NorthStar Community Daily Devotional

Day 283 – Forgiveness: You’ll be glad for friends like these!

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Scripture focus: If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.” Luke 17:4, The Message

Forgive – aphiemi - if certain conditions are fulfilled (1.repentance and 2.confession), there are no limits to divine forgiveness; meaning, to send forth, send away, completely cancel, removal based solely on the sacrifice of Christ; transferring case to higher court – divine court.

Lesson four: Develop an understanding of the true meaning of forgiveness, and practice forgiving (and asking for forgiveness) in all your affairs.

Although divine forgiveness has no limits (well, there is one in scripture – the unpardonable sin – but that’s not the point of this devotional), that doesn’t mean there are no conditions! I regularly have the opportunity to listen to folks share their justifiable resentments. And I can talk until I’m blue in the face – but when people feel justifiably resentful, they like to hold onto their anger. Sometimes I say this, “You know, somebody once said living with a lot of bitterness in your spirit is like swallowing poison and hoping someone else will die.” And the listener usually pauses for a second, nods, and continues on, “But you don’t understand! When so-and-so did such-and-such that really hurt me!” The wounded party usually doesn’t take kindly to me suggesting that divine forgiveness has no limits. And in a sense, they’re right. Forgiveness does have conditions. Before one can offer the gift of forgiveness, the offender must:

Confess – Confession is not just good for the soul, it’s essential if one wants to receive forgiveness. I think of it like this. If someone does something offensive to me, I can forgive them limitlessly. I can completely cancel their debt. I can transfer the case to a higher court – God’s. I can remember that God says it’s his job to judge, and I can mentally gather up the charges, stick them in a file and hand them off to God in prayer. But it would cheapen the proceedings if I run over to the offender who has not confessed the crime, and say, “Hey, buddy, I forgive you.” That’s cheapening the holiness of the forgiveness process. We can forgive, but in order to give the gift of forgiveness to the offender, the offender needs to confess. Here’s a good confession: I was wrong when I ___________; I am deeply sorry I hurt you. Stop there. Don’t explain or excuse or justify or rationalize the offense. Simply confess. Now the offended can choose to give the gift that they have already wrapped and stored in their heart, waiting for an opportunity to extend it.

Repent – Here’s where Pausch says most people fall short. He also says that a bad apology will make the offense worse – and boy is he right! Repentance involves turning around, moving away from offending and toward restitution. So first one confesses, and then says, “How can I make it up to you?” Sometimes there’s nothing you can do. Other times there is. Notice who gets to decide the recompense – the offended. And unless what they ask for is illegal, immoral, or fattening – a repentant person goes to great lengths to make restitution.

These are the two conditions to the forgiveness process. Notice that the offended can forgive without them - but can’t hand off the gift to the offender unless and until the offender fulfills these conditions. Notice also that none of this presumes that the relationship is restored. We can forgive AND choose to re-evaluate the nature of our relationship with the offender. Virtuous people figure out what it means to seek forgiveness and extend it – and then practice these principles in all their affairs.

Recommended reading: Jeremiah 15 and 16 in the morning; 1 Thessalonians 3, Psalm 57 in the evening

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