NorthStar Community Daily Devotional

April 1

In March, my second mother died. Technically, she was my mother-in-law. But in all the ways that I can imagine measuring such things, she was my other mother. Nana was 85 years old and getting tired. But, as she said with great calmness, “It was a kick in the gut” when doctors informed her that the pneumonia she thought she was battling was really a rapidly growing mass in her chest. Doctors often leave their crystal balls at home and understandably, they don’t like predicting these things, but all of us knew that her time was short. She received her diagnosis on Sunday, and was ushered into the heavenlies in the wee hours of the following Saturday morning (six days later). We had her memorial service two days after her passing, five days ago. I’ve decided to scrap my previous writings for this month, and here’s why. She and I had some precious time together those first few days after her diagnosis. When she had the energy, she did what she has always done – meet any request that was within her power to meet for her family. “Tell me what you hope I learned from you, but may have missed,” I asked. I brought in my laptop and started scribing. This month, Nana and I have collaborated. I think you’re in for a treat.

Scripture focus: The Lord said to Moses, “…Show respect to the aged; honor the presence of an elder; fear your God. I am GOD.” Leviticus 19:32 The Message

Marion Peabody grew up in a rowdy household. Her mother was, by all accounts, a pistol. Gram Peabody once owned a Ford with a lot of giddy up. The story goes that she once pulled up next to a police cruiser at a stop light, threw the Ford in neutral, revved the engine, and called out to the startled officers, “Wanna drag?” This is the same woman, who when approached by members of the Lions Club with a polite request (“Hi, I’m a Lion, would you like to make a donation?”), responded with a growl, “I’m a Tiger!” And she was. She had a big heart and a bawdy sense of humor, having grown up with a house full of boys. Sometimes Marion was embarrassed by her mother’s ways. The decisions made by a previous generation didn’t always fit well with what Marion was learning at church. She often wished her mother wouldn’t dispense advice to her own adolescent boys with such…certainty.

Marion learned from her elders. She walked the tightrope that each generation traverses and managed to respect her elders without blindly following their lead. Fortunately, she continued to learn how to serve others always and make delicious Oatmeal Bread, Dough Boys, and Toll House Cookies from her mom. Lessons learned as she watched her mother feed many with few resources during the Great Depression stuck. In her mind, she determined to make some different choices about how she would relate to her children and grandchildren. She was smart and observant. She was willing to adapt. Perhaps that was why all her off spring eagerly rushed home when the news of her latest health crisis was dire.

In fact, she learned from lots of people. She wanted to do the right thing. When she made a mistake, she would admit it. She had a teachable spirit.

On the Saturday that Marion ended up in the hospital, the nurse at the retirement community where she lived called her son, (my husband) Peter. She felt that Mrs. McBean needed to be seen by a doctor. Pete went over, picked up his mom and headed to her favorite hospital. Along the way, she said, “Peter, I have not used good judgment. I should have done this yesterday.”

Isn’t that amazing? Sick and tired, she was still at her core aware of her own limitations and willing to admit her shortcomings. She believed that she had shown poor judgment, and felt the need to both acknowledge it and make amends. Nana was a humble and gentle spirit in a world that often rewards a different kind of disposition. She is a woman worth imitating.


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