Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World
Scripture focus: If you, God, kept records on wrongdoings, who would stand a chance? As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit, and that’s why you’re worshiped. Psalm 130:3-4 The Message
Forgiving is God’s habit. Why then, is it so hard for those of us who want to live life God’s way to do the same?
“In most cases, we cannot really forgive until we have dealt with our anger. The emotion of anger, in and of itself, is not wrong. It just is. It is what we do with our anger that makes it either right or wrong, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy.” Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves, p. 224.
Of course, we need to learn what it means to forgive. Certainly it requires us to make the decision to follow through and actually practice the act of forgiving. But something stands in our way…could it be our anger? But wait a minute – have you ever been told that you shouldn’t feel “that way”? Unlike, Pete, who encouraged me to acknowledge my own legitimate and justifiable resentment, I suspect many of us have been taught to resist feeling angry.
“Healthy anger drives us to do something to change what makes us angry; anger can energize us to make things better. Hate does not want to change things for the better; it wants to make things worse.” Lewis B. Smedes, Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve, (New York, NY: Harper & Row, 1984) p. 21.
“Perhaps the most damaging consequence of being shame-based is that we don’t know how depressed and angry we really are. We don’t actually feel our unresolved grief. Paradoxically, the very defenses which allowed us to survive our childhood trauma have now become barriers to our growth.” John Bradshaw, Healing The Shame That Binds You, p. 137.
So here we go with a preliminary right step – it’s important to tell ourselves the truth, all the time, about how we feel. And if we feel mad, we need to acknowledge it. But don’t stop reading, drop your devotionals and go express your rage!! There are some “not quite right” ways to take this preliminary step. Tomorrow, we’ll talk about it!
Recommended reading: in the morning: Jeremiah 45, 46 in the evening: Jeremiah 47, 2 Timothy 3
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