April 10

Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
April 10

Scripture reading: Romans 7

I particularly appreciate scripture when I read a chapter like Romans 7 . Have you ever thought about writing an autobiography? If so, tell the truth. Would you be tempted to edit your stories? Sure you would ! I’d prefer to write an autobiography that captures my funny memories, my “victories”, my happy times. If I could rummage around in my bag of memories, I might pull out an occasional defeat – if it ultimately had a great ending. A story like the time I made alternate on my drill team, but ended up getting to step up to the plate and help the team out when one of our captains couldn’t perform. I’d tell that story. But believe me, there are some stories I would not want retold. Especially while my parents are still alive and well!

God didn’t do that in scripture. He had his divine and human storytellers spill the beans. Paul in Romans 7 does that when he, a virtual spiritual giant of a man, says this, “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.” I once had someone tell me that this wasn’t really true of Paul, once he became a believer. This must have been how he was pre-step three. Maybe this person is right. But as best as I can determine with my limited knowledge, that is not what the man said. He’s saying that he struggles with matching his behaving with his believing. He doesn’t say, “Hey, I used to be this way. But once I came to believe, I was zapped. Now I’m sinless.” He doesn’t say that in the chapter I’m reading from. So then – even spiritual giants take time to inventory their lives.

Erwin McManus has an entry in his book Soul Cravings called, “Love Is Like Stepping On Broken Glass” – ask the Holy Spirit to recall to your mind your past love experiences gone bad. As you make the list, take note of how these experiences made you feel, and see if the Spirit reveals to you any patterns of responding to this pain.

Thought for today: “How is it that the same thing that can make your life a rhapsody can leave you gutted, like a dead fish wrapped in day-old newspaper?” Depeche Mode, in the song “The Meaning of Love”

Thought for tomorrow: Look deep into my heart, God, and find out everything I am thinking. Don’t let me follow evil ways, but lead me in the way that time has proven true.
Psalm 139:23-24 New Century Edition

April 10
Teresa McBean