Day 19 - The paradox of suffering, Part I
Scripture focus: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
"This is not what I signed up for in this marriage. We made a covenant before GOD!!! We gave our life to him; traveled all over the world for him; had daily devotionals and attended spiritual retreats! Heck, we even led retreats on marriage enrichment!!! How could this be happening to us? Didn't God say he would prosper us and protect us from harm? Where is God in all this? He said he'd give us hope and future - you call this mess hopeful?"
Like many spiritually-minded people, this family has recently uncovered a hidden addiction - and it's tearing the family apart. They don't understand. Quoting Jeremiah 29:11 as if it's a "get out of suffering free card," this family is wrestling with how such a dirty little secret could have festered in such a desperately devoted household.
This is a spiritual conundrum worth unpacking! Has it occurred to you that perhaps God's definition of prosperity is wildly different than our own presumptions? John Ortberg says, "There is a strange paradox deep in the soul. Years ago, I was part of a survey that asked thousands of people what had most helped them grow spiritually. The number one answer was pain." (Running In Circles, p. 7)
The number one answer was pain. Pain helps people grow spiritually. Suffering can produce hope and a future. Cyclical suffering (unproductive, repetitive, never-learn-a-single-lesson-from-it-suffering) is harmful. Productive suffering prevents harm and produces character. It is one way to strengthen a heart.
"Times of suffering and difficulty had a way of making people aware of their frailty and lack of control. They shatter our self-sufficiency. They open us up to receiving the truth about ourselves. When biblical writers like James say that suffering has the power to bring about maturity in the human soul, they are simply making observations about the way things are." (Ortberg continues.)
My friend cries out in his grief, not because he's a lousy theologian, but simply because he has a decision to make. It's the same decision you and I face daily. Are we on this spiritual journey for the promise of prosperity? Or are we walking this road because we believe in the One God sent? Baby believers may run to the throne of grace in response to suffering in hopes of finding relief. That's as it should be - keep on coming, God loves his babies! But big boy and girl believers grow big hearts when they realize that this journey isn't all about "me"! My friend has lived a long time entrenched in spiritual "doings" without growing out of his baby fat. This suffering experience is an opportunity to rejoice over. This is a pivotal moment in his life: will he hold on to his pacifier (addiction) or will he allow God to mold him into his true God-created identity? There's more going on than God following us around making sure we're comfy. A friend gave me this sign, and I read it regularly, "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!"
This is a heartless world that inherently produces suffering. Harm happens. God is providing us a way to suffer productively. Listen, this is a huge point - avoidance of suffering is not an option in this world. The question is, how will you respond to the opportunity to grow as you suffer?
Recommended reading: Genesis 39 and 40 in the morning; Psalm 17 in the evening
4 comments:
Thank you so much for this devotional. Our family, too, has been ripped apart by addiction issues, transforming us from a seemingly spiritual household to a truth-telling, broken, suffering but redeemed bunch of humans. Who trust God. Some of the worst suffering I endured was before I was willing to be honest that my spouse's addiction was killing me, too. When you can't reconcile your painful present with your "get out of suffering free" expectations, choose reality! In my case, that Godly perfect partnership had crumbled. My spouse's preferred partner was his addiction behaviors! So I finally admitted that that was what was going on in our household. In that choice, that admission, those changes, was-is-will be the redeeming of all that suffering, and the lessening of it.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. I appreciate knowing that it is possible to suffer and see God's hand simultaneously. It's amazing what happens to us when we get honest! t
My ex-husband's preferred partner was his addictions also, not only to drugs but love. If he thought he was without either, he'd look for it, even if it led him outside the home. Your admission was the first step to recovery for you, which applaud you for. I'm still working through mine. There are so many to choose from.
I'm curious to know what your choices might include....
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