April 12

Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

April 12

Scripture reading: Romans 9

This week I ran into an old friend. It had been a long time since we had connected, but thanks to the magic of email and prayer lines, I knew she was in a world of hurt. I won’t spill her guts on you, but things were bad. So I said, “Hey, I’m praying for you.”

To which she said, “Well, goodness. Thanks, but we’re all FINE. God is in control, no worries here!” And off she marched with her bloodshot eyes, droopy shoulders, and extra wrinkles – in her face and clothes. Suffering wears on us. It shows, even when we try to deny it.

I understand my friend’s point. She’s afraid if she acknowledges her suffering, the rest of us fellow believers are going to give her a speech about bucking up and God’s provision. Perhaps she thinks only spiritual sissies cry in their corn flakes or lose sleep over wayward children and unpaid bills. Since my job title includes the word “minister” I suspect she has some preconceived notions about what I think strong faith looks like (and if so, I hope she’s wrong about me).

I’m still going to pray for my friend. I’m praying she stumbles across Romans nine. Listen to Paul in verse two – “I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart.” Paul got his letters printed in the Bible. I think he qualifies as a spiritual giant. And when faced with the messiness of life – he admitted it – “I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart.”
Maybe you believe that spiritual giants have short lists and anemic emotions on their step four inventories. I hope you rethink that. It’s ok for “real” men and women of faith (those who’ve marched through the first three steps) to tell the truth.

So what about you? What’s on your list that includes great sorrow and unceasing anguish in your heart?

Thought for today: The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.” Psalm 25:17 NIV

Thought for tomorrow: There’s a verse tucked away somewhere in the scriptures that tells us that we can’t heal what we don’t acknowledge. Wait. Maybe that’s Dr. Phil. Maybe he got it from the scriptures! Either way, it’s true. If you want to get to the good stuff – the big dreams, the peace that passes all understanding, the fruit of the spirit, etc….you gotta be willing to tell the truth about where you’re currently camped.

April 12
Teresa McBean