April 7

Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

April 7

Reading: Romans 4

In our reading today, Paul (the author of the book of Romans) discusses Abraham’s “greatness”. Abraham was a historical figure to the Jewish people – a true hero. Paul asks why he is such a hero – is it because of the great things he did? What kinds of things constitute “great things”? He quotes scripture in Romans 4:3 – “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” Ahhhh.

Paul states that it is Abraham’s believing that was the truly great thing about him. In terms of walking through the steps – that means he clearly marched right through steps one, two and three. And, if we were in a third grade Sunday School class, perhaps I’d hammer that point home for awhile and move on.

But we’re not. We’re grown ups. We can face the facts. Abraham’s behavior was not always in sync with his bold believing. Abraham certainly could have benefited from a fourth step inventory. (If you are interested, find a bible with a concordance, look up “Abraham” and read all about his life. Remember – his behaving was often suspect, but he was declared “righteous” by God. Think about it.)

Anyone who is brave enough to work through a complete moral inventory asks a question: what do I see when I examine myself? Erwin McManus, in his book Soul Cravings writes about this experience as a child – “This is a question I was asked to face years ago when I found myself desperately struggling to understand myself, trying to measure the weight of this one life. ‘What do you see?’ Even at twelve I knew this was a trick question. It really is a good question, though. Your retinal may be necessary for sight, but your soul definitely shapes what you see. My soul was confused and cold and growing calloused, and I was quickly becoming blind to so many things. When your soul is sick, one of the symptoms is blindness. Bitterness, for instance, is like a cancer that makes you blind. I had allowed hurt to make my soul toxic. Bitterness is the enemy of love because it makes you unforgiving and unwilling to give love unconditionally. It is the enemy of hope because you keep living in the past and become incapable of seeing a better future. It is the enemy of faith because you stop trusting in anyone but yourself.”*

Thought for today: I am comforted by the messy life of Abraham. Frankly, sometimes I fear careful self-examination because I am so scared of what I’ll find. Why? Because I’m afraid if I acknowledge the truth, it will make it more real. That’s silly, you say – and you’re right. But I’ve dug further and asked myself why I’m so silly. Recently I’ve discovered that I fear what God and others will think of me too. So it’s not just about worrying about my own opinions, it’s also fearing judgment and condemnation from God and others. I’m left with one thought that causes me to walk through my trepidation: even a goof like Abraham was dearly loved by God. Maybe there’s hope for me too.

Thought for tomorrow: If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5 NIV

April 7
Teresa McBean

*Soul Cravings, by Erwin Raphael McManus, Nelson Books, Introduction to “Cravings” pages unnumbered.