Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World
Scripture focus: A friend loves through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble. Proverbs 17:17 The Message
#1 Warning Sign – When love is lost and it becomes all about “me” – I become judgmental of others. Margaret Feinberg, author and speaker, wrote an essay that appeared in the book unchristian, pp. 199-200.
Friendship Overcomes
“…You see, love is the opposite of judgmentalism; it tempers our views, attitudes, and interactions. In our cultural climate, love is foundational. Now some say that love has no agenda, but I believe that love is the agenda. Whether in our communities, workplaces, or government, we must be committed to love those we work with and serve.
One of our weaknesses is that we’re far more concerned with being right than being righteous. We become like the Pharisees whenever we focus on issues rather than people. Judgmentalism creeps in whenever we deal with issues as if they were black and white, rather than flesh-and-blood humans in need of redemption. Do you want to remove the unhealthy judgmentalism you have in regard to the poor? Make sure you have poor people who you love and welcome in your life. Do [you] want to remove the unhealthy judgmentalism you have in regard to homosexuals? Make sure you have gay and lesbians whom you love and welcome in your life. Do you want to remove the unhealthy judgmentalism you have in regard to our government? Make sure you have people involved in politics (even if it’s just on the local level) whom you love and welcome in your life.
Then, when we talk about the issues, we won’t just be talking about those things we care about but people we care about. And the judgmentalism, well, it will naturally begin to fade away like it did for the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, and so many others.”
“…love is the agenda.”
So I have to ask. When you’ve worked yourself up into a tizzy over someone’s bad behaving and you’re driving down the road having an imaginary conversation – really giving them the business – does that feel like the good life to you? How does it feel when you sit at lunch with a friend, and rake your husband or business partner over the coals – does that feel noble and good? As you argue with a friend or foe – making your case for the rightness of your position – does that add or detract from your joy?
“One of our weaknesses is that we’re far more concerned with being right than being righteous.”
I don’t know what might be standing in the way of your ability to love others without expectations, conditions, and a return on your investment. But if we want to live the abundant life – those obstacles are going to have to scram. May God remove our shortcomings in the areas of limited loving. In the meantime, Father, help us all practice the principle of loving others.
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