Day 3
Scripture focus: "Keep me from lying to myself." Psalm 119:29
"Can you come?"
"Yep." I hadn't heard her voice in years, but many good memories - though distant and clogged with unpleasantries in more recent days - get my feet moving.
She handed me her youngest child as if she was unloading a cumbersome sack of groceries - and never turned back. Fearing danger, this little tyke swings his little limbs fiercely, resisting my firm grip. He is too young to have heard the speech about "stranger danger" - but this kid has experience. He knows the world is a dangerous place. Finally, worn out by all the flailing and fetching, we take stock of each other - two reluctant strangers thrown together as one mom tosses her baby at an unsuspecting acquaintance. Before that fateful phone call, my biggest concern of the day was whether to serve beef or chicken for dinner.
This woman used to be the best mother in the world; who she has become is a mystery to me. Stunned by his condition, I have plenty of hard choices to make. What do I say to Social Services? He is starving - and eats too fast for his own safety. How exactly does one say - "No. Slow down. There's more." His first bath is more like a long soak. Even a generous supply of "Mr. Bubbles" can't disguise the fact that a sink full of three-day-old dirty dishes has less crud caked on them than this little guy has lodged in his creases.
Someday in the future, I will come to recognize the gift of this experience. That's hindsight. For now, this is a time of suffering. For a few days, I provide basic care and lavish loads of love on this lively adventure-wrapped-in toddler-attire. In less than one week, fearing the consequences of her actions, this mom will reappear, reclaim her "rights," pontificate on her practically perfect parenting, and snatch this squeaky clean, well fed, bundle of energy out of my arms as unceremoniously as he was dumped into them. Even today, decades later, I don't know the fate of this boy with big brown eyes.
I'm a woman who believes that God calls me to live the life of a Princess Warrior - fight the good fight, live large, love extravagantly, leave a legacy, make a mark in this world. We all want to be our own action adventure heroines (or heroes)!
Real life bears little resemblance to the movies where we often get our first taste of the world's view of heroism - with cool capes and lots of nifty special effects. If we're going to grow hearts big enough to handle God's plans for us, we're going to have to tell ourselves the truth. God adventures often arrive without warning, wrapped in strange packages and without instructions. God's plans for us can include suffering minus the fairy tale ending.
In tomorrow's devotional we're going to discuss the nature of mercy - without it there is no need to grab our capes and enter the fight.
Recommended reading: Genesis 5 - 7 in the morning; Matthew 3 and 4 in the evening
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 NIV
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1 comment:
"Keep me from lying to myself." What a great verse to ask someone to help me remember...when I am! What I do about it is not up the them but at the least I will have been reminded.
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