Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World
Day 181 – Depression with a twist
Scripture focus: Read 2 Samuel 6, specifically, the story of the ark slipping…
Depression with a twist – one form of depression, according to David Seamands, is the inevitable depression that accompanies the quest for perfection. “Perfectionism is a counterfeit for Christian perfection, holiness, sanctification, or the Spirit-filled life. Instead of making us holy persons and integrated personalities – that is, whole persons in Christ – perfectionism leaves us spiritual Pharisees and emotional neurotics.” (Chapter 7, Healing for Damaged Emotions) In today’s reading, a few guys do the best they can to protect the ark – and get punished for their efforts. The ark was slipping, and they tried to grab it. They knew they weren’t supposed to touch it – but touch it they did. We can ask ourselves if God might have gone a bit overboard with the consequences for their mistake, or we could ask why they had the ark on such a rickety contraption. Either way – mortals are extremely limited. There is a God – none of us got the job. When we seek perfection, we are denying the reality of our creatureliness; we’re attempting to do what only God can accomplish. Seamands calls this kind of living perfectionistic. Here are some of his descriptions for this condition:
1. Constant feeling of never quite doing well enough or being good enough
2. Self-depreciation – never quite satisfied with self (and this usually transfers into the same attitude toward others too)
3. Anxiety – created for the abundant life, when we walk around feeling like the world isn’t quite good enough – this creates a generalized feeling of anxiety. We were created for joy and gratitude. This kind of frustration and fear goes against our true God-created identity. It’s normal but not sustainable without self-injury.
4. Oversensitive conscience and comprehensive guilt. This results in a rigid over-emphasis on do’s and don’ts, rules and regulations. (I’ve also noticed that this rigidity might be creative. For example, I’ve got a friend who is a heroin addict but will only eat organic food. She judges others who don’t adhere to her rigid eating plan. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think this is ironic. I’m pretty sure she’d be better off laying off the heroin, and maybe eating some junk food once in awhile.)
5. Anger – Since we were created to be gracious and kind and loving – our idolatrous attempts to seek personal perfection inevitably creates resentment, bitterness and frustration. Perfectionists are quick to speak and quicker to anger. Anger management isn’t going to solve this problem. Anger is a symptom of idolatry – and this painful pursuit of perfection must be ferreted out and then the anger issues will dissipate.
6. Denial – if perfectionism is our problem, it’s awfully hard to acknowledge our limitations.
And so, our impossible attempts to play God leads to depression. Seamands quotes John Fletcher, a contemporary of John Wesley (so this is an old problem) – “Some bind heavy burdens on themselves of their own making and when they cannot bear them, they are tormented in their consciences with imaginary guilt. Others go distracted through groundless fears of having committed the unpardonable sin. In a word, do we not see hundreds who, when they have reason to think well of their state, instead think there is no hope for them whatever?” It’s my prayer that if we have some of the chronic symptoms of idolatrous living, God will show us how the painful pursuit of perfection is killing our joy. Only God can show us this – denial is a powerful enemy, but no match for Holy God. May God have his way with us today!
Recommended reading: 2 Kings 13 and 14 in the morning; Acts 19 and Psalm 146 in the evening
Depression with a twist – one form of depression, according to David Seamands, is the inevitable depression that accompanies the quest for perfection. “Perfectionism is a counterfeit for Christian perfection, holiness, sanctification, or the Spirit-filled life. Instead of making us holy persons and integrated personalities – that is, whole persons in Christ – perfectionism leaves us spiritual Pharisees and emotional neurotics.” (Chapter 7, Healing for Damaged Emotions) In today’s reading, a few guys do the best they can to protect the ark – and get punished for their efforts. The ark was slipping, and they tried to grab it. They knew they weren’t supposed to touch it – but touch it they did. We can ask ourselves if God might have gone a bit overboard with the consequences for their mistake, or we could ask why they had the ark on such a rickety contraption. Either way – mortals are extremely limited. There is a God – none of us got the job. When we seek perfection, we are denying the reality of our creatureliness; we’re attempting to do what only God can accomplish. Seamands calls this kind of living perfectionistic. Here are some of his descriptions for this condition:
1. Constant feeling of never quite doing well enough or being good enough
2. Self-depreciation – never quite satisfied with self (and this usually transfers into the same attitude toward others too)
3. Anxiety – created for the abundant life, when we walk around feeling like the world isn’t quite good enough – this creates a generalized feeling of anxiety. We were created for joy and gratitude. This kind of frustration and fear goes against our true God-created identity. It’s normal but not sustainable without self-injury.
4. Oversensitive conscience and comprehensive guilt. This results in a rigid over-emphasis on do’s and don’ts, rules and regulations. (I’ve also noticed that this rigidity might be creative. For example, I’ve got a friend who is a heroin addict but will only eat organic food. She judges others who don’t adhere to her rigid eating plan. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think this is ironic. I’m pretty sure she’d be better off laying off the heroin, and maybe eating some junk food once in awhile.)
5. Anger – Since we were created to be gracious and kind and loving – our idolatrous attempts to seek personal perfection inevitably creates resentment, bitterness and frustration. Perfectionists are quick to speak and quicker to anger. Anger management isn’t going to solve this problem. Anger is a symptom of idolatry – and this painful pursuit of perfection must be ferreted out and then the anger issues will dissipate.
6. Denial – if perfectionism is our problem, it’s awfully hard to acknowledge our limitations.
And so, our impossible attempts to play God leads to depression. Seamands quotes John Fletcher, a contemporary of John Wesley (so this is an old problem) – “Some bind heavy burdens on themselves of their own making and when they cannot bear them, they are tormented in their consciences with imaginary guilt. Others go distracted through groundless fears of having committed the unpardonable sin. In a word, do we not see hundreds who, when they have reason to think well of their state, instead think there is no hope for them whatever?” It’s my prayer that if we have some of the chronic symptoms of idolatrous living, God will show us how the painful pursuit of perfection is killing our joy. Only God can show us this – denial is a powerful enemy, but no match for Holy God. May God have his way with us today!
Recommended reading: 2 Kings 13 and 14 in the morning; Acts 19 and Psalm 146 in the evening
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