NorthStar Community Daily Devotional

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World ====================================================== Day 17 – Disconnected Isolation Scripture focus: Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 NIV So far in our devotionals we’ve covered several roadblocks to recovery: stubborn resistance, intentions, arrogant entitlement, and resentment. (See the book Reframe Your Life for a more thorough treatment of the subject.) Arterburn calls the next hurdle “disconnected isolation.” In a beautifully crafted description that hits a little too close to home for me, Arterburn claims that he has no problems with people – so long as he is alone! How true is that? He goes on to make a compelling case for why this kind of thinking could land us in big trouble. “It is when I gather with others that I have to come face-to-face with who I am. The worst in me can lie dormant for years as long as no one is around to awaken the sleeping giant. It is amazing just how easy life is when I’m isolated. You would really like me if you observed me alone. But the “perfection” that many of us experience when we are alone and disconnected is flawed. Life is easier for us, but it is emptier. We don’t have to face who we really are so we don’t know the areas in which we need to grow. Stagnation becomes comfortable and we stop developing the maturity and wisdom God wants for us. I can remain in complete denial. I can feed all my bad habits and deep resentments and allow them to shrink my life and potential. I can take my place alongside the millions of others who have decided to surrender to a life with the least resistance and least chance for meaning and purpose. For those who have settled into this rut, it seems like the perfect way to live. In reality, it is the perfect setup to miss life as it is meant to be.” (p.55) I’ve lost count of the number of people I know who have walked out on their families, trading them in for a more controlled environment – without all those nasty complications that arise when we have to get along with others. At first, I’m told it seems like a relief. Imagine a world where the only dirty socks left lying around were yours! No one cares which end of the toothpaste you squeeze! Every meal can be your favorite! No arguments over whose turn it is to take out the trash (never mind the small fact that every turn is now your turn)! Currently I live in a virtual fraternity house. My three guys are constantly reminding me of our connectedness. They come into the kitchen where I’m happily watching television in blissful isolation as I prepare dinner – and change the channel (without asking)! They have friends over and play instruments plugged into amps until my chandeliers shake, rattle and roll. But these frat boys aren’t messing with a relationship rookie. I’ve had one little chick leave the nest. The daily dirty sock dispensers, toothpaste globbers, pizza party throwers, reluctant trash-taker-outers, tv hoggers, and musical maniacs will one day fly the coup like their big sis. And I’ll hate it. I’ll look at my calendar and eagerly wait for the day when these chicks come home and ruffle my feathered nest. Arterburn is right. Isolation may be tidy, but it’s also lonely. For those who find a way to live in disconnected isolation – watch out. Your world may be tidy, but your life will become anemic. Recommended reading: Genesis 35 and 36 in the morning; Matthew 12 and Psalm 15 in the evening Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 TNIV