Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World
Scripture focus: I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love. Galatians 5:4-6 The Message
Scott concludes his devotional series today. Let’s see where his second step processing has taken him…
So I’m staring at my second step (“Came to believe that God has the power to restore me to sanity”) and I realize – I can be restored to sanity without a job! I’m pretty sure this is part of living a faithful life. How much faith does it take for one grad student to live by the sea with a bunch of great new friends, take interesting classes from really smart, spiritual professors, go to jazz clubs, run on the beach, visit Erwin McManus’ church (author of Soul Cravings – so you know my mom thinks this is very cool) and have “Buster” (from the TV show Arrested Development) as your deacon? By any definition, this is the good life. I have a ton of stuff to put on my gratitude list!
But I still need a job. I continue to wake up with a tiny knot of anxiety in my gut, wondering – will there be a way for me to earn a few bucks today?
Now, the million dollar question: Is there a quick fix for this? Unfortunately no, nothing spiritual is ever quick or easy. We may as well accept that one while we’re accepting what we don’t know about God. However, here is a starting point: take thoughts captive.
When I am anxious about this job situation, I have an opportunity to practice being faithful. My negativity is an open invitation to Satan – inviting him into my heart, and giving him a room to live in, rent free. The second step reminds me that I can acknowledge to God my anxiety and ask him to help me gain peace of mind. I am making a conscious decision (and effort) to consistently recognize the truth of my situation - God has a plan regardless of whether or not I know what it is.
Once I am willing to accept the fact that I will never know everything I would like to know about God, I find that my life is really not as frustrating as it felt a few days ago. In fact, my life is more than F.I.N.E…. (freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional)…it’s downright satisfying.
I’m still a guy who prefers the Atlantic to the Pacific, and NorthStar Community over any of the churches I’m visiting here (although McManus is great and “Buster” offers great benedictions). But I’ve got friends I’ve known for weeks who feel like I’ve know forever. I’ve got a mentor who takes me to lunch and actually understands my passion for recovery. I’m learning a ton of really great stuff that I hope to bring home and share with my community some day in the future. And there’s a really cool restaurant in Hollywood, called the House of Pies…where the waitress already knows my name. I wonder if she would give me a job.
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