, my groans an old story to you. Psalm 38:9 (The Message)
I love to learn. This year I set out to learn how to improve my health by making one small change per month for an entire year. When I gave up artificial sweeteners I thought I was going to need a trip to detox. The research is mixed, but there are enough warning signs about mass consumption of these products that I decided to give them up. I'm telling you, my withdrawal reminded me of what my friends said it was like when they gave up crack. Of course, I am exaggerating to make a point. But suffice it to say it was hard to deprive myself of the pink, blue and even yellow packets that promise loads of sweetness without any consequences to the waistline.
Dr. May says that learning how to accept deprivation as a natural, normal condition of life is important not only for the addicted, but for our society. He says we've been sold a bill of goods – by both direct and implied teachings - we've been taught to avoid discomfort. We're conditioned to believe that pain, yearning, and longing mean something is wrong.
Comfort is right; discomfort is wrong.
He claims that this kind of thinking is stifling the human spirit. He asks us to consider recovering the truth that we were never meant to be completely satisfied. "To live as a child of God is to live with love and hope and growth, but it is also to live with longing, with aching for a fullness of love that is never quite within our grasp. As attachments lighten and idols fall, we will enjoy increasing freedom. But at the same time our hearts will feel an even greater, purer, deeper ache. Authentic spiritual wholeness, by its very nature, is open-ended. It is always in the process of becoming, always incomplete. Thus we ourselves must also be always incomplete." Addiction and Grace, pp. 179-180.
Here's what I'm learning about deprivation. It's very hard to give up "that thing" when I'm craving it. When I give into the urge, I am momentarily satisfied. But in some ways I also feel diminished. As I ride the wave of discomfort and emerge out the other side (usually no longer than twenty minutes of longing), I am left with a more lasting, lingering sense of satisfaction.
I don't think making a lifestyle centered around deprivation is a good idea. That takes us down the pathway of anorexia. But Dr. May has a point. There is value in learning how to accept and expect deprivation. May we learn to love our longings.
Recommended reading: Acts 1 - 3
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1 comment:
I was told once possibly many times that if I believed life was easy,my beliefs needed to be adjusted.The serenity prayer tells us that hardship is the pathway to peace.I have also been taught that trusting in god does not remove suffering from my life only my ability to deal with it better.If may life had been a walk in the park up until this point, why would have changed anything.I spent most of my life comforting myself somehow and if I am not paying attention I will find new and different ways to find comfort.Generally the comforts I pick are not very good for me or anyone around me.I have spent a good portion maybe all of my life looking for instant gratification. I never learned to long as a child because my parent all ways comforted me.I never learned to long as a teen, because I started comforting me.I never learned to long as a sober adult, because I was always finding new ways to comfort me (got to love 0% finance deals when you have no money for comforts). today I am left with this thought, May I learn to love my longings after I learn to long.
You have to love this Northstar thing because Teresa will make you look at yourself and think maybe I am not all right.She will help you find the discomfort that leads to change. God Bless the Northstar Community of whigh I am one.I do know that I can not spell or use grammer correctly, God loves me anyway so should you.
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