NorthStar Community Daily Devotional

June 5 - Shame says, "Hide!"

Scripture focus: He said, "I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid." God said, "Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?" The Man said, "The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it." God said to the Woman, "What is this that you've done?" "The serpent seduced me," she said, "and I ate." Genesis 3:11-13 (The Message)

If sin (living independently of God) inflames shame, what exactly is shame?

• Shame-filled people believe that something is uniquely broken in us that cannot be fixed.
• Shame-filled folks have the mistaken impression that because we sin something is wrong with us.
• Unresolved shame creates the need to hide and isolate, robs us of our dignity and ability to be honest with ourselves about our shame. Notice that Adam and Eve didn't go running off to tell their heavenly Father what they did wrong. Instead, they hid.
• Since the human has no capacity to cope with sin, most people choose to try to manage their sin by blaming others for their problems. It's easy to get confused and think that shame-soaked people have a problem accepting personal responsibility. But the root of the problem is a keen awareness of our own powerlessness in the face of sin. We can try to boost our attempts at accepting personal responsibility, but without dealing with the root of the issue we will run on the hamster wheel of shame unless we get to the bottom of this problem!

The good news is that shame comes with a host of symptoms, which can help us identify when we've gotten ourselves into a stewpot of shame. Some symptoms of a shame attack include:

1. High sensitivity to our own sin and therefore, high sensitivity to the sin of others.
2. In a difficult situation a shame-filled person loses objectivity and the ability to love others and instead, we go to any lengths to become the issue.
3. Unable to give and receive love.
4. Susceptible to wrong life choices.
5. Controlling of others.
6. Unable to stick with, establish long term healthy relationships because our shame will lie to us about others (expect too much/judge/hypersensitive), assume they think like we do (expect too much of them/judge them/hypersensitive), and we will either withdraw or sabotage the relationship by shaming behaviors until they have to protect themselves from our angry, shaming ways.
7. Shaming creates hiding and isolating behaviors - so that we resist joining groups, asking for feedback, putting ourselves in situations where we share ourselves in an honest and true way.

Recommended reading: Hosea 1-3

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