Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World
Scripture focus: Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. Proverbs 18:24 The Message
Do you remember the dust up when actor Tom Cruise dissed Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants when she suffered post-partum depression? Now another actor is in the news…
In his new book, Why We Suck: A Feel-Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid, Denis Leary writes that autism is a joke. "There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks . . . to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both." The Autism Society of America has fired back: "For Mr. Leary to suggest that families or doctors conspire to falsely diagnose autism is ridiculous . . . [His] remarks reflect the same misconceptions of autism being caused by bad or unemotional parenting that were held over 50 years ago." {USmagazine.com}
Wow. You’ve got to wonder – would Mr. Leary be talking like this if he had a kid who was diagnosed with autism? As you read this quote, what thoughts about Mr. Leary flash across your brain? I feel…judgmental. In Jud Wilhite’s (pastor, Central Christian Church, Las Vegas) essay “Grace City”, I think we can discover a way to point us in a more loving direction… “I used to cringe when I’d hear the cliché ‘love the sinner, but hate the sin.’ I thought it was impossible. I mean, come on, everybody who says that seems to bash both in short order. This is particularly complicated for me because I live in Sin City – Las Vegas, a town built on its exhibitionism and excess. Then I read a paragraph by C. S. Lewis that blew my mind. He notes that there is someone I love, even though I don’t approve of what he does. There is someone I accept, though some of his thoughts and actions revolt me. There is someone I forgive, though he hurts the people I love the most. That person is me. There are plenty of things I do that I don’t like, but if I can love myself without approving of all I do, I can also love others without approving of all they do. As that truth has been absorbed into my life, it has changed the way I view others. I can love the high rollers and hell raisers that populate Vegas. I can love the gamblers, rebels, strippers, students, and soccer moms no matter what they are currently caught up in. It is not my job to change them or judge them. That’s God’s job. It is my job to love them and point them to the love of Jesus. He is the one who brings change. And it is a process that takes time. When people perceive they are accepted for who they are, irrespective of what they have done or will do, then they are open to friendship and influence. This understanding motivated me to place a huge picture on my office wall. It is taken from atop the Stratosphere just as the sun set. The four-mile strip of casinos and hotels is clearly visible along with the high-rises, strip clubs, and suburbs. Across the horizon are the words “GRACE CITY.” It reminds me that no matter what a person has done, God’s uncensored grace is available. No matter what they are going through, there is hope. So I don’t think of Vegas as Sin City anymore – I think of it as Grace City.”
Whilhite concludes his essay by asking the reader about his/her city. He challenges us to consider our community a place of grace, and asks us to extend that loving perspective to all those around us. I want to amplify the question – what about our homes? Do we extend this loving grace to those we purport to love? I’m not talking about a cheap grace where we cover up everything with a thick coat of denial and pronounce it “all good.” That’s not grace – that’s a failure to engage with the truth in love. Instead, I’m asking us: do we have what it takes to say of Mr. Leary’s quote – that’s wrong – without requiring that we go on to believe that Mr. Leary is broken beyond repair? Can we say to our loved ones – “When you did _____, I felt _____” - without implying that their behavior somehow disqualifies them from being treated with respect, dignity and love? If we can learn to live like this, our lives are going to be plenty sweet!
Recommended reading: Ezekiel 28 and 28 in the morning; Psalm 87 and 88 in the evening
1 comment:
I thing our response to the quotes depends on whether or not your a mother or father or as the post says a parent of an autistic child. I had a friend who's son is autistic and from experience I can tell you that it's all too real. What the child is able to do, he does on a highly intellegent level. We've all heard of autistic children being called "idiot savant" because they can play the piano, yet not communicate with anyone.
In regard to friends, guess this explains why I don’t hate gay people as so many straight or secretly gay people say they do. Let’s see if I can find a politician to love.
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