April 20

Read Job 3

Suffered lately? Then you can relate to the words of Job. Let’s review what we know:
Job lost everything – as a result of his sin? No. Because he was “the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless – a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil. And he has maintained his integrity, even though you urged me to harm him without cause.” (Job 2:3)

Job three contains Job’s first speech in response to all this pain. In it, he curses the day he was born. Like most of us, when faced with great suffering, we soon lose perspective. Job has forgotten the years of plenty; the parties; the blessings. His greatest fear has been realized.

Last week the greatest fear I had was my daughter’s propensity to drive long distances – alone – at night – down busy highways and by-ways. It never occurred to me that I should be worrying about my son sitting in a classroom at Norris Hall on the Virginia Tech campus. Who knew?

Last week I was humming when the days were warm and sunny; last night my son and I had a good cry.

Last week I was looking forward to a lot of quality time this summer with our three children; this week my mind is filled with sorrow for the families who have had their family members snatched from them in one morning of rage. I don’t know what to pick to worry about – and am beginning to think worry is a waste of time for someone like me (who doesn’t even know how to worry accurately).

I have to consciously remember that there are still things worth humming over. I must intentionally turn my mind to thoughts of vacation and quality time – all these things are easy to forget when your eyes tend to leak involuntarily.

Yesterday my son and I stopped at a local coffee shop for a snack; next to the register stood a pile of newspapers. The headline story included the face of the perpetrator of Monday’s massacre. With calm and quiet resolution my son stood at that stand and systematically turned every paper over – face down. Employees and passers-by could not see my son’s rage. No sorrow was obvious on his countenance. He just flipped those papers over.

My friend behind the counter took my money and glanced at my boy – with sympathy. Sometimes suffering shows up in weird ways and inconvenient times.

This is THE important point of this story: WHEN SUFFERING SHOWS UP – DON’T SEND HIM AWAY. Embrace him. Acknowledge him. Lean into him. There are worse things than suffering. When we push him back, ignore him, deny him access into our heart and mind – he’s a sneaky thief. He’ll still find a way back in. He’ll creep in and set up a tent. He’ll torment you in unexpected ways.

Thought for today: List the areas of your life that you have trouble expressing or even experiencing feelings. Many of us learn to hide our feelings. In unhealthy families, there are usually only a very small range of emotions that are allowed. Our true nature is distorted and reality is hidden. This lack of emotional honesty can make us physically ill. Code words: unaware of feelings, struggle with relationships, depressed, chronically ill, realize that one’s feelings are sometimes distorted or inappropriate to a situation, withhold conversation.

I repress my feelings ____ because ____. This affects ____. This activates ____. This makes me feel ____.

Thought for tomorrow: I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all – oh, how well I remember – the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and had to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Why? Because the master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way. Lamentations 3:19-33 The Message.