April 27

Read Job 15, 16 and 17

“If you will listen, I will show you. I will answer you from my own experience. And it is confirmed by the reports of wise men who have heard the same thing from their fathers” – Eliphaz uses personal experience and wise men’s agreement to support his advice to Job (Job 15:17-18 NLT)

Personal experience is an exceedingly important tool. I love listening to the life stories of others; I have learned some of my greatest lessons vicariously. But there are limits. Eliphaz had both experience and wise mentors – but his advice still stunk.

I had an interesting conversation with a fellow traveler on an extended flight to California. About the same age, we discovered a lot of common ground. Our children share similar interests and are close in age too. We discovered that we hang out at some of the same sporting events.

Both of us are in the middle of a tough semester of AP History and math. I asked about her life experience and she shared it generously.

Minutes into the conversation I was reminded of Eliphaz – and how similar we all are to him. My new traveling buddy did indeed share a lot of life experience with me – but we also had some glaring differences. As the conversation progressed, I realized that her world and mine were very different.

Like Eliphaz, both of us have 50 years of living life and listening to the reports of the wise men of our age. It so happens, she and I listen to really different wise men.

Her life is one of privilege. Her biggest complaint about her youngest child’s school and sports schedule had to do with an obstinate tutor and tardy chauffeur. We have an obstinate tutor totoo – called dad; our tardy chauffeur’s name is mom. My life is one of privilege too. It’s just a different kind of privilege.

Once we were flying above Vegas and hurtling toward Los Angeles, I realized that her experience – though extremely interesting – was going to require some serious interpretation if I were going to benefit from the pearls of wisdom embedded in her life’s story.

Sometimes the wrapping on a package can distract us from the gift that lies within. Last Christmas my most extravagant gift came in a small paper bag. Frankly, it would have been easy for me to tune out this gal with her complaints about the chef, gardener, and personal trainer.

I’m glad that I recalled that experience sharing has limits. And although 50 plus years brings with it aches, pains and wrinkles – it also brings with it the potential for developing new skill sets. I am learning how to use other people’s experiences even when they come with lots of limits.

Example: Sometimes a day gets so hectic that I begin to think that if I just had a little bit more help, I would be a much happier person. Other days I think if I just had more free time, I could morph into a modern day Ghandi.

It would have been easy for me to blow off my seatmate’s perceived stressors as the whining of a pampered poodle. If I had done that, I would have missed a teachable moment. As I listened to her anxieties, fears, and frustrations, I learned something about myself.

I realized that obviously more help and additional free time were not antidotes to the responsibilities of raising children. There was more going on with me than a too busy schedule. So early the next morning, when most West Coasters were snug in their beds, this Easterner got up early and inventoried her heart.

Thought for today: I see two problems with advice giving (and receiving). (1) Sometimes the advice is bad. (2) Sometimes the advice is good, but it comes wrapped in a package that turns us off and distracts us from the truth of the message. Discounting advice that is either bad or uncomfortably delivered can cost us a teachable moment.

Thought for tomorrow: Here’s one recommendation that might help prevent wasted truth encounters. When offered advice, always look for the opportunity to learn. Even bad advice can get us thinking. We can process through our response to it, and think long and hard about why we think it’s bad.

My flying buddy decided that more hired help was the standard response to her stress. This was neither practical nor right for me. But. I prayed and processed and realized in a moment of clarity that our fears have less to do with our schedules and a lot more to do with our beliefs about our schedules.

My new friend also enlightened me as to my own wrong thinking. She was under no illusions. A life of financial privilege did not come with a get-out-of-discomfort-free card. She got that. So in many ways, she is a lot wiser than me. I appreciated her guiding me to a new perspective.

As bad a counselor as Eliphaz was – God can take even his stinking thinking and use it to teach us.

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 NLT

If you’re not sure if the advice you’re giving or receiving is good or bad, right or wrong – utilize scripture as a plumb line, testing to see if the wisdom of men is consistent with the wisdom of God.