Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World
Scripture focus: Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Philippians 4:6-7 The Message
Recently, our son Scott has been learning about peace and contentment from a West Coast perspective. He’s discovered that his favorite ball games are sometimes played while he’s in church – that’s weird. He’s also realized that he can feel powerless and in need of a sanity check even if he can run on the beach every single day with the ocean on the wrong side of the sand. For the next few days, we’re going to be listening in as Scott shares about his own personal experience with living the twelve step experience – California style….
When I look at the second step (“Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restores us to sanity”), my initial reaction is always the same thing - “This step is easy, I have believed in God my whole life, let’s move on to number three.” However, when I take a step back and look at how I have applied this step to my life, I realize that my reaction and my follow through are two completely different things.
I moved to Pasadena on September first. Since then I have applied for about 25 jobs. That is not a “mom”
embellishment. Most of them have been office assistant positions on Craigslist; others include Blockbuster, Barnes and Noble, Borders, Vroman's, a variety of on-campus jobs at Fuller and, most notably, a position working for an author. I have gotten exactly one interview and was promptly (more or less) yet elegantly rejected. Before I moved to California I arrogantly thought that with more than 5 years office experience at a law firm, a couple ministry jobs, and a business degree from a large university under my belt, businesses looking for part time help would drool over me.
Well, I was wrong. And I’m not sure why. Perhaps businesses try to avoid hiring people like me. Maybe they prefer 16 year old kids who they figure they can pay less money to do the same job. They don’t realize I am so desperate I will work for peanuts, M&M’s….anything. (There was one job posting for an “attractive high school girl to work in an office setting” that I didn’t feel qualified to apply for. I understand that someone more blond and female will have to fill that job position.)
As the weeks passed and the job prospects stayed exactly the same (zero), I began to get very agitated. I moved 2,500 miles away to California to prepare myself for a life of doing God’s work, why doesn’t he throw me a bone and help me with this job situation? I think to myself: I am desirable, I have a business degree, I have flexible working hours, give me a job da*m it.
One word of advice: Any time you have a thought to yourself that nobody else can hear (except God, of course) that ends in da*m it, you need to re-evaluate your thought processes. Without a job, I’ve had time to evaluate. More on what I’ve discovered in tomorrow’s devotional.
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