September 19
Scripture focus: Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way. You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble." So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him camper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet. James 4:1-10 (The Message)
Obviously, God is not pleased by my friend's choice to commit adultery.
My friend assumes that her life is miserable because she has displeased the Lord.
I wonder if the root issue is really more about her unwillingness to trust God. (Hang with me -- I'm headed someplace with this kind of thinking.)
On a regular basis my buddy renews her commitment to pleasing God. And she works really hard at this...for about a week. Then she gets discouraged, feels ashamed, gets anxious and ends up comforting herself...with new clothes she can't afford, a new love obsession, or some other form of self-medication that often has the unwanted side-effect of self-destruction.
What if...instead of working so hard to please God, she simply practiced trusting him? Please don't hear this as a simplistic religious response. I am suggesting something that is very very hard. It's not supposed to be easy!!! Changing old, ingrained patterns is never easy!
However, I would submit for your consideration that slinking around with her best friend's husband was also not easy. Divorcing her first husband was no walk in the park. It didn't feel so great being kicked out of her church either (no comment on that topic). When her best friend found out, showed up at the ball field where their children were playing and made quite the scene -- including calling this woman a bunch of words that even I don't use -- that wasn't easy either. Creditors call her daily -- that's embarrassing. When her credit card gets rejected because she's over her limit, that's humiliating.
So if you're thinking about how hard what I am about to suggest is -- I agree. But not as hard as the consequences of living independently of God. More on this tough topic tomorrow.
Recommended reading: Nehemiah 4-6
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2 comments:
"G-d wants to strip us [me] of our [my]illusions." isolation with G-d unveils our [my] pain. "the effect of isolation is striking, unnerving and consistent with the G-d who demands nothing less than total devotion. G-d...wants to deprive us [me] of anything that is meaningless or counterfeit. He wants us [me] to experience isolation when we [i] need it, to be pushed to the point of discovering that we [i] can't fulfill ourselves [myself], to face the reality that life in this world will never be fully fulfilling. emptiness and disappointment are chronic realities... repentance must include a sense of G-d's high calling to love and a sense of humility...allow yourself [myself] to sorrow over the damage you [i] have caused to yourself [myself], to your [my] relationship with G-d and to others.
repentance is not simply a decision or an act of your [my] will to stop addictive behavior. it's not just a new effort you [i] make. rather, it's an act of G-d and His grace that occurs as you [i] open yourself [myself] to G-d and the deep work of His Spirit in your [my] heart." (False Intimacy pg 81, by Dr. Schaumburg)
the process is most assuredly painful and scary. i sweat, tremble, and cry. silence, isolation, is deeply painful. i long for an easier way. yet the result is an ever growing peace, a peace that truly passes all understanding.
A. "Nanny' Mouse
My hope and trust that GOD will day by day continue to reveal Himelf to me and that in that process I become more and more like Him leaves me to wonder how someone can with a clear conscience play church yet cheat on their spouse, lie and steal. I am a simple person, very black & white, probably judgemental...as I see deep character flaws with a large dose of narcisstic behavior in this friend's behavior. I realize that Godly people are capable of ungodly behavior, but I have trouble separating how we can continue in sin and call ourselves a people of God. It is God's Grace I know, but since for me from the moment I received God's free gift of Mercy & Grace I have been a changed person. It is not that I don't sin...I am just not the person I used to be (He has delivered me from the pig pen and brought me into HIs heavely kingdom.) I desire to please Him and obey HIm. I am filled with gratitude for what He has done for me and that gratitude alone keeps me wanting to "behave" in a manner that is pleasing to Him. I don't need a "boundary" to know that cheating on my spouse is wrong, or putting us in financial debt or, or, or...
Lord, but I must be a Pharisee...forgive me Lord that I do not extend Mercy & Grace as you do.
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