June 8 - Who loves you baby?
God does not constantly approve of us like a doting parent in denial.
I have a teacher friend who tells me that the worst part of her job is dealing with parents who think their children are perfect. She believes that these parents may have good intentions – they believe they are protecting their children. But what's really happening is that these poor kids are learning some lousy (and unanticipated) lessons.
I had a kid tell me once that his mother didn't think he could do anything wrong – and he hated how she always defended him, charged up to the school and blasted his teachers, and even once threatened to sue his piano teacher. I asked him why he hated this. Surely he liked it that his mom never fussed at him!
"Oh, but she does. She just doesn't do it in front of others." This kid's mom was so worried about how her child's behavior reflected on her, she could not accept any acknowledgement of a mistake in public. And if he did what comes naturally to children and adults alike – make a mistake – she had to blame someone else for it. I know this well-intentioned mom believes that she's supporting her son's efforts and making sure that others don't inflict harm. But what's she done is teach her kid that she doesn't trust him to manage his own life. She's taught him that the world is out to get him, and he needs to defend himself with offensive actions. She's taught him that making mistakes is such a big deal, that we must go to all sorts of crazy lengths to make sure that we never ever admit we made a mistake. She's teaching her kid to hide. She's teaching him that she loves him conditionally.
On the other hand, God demonstrates his love for us like this – while we were still running around in fig leaves, before we ever came clean and acknowledged our sin and shame – he went out and made us some cool leather clothes to protect us.
I ask you – who loves more? The one who sees the sin and loves any way, or the one who is so sensitized to sin that they cannot acknowledge its presence? God loves us even when we act out.
Recommended reading: Hosea 11-14
- click on the word comments and join our conversation
Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community
- click on the word comments and join our conversation
Copyright 2009 NorthStar Community
2 comments:
did I love while living in denial?I would yes,I loved the sins that reenforced my shame and only led me to becomes a better sinner to hide my ever increasing shame.It is only now that I can place the name sin on the behaviors because I have a new found trust in God.I did love people around during this time of my life as incomplete as it was.I did not love myself as I did not want to know myself.I seemed to always be disapointing folks.I am not sure I disapointed myself because I had already judged myself as useless, worthless,alone, unwanted,unloved.It is here that I know I felt some type of love as I knew to miss it.Today I beleive it was the seed planted in my soul by a Master.No matter what I did to kill it, it kept trying to find a way to bring me home to Him. For me as recovery happen I came to know myself and idenify my behaviors and started to find a God. I came to a place of a comfortable understanding with God,becausing I did not know to trust only please. While trying to please God I tried to modify my behavior.Now learning to trust God I see my behavior changing.I know this became a long ramble to answer a simple question, who loves more? I do today as I continue to work on my trust in him I find I am learnign to love myself and others better.Since I no longer have the task of judging, I have much more time for LOVING.That question was easy,bring it on Girl.Have a blessed day all.
wow, what a perfect portrayal of my relationship with my mother. anyone outside my immediate family circle that criticized me was given a tongue lashing by my mother. yet in private, at home, my mother never found anything I did right, and turned her tongue lashing skills on me. so her tongue lashing of others in public were not for my benefit, but hers.
Post a Comment