NorthStar Community Daily Devotional

Having a Heart in a Sometimes Heartless World

Day 177 – Red-faced guilt and lame excuses

Scripture focus: And now, children, stay with Christ. Live deeply in Christ. Then we’ll be ready for him when he appears, ready to receive him with open arms, with no cause for red-faced guilt or lame excuses when he arrives. 1 John 2:28 The Message

There are all sorts of ways to describe people with emotional baggage. Here are a few ways that David Seamands uses to discuss emotionally challenged people in need of divine healing.

1. Continuous feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, inferiority or an inner voice saying – “I am unworthy.”
2. The need for perfection – always striving, usually feeling guilty, driven by the ‘oughts’ and ‘shoulds’.
3. Super sensitivity – needing constant approval and affirmation
4. Fearful – fear of failure, fear of wrongdoing, struggle with making a decision

Other emotions give us fits too: anger management issues, depression, mood swings, and more – all indicate that we’ve got issues with our emotions. One could wrongly conclude that emotions are just too much trouble – and we should avoid them at all costs. I get this. I especially get that it doesn’t work. Everyone knows I have some hearing challenges; most people also get the fact that I have some listening issues too. Yesterday I had to do a lot of listening. Since it’s not exactly my strong suit, by late afternoon I was pretty tired and stressed. Especially considering the fact that most of what I heard was bad news. By the time I popped into my local grocery store for dinner fixings, I was pretty much unfit for public viewing.

I usually enjoy grocery shopping. I run into people I know and hear good stories and get caught up on how their kids are doing. But last night, my shopping experience was annoying. Some guy kept bumping me with his grocery cart because he was turned around yelling at his kid. The lady in front of me displayed a distinct lack of trust for the clerk, and kept challenging her scanning skills. This tripled her time in line. Usually this doesn’t bother me; I usually use this time to read magazines for free. But not this night - I just wanted to go home. Finally, I manage to unload my groceries on the conveyer belt and maneuver my way around to the front of my cart. Now the mad dad can bump my cart as long as he likes without aggravating me.

The suspicious purchaser is gone. My life is looking up.

And then the bagger boy asks, “Do you have a bad preference?”

“Why do you ask?” I respond with shock. How does this guy know about my “bad” preferences? Who told him that I prefer peanut butter and chocolate to fruits and vegetables when I’m stressed out? Does he realize that even as we speak, I’m trying to decide whether I’m going to go home and take my frustrations out via a good workout video or crawl into bed and mope? Who is this young bagger, who understands that I have bad preferences?

“Well, I was just wondering…do you want paper or plastic?” Oh…my…gosh. He didn’t ask if I had a bad preference – he asked if I had a bag preference! I walked into my favorite grocer’s super-sensitive, fearful, striving, and anxious. Although I lacked the energy to state a bagging preference (unless he’d agree to follow me home, unload my groceries and put them away neatly), I definitely had a bad mindset – and plenty of emotional baggage. Can you relate?

After a good night’s sleep, my personality seems on the mend – in large part because of the super good news tomorrow’s devotional will reveal.

Recommended reading: 2 Kings 6 and 7 in the morning; Acts 16 and Psalm 142 in the evening